Movie Appraisal: Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)

"I don't have a soul."

Well, I guess I have to say that not all dread can be realized. Sometimes a really pretty decent horror movie can come along and impress me. This movie was the reason I did this stupid Children of the Corn review series. I've always heard about it, heard about one of the worst titles a sequel movie can have, and I wanted to review it. I thought it would be bad. I thought it would be a travesty of film, something so utterly abhorrent that it could be likened to the Necronomicon in what it can do to people who watch it. This was supposed to be that movie. I was looking for so bad that my head would explode from watching it. Instead-

Instead I watched a really decent horror film, on par with the third movie of the franchise, and certainly better than the four other movies by quite a stretch. I actually really enjoyed the movie. Its nuances mixed with its storytelling really worked for me. The horror elements along with the mindscrew moments and the dream-visions made me really get into the plot. Then again I have a thing for dream-visions and mindscrew plots.

I think the cinematography alone puts this above the other Children of the Corn movies. It is extremely stylized at times. And it works on almost every conceivable level. Kari Skogland did a really good job with this movie, having the focus on a young woman, like the fourth movie, but without that movie's meandering plot. While I barely recognize any of the actors of this film besides Nancy Allen, Stacy Keach, and, of course, John Franklin as the titular Isaac, everybody is putting on their game faces in terms of acting. I was actually brought into this movie. I kind of cared. I haven't given a damn for a single character in the course of these films. But I actually kind of found a modicum of actual concern in this film. Bravo, Isaac's Return. Bravo!

The horror here, the gore effects, and the atmosphere are all well done. While never really scary or terrifying, the movie does have its moments of being unsettling. It's also much creepier than the other five films, which in a horror franchise is actually phenomenal. I've never really found any fear in these movies, but this one at least tries really hard to be something more than the others.

One thing that does kind of bother me is that this movie is nearly devoid of children. In a franchise whose title has "Children" in it, there are remarkably few children in this movie. Throughout the last two movies, children had been focused on less and less as well, with much more focus on "teenagers" or adults in some fashion. This movie moves away from the pretense of the actual title of the movie series, and just becomes about "old people of the corn." I kind of wish I were jesting more than I actually am. The "child" possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows (or He Who Walks Behind the Rows himself, we never really get an answer on that) is basically a full grown man in his mid-twenties. And the main character of Hannah is also in her mid-twenties trying her damnedest to pass as a teenager. So, the premise of the "children of the corn" basically dies with this movie. And I don't mind that. The children of the first few movies are now adults. And it seems like there's a restructuring for the future happening. Not enough scary kids, it seems.

I really thought that whole thing of no children (or very, very few) was a good idea. I wasn't expecting "Mid-Twenties People of the Corn." I guess it doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Anyway, so, Hannah is looking for her mother. She meets some weird folks in town. Isaac, who I could have sworn died in the first film, is in a coma and has been for nineteen years. He awakens with Hannah's touch and really wants her to bone his kid. And that's the plot of this movie. Hannah has limited crippling psychic visions as well that give her some plot information. But mostly the plot is about the older people of the corn trying to get Hannah and Matt to bone. Some interesting things happen on that front, like Hannah being led away form the ceremony by Matt's girlfriend, and her getting away because these creepy leather wearing twenty-five year old named Gabriel has decided to save and then bone her. Matt's girlfriend (I think her name is Morgan, although I never really heard it mentioned in the movie) gets killed with an awesome line.

And then Randall Flagg happens.

Okay, if you're not a Stephen King fan, let me explain. It seems a theory on the internet, of all places, is that He Who Walks Behind the Rows and Randall Flagg are the same person. I guess there was a mention of them being POSSIBLY synonymous in The Stand, but it's this movie that cements that somebody certainly thought they were synonymous. Gabriel is Randall Flagg. The writing and character are dead on. There is nothing else even slightly like this in any of the other movies or in any of the other depictions of He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Hell, in the third movie, the character was an eldritch corn abomination. This movie goes a very long way to showing the Randall Flagg i've always known and loved. Gabriel joking around, killing Isaac, planning meticulously for what he wants to come to pass, well, it all makes sense. Even impregnating Hannah. If you've ever read (or watched the miniseries of) The Stand, he was a bit obsessed with an offspring of his own.

So, I have no idea what the writing intention was here, but it seemed like a very clear cut Flagg reference from where I was watching. And I loved it. I think every movie should have a Randall Flagg in it.

Anyway, that's the movie for the most part. It's very short and goes pretty quickly. It was a good ride of a flick with some decent horror besides. The scenes felt very authentic and well put together. The sprinklers were a clever device to have the girls fleeing in the rain. I thought it rode up the tension more than a little bit. Mostly this felt like a film of a great deal of good decisions. I mean, the title was a very bad decision, but Nancy Allen and bringing John Franklin back were both good decision. Gabriel's character association with Flagg and the actor of Paul Popowich behind him was also incredibly well done.

This is another movie of this franchise that I recommend. And you really don't need any prerequisites to watch it besides the first film, which wasn't bad either. I actually find it quite interesting how very few of these films line up in continuity with each other. They all feel like completely separate entities with completely separate continuities from each other. I know they are supposed to line up, but the differences in quality and story are very apparent. And with very little bleeding between films, it feels less like a franchise and much more like a bunch of films that share elements and He Who Walks Behind the Rows. This is the only movie that really feels directly connected to any other movie in the franchise, and it works here really well.

I'm kind of heaping praise on this movie, and I wasn't expecting that. I thoroughly and completely enjoyed this film. While there are some boring and stupid moments in the film, specifically the wandering around bits in the beginning of the movie, I really found the pace well done when looking at the film as a whole. Check it out if you have any interest. It's a really decent movie that has a good deal to offer. And it reinvigorated me to get through the rest of these movies. Four and five almost broke me. If six had been badly mediocre, I might have stopped there. Instead I'm going to hope the quality will continue.






(I know it won't.)

Mini Movie Appraisals Part 2: Lifeforce (1985), Eden Log (2007), and The Sixth Sense (1999)

I'd like to do another session of a bunch of extra movies I saw this October that I couldn't necessarily milk long reviews out of. These three movies: Lifeforce, Eden Log, and The Sixth Sense have literally almost nothing in common. Lifeforce is a weird vampire alien sci-fi horror movie from the 1980s. It is both slow-paced and well acted, definitely reminiscent of earlier films of the sci-fi horror genre, particularly the slow-paced 1950s sci-fi horror movies that more often than not involved scientists standing around talking to one another. Eden Log is a heavily stylized, almost avant-garde movie involving a man with amnesia and monstrosities hunting both him and the others in the cave he happens to be in. It is an incredibly different kind of movie, I'll give it that. And The Sixth Sense is The Sixth Sense, but I'll talk about that one quickly too.

Despite the title sounding like a group of cheesy superheroes, Lifeforce is actually very staunchly in the realm of sci-fi horror. Well... I probably should say that I use both of those terms very lightly in this case. Lifeforce is a long and unassuming movie that plays like a much more epic film than it could ever be. The "Lifeforce" in this case is human life energy or soul energy or whatever you'd like to call it, and the villains are space vampires. It's an absolutely ridiculous premise, certainly calling on certain sci-fi drive-in B-movies from the 1950s and 1960s as places to start from.

The whole movie has the feel of a modern-day 1950s sci-fi B-movie, like The Thing From Another World or Them! With an incredibly slow pace and most of the movie spent talking or talking about talking, it can be fairly dry at times (Okay, incredibly dry, even boring might be more accurate). The effects are cheesy, the acting somewhat overdone, but still believable for most characters, and the whole movie mostly feels like an experiment gone wrong. So many scenes make little to no sense that I found large portions of the movie insulting to my intelligence. All the while the movie talked down to me! Despite all of this, the British actors and Tobe Hooper made this movie classy even with the gratuitous amounts of nudity, both male and female.

While I somewhat enjoyed the ridiculousness of this film, it really isn't a great movie. I do enjoy the Britishness of the film though. And the actors were really doing their best to make the plot enjoyable. The space-vampire premise is silly and ridiculous, but when the astronauts find them in the first place it is appropriately weird. I liked the oddity of it all. It's average at best despite some interesting moments. I did find some enjoyment in it though, so if you want to see an odd, 1950s sci-fi paced movie made in the mid-1980s with space-vampires, this may well be the movie for you.

 Eden Log is both beautiful and dark as a movie. I think the visuals and the cinematography are the absolute best parts of the film. When the main character, Tolbiac, wakes up in a dank cave without any memories lying next to a dead man, you almost know the movie is going to be a bit interesting. And it kind of is. With elements of sci-fi horror, and psychological horror, it actually reminds me a great deal of the later Pandorum. While I absolutely love Pandorum with a passion nearly unrivaled by any other film, this one is a great deal more forgettable. Despite the initial promise of the plot, I found the look of the movie to work against itself. It seemed to become less horror as the plot wore on, and a great deal more convoluted and frankly less interesting. The monsters seemed to be hastily done albino creatures and they didn't do to much for me. There never seemed to be any tension when viewing them, unlike Pandorum and that just took me right out of the horror.

As for character, well, none of them are really all that interesting. The plot is a simple one of escape and getting to the surface, but it is accomplished by a minimalist script with very little actual spoken dialogue. I really liked this aspect of the film even if it did make the entire movie drag slowly at times. The scientist that Tolbiac meets up with about halfway or so through the movie is just about the most interesting character. She hold him despite his strength in semi-captivity because... well, the cave complex seems to make people go insane and turn into subhuman monsters. And he kind of is a monster but not a monster at the same time? I have no idea... but she's scared of him a bit. Eventually she runs away when her tent is attacked by the creatures and Tolbiac follows her, and then the best scene in the movie happens as Tolbiac catches up with her in the elevator and simultaneously makes love to her and rapes her. This is incredibly well shot, incredibly and darkly psychological, and appropriately painful for both parties involved. The horror that crosses Tolbiac's face when he realizes what he has done is palpable, as is her hatred for him.

The plot staggers towards the end, becoming far more complex than it should be, making Tolbiac the hero without any real buildup of his character, but most of the movie is a fun ride. The lack of dialogue and actual horror can be seen as a major downside here, but I think parts of the movie work quite well, and although never scary, it does tension fairly well. The psychological aspects of the movie are by far my favorites, and it is a ride of a movie, even if it isn't always a fun or enjoyable one.

I seem to be praising this movie a lot, but despite the artistry and everything else about it that I liked, I found this movie hard to focus on at times. The lack of dialogue, characters, or plot really made this one a much longer movie for me than it should have been. I was more often confused than anything else, and I came out of this film with a bad taste in my mouth. I really wouldn't recommend it unless the premise sounds incredibly fascinating. It's an artistic film, I'll give it that, but for what end? I have no idea.

Look, if you don't know anything about The Sixth Sense, you shouldn't even be reading this blog. It's as near to a classic horror film as the 1990s can offer. Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osment are nearly pitch perfect in their roles as respectively a child psychologist and a troubled young boy. I won't spoil this movie on the crazy off-chance you've never heard of it. I have no idea how you wouldn't know about it, but... I'd rather be safe... and it's about as good a twist as a twist can be. I actually saw this movie in theatres back when it was actually in theatres, so I actually experienced the twist first hand.

Anyway, I haven't seen the movie since that time I saw it in the movie theatre. And while I liked it when I was ten, I had no idea what I would think about it at twenty-three. I think I love this movie even more now than I did then. I certainly appreciate it a lot more now. The acting is incredibly solid, easily one of the better performances from every actor in the production that I have ever seen. The plot is consistent and very good all around, and the writing is pretty spot-on. While I think the dialogue is a little clunky at times, and the directing can sometimes be shock-and-awe over consistency if that makes any sense at all, M. Night Shyamalan does a great job all around. This twist made him the master of twists for a time, even if that time didn't last for long. He was a master nonetheless and this movie stands as testament to that mastery over the artform of movie-making.

I don't even know what else to say. I love this movie. Everybody, horror fan or not, should watch it at least once in their lifetimes. It is brilliant and beautiful and needs to be enjoyed by everyone. I wish I could add more, but I think everything about this movie has already been said. I really liked it, and that's all there is.

Television Miniseries/Movie Appraisal: Storm of the Century (1999)

"The good is an illusion. Little fables folks tell themselves so they can get through their days without screaming too much." 

I assume this review will be appropriate for those affected by Hurricane Sandy like I am. I am currently in Connecticut, having battened down the hatches for the storm. I haven't lost power, although the lights were certainly threatening for a while, and thus I can watch the long hours of Storm of the Century and put out my thoughts on it. I never really expected to review this one. I've seen it a few times before, have fond memories of it, but also find it incredibly long to watch these days, especially all in one sitting. I just usually don't have the time for a long television miniseries. But, with the hurricane, all my activities cancelled, and the perfect time to watch this miniseries again, I took the opportunity. I kind of had to do it. When will the next time be that I get a chance like this to be relevant in my review choice?

I'm not sure exactly what I can say about this. Obviously Stephen King wrote the screenplay, although this was not ever based on any of his novels. The screenplay was published too. I own a copy of it. I read it along with watching the movie this time around. Some things are changed around, but a great deal of it remains the same or largely similar. While I won't say that this is absolutely the best movie/miniseries based off of something Stephen King wrote, although it is a very good one, I would say it may very well be his most ambitious and possibly also his most poignant. I've thought on Storm of the Century a great deal, particularly when the weather is stormy... or when there is snow on the ground.

Craig R. Baxley directed it, and the job he did is absolutely wonderful. Yes, there are some awkward scenes, and yes, the actors aren't always perfect, but there are some great moments in this little film, particularly in the beginning and at the end. The time spent getting everything to look perfect, specifically Linoge, is something to be proud of unto itself. But there is also making the snow and the storm look like actual snow and storm... and that was accomplished fairly accurately. I've seen snow and storms... hell, two years ago we had three or four feet of snow on the ground. So, yeah, I'd say I have an inkling about how snow looks in real life.

As for plot, well, it's certainly well done. A murderer is caught on an island off the coast of (you guessed it) Maine that is bracing for a heavy storm, a storm of the century, if you will. This murderer, André Linoge, killed an old woman, and remained sitting in the house he killed her in until the main character and constable of the town, Michael Anderson, takes him away in handcuffs. The rest of the plot is rather straightforward, although there are moments of following around relatively minor characters who either kill themselves or others under the supposed influence of Linoge. Oh, I didn't mention something? Yeah, it seems like Linoge is some kind of supernatural force of nature. His name is an anagram of Legion, as in the Legion from the Gospels. You probably know the passage from the Book of Mark 5:9: "And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion; for we are many." (I'm citing this as the Revised Standard Version of the Bible.) Now, whether or not Linoge is that Legion or not is of no consequence. He remains stalwart, nearly silent, and fairly creepy until near the middle portion of the movie. He seems to need to act as the people he is attempting to control to make them do his will, but sometimes even he seems to fail. He tries to possess a man named Billy at one point so that Billy will kill his own girlfriend. But the plan doesn't go as it should because Billy's a coward and won't kill her. It's the only moment of the movie where Linoge absolutely fails, and it's a moment that shows his fallibility. It's also a moment the audience needs to see to sow the seeds of doubt in our minds. Yes, he succeeds quite easily in his next plan, but for that first plan to fail is telling.

The rest of the story plays out as Linoge eventually escapes from prison, the people on the island are upset, people start going missing, and all the paths lead to one message: "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND I'LL GO AWAY."

What Linoge wants is the big question throughout the movie. It is revealed, almost at the end of it, that what he wants is a child of his own, to raise as he will- a child of the residents there. While Michael dissents to giving away a child and his soul, the rest of the town concedes, and Linoge finds himself in possession of Michael's child at the end of the movie.

There are some fairly powerful moments within the plot, and some that are slightly less than powerful. Stephen King can sometimes let a story get away from him, and although seeing many members of the town can give us a good feeling of the town, it can also lead to confusion when one townsperson seems really important when you have no idea if you've seen them in the movie before they have an important moment. The amount of townspeople in this movie may well be accurate and well-portrayed, but they are also copious, and that led to a ton of confusion from me over who I was actually looking at in parts of the movie. The problem also is that none of these extra townspeople are really important besides a select few... so featuring them seems a little dubious to me. Also, I have to complain about some of the CGI and Linoge's sharp, dirty teeth. Those things were utterly unneeded in my opinion. They were superfluous and worked on absolutely no levels. I did not like them is my point here.

The main body of the story with Linoge and Michael being featured and opposing one another is a big draw here. The other is the actual storm itself. I'm sorry, but a movie featuring the title Storm of the Century better damn well have a storm of the century. And this movie doesn't disappoint. The storm is both atmospheric and vicious, and hearkens back to times when whole places would disappear from a storm. Roanoke colony is heavily referenced within the framework of the plot. Linoge is even indicted in its disappearance. The storm is truly the big draw here... which, I suppose, is one of the reasons I'm reviewing this movie now. It's atmosphere, tension, darkness, and acting are also all topnotch so as to make this a very enjoyable film... even if it is overlong.

There are three extreme acting powerhouses in this film. Colm Feore, who plays Linoge, is absolutely haunting. The man plays creepy better than most I've ever seen. His serenity, calmness, and utter lack of emotion lends a lot to the idea that he is purely evil. The character, I mean, not the actor. Opposing him as the protagonist of the feature is Tim Daly, who has the most emotionally driven performance of the miniseries. It's hard not to relate to the hardworking man, who tries his best to be good in a world working against him. His good that opposes the evil of Linoge works very well in a black-and-white world... but... this film may not be just black-and-white, as we'll see. The last actor I really want and need to mention is Jeffrey DeMunn, who plays Robbie Beals, the town manager. Jeffrey Beals must love working in Stephen King based movies, because those are the only movies I've ever seen him in. The guy knows how to act though, and is thoroughly entertaining throughout without ever being wholly unlikable. These three really are featured the most, and definitely hold their weight up a fantastic actors all of them. As an honorable mention I should say that Casey Siemaszko, who plays Hitch, is also very well done. The actor had the exact right face and acting style for the character he was playing, although I'm pretty certain he never had a true moment to show off what he could truly do acting-wise.

Anyway, this movie is incredibly enjoyable with some genuinely creepy moments in the first half of the film and small parts of the second half. (Yes, I know the miniseries actually consists of three episodes, but I'm watching on DVD, so I'm going by halves here.) Linoge and the storm itself are the real scare factors here and both do a good job at heightening both tension and atmosphere almost to breaking points. I also love the moral choice at the end of the film. It is a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of choice. It is not a black-and-white and clear-cut choice, but one that has no truly good answers. While I agreed with Michael that you can't deal with the devil, there would be no guarantees that any of them could ever leave that island alive... or be found at all. Maybe the dreams and the dropping of the children as they flew with him were all bluffs Linoge put on, but seeing what he did to establish himself before then, it's hard to argue that he probably would send as many as he could to their deaths, either until they agreed with his terms or they were all dead. Maybe a few of strong moral compass would survive the ordeal, but what then? Would the children still live? Would they still be damned? There is no way to know since they made the other choice. And that choice, although terrible for Michael, saved the lives (even if those lives are damned) of the rest of the townsfolk. And I'm not certain that is the worst choice in the world in this case. There are times when you should not compromise your codes, and others when it is the only choice, but here there is no truly right or wrong answer, and that's what makes the choice so fascinating to look at.

I guess that, besides my praise, I have a final and important question to raise: Why couldn't Linoge just choose an orphan to raise? I mean, there are plenty of orphans seeking adoption. Why not a baby that is well on its way to being aborted? Why not a child that is lost in the woods? Hell, if he wanted to adopt a child, couldn't he just make up an identity and go get one legally? Or enlist some nice people to adopt one for him? Why did he have to go through all the trouble and all the murder, all the complications really, when there are simpler ways of dealing with these things? I assume it speaks a great deal about the personality of Linoge that we didn't see. He wants to create chaos and disorder and ruin lives. It wasn't just for the child that he came to Little Tall Island, ME. He also came there to have his own brand of fun, causing strife amongst the people, and causing more than a few to kill themselves, kill others, or die untimely deaths. I guess that's the real kicker here. Linoge could have done this anyway of his choosing. He could have made this easy. There was no reason for him to need an island child that we know of or suspect. He wanted to watch those people on that island cave into themselves and lose themselves and their souls to that decision because he truly liked to revel in their pain, their misery, their discomfort, and their terror. And that's what makes Linoge all the more terrifying. He exists to feed off of these negative emotions. He acknowledges the evil of men, but as that first quotation at the start of this review says, "...good is an illusion."

I'd suggest this movie as a watch if there is a storm going on or the snow is coming down. It is a good watch under the right conditions. There is a lot of good things here, but a great deal of superfluous plot threads, characters, motivations, and the like. I could have done without at least an hour or two out of that four hours or so of movie. But then it would truly be a movie and not a miniseries event. So, there's that. While I liked the miniseries, I would be reticent to truly recommend it for everybody. Again, it's a great watch under the right conditions and when you know what to expect from it. But it can also get quite dry, quite boring, and quite long at other times. So, use your discretion and have a good deal of time to put aside if you do decide to watch it. You probably won't regret all of it... only the parts where nothing's happening.

Movie Appraisal: The House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Okay, I'm certain that everybody is going to call me out as being a terrible person for this review. I mean, this movie is a remake of a much beloved film (which I myself like very much), and stars some actors who are not exactly Shakespearean in scope. But saying all of that, stating all of the ways this movie is bad and should be bad and should be physically painful for me to watch... stating all of these little things that should make me want to rip the movie apart with my teeth and write a scathing review about just how horrid it really is... I can't. I like this movie. I really do. It is an incredibly effective horror film that scared me terribly when I first saw it probably close to ten years ago.

I mean, I was a big horror fan even back then. Hell, I would read and watch horror as often as I could, taking it in as much as some people take in chocolates or fine wines. I make not be the most knowledgeable horror fan in existence... and I'm sure there are a ton of people in this world that know oodles and oodles more than I ever could about horror movies and everything else, but saying that, I've seen a lot of horror films, a lot of terribly budgeted horror films, a lot of slasher films, a lot of exploitation films, a lot of Italian horror, American horror, Japanese horror, Spanish horror, Finnish horror, and Korean horror films... and there are a few that I really like, and a bunch that I cannot stand, but this movie, for whatever reason, I have deemed effective.

Maybe it was because of how young I was when I first saw this film, or maybe it was because of how much it actually legitimately terrified me. I mean, along with Paranormal Activity, Hannibal, and The Blair Witch Project this is probably one of only four films that actually have scared me senseless. And this film... this film is wonderful. I love its stupidity. I love its lack of logic. I love how its absolutely mindless horror with a dumb plot and window dressing all around. It wants to get people scared. it wants to make you feel for the characters in one way or another... and love it or hate it, I think it succeeds admirably.

Now, I can hear people calling me out, "Saquarry, you liked Ghost Ship too. What's wrong with you? Are you terrible at seeing the quality from the crap?" Screw you, fake person who doesn't exist. Screw you and your stupid logic that makes no sense to me. If I want to insanely like bad films that are terrible you can't stop me by saying that I shouldn't. Look, these films are not good, I'm not saying they're good. I'm not saying they're quality and I'm not saying they're believable. But what I will say is that these two films try to be scary... they attempt to throw fear into the viewer's mind. They are mindless horror, and I won't argue that, but there is so much mindless horror that is so much worse. And maybe I like these movies because they aren't trying to be more. They are trying to be Oscar winning films like the terrible Black Swan. I would rather watch this movie or Ghost Ship any time over that overrated piece of garbage that calls itself "psychological". I mean, screw you Black Swan. You didn't deserve any awards because you were drivel. You were terrible and you should feel bad for existing. And Aronofsky, you should be ashamed of yourself. You've done so much better with Pi and Requiem for a Dream, and now that you're well known you come out with popular drivel. Shame on you. SHAME.

But... uh... getting back to The House on Haunted Hill... this movie feels real. It feels like the cast had fun. They knew they weren't going to win awards or become more famous. The movie was what horror should be, something that tries to unnerve or scare people and that's what I liked about it. It did unnerve me. It did scare me. It didn't matter that it had no basis in reality whatsoever. It didn't matter to me that the critics didn't like it. What horror films, besides the Italian horror films, do the critics actually like? None... well, maybe The Sixth Sense, but that's the exception that proves the rule. Critics don't like horror, seeing it as drivel, but horror can be absolutely beautiful. For people like me, people that love to be scared, this movie is amazing. It succeeds in doing what every horror movie should try to do, and that is: be scary. I find it upsetting that so many "horror" movies... or movies that claim to be horror are so tame. They aren't trying to scare anybody, but this one... this one attempts to scare... and succeeds in my book.

Do the characters matter? No. Yes, you may get attached to some, but their parts are basically interchangeable to me. You should know who's going to die and live from the very beginning. The effects, although cheap at points, are fantastic. The machinery in the mansion and the weird things are so well done and mystifying. Hell, the whole idea of the insane asylum and the fire within and the ghosts and crap... well, I think it's cool. Yeah, nobody is going to win the million dollars. Yeah, they're all stupid for sleeping in an abandoned mental institution, but man does it make for a convenient and horrific plot. Again there are silly things abounding and the acting leaves much to be desired, but if you step aside from all of that and just see a horror movie... well, I dare you not to feel a little fear at midnight when you're all alone.

Movie Appraisal: The Nameless (Los Sin Nombre) (Els Sense Nom) (1999)

The Nameless feels like a very 1990s type of horror film. It actually at first reminded me slightly of Se7en (1995). It started out like a police investigation with an odd body showing up. It was frankly kind of disturbing. The film itself has a quality to it that makes everything feel slightly off. It's a very interesting kind of film that can make even mundane things disturbing.

I don't know exactly why this movie reminds me so much of Se7en, but it does. The plot is almost nothing like it, and most things are incredibly different, but both movies feel very similar to one another. This film is all about trying to find answers much like The Ring is. Actually this movie is like a Spanish version of a mixture between Se7en and The Ring.

The reason this movie first came onto my radar was because it was compared to a psychological horror movie I looked up recently (I couldn't say which one because I don't remember.), and I wanted to see this film. It sounded interesting.

Well, this film is not psychological horror. It is far from the realm of psychological horror. Sure, it wants you to think it's psychological horror, but all it really is is a horror film. Is it a good horror film? Well, that depends. I kind of liked it. I thought some parts were decently done. The problem is nothing in this film is memorable. There are no memorable scenes, nothing that really popped out at me. The whole build up to the ending wasn't disappointing, it just happened. And I'm not entirely certain what to think about that. I kept thinking that this movie would have some awesome payoff kind of ending that would make the whole movie worth it... but it didn't. It wasn't disappointing, as I said, it just... well, was.

There are some very strange, almost nonsensical, parts throughout the film. I'm not certain why the film keeps showing the film "tearing". I've never seen that in a film like this before. It was different, but also distracting. I liked it, but it didn't make sense as to why that was happening by the movie's end.

The way the film is shot is decent, but predictable. The whole movie is predictable, but so many things come up in the movie that are never brought up again. So many plot points seem to be forgotten simply so the ending can happen in the way it happened. I wish they had redone the ending, or just filmed a different one. I would have a distinctly different opinion about the movie is the ending wasn't so... average.

The acting is mostly good, but I can't say it's great. Listening to it in Spanish is perfectly fine, but the subtitles don't always seem to match what the characters are saying. It leads me to think that the subtitles are stylized a bit, and I'm not a huge fan of that.

So, my ultimate thoughts on this movie? It's decent. I'm not angry about it. I'm not disappointed I saw it. It is a forgettable film though, and I'll probably forget the whole thing in a little while and never think of it again. I doubt this movie is anybody's favorite film. There are many better movies in this genre of Cult-Horror... and what I mean by "Cult-Horror" is a horror movie that deals with cults, not a cult film, that is more of an underground type of film that certain types of hipsters and stoners like.

Anyway, I think there are better films out there, but this one isn't terrible. It's better than Reaper or Space Thunder Kids, and, honestly, as long as a film doesn't go out of its way to piss me off, I can't say that it should never be watched.

Movie Appraisal: The Blair Witch Project (1999)

So, here we are: The Blair Witch Project, one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. This movie, when I first saw it, made me absolutely terrified of the woods. I still can't go into the woods without a flashlight, a compass, and a whole lot of courage... and I always need to know where I'm going or else I start freaking out.

I saw this movie for the first time when I was ten or maybe eleven and it scared me so badly I thought I'd never sleep again. There are very few movies I find frightening, but this one has always stuck in my mind as an uncomfortable example. I own this movie, but I've only ever watched it once almost ten years ago or more... Maybe I'll try to watch it tonight and see what...

Oh no...!

I'm lost in the woods and I can't find my way out!
I'm so scared. Help me! I need to get out! I want to live!
Oops... nope, I just became entangled in my blanket and the darkness started to get me a little scared as I typed in the dark... I guess it happens, you know? Getting running in the woods with a laptop confused with being caught in your blankets with a laptop. It happens and so help me, you'd better believe it happens.

Um... where was I?

I don't remember much of this movie honestly. I only remember at the time it made me very uncomfortable and that I never really knew what happened in that last scene. You know which one. I should go back and watch it and make an edit to this review later...  or maybe not... You'll never know!

Or maybe you will. Whichever really.

But seriously, this is a good movie, probably a little over-hyped and I know a lot of people don't like it... but I think it's pretty neat, so I say you should go check it out. If you like the woods and three college students, you can't go wrong... plus, it started a whole brand of film-making with the actors being the ones to film what's going on. That's pretty neat! (Although I hate most of those films...) Yeah... pretty neat indeed.