Movie Appraisal: Pacific Rim (2013)

Hey everybody! So, last weekend I went to see Pacific Rim with my normal theatre viewing crew. We had planned this out for a good long while and were all looking forward to it quite a bit. We went to a midnight showing since any other time wouldn't have worked out for us, and we excitedly waited for the movie to get rolling. Also read this review at your own risk!

We had no previews in our showing, and the movie didn't quite fit the screen which was fairly disappointing. Other than those things, the movie viewing experience was amazing. It is the best of its genre, hands down. I mean, there is no other way to even compare it to other movies. The actions scenes are wonderful, the human elements are actually meaningful and fun, and the CGI is both necessary and incredibly well done.

Come on, look at how awesome this thing looks!

I loved the designs of both the Kaiju (the big goddamn monsters) and the Jaeger (the big goddamn mechs). They worked incredibly well and felt amazingly large. The sense of scale was monumental, something I haven't felt in a theatre since the first time I saw The Fellowship of the Ring and watched the huge statues in that movie go by the fellowship while they were floating by in tiny boats. This movie makes the Kaiju and the Jaegers feel realistically huge. It was so cool.

And yeah, this movie has a lot to do with being cool. It is an experience. The music, the sound, the visuals, and the human stories- they are all experiences within the movie. No, the plot is not new. It's actually pretty cliched and can be easily predicted, but that doesn't mean it hasn't perfected its story. The Kaiju are the perfect antagonists, both alien and immensely terrifying. They have both a strength and a power that a normal person cannot even hope to overcome.

I'm a big damn mech, and I'm going to punch monsters from the depths of Hell.
Pleased to meet you.

It's a story about struggle and survival in an apocalyptic situation. It's also about teamwork (since the Jaegers require two people to make them run) and about just a great time in general. It's a movie that made me smile ear-to-ear more than once. It's also a movie that made me feel a cold sting of mortality at times as well. There are some very dark moments to go with the fun of them movie. And the moments that feel immense also can feel soul-crushingly sad as well.

When the Russian and Chinese Jaeger pilots die, it is a terrible thing. I felt their deaths in a way I rarely feel the deaths of characters within a movie. And these a re characters with no speaking lines either! With a very limited amount of screen time. Guillermo del Toro is that much of a master of his craft. He can make you feel something for characters who are background at best.

The fights are superb, hitting all the right strides and all the right moments. There are enough things that both the Jaeger and the Kaiju do to shake the fights up as well. I mean, suddenly the Jaegers have swords. Suddenly the Kaiju has an EMP. Suddenly there is a rocket elbow. Suddenly the freaking Kaiju has WINGS. All these elements work to make it just a wonderfully entertaining film, full of amazing moments, cool characters, and neat set-pieces.

The background stuff is really interesting as well. I mean both the background of this universe and the scenery itself. Both tell more of the story than the dialogue and characters ever could. It just feels so awe-inspiring. Ever person who is or was a little kid at one point playing with toys and ramming them against one another to fight will understand why this movie is one of the best movies out there period.

Yes, there are negatives. The lack of female characters (although I know I'll be called out on that by someone, just give it time) and some of the sillier things of the movie were a little annoying, but for the most part it is an incredibly fun ride. Easily one of the best movies I've seen in theatres in a long time. I suggest everybody watch this big damn movie. The script, music, and everything else are so awesome that the movie deserves your money and time, it really does.

How can you not love a man who looks like this?

Also, Ron Perlman and his character of Hannibal Chau are crazy awesome. I love that character so much. Also, the two science guys are great as well, and don't even take away from the big story of mechs and monsters punching one another. Is it a dumb movie at times? Sure, I guess. But just because it's a movie about things punching other things doesn't mean it can't be brilliant as well.

Serious recommendation. If you haven't seen it, go and see it!

Also, Hannibal Chau's shoes, because the detail is awesome!

Video Game Assessment: BioShock Infinite (2013)

Hello all!

Now this is going to be a spoiler-filled review, analysis, and interpretation of BioShock Infinite. Don't say I didn't warn you, and don't read on without heeding that warning. I have some ideas that will probably prove to be unpopular, but since I've never personally seen them raised, and I've played the game four times, I think I have very valid reasons to raise them myself.

Anyway...

It starts with a lighthouse.

And what is a lighthouse? A way to keep pesky travelers away. A warning. And what happens when one fails to heed a warning? I think that the answer must be: nothing good at all.

There's always a man.

But he barely matters. He's simply a man. Nothing more. Kind of generic really.

And there's always a city.

Columbia in this case. A city in the clouds. Kind of like Cloud City on Bespin except... uh... not centralized.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We have to start at the beginning or we're never going to get anywhere. So, let's begin.

What is this video game?

BioShock Infinite is a multi-faceted, complex, and brilliant game brought to us by the developer Irrational Games and Publisher 2K Games. It is a follow-up (or spiritual sequel) to BioShock and BioShock 2, which in turn are spiritual sequels and homages to the old System Shock games. Everybody knows that. It's a tired thing to say, but I have to start somewhere.

I personally can't stand BioShock. Not this game, we'll get to my feelings on this game later, but the first BioShock was a game I really did not enjoy in any sense of that word. It called itself  horror game, but had no horror. It attempted to parse Objectivism, but only ever touched the surface. It tried to create a new kind of narrative, but only fell on its face. My opinion on that game is fairly negative. It was one of my least favorite games that I actually bought in this gaming generation (alongside Alan Wake and possibly Mass Effect 3). I can't think of anything besides the stunning visuals and designs that I actually liked about the game. And the end of that game is one of the worst fetch-quest things I've ever seen in a non-JRPG. So, I don't have fond memories of BioShock, so much so that I had no further interest in the series.

BioShock 2 came out. I never played it, never even cared to play it. I heard it was more BioShock, a tired sequel in a generation of tired sequels. I didn't care. I was done with the series. A horror series that isn't horror that thinks it's more intelligent than it actually is? Yeah, not my cup of tea. And when the teasers and trailers started coming out for Infinite, I simply let them pass right over my head. How could I care about a series I never liked? And what did it matter that it would have nothing *really* to do with the other games? All I saw was fluffy pretty nonsense.

And I wasn't interested.

I didn't care.

Then a beacon, a light from across the sky. A review and a damn good one at that. Adam Sessler posted a video review that drew me in, and made me need to play this game. I hadn't had any inkling of interest before this, but in that moment, on the Tuesday this game came out, I knew I needed it. The game was my lighthouse, and I was like a moth to its brilliant light. I bought it, and I played.

I saw the true face of what brilliance could be.

And I was glad.

But I'm not talking about the game yet, about the rowboat, about the barely understood conversations with what seem like two crazy people, about the lighthouse, the mystery, and on, and on, and on ad infinitum...

It wasn't just that the game was brilliant. The game also touched on things never brought up in video games, played with ideas that were always left rotting in the attic of a creator's brain. It wasn't just that the game was intelligent. It was that the story was saying something other than: go shoot this, go save the damsel, and go get the reward. It was a deconstruction to be sure (and I love those), but one without pretext. And certainly one that didn't seem that way from the outset. It is a game that ages well with time and playthroughs, being confusing the first time through, and gaining traction with every subsequent journey through Columbia and its avenues.

I'm not going to waste your time and mine saying what people have already said. Go read other reviews if you want to hear dull praises and claps on the back for this game. It's a great game. Hell, in some ways and to some people it is goddamn near-perfect. It is for me. But saying that does not make it so. Yes, the visuals are stunning. Yes, the gameplay is like some crazy high-octane roller coaster ride. Yes, the narrative is good. Yes, Elizabeth is a wonderful character. But those are empty statements without something to back them up.

While the visuals are stunning, there is nothing in them that makes or breaks this game. Yes, pretty graphics can be fun, but this game could have easily been another BioShock if it didn't have more than just pretty things to fall back onto. Columbia is a gorgeous world, but the visual porn will always be there. it doesn't go away, but is also frankly one of the worst and weakest parts of the game. And that should be read as elevating the other parts of the game, not denigrating the visuals. Columbia is gorgeous, and it only looks better the longer the game goes on. The character designs get better with time, the enemies become more compelling, with larger enemies having more unique designs, and even the smaller ones looking more interesting.  The absolute high point for visuals in the game would be after the final battle when Columbia is nothing more than a memory, but that could just be me.

The gameplay is unique, interesting, and fun. Yes, it is also kind of generic with guns in one hand and magic powers in another, but so many other games do the same that there is really no way I can complain about this doing what others also do. It would be a ridiculous argument. Some of the fights are pretty well scripted, but I think that works in the game's favor, having amazing areas in which to fight rather than tiny corridors. People have complained about the combat... and I have no idea why. What is annoying about this combat that isn't annoying about other FPS games? I get tired hearing about complaints without any merit. Let's call it personal preference. Or maybe those people were caught up in the hype and it didn't deliver the experience they expected and wanted. Or maybe PC gamers are a fickle crowd and like to be annoyed at everything. I don't know. All I can say is that I liked the combat quite a bit. The gameplay was fresh and exciting, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. This is not a horror game (all that much) so why not have some adventurous fun while playing? The sky-hooks are brilliantly fun. Yes, they put you on rails, but rails can be a ton of fun. I loved ninja-ing down on unsuspecting enemies. I could do that all day long. And my favorite part was smacking people with my sky-hook. Man, that was viscerally incredible.

I really think that way too many people talk about gameplay like it's the entire game. I've heard some even say that bad gameplay can kill a game. No. No, it can't. Games have evolved. They are not simply Mario jumping around for a princess or Tetris blocks needing to match up. Games are not just about fighting. How can they be with narratives, characters, and everything else besides filling up the game with so much else? This game has a perfect balance between combat and rest. I wish every game could be like that. It reminds me of Half-Life 2 without physics puzzles. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I'm also very forgiving when it comes to gameplay. I loved the original Deadly Premonition and was okay with its frankly godawful combat. So, full disclosure, I guess. Bad gameplay has never turned me off of a game. And it never will. Then again, I'm also good at video games. So, take that as you will.

Something seldom spoken of in videos games is the music and sounds. This game does music and sounds better than any game I've ever played before. The music is near-brilliant, with many anachronistic 1912 covers of radically different songs through time, from Tears for Fears "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. And they're all so good and so worth listening to and being surprised by. The sounds are great as well- everything from vocal work (the Luteces are amazing, Elizabeth is the female voice to be compared against now, etc.) to what characters say, not only in their environment but also on the voxophones. There is an essence to the words and voices in this game that gives the whole thing credence. The rebellion plot in the story is greatly increased by such amazing vocal work. Seeing a Handyman lying killed in the streets, only to find that he still kept a voxophone of his wife telling him that she loved him? That's heartwrenching and beautiful, especially when the existential question of what they are comes up in the game as well.

The voxophones are an interesting way of giving us the backstory of the game. Yes, BioShock did it as well, but much less satisfyingly in my opinion. Perhaps it's the vocal talent here, or all the alternate universes, but I found what was going on in the background much more compelling throughout this game. I even found it more compelling than pieces of our own narrative. Saying that, I also loved listening to people on the street talking, saying weird and oddly racist things at times. It made it all that much better. It made it all that much more an actual world. It drew me into itself that much more.

And does the narrative of the game matter? You better believe it. It's amazing, with twists, turns, and things that don't quite make sense. The ending, I'm looking at you here. But even the things that don't make sense still work. There are questions that still hang over the narrative, and that's a good thing. It makes the story more interesting, more ambiguous, and more likely to be interpreted many different ways. It leads to debate, and that's never a bad thing.

The ambiguity of the story and the ending is what I liked most about the game besides Elizabeth. Yes, the twists were fun. But not knowing what truly happens in the end is what made the game worth playing, and I guess my interpretation of the ending (which seems different from everybody else's) made me love this game. I'll get to it later, but yes, prepare to be upset with me. I'm sure I'll get yelled at for not getting it.

*sigh*

Anyway, Elizabeth is one of the best female characters in video games. Look, if you want to take anything away from this game that's good, it has to be that. She is a non-sexualized, non-damsel, non-escorted NPC, who can take care of herself, interact with you in so many different ways, and has an effect on the way you play the game. I'd compare her to Alyx from Half-Life 2 and its episodes, but Elizabeth is more a natural progression of that kind of character. It's amazing to see that in this day and age when everybody seems to hate women, especially in their video games, and the only women they seem to allow are huge-breasted and vapid wank material. I'm glad for Elizabeth's existence, for her equal status to Booker throughout the game, and for her even transcendence into something near-God-like. To me her progression as a character made the game for me. Seeing her change as she changed costumes, grow as the game grew, become more serious as our situation did, it was amazing. It was compelling. It gave me something to care about within the game, something to get attached to.

So, as the game goes on, and Booker gets involved in a rebellion, steals a girl from her "prison," sees what Comstock (the antagonist of the game) really is, and goes from rugged antihero to broken man, I was entranced. The story was paced so well. It made me care. It made me want to see what would happen next. I didn't want it to end. But it had to. And the ending was... controversial in my brain. I fought long and hard to come to a consensus about what I thought about it. Was it all happening at the end, with Booker and Elizabeth going through the lighthouses, seeing all the untold amounts of universes? Or was it simply another deconstruction?

The way I see it was that each other Booker and Elizabeth, every other lighthouse as well, they are all other games being played. Some perhaps by yourself, but some but other people entirely. The game can never truly change. The big moments always have to happen. But the small things can very easily change. Each and every game is different. But they all come to the same realization and the same ending. That's brilliant and sad. And it works so well. We go through the game seeing Elizabeth grow as a character, seeing her go from eating cotton candy and talking about childish things to openly wanting to murder her "father." But the biggest and most interesting part of the game is when we realize that we can never find another ending. There is no happy ending. Elizabeth cannot change her fate just as Booker cannot change his. What I find most compelling about the ending is that it is about failure.

Neither Booker nor Elizabeth win in the end because the game was rigged from the start. Things cannot change therefore our game never changes. Elizabeth can try a million times to save Booker and herself or kill Booker and herself, but the game keeps being played, and the failures, each and every game, will always happen. I don't know if Elizabeth is wrong about being able to fix it or if she just wants to end it right there. I don't know. Is she God at the end of the game or some equivalent? Or is she a terrifyingly sad young woman who thinks she knows what to do and cannot? Maybe she succeeds like most seem to think, but that is so far-fetched to me. Killing Booker does not kill Comstock even if they are the same person. Killing Booker does nothing but kill Booker. So, either she kills him for kicks, puts him in the role of a younger Booker, or kills him to make the failure complete. I will mention that if she can put Booker in the role of his younger self, than why not create an entirely new Booker? Or kill the Booker who always becomes Comstock after the choice is made? She chooses to kill the player character, the one who has protected her and cared for her throughout the game. There's a reason for that. And to me the reason is that there can never be a winning scenario. There can never be happily ever after. Some see the stinger at the end being the happy ending of Booker and Anna living happily ever after. I see it as a drunken Booker before the game begins forgetting that he already gave her away. Nothing changes. The game is always the same. And that is why it is very close to perfect.

I can compare it to NieR, another game about failure that I also loved. It is so good so often, and people hating it simply makes no sense to me unless they either don't care about narratives or they simply don't get it. I will never be okay with a person ragging on a game because the gameplay isn't their cup of tea. That is such a stupid reason to hate a narrative heavy video game. It gets to me, this slagging the game off, because I did find it so brilliant and so fun. I can't even see how others cannot also enjoy it unless they are suffering from anti-hype which is literally so stupid it actually makes me angry.

As for real concerns, why doesn't Booker break his legs when jumping off of the sky-rails? Why? Seriously. Portal had the explanation of long falls being okay because Chell has long fall boots. But Booker can die if he falls to far regularly. So, why doesn't he die when he jumps from a hundred feet up onto concrete? Don't even dare say magnetism. I will lose all my mind. Seriously, there is no explanation. It's kind of dumb, but that really stuck out to me.

I wish we could have more than two guns at a time as well. This is something others have brought up as well. I kind of get it from a realistic point of view, but from where I'm standing it just makes me use fewer types of guns and conserve the ammo for the guns I really like. I don't mind it amazingly, but it isn't the best decision ever.

As for other things I liked. Well, the sidequests were fine. The other characters in the narrative were great. The insane asylum interlude was one of the best pieces of a video game I've seen in years. That whole sequence was terrifying and compelling. It was simply so good. I love the murder of crows vigor too. Man, that was a ton of fun to use. And I really liked the multi-dimensional plot, where eventually you have no idea what reality even is anymore. I liked that a lot too. The Luteces were fantastic, characters that give the G-Man a run for original and interesting characters that have an otherworldly presence.


And that's that for the review. There are probably a ton more things I could say, but... nah... not really. I made my big points. I might do a podcast on it eventually if I get the need to talk about it more. I have a few other things to just mention about this blog in general.

I'm mostly just glad to finally be posting stuff again. Over a month hiatus is quite long enough for me. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, with fifty+ hour work weeks (my job is exhausting and I work six days a week), a long-distance relationship (and I'll be getting engaged soon), and trying to actually sleep some days, I basically haven't had a ton of time or energy to update this blog. I apologize for that, I really do. I'm going to try to update more often, but... I doubt my schedule will change, but I'm intensely trying to push myself to bring some content out. It may be a bit more scattered, but I'm going to try.

I do have many different reviews I'm planning, and October (although months away) is very much on my mind for my next 31 reviews. Anyway, the next Goosebumps/Fear Street review might be coming soon hopefully. And my next game review will hopefully be coming out in a few weeks at latest. I hope everybody is okay with me not putting out as much content as before. This blog will always update, it simply might be slower than usual from now until my schedule frees up a bit.

Goosebumps Review: Monster Blood

It's a monster blood drive!

This is the first Goosebumps book I've been afraid to open. I must have read it a great load of times because it has a very well worn cover and pages. This book was one of my favorites of the original run of Goosebumps, and I regard it and its sequels very fondly. Actually throughout the first dozen or so books this was always my favorite. I love the premise, the characters, the writing, and what happens throughout. While never explicitly terrifying, the sci-fi and "magical" elements of the book are all really part of its appeal.

Monster Blood was released in September 1992, the same month of the release of the next book I'll review as well.

While the first book was a bit of a miss for me and the second was surprisingly good, this one hit the mark exactly. It is both very well done and never boring. Some elements of it could have been more concise and less hand-wavy, but the story works in general. I liked the idea of a mysterious substance ultimately ending up as both something harmful and truly unnerving. I mean, I can't even imagine what I would do or think if a substance I bought just starting growing and changing consistency without warning. I'd probably freak out and act much like these two kids did, plopping it into multiple containers and hoping for the best.

Anyway, the main characters are one of the strengths of this book. Andy and Evan are basically the stars of the book here and of the series as a whole. They pop back up in the next three sequels to Monster Blood, and are about as likable and amazing as protagonists can be in this series. They are believable as kids of twelve or so and work really well. Andy (Andrea) especially always worked well. The way all of what she's wearing is described every time she's shown really gave her a personality well beyond what any dialogue could. Sure, she's quirky and tomboyish and fun. And being able to give her that kind of character worked really well in establishing something about her beyond the mundane. Evan is also well established, being sarcastic and a little whiny, certainly not the perfect hero, but one who works in the book anyway. Kathryn, Sarabeth, the twins are also well done here even though they appear in none of the other books as far as I remember. Sarabeth works well as the villain without any reason or care. Kathryn, the great-aunt who doesn't care, is both intimidating and a question mark throughout the book. And the twins are the first real bullies we get to see in Goosebumps, a theme that will become more and more pronounced throughout the books.

I like that the protagonist is thrown into an awkward and foreign situation from the first page. I like how that leads to all of the problems. I guess I should tell the plot? I don't know. It's simple. So, Evan Ross is left with his great-aunt as his parents try to find a house in another state. Evan is alone with her, she's deaf and refuses to learn any real way of communication. Evan brings his dog Trigger as well. Eventually he meets Andy and they strike a friendship up. They go to an old toy store, buy some Monster Blood "SURPRISING MIRACLE SUBSTANCE," and begin playing around with it. It's just some bouncing goo at first, but after a day seems to become sticky and awful, growing and changing as time goes by. Evan's dog eats some of it, which can't be healthy, and starts growing himself too! Well, this can't do. Andy and Evan try to figure out what to do, only to learn that the Monster Blood is seemingly hungry as well, pulling things inside of it. As it grows, it finally gets out of its containment and goes after them, reaching a final confrontation where Evan's great-aunt's cat, Sarabeth, is the mastermind of a spell put on the Monster Blood and is looking to murder the children because "they know too much" even though they really don't know anything and probably wouldn't know a single thing if this cat-lady had just not been evil and ready to murder them. You know? Hospitality among cat-ladies is really awful today. Well, she ends up being eaten up by the Monster Blood and disappears for... reasons. And everything's good after that. Yup. Obviously there will never be a single sequel to this because it was all a spell by a lady who no longer exists. Right?

Right?

...?


Well, we'll wait to answer that until book 18.

Specifically that book.

I wonder why...

*Cough*Cough*

So, yeah, the book works pretty well at being coherent and quick, but surprisingly well put together too. The characters are so good here and the plot isn't too shabby either. Out of the first three books this is easily my favorite. It explores heavy subjects as well, just like the first two tried to do. Moving seems to be a surprisingly common theme, mostly because there are certainly people who have to move around, and, for a child, it must be difficult to cope with those moves. The fear and terror of moving and dealing with it is kind of within the books as well, the plot basically reinterpreting what it means to move to somewhere new. Or maybe that's just me over-thinking things.

This book takes on the subtheme of bullying and what that means much like how Welcome to Dead House deals with what moving to a new town does to a young kid. Evan and his family are also moving, but the move to a new place is never important to Evan like it was to Amanda in Welcome to Dead House. Hell, he hardly mentions it at all besides stating that's what's going to happen. The bullying though is a pretty main theme, with the twins not only bullying and hurting Evan, but also doing the same to Andy, nearing concussing her against a sidewalk while they steal her bike for a joyride. There is something sickening about the characters of the twins. Their utter inhumanity and eventual cowardice really say a great deal about bullying in general. I think this subtheme is wonderful and really shows a clear difference between those who are picked on and those who do the picking. The most shocking thing is when Andy is hurt. But almost as shocking is Evan being beaten to a pulp by them. Yes, I know Monster Blood's main plot has literally nothing to do with this theme, but I think it's way too important not to discuss. The kids reading these books would almost surely identify with the victims (I may be profiling here, but seriously, I used to be one of those kids, I think I have a good idea about this.), and see the bullies as awful people. I guess I like how it's handled. I like how Evan deals with it. And I like how the bullies get their comeuppance.

Monster Blood. Well, I don't really know how four (five?) books are made about this substance. This could have been a standalone book, and I would have been fine with that. I hate to admit this, but my memory of the other Monster Blood books is pretty spotty. While I remember this book well, and perhaps the beginning of the second book too, none of the others have stuck in my mind at all. I assume because they are simply not as... uh... not as good as this one. Then again I might eat my words when I get to them. We'll see...

I liked this book a great deal as a kid. It was one of my favorites in general of the series, like I mentioned, but it also had some of the more memorable moments of the books. I really liked the characters, Evan's sense of abandonment, and the friendship between Andy and Evan. Those things all worked so well here, and Monster Blood makes other books pale in comparison to its absolute brilliance at times. There is a great deal to praise here, and I do wish that every book could be this good. Well, there are some things to mention, mostly small things, but...

Okay, so one of my big questions: Why does the old toy shop close up inexplicably? I'm not sure I understand that detail. It had obviously been open for a very long time, then suddenly the owner sells the Monster Blood to Evan and closes shop? Was he not doing a good business? Did he die? I mean, as far as we know the Monster Blood's properties were specifically created by Sarabeth because she's a witch or something. So, did she kill the proprietor because she wanted to trick Evan? Or am I seriously missing something here? I just have no real answer. I guess it could have been a coincidence, but in horror like this I don't believe in coincidences. So, it's a problem that doesn't wrap up nicely or easily.

This is also the first cover that really has nothing to do with the contents within. Look at that book cover by Tim Jacobus. That never happens in the book. I have no idea if any of the characters even wear glasses. I don't think any do. So, unlike Stay Out of the Basement where that scene could have happened because plant-dad did happen or Welcome to Dead House where the house did exist, this cover never actually happens. It always struck me as odd, but I know things like this happen all the time. I'll continue to pay attention to covers and talk details. None of the covers have been particularly striking yet, but some are certainly brilliant eventually (or really baffling), and I'll be sure to speak about them at length when they come.

So, the last thing I want to speak of is a relationship between characters. Evan and Andy seriously have one of the best relationships in any of the Goosebumps books or series. I have no idea why, but their friendship works incredibly well. I'm pretty sure back when I was twelve I might have acted similarly to girls I liked. Or liked if that should be highlighted. Anyway, I like their dynamics and am looking forward to the other books with them together.

This book gets a good rating from me. It's a great read for an older or younger person to read. It works well even if some questions are left lingering in your mind. It doesn't really easily set up a sequel, but I can understand how this book became popular enough to warrant some when only one other book in the first ten books of the series did (The Night of the Living Dummy) (I have no idea if there are other more recent sequels now though.). Anyway, I highly recommend this one, and I look forward to more.

The next book up is the sequel to the first Fear Street review I did, Cheerleaders: The Second Evil.

Fear Street Review: Cheerleaders: The First Evil

When the cheers turn to screams...

"Give me a D-I-E!"

So, here we are at our first R. L. Stine teenage book released in August 1992 called Cheerleaders: The First Evil. Unlike the Goosebumps books these really weren't for kids at all. Now, that didn't stop me from reading them when I was very young, but it is a fact. These are pretty creepy even for an adult to read. They are not baby books for babies, but I don't think any of these R. L. Stine books are. They all have that little special piece of horror that most books, especially those made and written for kids and teenagers, seem to be missing. And how ballsy must it have been for R. L. Stine to actually write these books for teenagers at all? I mean, look at the teenage books that are popular today- supernatural romance, vampires, werewolves, supernatural romance, fantasy romance, romance, and maybe a little fantasy for the adventurous. But that's about it. You don't get horror books written for teenage audiences anymore, and certainly not horror books for teenage girls starring teenage girls! That's insane! That's just crazy!

And yet here it is- a book that involves no romance elements written for teenagers- specifically teenage girls- that is good in every way. Well, saying this book is good is underplaying the quality. It is an excellent book, standing up to my memory in every single way. I remember this being one of the best R. L. Stine books and series around, and it certainly didn't disappoint me thus far.

I know that a story centered around cheerleaders seems like it would probably make a pretty uninteresting book, but it really works amazingly well. One can relate to the characters, the situation therein, and the emotions. The horror, very vague for most of the book- more similar to paranoia and regular high school drama than actual horror- really hits a stride that I haven't seen equaled in many other horror books at all.

"When you jump up, everyone can see your underpants."

The story begins in such an innocuous way and goes to very dark places. It begins in an almost typical Goosebumps fashion- a prank set upon a younger sibling. The lead character, Bobbi, and her sister, Corky, set up a prank on their younger brother. They plan to scare him with a fake rat, succeed, and enjoy the evil of their deed. This works so well at establishing their characters. They become strong from the get-go, each with her own personality, and each with her own establishing moment. Corky is the younger one, in Bobbi's shadow more than likely, but not caring all that much about it. Bobbi is the perfect one, the more mischievous one, and the one who the story follows around. They are both new to the town of Shadyside (where the Fear Street books take place) and are looking to try out for the cheerleading squad even though it's a bit late in the season for that. But they're good, and it shows. They're given a chance, and the story kicks off.

Is it about cheerleading though? No, not really. You could substitute any high school activity into here and get the same results. Drama club, football, chess club, etc. It doesn't really matter since high school kids will be themselves in the end. The cheerleading squad works well though because of what they have to do, because of the trust they need to have, and because of the utterly non-horrific imagery associated with cheerleaders.

"Jennifer's startled scream was drowned out by the squeal of the skidding tires.

By the crunch of metal.

By the shatter of glass." 

The sisters are allowed onto the squad to their elation because of their obvious talent. The problem is that things go wrong quickly. Kimmy, one of the cheerleaders, does not like the sisters at all and seems bent on turning the other girls against them. Jennifer, the captain, seems able to keep everybody together- but then an accident. The bus they are traveling on to get to a game crashes, Jennifer gets hurt, so much so that she is thought dead, fallen on top of the tombstone of "SARAH FEAR." She awakens, but is paralyzed, and a new captain is to be chosen.

The book has a limited third person narration. It follows around certain characters' thoughts. Though it mostly focuses on Bobbi's own thoughts, Corky's, Kimmy's, and Jennifer's are also seen. While Bobbi is the main character, it becomes very obvious that the whole plot is much larger than her. Corky is largely forgotten in the background, just another girl in the shadows as Bobbi's teenage life goes through its moments. A boy, Chip (the football quarterback himself no less!), asks Bobbi out, she is chosen as the new cheerleading captain, and everything seems to be going her way.

And yet...

And yet.

"Everyone is watching me, Kimmy thought, forcing back the loud sobs that pushed at her throat. Everyone is feeling sorry for me."

One of my favorite aspects of this book is how right it gets the teenage mentality. Everything is in the moment. Each thought is hectic and pumped up and ultra-emotional. Both Bobbi and Kimmy act in emotional manners, both lashing out because of jealousy or anger or a million other little emotions that they cannot hide. This book gets it so right though. It hits that pitch-perfect feel of teenage and high school life. I can remember going to high school football games with my girlfriend at the time, watching the cheerleaders, feeling the charged atmosphere, and hearing the noise throughout the bleachers. And R. L. Stine captures that atmosphere perfectly, right down to every little description. The teenage life reminds me of those teenagers I used to know and those that are left behind in my memory- and it works- it works so well that it's scary.

I think that's the point really.

"He's dead, she thought.

It was so silent in the stadium. So unearthly silent.

We're all dead. All."

The narrative keeps going as Bobbi's new "boyfriend" freezes during a game. This comes back as she later freezes as well while trying (unsuccessfully) to catch a girl during a routine. And this all happens as her relationship is straining with the other girls on the squad, even her own sister. It seems like only Jennifer seems to have any time for Bobbi, but even that is- strange. Bobbi keeps seeing and sensing odd things. First some lockers seem to shut on their own, then she freezes and is completely unable to move, and then, finally, she sees a paralyzed Jennifer, in silhouette, seem to stride across her window.

This seems impossible, but she feels the need to believe her own senses. She tell Corky who thinks she's cracking, and they leave each other to sleep, both angry at the other.

"'Help me! I can't- breathe!'

She closed her eyes and covered her ears.

The roar didn't go away.

The pain didn't go away.

The roar grew louder.

Then all was silence."

The twist in this tale is that Bobbi, our lead, is the one to die. She dies, or is killed, in an incredibly gruesome fashion, drowning and being scalded to death all at once in the girl's locker room. This has always stuck in my mind as one of the creepiest and most descriptive deaths I read about in my early life. I can't say I enjoyed it, but the artistry and the writing are just so incredibly well done. To write a death that has stuck with me for well over a decade has to mean something. I always remembered this scene, was even looking forward to it in a sick kind of way.

I can't seem to remember a single other death in an R. L. Stine book, but this one sticks out so vividly, perhaps because of the twist that Bobbi was never the main character, she was never the one we were supposed to be following, and she was nothing more than a false protagonist. And something about that shattered the illusions that I had always known in my young mind. I no longer could trust the narrative or the author. I was tricked into a false sense of security. Surely nothing could happen to the lead character, nothing bad could befall that character, that would be silly.

And when something bad did befall Bobbi, I found myself a little shattered. I was shocked and upset. I didn't understand how this could happen. And I realized it could never be any better. In many ways this book introduced me to an adult narrative, a gave me a huge distrust of horror that has continued to this day.

"'Fear Street,' one of the policemen had said grimly, shaking his head. 'Fear Street...'" 

See, Corky figures it all out after Bobbi's death. She first thinks that Kimmy killed her after she noticed that she found Kimmy's pendant on the floor with Bobbi's stuff when she found Bobbi's body. but Kimmy had given the pendant to Jennifer, but poor paralyzed Jennifer couldn't-

Well, she could actually. She wasn't paralyzed. She wasn't anything. She had died in that bus accident and was possessed by the spirit of Sarah Fear... or something, it seems. Corky sees Jennifer walking, then driving, then dancing near Sarah's tomb. Corky confronts Jennifer, and after a few chapter long struggle, defeats her, leaving only a body of bones and dust behind, much to the confusion of literally everybody, police included. Although, it seems everybody knows something is wrong with Fear Street, but they're unable to do anything about it... 

The First Evil

Well, here we are, again through another R. L. Stine book. And what a great book this one is. It stood in my mind as a high point of horror in my young life, and it didn't disappoint. It is an excellent book from beginning to end. The characters are brilliant, each fleshed out in turn. The setting of the high school works well, and it is incredibly surprising just how right the details seem, even to me, who went to high school a decade after this book was released.

It is a horrifying book, one with creepy and incredibly descriptions. The deaths are so well detailed, and yet still left ambiguous, not gory exactly, but leaving a great deal to imagination. It still is a teen book, but the terror is a much older and thicker terror than that. It works so well that it has to be one of the very best R. L. Stine books out there. And I wouldn't be surprised if it is the best teenage horror book as well. 

I don't think this book will ever leave my mind. I've thought about it a lot in the years since the last time I read it, which was well over a decade ago. It is one of the few R. L. Stine books that comes back to me from time-to-time, and I have no clue why. Maybe it was because this was the first Fear Street book I read and therefore the first teen horror book I read as well? Maybe the descriptions were brilliant even to my much younger mind- or maybe it did truly scare me, and maybe it still does even today.

I can't help but recommend this book. It works so well at everything it does. It is incredibly well-written, well-paced, and well thought out. I can't think of a single negative- unless I include the slightly too quick ending and the lack of characterization of Corky. Then again... well, I know what's coming, so neither seem like huge flaws because of that.

Well, now I have a choice. Monster Blood and Cheerleaders: The Second Evil were both released in September 1992. I'm going to choose Monster Blood to review next to shake stuff up a bit, but realize that very soon we'll be hitting the sequel to the first Cheerleaders book...

Anyway, see you next time, readers.

Goosebumps Review: Stay Out of the Basement

Something's waiting in the dark...

Book number two of the Goosebumps series by R. L. Stine is an interesting one and one that started a couple trends among these books. Stay out of the Basement was first published, like Welcome to Dead House, in July 1992. It was the first of many Goosebumps books that would feature a mad scientist and the first of many that would, in my opinion, act as a young adult homage to famous sci-fi or horror movies/books. In this case the movie this book most resembles is The Fly, either version of it, with the genetic splicing and monstrous results. Even the ending seems to pay homage to those movies, particularly the older one with Vincent Price from 1958. I'm reminded of the iconic, "Help me! Help me!" from that movie in the ending to this book.

My memories of this one are all over the place. While it was never one of my absolute favorites, my copy of this book is well read. I remember having a good time with this book even if I didn't understand the references to The Fly back when I first read it. It had a creepiness to it that not many of the Goosebumps books seemed to equal. The funny thing is, for whatever reason, I remember the television version of this book almost as much as I remember the book itself. It is quite possibly the only book I can say that about.

This book certainly hits a much higher mark than the first and improves upon almost everything from Welcome to Dead House. While it may not quite be as gory or repulsive as that book, it is quite creepy, showing a paranoia about one's parent that I have not often seen before in any other book or piece of fiction. It almost seems to have a message that could read, "If your parent is doing something really weird and creepy and wrong, maybe it really is weird and creepy and wrong."

I was always struck by the way the dad in the book acted towards his kids. And I was confused that not more was done by the kids to do something about their nearly absent parental figure. I don't know, but I kind of figure this book was trying to say something even if it never quite had the message absolutely picked out.

Reading it through today, I found it really well done. If I were scoring this one compared to last week's Welcome to Dead House this one is not only improved in almost every way- its narrative, characters, setting, situation, and creepiness- but it also drew me in much more than that first book, which was always a weak one in my memory and seemed even weaker as I read it back. While I wasn't exactly excited to read this book, it was one I knew I wouldn't have any issues with getting through. I knew it wouldn't be a slog and, mostly, I knew it wouldn't be Welcome to Dead House. Sorry, but that was a book I simply do not think is very good at all.

"The dirt was filled with dozens of moving insects. And long, brown earthworms. All crawling through the wet, black clumps that lined her father's bed."

The plot here is pretty simple. Two kids, Margaret (the lead) and Casey (her younger brother), become curious as to what their dad is doing int he basement. He had been laid off from his previous job as a university botanist and for weeks had been toiling in the basement to find a way to get his job back with some experiments with plants. Obviously he is a scientist MAD with SCIENCE. And somehow he makes a weird genetic electronic thing that splices genetic material between organisms. His DNA gets spliced into a plant and vice-versa, and the plot kicks off.

While the kids' mother is away, things start going awry with their father's experiments. He starts acting weird, seems to be becoming a plant, and warns them from going into the basement. The title is even thrown out in dialogue within the first chapter of the story, something which I have to giggle about.  Well, anyway, the kids obviously have to be curious and not listen to their dad. They snoop around, get into some trouble, suspect him of lying and being a creepy plant-man, and ultimately find out that a plant has been imitating their father- but to what end? That we don't know. A lingering question I have is why did he kidnap his boss, Mr. Martinez? And why wouldn't the police be around questioning him about the man's disappearance since it was the last known place he had been? It's a question that seems to be shrugged away, but I was wondering it as I read the book.

Anyway, the book ends with a confrontation between the kids, their two dads, and their mother to figure out which one is the real one. Plant-dad is axed down and all seems well with the world- except that a flower seems to be screaming to Margaret that he is her actual father...

Live Plants... Dead People?

I realize, too late now, that the book also seems to reference Little Shop of Horrors. Okay, I didn't realize it too late. It's an obvious reference, but the plot doesn't seem to follow that plot so much as the plot of The Fly. Again, I'm probably a little wrong for not mentioning this sooner, but it's so obvious that I realized it was a reference back when I was ten. The problem is, it's only a surface reference, with the main plot being very different indeed.

This book is creepy. No, it's not the scariest Gossebumps book I remember, but it has both aged well and works well even today, especially at bringing out the feelings of paranoia- and even more especially in regards to a parental figure. Something about that seems incredibly well done to me, and something, I suspect, that could not be done today in quite the same way, which saddens me. It's upsetting to see that fiction can be influenced by the way the world is, but it's absolutely true. This is a book that could only exist in the 1990s.

All of the characters are fleshed out. They all feel real, and seem like they could live in a real, albeit twisted, world. The kids act and seem like kids that age, both curious and a little hyperactive. The dad is a workaholic and the mother's expressions in the early parts of the book seem to say just as much about her tension as it does about what the kid's perceive. It almost hits on the idea that work could put a strain on a marriage or on a relationship- which is essentially what this book is about already. I find that both intellectually stimulating and that it is amazing these things existed in a horror book for kids. 

The setting- winter in a warm climate- worked well too, although I couldn't exactly say why. Something about a time that is supposed to be bleak being like summer creeps me out, possibly because I grew up and live in New England, where there's no such thing as a warm winter. I guess the whole humidity and warmth thing works well for me, it is exactly what a greenhouse would feel like, and it's also what this book reads like, if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, while this is not one of the fondest remembered books of the Goosebumps library to me, it certainly works well now that I'm reading it as an adult. It is much better than Welcome to Dead House, and has excited me for more books. I mean, seriously, if a book I wasn't looking forward to made me this happy- then what will happen with the books I really am looking forward to?

So, the next book will be Goosebumps number 3-

-wait-

-no.

No, actually, Monster Blood will not be next even if it will be the next Goosebumps review. See, I mentioned I was going to do R. L. Stine books in some kind of chronological order- and while I don't own all of the Fear Street books like I used to (I didn't like a good portion of them, and sold them off half a decade ago, a thing I still don't regret.), I still have some that I was incredibly fond of back when I was a younger. Actually I read them alongside of the Goosebumps  books, so I find the way I'm reviewing these appropriate.

So, instead of Monster Blood, the next review that you can expect from me will be a Fera Street book. In particular I'm going to start my Fear Street Review series (of the eleven books I'm planning on reviewing from that series) with August 1992's Cheerleaders: The First Evil.

Goosebumps Review: Welcome to Dead House

It will just kill you.

Hey! Saquarry here. So, I'm starting up a new review series where I plan to review every Goosebumps book and books kind of or semi associated with that series or R. L Stine in general. This is quite the endeavor, I hope you understand, but it's something I've been wanting to do for years. And now I finally have the energy and the resources to see it through to the end. And when I say end, I do mean even the current stuff- eventually.

I'm going to review these books chronologically when they were published, so it may seem all over the place at times, but that's what I would like to do. I also have some teen R. L. Stine books I'd like to talk about at some point, most notably some of my favorite of the actual Fear Street books. But we'll get there. I'm excited for the possibilities and the reviews. For the most part I haven't read any of these books in about twelve years or so, but I still have them all from the original run of the series. Now, I may have to buy a couple, most notably in the Ghosts of Fear Street books (especially the later books int hat series which were nearly impossible for me to find back then) as well as some of the short story collection if I decide to do them.

Anyway, this whole review series will involve everything with the Goosebumps name, even the Give Yourself Goosebumps choose your own adventure stories. And that's about it. I won't be touching any movies or television shows of Goosebumps though. I never watched them as a kid and have no real interest in them now. I guess I could talk about them at some point if interest is shown in this review series, but I'm not biting to do it.

I grew up reading these books, and they certainly have had a sizable impact on the person I am today. I probably wouldn't love horror half as much as I do without these books. They led me to many other avenues and other great books and movies as well, since a decent portion of these books play off of more famous actual horror or sci-fi movies, books, television shows, etc.

The series as a whole is fairly reminiscent of The Twilight Zone for kids, specifically the books with the crazy twists at the end. I will spoil these books as well, so read at your own risk. Since I'm sure people are terrified of having a twenty year old children's horror novel spoiled for them. I'm sure that keeps them up at night.

As for formatting, these reviews will come in two sections. The first will be what I recall of the book. I'll talk about my memories, whether I was fond of it or not, if it ever scared me, and how well the book stuck with me. Sometimes this section will be very long. Other times it may not exist at all. The second section will be my impressions and thoughts about the book now after reading it.

And that's about all I have. So, without further ado-


-let's go to Dark Falls.


"I'm surrounded by death, I thought."


Welcome to Dead House was published in 1992, the month of July. It was the first Goosebumps book released, and was numbered 1 in its original binding. It is the only book of the entire series that really felt like it was written for an older audience back when I first read it. The imagery, the nightmare that Amanda has, and the dog, Petey, dying in the book makes this one both memorable and slightly more intense than any other books in the series, in both my opinion and in my memory.

Now, for whatever reason this is probably the only book from the original series that ever scared me as a kid. I did not like some of the content, and the writing, to me back then, was so different than the other books of the series, that I tended to liken it much more to the older audience R. L. Stine books, like the Fear Street books or those Babysitter books. I didn't read this book very often, and tended to avoid rereading it unlike some of the others that I absolutely loved. It was probably one of my least favorites of the original series, but only because I felt that it was so different from the rest.

I have no real fond memories of it, and my memory of this book (not pleasant memories) was the biggest hurtle to actually starting these reviews in the first place. I tend to remember most of the other Goosebumps books having a lot of personality, but for whatever reason this one always struck me as very flat. The characters and the story barely seem to be able to work in a real world setting, and, in fact, the whole premise falls apart if you think on it too much. I did as a child, and I didn't like the answers my mind came up with.

I will say that the name Dark Falls was something I really enjoyed and remembered for years afterward. I would use the name to describe any town or area near me that had heavily shaded roads for miles around. Where I live has a ton of thick forests and trees that cover over the roads throughout the year. So, Dark Falls was a very real place to me, just not by that name.

Reading it again, I found this book interesting. It read better than I remembered, giving a ton of characterizations I simply didn't remember, mostly to Amanda, the main character and first person narrator. She starts a trend of R. L. Stine leaning (from my memory) to more female protagonists than males. Usually the protagonists are twelve and their sibling is ten. Their sibling is generally the opposite sex to them as well.

Amanda easily has the most characterization in the book, with her brother, Josh, a distant second as the annoying sibling who sometimes does useful things. The book moves slowly in the beginning, establishing the move in a long-winded way that grew tiresome. The slow build to the house being haunted was also flat, as nothing truly seemed to happen that wasn't also explained away. Nothing seemed scary exactly so much as slightly annoying. Even Amanda doesn't truly act scared. She seemed to think away most of the spooky elements so that nothing in the early part of the book really ever seemed ambiguous or actually creepy.

Once they're actually in Dead House and have met the other kids in town, that's when the story both picks up and grows much more interesting. I mean, it still largely falls flat around the edges, but it also starts having some personality. The set-pieces are well done, starting with Amanda's nightmare and the way she vividly describes it. Her not being able to move in the nightmare is a sticking point for me since that actually happens in real life, and it is legitimately terrifying. I know this from personal experience.

Petey's "death," or at least the kids finding him dead is also awful. I can't think of many other children's horror books (or adult horror books) that have the steel determination to actually do that and pull it off well. It's awful, but effective at being the turning point of the book.

Honestly, the second half is much better than the first at being an action piece, but the beginning is much better at having a creeping fear in the back of the mind. Both parts of the book undermine one another though, with neither coming off quite as effectively because of the other. The heavy characterizations of the first half are thrown out for action set-pieces in the second, whereas the action set-pieces are fun but are undermined by the slow-paced trudge of the first half. Many elements of the story never come back into play, for instance Kathy, Amanda's bets friend who she talks about at decent length in an early chapter, has no significance to the story besides showing up in her nightmare. The parents likewise have no real use to them, only showing up as damsels in distress at the end of the book, but having no real characterization besides that.

The cemetery, while a good set-piece, literally is never scary. There is never one moment that the cemetery is supposed to be scary. It is almost the most friendly and inviting part of the entire story, which should never be the case. It's a graveyard. They're supposed to be creepy and uninviting. Part of that is in the descriptions, which seem so strong for the nightmare and the skulls of the dead people, but seems very flat for the environments and locales. From my memory R. L. Stine fixes this very soon, but right here it's very evident that he had very odd priorities while writing this one. The transition from teenage horror and adult horror to kid horror must have been a difficult one, and this book hasn't seemed to quite hit the mark.

The story is pretty obvious. Parents and two kids move into a house supposedly left to them by a great-uncle. It's in a town called Dark Falls surrounded by shade. They meet some odd kids, see that the town is kind of dead, think that the house is haunted, and eventually are surprised when all their worst fears are realized. Their dog is killed because it can sense the dead people. And the family is ready to be put up as a sacrifice for the town, the newest dead people to enter and never leave, but Amanda and Josh save the day, the dead people are killed yet again, and they leave the house forever just as another family goes to check it out.

The twist at the end, with the question of whether or not everybody in the town is truly the at rest kind of dead, is a good one, but this town is not truly scary, and I never found investment in the story anyway.

This book is okay. It leads me to many questions about the logic of the story, but that's to be expected at times, especially with stories of this nature. I can't really use those problems as sticking points though. It would be as unfair as using cold hard logic against a Twilight Zone episode. It would unfair. And it would not be what the story was trying to do or say. Instead I focus on the parts of the Goosebumps books I used to like, and where I think this one didn't hit its marks. The characters are mostly very flat, the set-pieces, although good at times, are not consistent, and the goriness seems to be there for shock value but not really for good writing or storytelling. It's a quick, non-nonsense story that has little to offer beyond a little shock and awe and some dry characters.

As a kid, I didn't like it. As an adult, I'm not in love with it, but I see its value. It's not bad even if it has a ton of problems. The writing is mostly solid, and the issues there are seem more related to the nature of a kid's horror novel and what that means than to anything else. I think I appreciate this book slightly more now than I did as a kid, but I doubt I'd ever read it again. I don't really like it so much as tolerate it and understand its important as the first one. It's a weak book of the original series, but one worth starting out to read. They seriously can only get better from here.

Podcast!?

Hey! Cgeez (my girlfriend) and I did a podcast thing! FIND IT HERE. And here is the direct download link. We had a good time putting this one together, although it is a week or two old at this point. Finding the time to edit has been a witch-and-a-half, let me tell you. We have some more already recorded, mostly weird fanfictiony awful.

...?

That sentence made no sense in any reality. We recorded ourselves reading bad fanfiction and sometimes talking about, analyzing it and whatnot. We have at least three of those that simply need to be edited. I have no timescale for when these things will come out. I'll judge it all by interest and downloads at this point. I want to do a podcast talking about Bioshock: Infinite and going into depth about Homestuck, but we'll get there later.

Anyway, give this a listen if you are interested. We talk about our apprehension about Homestuck, how good Adventure Time is, cosplay and jerks, and relationship and woman issues. (No, not those kinds of issues, weirdo.)

And yeah. We had a good time. I had less of a good time editing it, but that's something I'll need to work on. Hopefully it isn't too embarrassing. You can also see a little behind the scenes of my life and times. I'm sure you're all very excited to hear what I sound like. I know I am.

News for Future THINGS AND STUFF 2013 Edition

Hey, everybody! I know there are a decent amount of people reading and/or looking at this blog, and I should probably mention that I certainly appreciate everybody giving this little blog their time. I spend a good deal of my time writing, either on the internet or for myself, and every comment, every view, every single person giving time and effort to the things I've written means a lot to me, even if there are disagreements. And there certainly are and will be disagreements.

But it's all cool. I give my honest opinions on things and stuff, and some of those opinions will be heavily and highly controversial. It happens, and I can take the criticisms as long as other people can understand that my opinions can't be wrong since they're opinions. I know my Homestuck reviews have blown up recently again, and the fact that people keep coming back to those always makes me happy. It almost means to me that my opinions can mean something to people, that my articulations, right, wrong, or otherwise, can have resonance. And it certainly has shown me that there seems to be every type of opinion in regards to that webcomic, and that it is incredibly important to so many people as it was to me before it became the butt of a joke. I think I may have even more I should and might write up about Homestuck, but that might be a while in the making. I have a lot of opinions of the recent stuff that I haven't touched upon as well as ideas that would probably come off as bitter. So, I really want to work on my tone, and make sure that I don't insult a single fan because they will go for the throat. (Addendum: I will probably insult fans, and no, I don't care. People should be able to take both jokes and opinions without getting haughty. I was called wrong about everything, my girlfriend was told that she should break up with me, and my writing was insulted because I deigned to criticize the literary masterpiece that is Homestuck. I know it means a lot to people, it meant a lot to me, but there are seriously a ton of things wrong with it. So, seriously, I'm going to say whatever I want, and if people take what I say the right or wrong way, then okay. No more pussyfooting around or trying to be a happy man to everybody. If you don't like what I'm writing, talk to me about it, don't just go and insult me where your opinion will be taken seriously and reinforced. That's just cowardly and infinitely amusing to me.)

Anyway, I haven't posted anything here for a little while, and I'm going to explain what I've been up to and what my plans for this blog are. While I haven't posted anything here since late March, I have been posting some reviews and criticisms on my other blog, which involves fanfiction analysis and criticism. I share that blog with my girlfriend, and we're planning on having about a review a week up there. We should be alternating on that front, so I'll only be writing two reviews a month on that blog. I also have some plans on maybe trying the podcast thing, but I simply have to find time to record and time to edit, which has been nearly impossible with my job.

Yeah, so one of the reasons this blog started slowing down with content is my job. I've been working a ton of overtime, making decent money, sure, but not having much time for anything but working, small morsels of writing, and a little video gaming on the side. I wish I had more time to write. I've been missing writing like crazy. I plan to have a BioShock Infinite review up very soon, probably by the end of the week. I've started writing it, but it has been slow-going so far. In a nutshell, I loved this game, and I'm hoping that I can grab someone else to give their opinions on the game as well. We'll see.

I'm hoping to put out about four (maybe three) reviews here a month (besides October when I want to put out 31 reviews, heaven help me), but I have to structure my time out accordingly. which has been difficult lately to say the least. I have some movies I've grabbed up recently that I've been dying to review including Calvaire, Apartment 143, Enter the Void, May, Paperhouse, The Brood, Mimic, and many, many more. So, content should be incoming shortly, just be patient. I'm hoping that by May (the month, not the movie) I can equalize myself, get used to the job, and be ready to pump out quality content.

I really, really want to start a few series reviews, including a review of the Goosebumps series, and maybe a few television series as well, episode-by-episode or book-by-book. I'd love to gauge how interested people would be in content like that, but at the same time, I want to do it regardless of interest.

I'm thrilled that Deadly Premonition has a director's cut coming out for the PS3. It is one of my favorite games of all time, and I'm seriously looking forward to better controls, since those awful game controls and fighting mechanics were easily the worst thing about the game. There seem to be some great games coming out this year. I'm really looking forward to The Last of Us, and Beyond: Two Souls, as well as Among the Sleep, and Dragon Age III. So, those will all probably have reviews up from me long after their relevancy has dimmed.

I also hope to have my ongoing series of Star Wars retrospectives continue, and there might even be another Harry Potter book review two years (or however long it's been) after the first one. I've been wanting to review a literal million of Junji Ito's works as well, so we'll see how that works out as well.

Uh, I guess I should plug a few other things as well. My Tumblr, which is terrible, but I sometimes do stupid things there. My Twitter, which I only update once every blue moon or so. And that should be it. Wait, no. If any of you have anything you'd like to request for me to review, just let me know. Comment on this or any random thing, and let me know.

Movie Appraisal: The Corridor (2010)

Well, you're not shooting blanks ANYMORE!

This movie is different. I wish I could use another descriptor here, but I simply do not have any others to use. It is a very different movie, not at all like anything else I've ever seen. While it has a fairly original premise, it's bogged down by its fairly lofty (I think...) goals. The Corridor consists of too many tonal changes, too many hectic movements without explanation. It simultaneously reminded me of the novel Dreamcatcher by Stephen King and the nonsensical movie Dreamland. It's an odd combination to be sure, and without much true plot to speak of this movie could easily be relegated to the movies to pass right on by.

I can't recommend this movie. I'll say that right now. I need to get that out of the way. I like obscure movies with original plots, but this one was just a little too much even for me. I enjoyed bits and pieces of the movie, but it was like the movie never knew what it wanted to be. Was it a clear and philosophical statement on the ramifications of mental derangement on one's friends? Was it about insanity in general? Visions specifically? Was it about friendship? I don't think so, but the case could be made, I suppose. Was it about horror? Terror? Gross out gore? I still don't know. It's all of those things and none of those things.

I didn't like the movie all that much. It moved too quickly and never really gave me more than a surface feeling of any sort of story or knowledge of what was going on. It wasn't even frustrating because I never really came to care. The characters were wholly paper-thin, with only Tyler coming out as a real human person. The rest just came off as non-characters, caricatures of what real people are. The case could be made that the entire movie was in Tyler's head. Honestly, that's the only way I can interpret it. The signs are all there, with most of the movie being spent trying to figure out what happened to him, why he broke down, and if he killed his mother or not. The premise of the film revolves around his friends becoming as crazy as he once was, each and every one of them in turn. They see what he once saw, but refuse his help. They become worse and worse, eventually succumbing to the insanity. Well, all but one, but Tyler saves him by sacrificing himself.

I have to believe that the whole thing is a speech on the degradation of mental health. Each insanity is different, but they all involve some sort of mantra, something that Tyler once had. Ev is the violent psychopath who eventually takes his own life. Chris is the one left over, the only one there was ever any hope for. He represents a friend, one who cares, one who is taken care of as he has taken care of others. Bobcat and Jim are two sides of the same coin. They are yin and yang to each other. Jim is a coward whose own intelligence feeds the insanity, while Bobcat is taken over by it, consumed by it, and allows the others to abuse him. He becomes the victim just as Jim does.

I'm reading too deeply into this, but I still think some parts are interesting. The idea of the corridor itself is fascinating. It's a conduit to a deeper understanding, the understanding of others, even the insanity inside of others. The movie is almost saying that we are not fit to hold the forbidden knowledge, rather we must understand ourselves before we can ever take a chance in understanding others. I want this movie to have some kind of meaning though, and it's hard to truly and wholly look at this movie as intelligent when so much of the movie is slow plodding through the plot, gore, or terrible special effects. While there are a few good lines, each and every one spoken by Ev, who really is the star of the movie here, very little else stands out. The visuals are nothing really special, just a snowy cabin in the woods. The sounds and music are standard, barely noticeable, background noise. The acting is mediocre, with only James Gilbert as Everett and Stephen Chambers as Tyler really standing out. They both seem to care about the movie and subsequently both give some great performances. Everett is helped by having some great lines, as I said before, while Tyler is helped by his insanity and expressions. The rest are standard horror movie actors, nothing special, just kind of there saying lines.

It had some slightly (and I mean only slightly here) disturbing things, like when Jim's scalp is taken off, but the gore is the really only noticeable creepy mention. It's not much of a horror film besides that. The movie doesn't even look like a horror film should. It's too bright, not enough contrasts. Maybe that's just me.

Anyway, I guess it does have some psychological horror elements to it, but they are so few and far between that it would be difficult to call it a psychological horror movie. It's probably closer to a sci-fi, but branding it that doesn't feel right ether. Because I don't recommend it, I find myself not caring so much about it's labeling. Call ti what you will.

This is basically a very mediocre film with some interesting, but not quite good, ideas to it. I don't think it could have been made better with the same script. The characters were bland, the writing plodding, and I simply did not care in the end. Also, the ending is hilariously bad. I laughed, and it's not meant to be funny.

Movie Appraisal: Sinister (2012)

Well, I'm not sleeping tonight.

Sinister is a terrifyingly horrific movie brought to us from the makers of Paranormal Activity and Insidious. Now, I enjoyed both of those films quite a lot, finding both all kinds of horrifying. I mean, seriously, both are incredible movies, with twists and turns and scares galore. And this one is great as well. It never disappoints, upping the horror with every subsequent scene. I mean, the characters are never brilliant, but in a movie like this it's all about the story, the visuals, the sounds, and the directing. All of those things are topnotch. Scott Derrickson does an amazing job throughout, making this an incredibly directed horror film. The Super 8 footage as well as the long scenes without any real sounds made this movie surrealistic and creepy beyond belief.

Yes, obviously this film was marketed as being terrifying. Yes, as a followup to Insidious I expected a lot. The thing is, the movie delivered. It had an unexpected and brilliant ending. It had a great performance by Ethan Hawke. It had some actually creepy performances by children, which almost never happens. Now, the visuals are not always scary, but if you can get yourself really into the movie, that's where it becomes absolutely terrifying. Just imagining a world where things like this can happen is enough to give one the shakes. And the ambiguous nature of the whole thing makes the movie that much more mysterious and awful to think about. The idea of the film is almost more terrifying than the actual execution. And the execution is plenty terrifying on its own. I wish every horror movie could reach this level of horror. If that were the case horror would be seen as a legitimate form of art in film in no time flat.

Ugh, now I just want more. I want to see more of this horror, more of the terror induced by this movie. I'm a junkie for scares, and this movie delivered enough of them to make me crave more. Seriously, there is a ton of quality here. Sure, there are some missteps and mistakes, but for the most part this movie is the real deal. It is pure horror, derived from a terrifying place in the human soul. It reaches out and creates a feeling of paranoia and real fear. It's after midnight now. I have work in the morning. But I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. If I do, I'm almost certain that every creak from my old house will remind me that anything could happen in this crazy world. If I try to sleep I can just imagine closing my eyes and hearing a whisper at the edge of my ear... or closing my eyes and seeing something staring back at me in the abyss of my eyelids.

The movie was creepy. It followed around a burned out true crime author trying to find his big break. He (and his family) moves into the home of some victims of a fairly grisly murder involving the whole family being hanged except for one of their children who happened to be abducted (or so it seems). Well, he finds some old and creepy home movies showing multiple different murders. All of them seemed to be tied to some Pagan deity or demon and a cult. All of the murders are more closely linked than that though, and the author may have made his biggest mistake in moving into the home of murder victims...

I'm just going to trail off there. He did make a huge mistake. It's a mistake that costs him much more than his life. Well, Ethan Hawke (playing the author) gives us a character we can both relate to and kind of hate. He's a big jerk throughout most of the movie. He lies. He drinks. He shouts a bit. He's annoying and unhappy and a bit apathetic. He seems to care much more about fame and fortune than about the well-being of his family. But he is passionate about a few things. He really wants to figure out the mystery of what happened to the murdered family. He does too- figure it out, I mean- but a little too late, I should think. You kind of feel bad for him at the end of the movie, but you also realize that he's not the only one who figured most of this stuff out. And at least one person knows most of the story, even if it is pretty unbelievable. It's still scary, and the ending still leaves a shiver crawling down my spine, but it's not a movie where the ending is something I absolutely hate. It makes sense and works, even if some might think it invalidates the entire movie. I don't, but I can see some people absolutely hating the ending.

The best parts of the film hands down are the sounds and music. I have to mention those things because they are nearly pitch-perfect. I have never seen a film use sound and music so effectively in its horror. That being said, the visuals never quite stand up them. I kind of wish it looked more- I don't know- horrific? Scary looking? New technology, which is used throughout the film, just simply is not a scary thing. And the bright colors and crisp picture of the non-Super 8 film just kind of shows that a clear and crisp picture does not really beget horror in the best way possible. I mean, there are some films that benefit from a beautiful picture and quality of film. Sinister is not one of those films. It's still good- very good- don't get me wrong, but it could have been better if it were made in a time when everything didn't have to look all shiny and perfect.

For example, sometimes the images of the "antagonist" just looked photoshopped in. And that just seems kind of lazy and awful to me. It doesn't ruin the movie, and it may just be my perception, but I didn't like that. The antagonist- Bughuul- is absolutely unnecessary. The children zombie-ghosts are also absolutely unnecessary. None of them are scary. None of them add any real terror to the film. The scariest parts of the movie are the unknowns things: the Super 8 videos, the ambiguous murders, and having no real reason to do the murders. The children in the "extended endings" of the videos are also brilliant. But showing everything is not brilliant. It takes away from both the premise and the mystery, and it leaves me wishing to excise the elements of the movie I didn't enjoy. But I'm nitpicking. Most of the film is incredibly good, and I recommend it wholeheartedly to any and all fans of horror.

This movie is scary. Did I mention that? I need to mention that again if I did before. Watching it alone late at night is asking to be creeped out and paranoid. It does have some moments of silliness and ridiculousness, but those are far outweighed by the moments of terror. Again, watch this if you want a scare. Yes, there will be moments where you will roll your eyes, but the quality of the horror far outweighs the awful little moments. So, if you enjoyed Insidious, The Blair Witch Project, or Paranormal Activity- or if you just like interesting horror- check this out. It's good in my opinion. It definitely brought the terror and paranoia with it. Check it out if you get the chance. I mean, come on- occult, murder, mystery, crime, and terror? How can you even go wrong?