Insomnia: An Analysis (Also Solway Firth Space Man)

Well, I guess this will be a bit different. Do you see that picture up there? Do you know what that is? That's the Solway Firth Space Man picture. It's an interesting picture that was taken of a young girl, and in the background there appears to be a space man. I'm going to diagram where the space man is, just in case you're blind and can't see him or something. And if you're blind, why are you on the internet? Seriously, stop reading my blog and go get a cane or a woofdog or something because you can't read the internet and it's making me feel weird because I'm being weirdly antagonistic about this, and you won't be able to feel up my diagram of the Solway Firth Space Man.

Well, there he is. That... well, it certainly looks to me to be something kind of odd. I guess it could be a space man... or some kind of inflatable blow up doll. What makes this even stranger is that the boy's father, who took the picture, claimed that there were no space men behind the boy. So, yeah... pretty odd, wouldn't you say?

I'm not one for conspiracy theories or believing some weird and crazy crud about stuff that has much easier explanations, but I love this kind of stuff. it's so fascinating to find something that either could be a legitimate mystery or one of the weirdest, most random hoaxes of all time. I mean, I love stories like this. There are a lot of them, certainly. Hell, I might even talk about some, although my sources may not be the most accurate, which I apologize about in advance if I do more of these. This one I did some pretty simple research on and kind of know the story from memory because I liked it so much.

Hell, I just wanted to use the picture for my preface to my insomnia rant, but I guess that's as good a place to write about as any. I guess I'm going to get a little personal with you readers. I'm going to tell about something personal to me and hopefully one or two of you might understand what the hell I'm talking about.

I suffer from insomnia. Now, insomnia is usually a symptom of something else, sometimes depression, boredom, stress, or being overworked, but I tend to find that my insomnia is not a symptom at all. I have been to doctors about this, and most have told me very simply that I don't require as much sleep as others do. My brain is wired differently. Okay. It's rational. I'm a biology major. I know my medical science decently well. Everybody's brain is wired differently even if most of the chemicals are the same... but... how could mine get messed up this badly? I mean, yeah, there are some people out there who I've heard research about, saying that they sleep an hour a night or some incredibly low number like that, and are the HAPPIEST PEOPLE in the world. Now, let me tell you something... lack of sleep does not make you happy. I'm rarely tired, but actually happy that I can't sleep? No. Yes, I might get more done. I might accomplish more than your average person who sleeps six to eight hours a night, but the lack of company and the loneliness certainly makes up for any time that I gain by not sleeping.

And I call doctors out here. Sleeping pills are terrible things that should only be used under the worst cases where a person can't sleep and needs to be able to sleep. I like doctors. I believe in doctors, but sleep is a strange thing. It is not well understood in the same way that most areas of the brain, although possibly mapped, are not quite understood either. Sleep is a bit of an enigma and no real argument has come forth by why sleep is even needed. Besides for rest but that argument is almost tautological wouldn't you say?

I guess my point here is that I'm the only person I know who sleeps rarely and suffers so chronically from the little to no sleep I receive almost every night. I don't have people I can go and start hanging out with and talking to who are also not sleeping. I can't spend time talking with my girlfriend or best friend who love their sleep. I'm mostly alone, sometimes writing, sometimes reading, sometimes doing nothing at all but watching a movie, playing a video game, or just simply trying to sleep. But the sleep won't come.

I sleep, on average somewhere between two to five hours a night. That's a running average and sometimes it's much less. For the last month I've been sleeping on average about an hour or two a day, if that. Pair that with fairly horrid nightmares because REM sleep comes that much easier on little to no sleep, it causes a fairly unenjoyable experience in general. Now, don't get me wrong, maybe there are some very screwed up people out there who take joy in the fact that they can be alone all night and day and sleep half as much, or a third as much as other people and still function and everything... maybe they even find comfort in the fact that they are so awesome about this stuff! But they're wrong. Sleep is something that is needed for the body to retain information, for the mind to find a functional way to shut itself down for a while, and for some many other needed processes. And yet, insomnia remains.

Most of the people I know who have suffered from it, tend to gain weight because they don't do anything and they eat a ton. Depression will do that to you. I work out when I can't sleep and don't tend to eat more than I would otherwise, which can be good or bad depending on exactly what I mean by that. I do try to do things, and, yes, I do like having a bit more time in my day to get things done, but am I happy I cannot find the same joy in sleep that others can? Am I happy that the loneliness only seems to get worse as I get older? Am I happy that while a person only thinks they're tired, I've touched the face of exhaustion by sleeping less than anybody I've ever known, maybe even most of the people I've ever heard of? I can't say that it makes me proud, or happy, or anything but tired in the end.

Insomnia, is some ways, is a curse, even while others would say that it is a gift. Try it some day and see how you feel. Three days without sleep and start counting. Five days. Seven. Ten. It breaks you down, makes you lose. Two hours a night and you're always tired. One and you can barely function. Five and you simply want more that you cannot find.

So, that's what I think about insomnia. I've had it my entire life, even as a freaking baby. I never slept, never really needed to, but always wanted to. It's tough, dealing with all of that, and I can sympathize with anybody who has the same issues. I'm writing this at 5:40AM after literally not sleeping for almost three days straight. So, if I seem bitter or simply done with the insomnia, you know why.

Sleep well, I guess, good readers, because if you can, take that as a gift, and if you can't, hopefully you can find a way.

Stuff Analyses: Horror Art and Urban Exploring

This is a picture of a supposedly haunted painting called "The Hands Resist Him". It was painted in 1972 by artist, Bill Stoneham of Oakland, California. I'm not going to go insane and spill out every fact or speculation about this work. If you want that go look the painting up on Wikipedia or something. I'm going to tell you what I think about this work and a few other forms of horror art that I've seen and either enjoy or find absolutely terrifying. I know in a lot of my recent reviews I've spoken of a lot of the horror and enjoyment I get from the genre of horror comes from imagery and the way things look or are described, and that's incredibly true, which is why I find horror art so fascinating and so awesome. I don't have the talent to be an artist and paint awesome stuff, but I will say that I truly wish I could have that talent. So, I'm going to show off some different works from different people and explain what I think. I'll be reviewing, in a word. Oh, here's a closer view of "The Hands Resist Him" just so you can see that this is a fairly creepy painting:
I'm guessing it all looks very creepy. When I first saw this painting I kind of freaked out a little. It reminded me of something viscerally terrifying and I wasn't comfortable with that. I've seen the painting often since that first viewing and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but there is still something uncomfortable about... something off or wrong or something. It just feels like it shouldn't exist... or maybe simply that it shouldn't be seen by human eyes.

Now, I'll get to some other things. That is a photograph taken by myself. Anyway, I took this awesome and creepy photograph while my girlfriend and I were urban exploring not very long ago. For those of you who might not know what urban exploring is, it's simply exploring places that are either abandoned or condemned. I'm going to write a disclaimer here and tell all of you not to do it because it could be dangerous or stupid and most of the time it's probably against the law. So, take that as you will. Anyway, urban exploring is fascinating because you get to see what a building looks like once humans aren't in it anymore and nobody is taking care of it. These old buildings are hollowed out husks ripe for animals, zombies, ghosts, and ax-murders... and probably hobos... but yeah... Anyway, while urban exploring my girlfriend and I saw many things, some creepy, some weird, and some just downright scary. That hallway above, although in black and white, was seriously very dark. We never saw or found the end of it. On the opposite side of the room (Picture this in your heads, children.) there was another long, dark hallway as well, which I'll show with my own picture again:
This hallway was incredibly dark, which is kind of hard to see since I was using my flash on my camera, but imagine all of that, but pitch black, then you can start imaging just how terrifying it can be. So, there were two of these hallways with a door in between them. Both were underground and about as dark as anything could be, and I just seriously thought that Pyramid Head was going to run up to me and start hacking at me with his great knife... It was so awesome, I can't even say how awesome it was. Also, I am going to say that my girlfriend is a much better photographer than I am (Mostly I specialize in taking videos. That's what I enjoy.) and she has some fantastic photos from our excursion up online, so I'm going to plug her webpage shamelessly, because she is crazy talented and her stuff really brings out the imagery much better than any of my own photographs ever could, and since this is a critique on art and stuff, I figure that I could say how much I enjoy her art and you could all look at it yourselves and enjoy it too.

There are plenty of other horror artists out there, but I really don't care about most of them... not that they don't do good art, but moreover that it just doesn't appeal to me anywhere near as much. I like art that has a history to it or something behind it (usually psychological and if you want more psychological art go back and look over the Pyramid Head pictures I posted or wait until I review Jacob's Ladder.

Yup.

Stuff Analysis: Latin

Yes, I'm back and ready to talk about important things. This time I'm going to talk about one of the most important things that the world has ever known: Latin.

Now, I'm sure you're going to say something like, "Saquarry, Latin isn't important and you're a moron." Well, I'm going to disprove both points. Latin is important and I am not.

Latin is a language used in the Roman Empire around the height of their power. It is a bit of an amalgamation between a few other languages of the ancient world, namely Etruscan and Greek. It has way too many similarities to Greek to be coincidental. I kind of think that Latin is to Greek as English is to Latin. So much of English grammar is taken from the Latin (through the French) instead of the German roots that English has. Well, Latin is the same way except it used Ancient Greek as its inspiration.

The main problem with that is that Latin has no accents or any real stresses on particular words unlike Greek, so Latin poetry which runs on meter can be very difficult to understand. It makes no sense unless one also happens to know Ancient Greek.

Latin is my favorite language though. Now, I'm sure you're saying, "Saquarry, why do I care abotu what your favorite language is?" Well, you don't, but that's not the point. The point is that Latin is fun and interesting and not s easy as most people think.

Currently I'm translating Passio Sanctarum Perpetuae et Felicitatis which is an account of two female saints in the early church. Always interesting, I suppose, but also incredibly difficult. Here's a bit of Latin that gave me particular headaches:

sed uiderint qui unam uirtutem Spiritus unius Sancti pro aetatibus iudicent temporum, cum maiora reputanda sunt nouitiora quaeque ut nouissimiora secundum exuperationem gratiae in ultima saeculi spatia decretam.

Could you understand a word of that? Yeah... not easy, is it?

Anyway, Latin has a lot to teach us and I feel that ever since the Catholic Church stopped using it in their masses and schools started focusing on languages that were not dead languages the world has literally gone to hell. So, bring back Latin and stop screwing the world over, you stupid idiots.