Goosebumps Review: Monster Blood

It's a monster blood drive!

This is the first Goosebumps book I've been afraid to open. I must have read it a great load of times because it has a very well worn cover and pages. This book was one of my favorites of the original run of Goosebumps, and I regard it and its sequels very fondly. Actually throughout the first dozen or so books this was always my favorite. I love the premise, the characters, the writing, and what happens throughout. While never explicitly terrifying, the sci-fi and "magical" elements of the book are all really part of its appeal.

Monster Blood was released in September 1992, the same month of the release of the next book I'll review as well.

While the first book was a bit of a miss for me and the second was surprisingly good, this one hit the mark exactly. It is both very well done and never boring. Some elements of it could have been more concise and less hand-wavy, but the story works in general. I liked the idea of a mysterious substance ultimately ending up as both something harmful and truly unnerving. I mean, I can't even imagine what I would do or think if a substance I bought just starting growing and changing consistency without warning. I'd probably freak out and act much like these two kids did, plopping it into multiple containers and hoping for the best.

Anyway, the main characters are one of the strengths of this book. Andy and Evan are basically the stars of the book here and of the series as a whole. They pop back up in the next three sequels to Monster Blood, and are about as likable and amazing as protagonists can be in this series. They are believable as kids of twelve or so and work really well. Andy (Andrea) especially always worked well. The way all of what she's wearing is described every time she's shown really gave her a personality well beyond what any dialogue could. Sure, she's quirky and tomboyish and fun. And being able to give her that kind of character worked really well in establishing something about her beyond the mundane. Evan is also well established, being sarcastic and a little whiny, certainly not the perfect hero, but one who works in the book anyway. Kathryn, Sarabeth, the twins are also well done here even though they appear in none of the other books as far as I remember. Sarabeth works well as the villain without any reason or care. Kathryn, the great-aunt who doesn't care, is both intimidating and a question mark throughout the book. And the twins are the first real bullies we get to see in Goosebumps, a theme that will become more and more pronounced throughout the books.

I like that the protagonist is thrown into an awkward and foreign situation from the first page. I like how that leads to all of the problems. I guess I should tell the plot? I don't know. It's simple. So, Evan Ross is left with his great-aunt as his parents try to find a house in another state. Evan is alone with her, she's deaf and refuses to learn any real way of communication. Evan brings his dog Trigger as well. Eventually he meets Andy and they strike a friendship up. They go to an old toy store, buy some Monster Blood "SURPRISING MIRACLE SUBSTANCE," and begin playing around with it. It's just some bouncing goo at first, but after a day seems to become sticky and awful, growing and changing as time goes by. Evan's dog eats some of it, which can't be healthy, and starts growing himself too! Well, this can't do. Andy and Evan try to figure out what to do, only to learn that the Monster Blood is seemingly hungry as well, pulling things inside of it. As it grows, it finally gets out of its containment and goes after them, reaching a final confrontation where Evan's great-aunt's cat, Sarabeth, is the mastermind of a spell put on the Monster Blood and is looking to murder the children because "they know too much" even though they really don't know anything and probably wouldn't know a single thing if this cat-lady had just not been evil and ready to murder them. You know? Hospitality among cat-ladies is really awful today. Well, she ends up being eaten up by the Monster Blood and disappears for... reasons. And everything's good after that. Yup. Obviously there will never be a single sequel to this because it was all a spell by a lady who no longer exists. Right?

Right?

...?


Well, we'll wait to answer that until book 18.

Specifically that book.

I wonder why...

*Cough*Cough*

So, yeah, the book works pretty well at being coherent and quick, but surprisingly well put together too. The characters are so good here and the plot isn't too shabby either. Out of the first three books this is easily my favorite. It explores heavy subjects as well, just like the first two tried to do. Moving seems to be a surprisingly common theme, mostly because there are certainly people who have to move around, and, for a child, it must be difficult to cope with those moves. The fear and terror of moving and dealing with it is kind of within the books as well, the plot basically reinterpreting what it means to move to somewhere new. Or maybe that's just me over-thinking things.

This book takes on the subtheme of bullying and what that means much like how Welcome to Dead House deals with what moving to a new town does to a young kid. Evan and his family are also moving, but the move to a new place is never important to Evan like it was to Amanda in Welcome to Dead House. Hell, he hardly mentions it at all besides stating that's what's going to happen. The bullying though is a pretty main theme, with the twins not only bullying and hurting Evan, but also doing the same to Andy, nearing concussing her against a sidewalk while they steal her bike for a joyride. There is something sickening about the characters of the twins. Their utter inhumanity and eventual cowardice really say a great deal about bullying in general. I think this subtheme is wonderful and really shows a clear difference between those who are picked on and those who do the picking. The most shocking thing is when Andy is hurt. But almost as shocking is Evan being beaten to a pulp by them. Yes, I know Monster Blood's main plot has literally nothing to do with this theme, but I think it's way too important not to discuss. The kids reading these books would almost surely identify with the victims (I may be profiling here, but seriously, I used to be one of those kids, I think I have a good idea about this.), and see the bullies as awful people. I guess I like how it's handled. I like how Evan deals with it. And I like how the bullies get their comeuppance.

Monster Blood. Well, I don't really know how four (five?) books are made about this substance. This could have been a standalone book, and I would have been fine with that. I hate to admit this, but my memory of the other Monster Blood books is pretty spotty. While I remember this book well, and perhaps the beginning of the second book too, none of the others have stuck in my mind at all. I assume because they are simply not as... uh... not as good as this one. Then again I might eat my words when I get to them. We'll see...

I liked this book a great deal as a kid. It was one of my favorites in general of the series, like I mentioned, but it also had some of the more memorable moments of the books. I really liked the characters, Evan's sense of abandonment, and the friendship between Andy and Evan. Those things all worked so well here, and Monster Blood makes other books pale in comparison to its absolute brilliance at times. There is a great deal to praise here, and I do wish that every book could be this good. Well, there are some things to mention, mostly small things, but...

Okay, so one of my big questions: Why does the old toy shop close up inexplicably? I'm not sure I understand that detail. It had obviously been open for a very long time, then suddenly the owner sells the Monster Blood to Evan and closes shop? Was he not doing a good business? Did he die? I mean, as far as we know the Monster Blood's properties were specifically created by Sarabeth because she's a witch or something. So, did she kill the proprietor because she wanted to trick Evan? Or am I seriously missing something here? I just have no real answer. I guess it could have been a coincidence, but in horror like this I don't believe in coincidences. So, it's a problem that doesn't wrap up nicely or easily.

This is also the first cover that really has nothing to do with the contents within. Look at that book cover by Tim Jacobus. That never happens in the book. I have no idea if any of the characters even wear glasses. I don't think any do. So, unlike Stay Out of the Basement where that scene could have happened because plant-dad did happen or Welcome to Dead House where the house did exist, this cover never actually happens. It always struck me as odd, but I know things like this happen all the time. I'll continue to pay attention to covers and talk details. None of the covers have been particularly striking yet, but some are certainly brilliant eventually (or really baffling), and I'll be sure to speak about them at length when they come.

So, the last thing I want to speak of is a relationship between characters. Evan and Andy seriously have one of the best relationships in any of the Goosebumps books or series. I have no idea why, but their friendship works incredibly well. I'm pretty sure back when I was twelve I might have acted similarly to girls I liked. Or liked if that should be highlighted. Anyway, I like their dynamics and am looking forward to the other books with them together.

This book gets a good rating from me. It's a great read for an older or younger person to read. It works well even if some questions are left lingering in your mind. It doesn't really easily set up a sequel, but I can understand how this book became popular enough to warrant some when only one other book in the first ten books of the series did (The Night of the Living Dummy) (I have no idea if there are other more recent sequels now though.). Anyway, I highly recommend this one, and I look forward to more.

The next book up is the sequel to the first Fear Street review I did, Cheerleaders: The Second Evil.

Fear Street Review: Cheerleaders: The First Evil

When the cheers turn to screams...

"Give me a D-I-E!"

So, here we are at our first R. L. Stine teenage book released in August 1992 called Cheerleaders: The First Evil. Unlike the Goosebumps books these really weren't for kids at all. Now, that didn't stop me from reading them when I was very young, but it is a fact. These are pretty creepy even for an adult to read. They are not baby books for babies, but I don't think any of these R. L. Stine books are. They all have that little special piece of horror that most books, especially those made and written for kids and teenagers, seem to be missing. And how ballsy must it have been for R. L. Stine to actually write these books for teenagers at all? I mean, look at the teenage books that are popular today- supernatural romance, vampires, werewolves, supernatural romance, fantasy romance, romance, and maybe a little fantasy for the adventurous. But that's about it. You don't get horror books written for teenage audiences anymore, and certainly not horror books for teenage girls starring teenage girls! That's insane! That's just crazy!

And yet here it is- a book that involves no romance elements written for teenagers- specifically teenage girls- that is good in every way. Well, saying this book is good is underplaying the quality. It is an excellent book, standing up to my memory in every single way. I remember this being one of the best R. L. Stine books and series around, and it certainly didn't disappoint me thus far.

I know that a story centered around cheerleaders seems like it would probably make a pretty uninteresting book, but it really works amazingly well. One can relate to the characters, the situation therein, and the emotions. The horror, very vague for most of the book- more similar to paranoia and regular high school drama than actual horror- really hits a stride that I haven't seen equaled in many other horror books at all.

"When you jump up, everyone can see your underpants."

The story begins in such an innocuous way and goes to very dark places. It begins in an almost typical Goosebumps fashion- a prank set upon a younger sibling. The lead character, Bobbi, and her sister, Corky, set up a prank on their younger brother. They plan to scare him with a fake rat, succeed, and enjoy the evil of their deed. This works so well at establishing their characters. They become strong from the get-go, each with her own personality, and each with her own establishing moment. Corky is the younger one, in Bobbi's shadow more than likely, but not caring all that much about it. Bobbi is the perfect one, the more mischievous one, and the one who the story follows around. They are both new to the town of Shadyside (where the Fear Street books take place) and are looking to try out for the cheerleading squad even though it's a bit late in the season for that. But they're good, and it shows. They're given a chance, and the story kicks off.

Is it about cheerleading though? No, not really. You could substitute any high school activity into here and get the same results. Drama club, football, chess club, etc. It doesn't really matter since high school kids will be themselves in the end. The cheerleading squad works well though because of what they have to do, because of the trust they need to have, and because of the utterly non-horrific imagery associated with cheerleaders.

"Jennifer's startled scream was drowned out by the squeal of the skidding tires.

By the crunch of metal.

By the shatter of glass." 

The sisters are allowed onto the squad to their elation because of their obvious talent. The problem is that things go wrong quickly. Kimmy, one of the cheerleaders, does not like the sisters at all and seems bent on turning the other girls against them. Jennifer, the captain, seems able to keep everybody together- but then an accident. The bus they are traveling on to get to a game crashes, Jennifer gets hurt, so much so that she is thought dead, fallen on top of the tombstone of "SARAH FEAR." She awakens, but is paralyzed, and a new captain is to be chosen.

The book has a limited third person narration. It follows around certain characters' thoughts. Though it mostly focuses on Bobbi's own thoughts, Corky's, Kimmy's, and Jennifer's are also seen. While Bobbi is the main character, it becomes very obvious that the whole plot is much larger than her. Corky is largely forgotten in the background, just another girl in the shadows as Bobbi's teenage life goes through its moments. A boy, Chip (the football quarterback himself no less!), asks Bobbi out, she is chosen as the new cheerleading captain, and everything seems to be going her way.

And yet...

And yet.

"Everyone is watching me, Kimmy thought, forcing back the loud sobs that pushed at her throat. Everyone is feeling sorry for me."

One of my favorite aspects of this book is how right it gets the teenage mentality. Everything is in the moment. Each thought is hectic and pumped up and ultra-emotional. Both Bobbi and Kimmy act in emotional manners, both lashing out because of jealousy or anger or a million other little emotions that they cannot hide. This book gets it so right though. It hits that pitch-perfect feel of teenage and high school life. I can remember going to high school football games with my girlfriend at the time, watching the cheerleaders, feeling the charged atmosphere, and hearing the noise throughout the bleachers. And R. L. Stine captures that atmosphere perfectly, right down to every little description. The teenage life reminds me of those teenagers I used to know and those that are left behind in my memory- and it works- it works so well that it's scary.

I think that's the point really.

"He's dead, she thought.

It was so silent in the stadium. So unearthly silent.

We're all dead. All."

The narrative keeps going as Bobbi's new "boyfriend" freezes during a game. This comes back as she later freezes as well while trying (unsuccessfully) to catch a girl during a routine. And this all happens as her relationship is straining with the other girls on the squad, even her own sister. It seems like only Jennifer seems to have any time for Bobbi, but even that is- strange. Bobbi keeps seeing and sensing odd things. First some lockers seem to shut on their own, then she freezes and is completely unable to move, and then, finally, she sees a paralyzed Jennifer, in silhouette, seem to stride across her window.

This seems impossible, but she feels the need to believe her own senses. She tell Corky who thinks she's cracking, and they leave each other to sleep, both angry at the other.

"'Help me! I can't- breathe!'

She closed her eyes and covered her ears.

The roar didn't go away.

The pain didn't go away.

The roar grew louder.

Then all was silence."

The twist in this tale is that Bobbi, our lead, is the one to die. She dies, or is killed, in an incredibly gruesome fashion, drowning and being scalded to death all at once in the girl's locker room. This has always stuck in my mind as one of the creepiest and most descriptive deaths I read about in my early life. I can't say I enjoyed it, but the artistry and the writing are just so incredibly well done. To write a death that has stuck with me for well over a decade has to mean something. I always remembered this scene, was even looking forward to it in a sick kind of way.

I can't seem to remember a single other death in an R. L. Stine book, but this one sticks out so vividly, perhaps because of the twist that Bobbi was never the main character, she was never the one we were supposed to be following, and she was nothing more than a false protagonist. And something about that shattered the illusions that I had always known in my young mind. I no longer could trust the narrative or the author. I was tricked into a false sense of security. Surely nothing could happen to the lead character, nothing bad could befall that character, that would be silly.

And when something bad did befall Bobbi, I found myself a little shattered. I was shocked and upset. I didn't understand how this could happen. And I realized it could never be any better. In many ways this book introduced me to an adult narrative, a gave me a huge distrust of horror that has continued to this day.

"'Fear Street,' one of the policemen had said grimly, shaking his head. 'Fear Street...'" 

See, Corky figures it all out after Bobbi's death. She first thinks that Kimmy killed her after she noticed that she found Kimmy's pendant on the floor with Bobbi's stuff when she found Bobbi's body. but Kimmy had given the pendant to Jennifer, but poor paralyzed Jennifer couldn't-

Well, she could actually. She wasn't paralyzed. She wasn't anything. She had died in that bus accident and was possessed by the spirit of Sarah Fear... or something, it seems. Corky sees Jennifer walking, then driving, then dancing near Sarah's tomb. Corky confronts Jennifer, and after a few chapter long struggle, defeats her, leaving only a body of bones and dust behind, much to the confusion of literally everybody, police included. Although, it seems everybody knows something is wrong with Fear Street, but they're unable to do anything about it... 

The First Evil

Well, here we are, again through another R. L. Stine book. And what a great book this one is. It stood in my mind as a high point of horror in my young life, and it didn't disappoint. It is an excellent book from beginning to end. The characters are brilliant, each fleshed out in turn. The setting of the high school works well, and it is incredibly surprising just how right the details seem, even to me, who went to high school a decade after this book was released.

It is a horrifying book, one with creepy and incredibly descriptions. The deaths are so well detailed, and yet still left ambiguous, not gory exactly, but leaving a great deal to imagination. It still is a teen book, but the terror is a much older and thicker terror than that. It works so well that it has to be one of the very best R. L. Stine books out there. And I wouldn't be surprised if it is the best teenage horror book as well. 

I don't think this book will ever leave my mind. I've thought about it a lot in the years since the last time I read it, which was well over a decade ago. It is one of the few R. L. Stine books that comes back to me from time-to-time, and I have no clue why. Maybe it was because this was the first Fear Street book I read and therefore the first teen horror book I read as well? Maybe the descriptions were brilliant even to my much younger mind- or maybe it did truly scare me, and maybe it still does even today.

I can't help but recommend this book. It works so well at everything it does. It is incredibly well-written, well-paced, and well thought out. I can't think of a single negative- unless I include the slightly too quick ending and the lack of characterization of Corky. Then again... well, I know what's coming, so neither seem like huge flaws because of that.

Well, now I have a choice. Monster Blood and Cheerleaders: The Second Evil were both released in September 1992. I'm going to choose Monster Blood to review next to shake stuff up a bit, but realize that very soon we'll be hitting the sequel to the first Cheerleaders book...

Anyway, see you next time, readers.

Goosebumps Review: Stay Out of the Basement

Something's waiting in the dark...

Book number two of the Goosebumps series by R. L. Stine is an interesting one and one that started a couple trends among these books. Stay out of the Basement was first published, like Welcome to Dead House, in July 1992. It was the first of many Goosebumps books that would feature a mad scientist and the first of many that would, in my opinion, act as a young adult homage to famous sci-fi or horror movies/books. In this case the movie this book most resembles is The Fly, either version of it, with the genetic splicing and monstrous results. Even the ending seems to pay homage to those movies, particularly the older one with Vincent Price from 1958. I'm reminded of the iconic, "Help me! Help me!" from that movie in the ending to this book.

My memories of this one are all over the place. While it was never one of my absolute favorites, my copy of this book is well read. I remember having a good time with this book even if I didn't understand the references to The Fly back when I first read it. It had a creepiness to it that not many of the Goosebumps books seemed to equal. The funny thing is, for whatever reason, I remember the television version of this book almost as much as I remember the book itself. It is quite possibly the only book I can say that about.

This book certainly hits a much higher mark than the first and improves upon almost everything from Welcome to Dead House. While it may not quite be as gory or repulsive as that book, it is quite creepy, showing a paranoia about one's parent that I have not often seen before in any other book or piece of fiction. It almost seems to have a message that could read, "If your parent is doing something really weird and creepy and wrong, maybe it really is weird and creepy and wrong."

I was always struck by the way the dad in the book acted towards his kids. And I was confused that not more was done by the kids to do something about their nearly absent parental figure. I don't know, but I kind of figure this book was trying to say something even if it never quite had the message absolutely picked out.

Reading it through today, I found it really well done. If I were scoring this one compared to last week's Welcome to Dead House this one is not only improved in almost every way- its narrative, characters, setting, situation, and creepiness- but it also drew me in much more than that first book, which was always a weak one in my memory and seemed even weaker as I read it back. While I wasn't exactly excited to read this book, it was one I knew I wouldn't have any issues with getting through. I knew it wouldn't be a slog and, mostly, I knew it wouldn't be Welcome to Dead House. Sorry, but that was a book I simply do not think is very good at all.

"The dirt was filled with dozens of moving insects. And long, brown earthworms. All crawling through the wet, black clumps that lined her father's bed."

The plot here is pretty simple. Two kids, Margaret (the lead) and Casey (her younger brother), become curious as to what their dad is doing int he basement. He had been laid off from his previous job as a university botanist and for weeks had been toiling in the basement to find a way to get his job back with some experiments with plants. Obviously he is a scientist MAD with SCIENCE. And somehow he makes a weird genetic electronic thing that splices genetic material between organisms. His DNA gets spliced into a plant and vice-versa, and the plot kicks off.

While the kids' mother is away, things start going awry with their father's experiments. He starts acting weird, seems to be becoming a plant, and warns them from going into the basement. The title is even thrown out in dialogue within the first chapter of the story, something which I have to giggle about.  Well, anyway, the kids obviously have to be curious and not listen to their dad. They snoop around, get into some trouble, suspect him of lying and being a creepy plant-man, and ultimately find out that a plant has been imitating their father- but to what end? That we don't know. A lingering question I have is why did he kidnap his boss, Mr. Martinez? And why wouldn't the police be around questioning him about the man's disappearance since it was the last known place he had been? It's a question that seems to be shrugged away, but I was wondering it as I read the book.

Anyway, the book ends with a confrontation between the kids, their two dads, and their mother to figure out which one is the real one. Plant-dad is axed down and all seems well with the world- except that a flower seems to be screaming to Margaret that he is her actual father...

Live Plants... Dead People?

I realize, too late now, that the book also seems to reference Little Shop of Horrors. Okay, I didn't realize it too late. It's an obvious reference, but the plot doesn't seem to follow that plot so much as the plot of The Fly. Again, I'm probably a little wrong for not mentioning this sooner, but it's so obvious that I realized it was a reference back when I was ten. The problem is, it's only a surface reference, with the main plot being very different indeed.

This book is creepy. No, it's not the scariest Gossebumps book I remember, but it has both aged well and works well even today, especially at bringing out the feelings of paranoia- and even more especially in regards to a parental figure. Something about that seems incredibly well done to me, and something, I suspect, that could not be done today in quite the same way, which saddens me. It's upsetting to see that fiction can be influenced by the way the world is, but it's absolutely true. This is a book that could only exist in the 1990s.

All of the characters are fleshed out. They all feel real, and seem like they could live in a real, albeit twisted, world. The kids act and seem like kids that age, both curious and a little hyperactive. The dad is a workaholic and the mother's expressions in the early parts of the book seem to say just as much about her tension as it does about what the kid's perceive. It almost hits on the idea that work could put a strain on a marriage or on a relationship- which is essentially what this book is about already. I find that both intellectually stimulating and that it is amazing these things existed in a horror book for kids. 

The setting- winter in a warm climate- worked well too, although I couldn't exactly say why. Something about a time that is supposed to be bleak being like summer creeps me out, possibly because I grew up and live in New England, where there's no such thing as a warm winter. I guess the whole humidity and warmth thing works well for me, it is exactly what a greenhouse would feel like, and it's also what this book reads like, if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, while this is not one of the fondest remembered books of the Goosebumps library to me, it certainly works well now that I'm reading it as an adult. It is much better than Welcome to Dead House, and has excited me for more books. I mean, seriously, if a book I wasn't looking forward to made me this happy- then what will happen with the books I really am looking forward to?

So, the next book will be Goosebumps number 3-

-wait-

-no.

No, actually, Monster Blood will not be next even if it will be the next Goosebumps review. See, I mentioned I was going to do R. L. Stine books in some kind of chronological order- and while I don't own all of the Fear Street books like I used to (I didn't like a good portion of them, and sold them off half a decade ago, a thing I still don't regret.), I still have some that I was incredibly fond of back when I was a younger. Actually I read them alongside of the Goosebumps  books, so I find the way I'm reviewing these appropriate.

So, instead of Monster Blood, the next review that you can expect from me will be a Fera Street book. In particular I'm going to start my Fear Street Review series (of the eleven books I'm planning on reviewing from that series) with August 1992's Cheerleaders: The First Evil.

Goosebumps Review: Welcome to Dead House

It will just kill you.

Hey! Saquarry here. So, I'm starting up a new review series where I plan to review every Goosebumps book and books kind of or semi associated with that series or R. L Stine in general. This is quite the endeavor, I hope you understand, but it's something I've been wanting to do for years. And now I finally have the energy and the resources to see it through to the end. And when I say end, I do mean even the current stuff- eventually.

I'm going to review these books chronologically when they were published, so it may seem all over the place at times, but that's what I would like to do. I also have some teen R. L. Stine books I'd like to talk about at some point, most notably some of my favorite of the actual Fear Street books. But we'll get there. I'm excited for the possibilities and the reviews. For the most part I haven't read any of these books in about twelve years or so, but I still have them all from the original run of the series. Now, I may have to buy a couple, most notably in the Ghosts of Fear Street books (especially the later books int hat series which were nearly impossible for me to find back then) as well as some of the short story collection if I decide to do them.

Anyway, this whole review series will involve everything with the Goosebumps name, even the Give Yourself Goosebumps choose your own adventure stories. And that's about it. I won't be touching any movies or television shows of Goosebumps though. I never watched them as a kid and have no real interest in them now. I guess I could talk about them at some point if interest is shown in this review series, but I'm not biting to do it.

I grew up reading these books, and they certainly have had a sizable impact on the person I am today. I probably wouldn't love horror half as much as I do without these books. They led me to many other avenues and other great books and movies as well, since a decent portion of these books play off of more famous actual horror or sci-fi movies, books, television shows, etc.

The series as a whole is fairly reminiscent of The Twilight Zone for kids, specifically the books with the crazy twists at the end. I will spoil these books as well, so read at your own risk. Since I'm sure people are terrified of having a twenty year old children's horror novel spoiled for them. I'm sure that keeps them up at night.

As for formatting, these reviews will come in two sections. The first will be what I recall of the book. I'll talk about my memories, whether I was fond of it or not, if it ever scared me, and how well the book stuck with me. Sometimes this section will be very long. Other times it may not exist at all. The second section will be my impressions and thoughts about the book now after reading it.

And that's about all I have. So, without further ado-


-let's go to Dark Falls.


"I'm surrounded by death, I thought."


Welcome to Dead House was published in 1992, the month of July. It was the first Goosebumps book released, and was numbered 1 in its original binding. It is the only book of the entire series that really felt like it was written for an older audience back when I first read it. The imagery, the nightmare that Amanda has, and the dog, Petey, dying in the book makes this one both memorable and slightly more intense than any other books in the series, in both my opinion and in my memory.

Now, for whatever reason this is probably the only book from the original series that ever scared me as a kid. I did not like some of the content, and the writing, to me back then, was so different than the other books of the series, that I tended to liken it much more to the older audience R. L. Stine books, like the Fear Street books or those Babysitter books. I didn't read this book very often, and tended to avoid rereading it unlike some of the others that I absolutely loved. It was probably one of my least favorites of the original series, but only because I felt that it was so different from the rest.

I have no real fond memories of it, and my memory of this book (not pleasant memories) was the biggest hurtle to actually starting these reviews in the first place. I tend to remember most of the other Goosebumps books having a lot of personality, but for whatever reason this one always struck me as very flat. The characters and the story barely seem to be able to work in a real world setting, and, in fact, the whole premise falls apart if you think on it too much. I did as a child, and I didn't like the answers my mind came up with.

I will say that the name Dark Falls was something I really enjoyed and remembered for years afterward. I would use the name to describe any town or area near me that had heavily shaded roads for miles around. Where I live has a ton of thick forests and trees that cover over the roads throughout the year. So, Dark Falls was a very real place to me, just not by that name.

Reading it again, I found this book interesting. It read better than I remembered, giving a ton of characterizations I simply didn't remember, mostly to Amanda, the main character and first person narrator. She starts a trend of R. L. Stine leaning (from my memory) to more female protagonists than males. Usually the protagonists are twelve and their sibling is ten. Their sibling is generally the opposite sex to them as well.

Amanda easily has the most characterization in the book, with her brother, Josh, a distant second as the annoying sibling who sometimes does useful things. The book moves slowly in the beginning, establishing the move in a long-winded way that grew tiresome. The slow build to the house being haunted was also flat, as nothing truly seemed to happen that wasn't also explained away. Nothing seemed scary exactly so much as slightly annoying. Even Amanda doesn't truly act scared. She seemed to think away most of the spooky elements so that nothing in the early part of the book really ever seemed ambiguous or actually creepy.

Once they're actually in Dead House and have met the other kids in town, that's when the story both picks up and grows much more interesting. I mean, it still largely falls flat around the edges, but it also starts having some personality. The set-pieces are well done, starting with Amanda's nightmare and the way she vividly describes it. Her not being able to move in the nightmare is a sticking point for me since that actually happens in real life, and it is legitimately terrifying. I know this from personal experience.

Petey's "death," or at least the kids finding him dead is also awful. I can't think of many other children's horror books (or adult horror books) that have the steel determination to actually do that and pull it off well. It's awful, but effective at being the turning point of the book.

Honestly, the second half is much better than the first at being an action piece, but the beginning is much better at having a creeping fear in the back of the mind. Both parts of the book undermine one another though, with neither coming off quite as effectively because of the other. The heavy characterizations of the first half are thrown out for action set-pieces in the second, whereas the action set-pieces are fun but are undermined by the slow-paced trudge of the first half. Many elements of the story never come back into play, for instance Kathy, Amanda's bets friend who she talks about at decent length in an early chapter, has no significance to the story besides showing up in her nightmare. The parents likewise have no real use to them, only showing up as damsels in distress at the end of the book, but having no real characterization besides that.

The cemetery, while a good set-piece, literally is never scary. There is never one moment that the cemetery is supposed to be scary. It is almost the most friendly and inviting part of the entire story, which should never be the case. It's a graveyard. They're supposed to be creepy and uninviting. Part of that is in the descriptions, which seem so strong for the nightmare and the skulls of the dead people, but seems very flat for the environments and locales. From my memory R. L. Stine fixes this very soon, but right here it's very evident that he had very odd priorities while writing this one. The transition from teenage horror and adult horror to kid horror must have been a difficult one, and this book hasn't seemed to quite hit the mark.

The story is pretty obvious. Parents and two kids move into a house supposedly left to them by a great-uncle. It's in a town called Dark Falls surrounded by shade. They meet some odd kids, see that the town is kind of dead, think that the house is haunted, and eventually are surprised when all their worst fears are realized. Their dog is killed because it can sense the dead people. And the family is ready to be put up as a sacrifice for the town, the newest dead people to enter and never leave, but Amanda and Josh save the day, the dead people are killed yet again, and they leave the house forever just as another family goes to check it out.

The twist at the end, with the question of whether or not everybody in the town is truly the at rest kind of dead, is a good one, but this town is not truly scary, and I never found investment in the story anyway.

This book is okay. It leads me to many questions about the logic of the story, but that's to be expected at times, especially with stories of this nature. I can't really use those problems as sticking points though. It would be as unfair as using cold hard logic against a Twilight Zone episode. It would unfair. And it would not be what the story was trying to do or say. Instead I focus on the parts of the Goosebumps books I used to like, and where I think this one didn't hit its marks. The characters are mostly very flat, the set-pieces, although good at times, are not consistent, and the goriness seems to be there for shock value but not really for good writing or storytelling. It's a quick, non-nonsense story that has little to offer beyond a little shock and awe and some dry characters.

As a kid, I didn't like it. As an adult, I'm not in love with it, but I see its value. It's not bad even if it has a ton of problems. The writing is mostly solid, and the issues there are seem more related to the nature of a kid's horror novel and what that means than to anything else. I think I appreciate this book slightly more now than I did as a kid, but I doubt I'd ever read it again. I don't really like it so much as tolerate it and understand its important as the first one. It's a weak book of the original series, but one worth starting out to read. They seriously can only get better from here.

Podcast!?

Hey! Cgeez (my girlfriend) and I did a podcast thing! FIND IT HERE. And here is the direct download link. We had a good time putting this one together, although it is a week or two old at this point. Finding the time to edit has been a witch-and-a-half, let me tell you. We have some more already recorded, mostly weird fanfictiony awful.

...?

That sentence made no sense in any reality. We recorded ourselves reading bad fanfiction and sometimes talking about, analyzing it and whatnot. We have at least three of those that simply need to be edited. I have no timescale for when these things will come out. I'll judge it all by interest and downloads at this point. I want to do a podcast talking about Bioshock: Infinite and going into depth about Homestuck, but we'll get there later.

Anyway, give this a listen if you are interested. We talk about our apprehension about Homestuck, how good Adventure Time is, cosplay and jerks, and relationship and woman issues. (No, not those kinds of issues, weirdo.)

And yeah. We had a good time. I had less of a good time editing it, but that's something I'll need to work on. Hopefully it isn't too embarrassing. You can also see a little behind the scenes of my life and times. I'm sure you're all very excited to hear what I sound like. I know I am.

News for Future THINGS AND STUFF 2013 Edition

Hey, everybody! I know there are a decent amount of people reading and/or looking at this blog, and I should probably mention that I certainly appreciate everybody giving this little blog their time. I spend a good deal of my time writing, either on the internet or for myself, and every comment, every view, every single person giving time and effort to the things I've written means a lot to me, even if there are disagreements. And there certainly are and will be disagreements.

But it's all cool. I give my honest opinions on things and stuff, and some of those opinions will be heavily and highly controversial. It happens, and I can take the criticisms as long as other people can understand that my opinions can't be wrong since they're opinions. I know my Homestuck reviews have blown up recently again, and the fact that people keep coming back to those always makes me happy. It almost means to me that my opinions can mean something to people, that my articulations, right, wrong, or otherwise, can have resonance. And it certainly has shown me that there seems to be every type of opinion in regards to that webcomic, and that it is incredibly important to so many people as it was to me before it became the butt of a joke. I think I may have even more I should and might write up about Homestuck, but that might be a while in the making. I have a lot of opinions of the recent stuff that I haven't touched upon as well as ideas that would probably come off as bitter. So, I really want to work on my tone, and make sure that I don't insult a single fan because they will go for the throat. (Addendum: I will probably insult fans, and no, I don't care. People should be able to take both jokes and opinions without getting haughty. I was called wrong about everything, my girlfriend was told that she should break up with me, and my writing was insulted because I deigned to criticize the literary masterpiece that is Homestuck. I know it means a lot to people, it meant a lot to me, but there are seriously a ton of things wrong with it. So, seriously, I'm going to say whatever I want, and if people take what I say the right or wrong way, then okay. No more pussyfooting around or trying to be a happy man to everybody. If you don't like what I'm writing, talk to me about it, don't just go and insult me where your opinion will be taken seriously and reinforced. That's just cowardly and infinitely amusing to me.)

Anyway, I haven't posted anything here for a little while, and I'm going to explain what I've been up to and what my plans for this blog are. While I haven't posted anything here since late March, I have been posting some reviews and criticisms on my other blog, which involves fanfiction analysis and criticism. I share that blog with my girlfriend, and we're planning on having about a review a week up there. We should be alternating on that front, so I'll only be writing two reviews a month on that blog. I also have some plans on maybe trying the podcast thing, but I simply have to find time to record and time to edit, which has been nearly impossible with my job.

Yeah, so one of the reasons this blog started slowing down with content is my job. I've been working a ton of overtime, making decent money, sure, but not having much time for anything but working, small morsels of writing, and a little video gaming on the side. I wish I had more time to write. I've been missing writing like crazy. I plan to have a BioShock Infinite review up very soon, probably by the end of the week. I've started writing it, but it has been slow-going so far. In a nutshell, I loved this game, and I'm hoping that I can grab someone else to give their opinions on the game as well. We'll see.

I'm hoping to put out about four (maybe three) reviews here a month (besides October when I want to put out 31 reviews, heaven help me), but I have to structure my time out accordingly. which has been difficult lately to say the least. I have some movies I've grabbed up recently that I've been dying to review including Calvaire, Apartment 143, Enter the Void, May, Paperhouse, The Brood, Mimic, and many, many more. So, content should be incoming shortly, just be patient. I'm hoping that by May (the month, not the movie) I can equalize myself, get used to the job, and be ready to pump out quality content.

I really, really want to start a few series reviews, including a review of the Goosebumps series, and maybe a few television series as well, episode-by-episode or book-by-book. I'd love to gauge how interested people would be in content like that, but at the same time, I want to do it regardless of interest.

I'm thrilled that Deadly Premonition has a director's cut coming out for the PS3. It is one of my favorite games of all time, and I'm seriously looking forward to better controls, since those awful game controls and fighting mechanics were easily the worst thing about the game. There seem to be some great games coming out this year. I'm really looking forward to The Last of Us, and Beyond: Two Souls, as well as Among the Sleep, and Dragon Age III. So, those will all probably have reviews up from me long after their relevancy has dimmed.

I also hope to have my ongoing series of Star Wars retrospectives continue, and there might even be another Harry Potter book review two years (or however long it's been) after the first one. I've been wanting to review a literal million of Junji Ito's works as well, so we'll see how that works out as well.

Uh, I guess I should plug a few other things as well. My Tumblr, which is terrible, but I sometimes do stupid things there. My Twitter, which I only update once every blue moon or so. And that should be it. Wait, no. If any of you have anything you'd like to request for me to review, just let me know. Comment on this or any random thing, and let me know.

Movie Appraisal: The Corridor (2010)

Well, you're not shooting blanks ANYMORE!

This movie is different. I wish I could use another descriptor here, but I simply do not have any others to use. It is a very different movie, not at all like anything else I've ever seen. While it has a fairly original premise, it's bogged down by its fairly lofty (I think...) goals. The Corridor consists of too many tonal changes, too many hectic movements without explanation. It simultaneously reminded me of the novel Dreamcatcher by Stephen King and the nonsensical movie Dreamland. It's an odd combination to be sure, and without much true plot to speak of this movie could easily be relegated to the movies to pass right on by.

I can't recommend this movie. I'll say that right now. I need to get that out of the way. I like obscure movies with original plots, but this one was just a little too much even for me. I enjoyed bits and pieces of the movie, but it was like the movie never knew what it wanted to be. Was it a clear and philosophical statement on the ramifications of mental derangement on one's friends? Was it about insanity in general? Visions specifically? Was it about friendship? I don't think so, but the case could be made, I suppose. Was it about horror? Terror? Gross out gore? I still don't know. It's all of those things and none of those things.

I didn't like the movie all that much. It moved too quickly and never really gave me more than a surface feeling of any sort of story or knowledge of what was going on. It wasn't even frustrating because I never really came to care. The characters were wholly paper-thin, with only Tyler coming out as a real human person. The rest just came off as non-characters, caricatures of what real people are. The case could be made that the entire movie was in Tyler's head. Honestly, that's the only way I can interpret it. The signs are all there, with most of the movie being spent trying to figure out what happened to him, why he broke down, and if he killed his mother or not. The premise of the film revolves around his friends becoming as crazy as he once was, each and every one of them in turn. They see what he once saw, but refuse his help. They become worse and worse, eventually succumbing to the insanity. Well, all but one, but Tyler saves him by sacrificing himself.

I have to believe that the whole thing is a speech on the degradation of mental health. Each insanity is different, but they all involve some sort of mantra, something that Tyler once had. Ev is the violent psychopath who eventually takes his own life. Chris is the one left over, the only one there was ever any hope for. He represents a friend, one who cares, one who is taken care of as he has taken care of others. Bobcat and Jim are two sides of the same coin. They are yin and yang to each other. Jim is a coward whose own intelligence feeds the insanity, while Bobcat is taken over by it, consumed by it, and allows the others to abuse him. He becomes the victim just as Jim does.

I'm reading too deeply into this, but I still think some parts are interesting. The idea of the corridor itself is fascinating. It's a conduit to a deeper understanding, the understanding of others, even the insanity inside of others. The movie is almost saying that we are not fit to hold the forbidden knowledge, rather we must understand ourselves before we can ever take a chance in understanding others. I want this movie to have some kind of meaning though, and it's hard to truly and wholly look at this movie as intelligent when so much of the movie is slow plodding through the plot, gore, or terrible special effects. While there are a few good lines, each and every one spoken by Ev, who really is the star of the movie here, very little else stands out. The visuals are nothing really special, just a snowy cabin in the woods. The sounds and music are standard, barely noticeable, background noise. The acting is mediocre, with only James Gilbert as Everett and Stephen Chambers as Tyler really standing out. They both seem to care about the movie and subsequently both give some great performances. Everett is helped by having some great lines, as I said before, while Tyler is helped by his insanity and expressions. The rest are standard horror movie actors, nothing special, just kind of there saying lines.

It had some slightly (and I mean only slightly here) disturbing things, like when Jim's scalp is taken off, but the gore is the really only noticeable creepy mention. It's not much of a horror film besides that. The movie doesn't even look like a horror film should. It's too bright, not enough contrasts. Maybe that's just me.

Anyway, I guess it does have some psychological horror elements to it, but they are so few and far between that it would be difficult to call it a psychological horror movie. It's probably closer to a sci-fi, but branding it that doesn't feel right ether. Because I don't recommend it, I find myself not caring so much about it's labeling. Call ti what you will.

This is basically a very mediocre film with some interesting, but not quite good, ideas to it. I don't think it could have been made better with the same script. The characters were bland, the writing plodding, and I simply did not care in the end. Also, the ending is hilariously bad. I laughed, and it's not meant to be funny.

Movie Appraisal: Sinister (2012)

Well, I'm not sleeping tonight.

Sinister is a terrifyingly horrific movie brought to us from the makers of Paranormal Activity and Insidious. Now, I enjoyed both of those films quite a lot, finding both all kinds of horrifying. I mean, seriously, both are incredible movies, with twists and turns and scares galore. And this one is great as well. It never disappoints, upping the horror with every subsequent scene. I mean, the characters are never brilliant, but in a movie like this it's all about the story, the visuals, the sounds, and the directing. All of those things are topnotch. Scott Derrickson does an amazing job throughout, making this an incredibly directed horror film. The Super 8 footage as well as the long scenes without any real sounds made this movie surrealistic and creepy beyond belief.

Yes, obviously this film was marketed as being terrifying. Yes, as a followup to Insidious I expected a lot. The thing is, the movie delivered. It had an unexpected and brilliant ending. It had a great performance by Ethan Hawke. It had some actually creepy performances by children, which almost never happens. Now, the visuals are not always scary, but if you can get yourself really into the movie, that's where it becomes absolutely terrifying. Just imagining a world where things like this can happen is enough to give one the shakes. And the ambiguous nature of the whole thing makes the movie that much more mysterious and awful to think about. The idea of the film is almost more terrifying than the actual execution. And the execution is plenty terrifying on its own. I wish every horror movie could reach this level of horror. If that were the case horror would be seen as a legitimate form of art in film in no time flat.

Ugh, now I just want more. I want to see more of this horror, more of the terror induced by this movie. I'm a junkie for scares, and this movie delivered enough of them to make me crave more. Seriously, there is a ton of quality here. Sure, there are some missteps and mistakes, but for the most part this movie is the real deal. It is pure horror, derived from a terrifying place in the human soul. It reaches out and creates a feeling of paranoia and real fear. It's after midnight now. I have work in the morning. But I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. If I do, I'm almost certain that every creak from my old house will remind me that anything could happen in this crazy world. If I try to sleep I can just imagine closing my eyes and hearing a whisper at the edge of my ear... or closing my eyes and seeing something staring back at me in the abyss of my eyelids.

The movie was creepy. It followed around a burned out true crime author trying to find his big break. He (and his family) moves into the home of some victims of a fairly grisly murder involving the whole family being hanged except for one of their children who happened to be abducted (or so it seems). Well, he finds some old and creepy home movies showing multiple different murders. All of them seemed to be tied to some Pagan deity or demon and a cult. All of the murders are more closely linked than that though, and the author may have made his biggest mistake in moving into the home of murder victims...

I'm just going to trail off there. He did make a huge mistake. It's a mistake that costs him much more than his life. Well, Ethan Hawke (playing the author) gives us a character we can both relate to and kind of hate. He's a big jerk throughout most of the movie. He lies. He drinks. He shouts a bit. He's annoying and unhappy and a bit apathetic. He seems to care much more about fame and fortune than about the well-being of his family. But he is passionate about a few things. He really wants to figure out the mystery of what happened to the murdered family. He does too- figure it out, I mean- but a little too late, I should think. You kind of feel bad for him at the end of the movie, but you also realize that he's not the only one who figured most of this stuff out. And at least one person knows most of the story, even if it is pretty unbelievable. It's still scary, and the ending still leaves a shiver crawling down my spine, but it's not a movie where the ending is something I absolutely hate. It makes sense and works, even if some might think it invalidates the entire movie. I don't, but I can see some people absolutely hating the ending.

The best parts of the film hands down are the sounds and music. I have to mention those things because they are nearly pitch-perfect. I have never seen a film use sound and music so effectively in its horror. That being said, the visuals never quite stand up them. I kind of wish it looked more- I don't know- horrific? Scary looking? New technology, which is used throughout the film, just simply is not a scary thing. And the bright colors and crisp picture of the non-Super 8 film just kind of shows that a clear and crisp picture does not really beget horror in the best way possible. I mean, there are some films that benefit from a beautiful picture and quality of film. Sinister is not one of those films. It's still good- very good- don't get me wrong, but it could have been better if it were made in a time when everything didn't have to look all shiny and perfect.

For example, sometimes the images of the "antagonist" just looked photoshopped in. And that just seems kind of lazy and awful to me. It doesn't ruin the movie, and it may just be my perception, but I didn't like that. The antagonist- Bughuul- is absolutely unnecessary. The children zombie-ghosts are also absolutely unnecessary. None of them are scary. None of them add any real terror to the film. The scariest parts of the movie are the unknowns things: the Super 8 videos, the ambiguous murders, and having no real reason to do the murders. The children in the "extended endings" of the videos are also brilliant. But showing everything is not brilliant. It takes away from both the premise and the mystery, and it leaves me wishing to excise the elements of the movie I didn't enjoy. But I'm nitpicking. Most of the film is incredibly good, and I recommend it wholeheartedly to any and all fans of horror.

This movie is scary. Did I mention that? I need to mention that again if I did before. Watching it alone late at night is asking to be creeped out and paranoid. It does have some moments of silliness and ridiculousness, but those are far outweighed by the moments of terror. Again, watch this if you want a scare. Yes, there will be moments where you will roll your eyes, but the quality of the horror far outweighs the awful little moments. So, if you enjoyed Insidious, The Blair Witch Project, or Paranormal Activity- or if you just like interesting horror- check this out. It's good in my opinion. It definitely brought the terror and paranoia with it. Check it out if you get the chance. I mean, come on- occult, murder, mystery, crime, and terror? How can you even go wrong?

Movie Appraisal: Hidden (Skjult) (2009)

Well, here's a movie that had a lot of promise, but ultimately gave up very little. Movies like this suck to review mostly because they have the POTENTIAL to be very fun rides, but end up being less than they should be. And it's not like they're terrible either. They're just okay. Mediocre. In some crazy middle ground between amazing and awful. Sometimes it's a bad script, sometimes it's a bad plot, a bad actor, a poorly thought-out character, a director who has no idea what they're doing, and sometimes it's simply how things work out. Hidden (or Skjult for Norwegian readers) is exactly a movie that should be more. It has so much going for it: a very well-done premise, good actors, a compelling story, and a plot heavily hovering in the realm of psychological horror. It's a movie I should LOVE, but instead I find it incredibly mediocre. Maybe it's simply that I've seen this all before and have become cynical. The movie feels lazy. And that's the problem.

Hidden begins with a car accident. A boy's parents are killed in the cold open. The boy survives (maybe), but the reason for the deaths of his parents is another boy running across the road and causing a semi truck to crash into the parents' car. You get the feeling that the first boy (who seems to be Peter) is going to be our lead character, but that turns out to not be the case (I think). The protagonist of our story is KK (Kai Koss), the boy who had run across the road and caused the accident. Apparently Peter disappeared after the accident and was called dead after shoes were found near the scene and underneath a waterfall long after.

The problem is that KK looks EXACTLY like what Peter would look like when he grew up. The boy has long blond locks. KK has the same. While the young KK has a shaved head. The older Peter (if he is Peter at all) has a shaved head as well. It's weird. I feel like it was probably done on purpose, but I can't say for sure it was. It's a movie that explains very little, which I like a lot, but the things it does explain turn out to have really idiotic explanations (I think). And that's the problem. The movie did do a lot very good, but other parts were baffling. I personally think that the original KK was killed by the abusive and disturbed mother after he escaped. Eventually Peter, who later became KK, in this case the second KK, after the mother caught him, came back to the town after his "mother" died. I mean, that's what I think, but I can't say anything for sure. The movie doesn't hit you over the head with it, so it's really up to what you want to think.

You can see my confusion here. I'm sorry. Parts of this movie made little sense. There is a dark-haired woman who I'm pretty sure isn't real. I don't know if she's a random singer or something? I'm told she speaks in Swedish, but I have no idea what that means. Maybe she was the original mother of Peter? Or just an actress? Or maybe she was just an imaginary friend he made up for company in the darkened hole he lived in for years. Again, I don't know.

The funny thing is, while I wasn't happy with the ending of the movie when I first saw it, it's something I'm liking more and more as time goes by. I actually like the movie more now (a few days later) than when I had originally watched it. Maybe I'm the crazy one. I still don't like how KK and Peter are somehow the same person and the murderer, but I'll probably get over it someday. (Read: I will never get over it. It's really dumb. I disliked it, and it should have been better.)

I found parts of the movie interesting. Why was KK looked at with such scorn by basically everybody? Only Sara seemed to like him and give him any benefit of the doubt. And she seemed to like him a lot. All of the men in town hated his guts. Why? Did I miss something? Was there some kind of history there? I have no idea. It was weird. I have no reference for anything and have no idea how to interpret it.

I mean, KK is the killer. It's obvious. Maybe that's why nobody likes him.

Sorry, did I say that too abruptly? It was abrupt in the movie too. KK is said to be the killer. Some kind of weird fugue state probably. Maybe he dissociates? Maybe he knows he's doing it? I have no idea. It's probably brought on by his old house. But man, it makes no sense. Maybe it's not supposed to make any sense. I would've preferred if he weren't the killer... but maybe it makes the movie better if he's both Peter and the killer. I don't know. I just don't know. I don't so, but maybe I'm not who this movie was made for.

The best part of the movie are the psychological scenes though. They're not scary, but their simple weirdness is enough to enjoy by themselves. The phone calls, the odd scenes of KK just by himself and thinking or whatever, and the weird interactions between characters- these are all reasons to see the movie. Just expect to find yourself baffled if you do watch it. I mean, I put a halfhearted recommendation out there. If you REALLY live for psychological horror/thriller, then watch this. Otherwise... it's not required watching, but it's not bad either. I enjoyed most of it. Just remember, it's not scary. There's very little gore. In general, I would think of this flick as much more of a suspense or thriller with psychological elements than anything else. And those always seem a little "eh," I guess.

Pål Øie directs, and does a pretty decent job. I think the long periods without dialogue are some of the best pieces of the film. They work incredibly well. They add to the confusion, but those long moments of suspense and confusion could be small beautiful movies on their own. The dialogue and the writing are mostly not as good. And this being an indie horror film from the After Dark Horrorfest 2010, I was expecting good things. I usually enjoy them, although they usually have some issues. See my review of Autopsy for details. 

Honestly, I liked the film, didn't love it. Kristoffer Joner as KK, Karin Park as Miriaim, and Cecilie A. Mosli as Sara are the breakouts here. I tend to like these Eurpoean horror movies. They do a good job at hitting what I like. This one wasn't quite as great as some, but I was okay with it. I wish I could say more, but I don't really have anything else to say.

Movie Appraisal: Brick (2005)

Here I go away from horror movies again, and this time I'm into something a little different for me. I guess you could say I've been in a different phase of late, trying new things and having a good time all around. Now, I know Brick is a relatively obscure movie. I certainly had never heard of Brick before, or of Rian Johnson, the film's director. Now, if you recognize that name at all, you probably recognize it from Looper, a  recent movie I haven't seen but have heard excellent things about. The problem is that Brick was Rian Johnson's directorial debut, and what a debut it was. I say "the problem" because I will never remember Rian Johnson for Looper, no matter how good it may or may not be. I will instead remember him for Brick, forever and always.

Brick is an incredibly interesting film, basically a high school drama/thriller with some comedic elements done in the style of 1940s era film noir movies. That's not saying the movie looks or acts like a film noir, not exactly. Instead the movie is a little inconsistent (This is not a bad thing.), with dialogue and characters very reminiscent of film noir, but situations and settings consistent with an entirely different movie, something more like a teenage drama, comedy, or thriller (if the teenage thriller genre even exists, which I'm pretty sure it doesn't). I love early film noir, stuff like The Big Sleep, The Maltese Falcon, The Postman Always Rings Twice, and basically anything and everything that starred either Humphrey Bogart or John Garfield in that era of film. These movies defined that era, defined an entire age, and became the centerpiece of what a male, a hardboiled male, really was. I know it's a gender role and whatnot, but man, how can you not like to watch Humphrey Bogart being snappy with dialogue and cool with women? And how can a man not want to emulate that? I know I did/do. It's hard to see a more masculine man, to me at least.

But Brick is different, very different, WHOLLY different, from those kinds of films. It fits a little bit better as a neo-noir, but even that is a tough place to define it. It takes the genre apart certainly, but it also stands absolutely brilliantly on its own, simultaneously showing the hardships of high school life and the relative ease and childishness of it as well. It nearly compares a high school kid's problems to that of a tough no-nonsense detective, and the results are... interesting to say the least. I really enjoyed the juxtaposition between those two very different kinds of people. I enjoyed how Brendan, our protagonist, went about solving his problems in both a straightforward and highly convoluted manner. He simultaneously made things more difficult for himself while also doing the very best he could to determine the best outcome available to him. The movie had all the regular tropes of a film noir: the femme fatale, the antihero detective, the intelligent and informed friend, the boss of some kind of shady organization, a wrongly accused person, being set up, and manipulation all over the place. All of these things help make this movie more enjoyable with every moment you watch it.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt shines as the main character Brendan Frye. I've always liked the man as an actor, and he doesn't disappoint here, bringing full life to this character and to the situations of the story. He is believable and works well as a person both resourceful and intelligent. I don't know if I've ever seen another performance by him that I've liked anywhere near as much. And I've liked him in a fair few roles. The fact that he states the dialogue, often very noir-ish dialogue, with such conviction is a point in his (and this movie's) favor. The humorous, and often unsettling, thing about this movie is that despite the dialogue, the characters act very much like high school kids. Despite what they do, what they say, and everything else, there is a constant reminder that they are young, with Brendan telling his friend "Brain" important information all while dancing around and balancing on top of a wall. Or an important meeting happening over a drug kingpin's mother making cookies and giving Brendan something to drink.

It's almost surreal in a way, certainly comparable to The Third Man, which I often cite as one of the oddest movies of this type from the film noir era. Brick moves at such an odd pace, but never feels bad. You never question the quality, even if the situations are almost ridiculous- or are certainly ridiculous.

I have to mention Zora Zehetner's performance as Laura Dannon, the classic film-noir woman, as being one of the highlights of this film. She simulteously makes you hate her and love her with her performance. There was never a moment I didn't enjoy her on screen. Her acting was brilliant from beginning to end. The last few scenes she's in with Brendan are some of the very best, if not the very best, of this movie, if not almost all other neo-noir films in general. I don't think I've ever felt so sorry for a high school girl character before while despising her in the same breath. Noah Fleiss as Tug is amazing as well, really showing a performance worthy of praise. He has a look in his eyes the entire movie that shrieks DANGER to me as the viewer. There was never a single moment I trusted his character, but I loved the way that character was portrayed. He was sympathetic even if he was also despicable and terrifying. I also very much enjoyed the performances by Meagan Good as Kara and Noah Segan as Dode. Both characters added a great deal to the movie and character motivations. Kara, especially, becomes one of the best nearly sociopathic characters I have ever seen in a movie. And the sad thing is, when I was in drama club back in high school, I knew girls just like her, girls who would do nearly anything to get ahead. Dode is also a wonderful character, showing yet another social clique in the high school environment and representing that very well.

And that's one of the best things about this movie, while a film noir, it shows high school cliques and groups as well as any movie I've ever watched before. The accuracy of that depiction, despite the dialogue, is astounding. Honestly, the characters, social moments, dialogue, and settings are really the high points of the movie. The plot is pretty well done also, but never quite reaches the upper pinnacle of storytelling. It is well done, sometimes predicable, but also has elements of surprise to it. I kind of wish Emily, Brendan's ex-girlfriend, wasn't shown to be dead in the opening of the movie, which occurs in medias res. I think it would have been more surprising to see her show up dead without pre-knowledge of her death and more impacting besides. That being said, the way the movie is structured is clearly referential to earlier film noir, so it's not something I can complain about all that much.

This movie is literally brilliant from beginning to end. It's a movie for somebody who's looking for something different: great acting, an obviously indie film, and mostly a really good juxtaposition between ideas that don't usually go together. I can't really say much else. I recommend that everybody check this out. I also have to say that I wouldn't have ever even heard about this movie if not for seeing a fantastic preview trailer for this film before I watched Doom. It's pretty rare that a trailer makes me want to watch a movie, but Brick's trailer was so amazingly well done, I had no choice but to find this film at any cost and watch it. I suggest that anybody can watch this film an enjoy it. It doesn't have a lot of gore, no nudity, a few blood stains and such, but nothing really all that terrible. The dialogue alone is worth the price of the movie, and the performances are worth even more. While it's a bit of an oddball movie, it's one that really needs to be watched. It's deconstruction of both high school and noir is a pleasure to behold.

I also get the feeling that the movie might leave a few confused. Don't be. It's relatively easy to understand. A girl, Emily, is seeking help from her loner of an ex-boyfriend. She trusts him to look after her even if she doesn't love him anymore. She asks for help, and he does what he can even after she tells him to leave her alone. He is committed to helping her in anyway he can because he still cares about her despite himself. She shows up dead at a meeting place, and Brendan, our protagonist, hides the body and starts investigating anybody Emily could have been involved with, eventually leading him to a drug lord called "The Pin," a gang leader called "Tug," and a high school girl who has her own motives by the name of Laura. The central point of the film is for Brendan to find who killed Emily and to get even. He eventually learns that she was set up, being implicated in stealing a brick (of the title) of heroin from "The Pin." He also learns that Emily was with a bunch of different guys, Tug and Dode included, and that she was more than likely pregnant, which was the reason, on top of other things, why she was killed. The last moments of the film are spent on Brendan getting even with the person who ultimately set Emily up in the first place, and it is an amazing scene. I'm not giving spoilers out. Go watch the movie if it sounds interesting and you haven't seen it yet. It's good enough to not be spoiled.

And... yeah. That's about it. It was a wonderful movie, far outside my expertise in reviewing, but also really a great watch. It is probably one of the very best films I've seen in quite a long time, and easily the best non-horror/non-franchise film I've seen in quite a while.

Check it out. Seriously.

Movie Appraisal: Doom (2005)

While I can see exactly why Doom, directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, has gone down in history as a pretty bad video game movie (and a pretty disregarded movie in general), I'm going to express my disapproval with that assessment. Yes, this movie has mostly negative thoughts thrown around about it (with good reason). Yes, the acting is never really all that good. Yes, the story is fairly terrible to say the least. And yes, the music is downright awful. There are many more negatives I could say, and will say, about this film, but those are the starters before the main course. The visuals never really look right, seeming very much like an action film trying very hard to be a horror film in both visuals and tone. The problem is that the film never elevates itself. It never grows to a better level of movie. While there is a lot to enjoy about this film, there is very little to objectively like. It had its heart in the right place: no CGI monsters, prosthetics, practical effects, and some decent actors. But the movie just wasn't all that well done anyway. See, I still enjoyed it even with its obvious flaws, but I do not begrudge anybody who thinks that this film is garbage.

None of those things, those problems, make it a bad movie. It's simple. It's quick. And for some unknown reason it is one hell of an entertaining flick. I was engrossed by it, taken in by the simple story, the simple characters, and the simple premise. Sure, I (admittedly) have a soft spot for movies like this. I can't say I don't. But whatever my feelings about movies like this are, I still found this one compelling enough to enjoy and halfheartedly recommend for enjoyment purposes.

There are many more things wrong with this movie than right with it. The characters are one-dimensional, all introduced quickly, without fanfare. The audience is just expected to know the characters and like them. The story moves at a breakneck speed, never slowing down for a moment, even if parts of the story make no sense whatsoever. Maybe that's why it moves so quickly, so it can lose the audience to intense scenes, flashes of light, and blood. I was taken in. I can't say I wasn't. So, I guess it might have worked for me at least if that was the intent. While it is a terrible adaptation of the video game Doom, a terrible horror movie (if it was ever trying to be one at all), and too fast -paced for itself, it still is a good action film with some genuinely thrilling moments, and some wonderful expressions from The Rock.

Karl Urban and Raz Adoti, playing John "Reaper" and "Duke" respectively, are the only good actors here. They both do such a great job in their roles that their performances really helped make this movie an enjoyable experience for me. Karl Urban especially has always been one of my favorite relatively unknown actors. He gets great parts and always seems to give every role his all. I really hope he goes somewhere. He seems to be getting somewhere slowly and surely. I hope it continues. He really is a gem of an actor. His performance in this movie was excellent, probably the only truly genuinely "good" thing about this movie. Raz Adoti as "Duke" was just fun to watch. I was hoping he wouldn't die in the end. Obviously, he did. He had a truly excellent personality, and his scenes were genuinely thrilling and suspenseful.

The other actors were pretty bad. No, they weren't historically bad, but none of them were good. Most of them were simply mediocre. I enjoyed Richard Brake as Portman and Dexter Fletcher as Pinky, though neither of them precisely "acted" in a traditional sense. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson should have been good, even could have been good, but his hammy performance, although fun, was probably the worst of the entire movie. His eyebrows helped make the movie memorable, at least. That's saying something.

I have no idea what else to even say. There is a lot wrong with this movie. The first-person sequence towards the end of the film, although kind of fun, was also so very cheesy. The whole plot about how the "demons" came to be was also pretty stupid. Genetic research? Really? Why make the plot so complicated when all the filmmakers had to say was that these were demons from hell? Why bring pseudoscience into this? It's absolutely bizarre, but in the movie the science and discovery are treated like something the audience should already know everything about. It's such an odd thing, the pacing, the way the story is told. I can't for the life of me think of any other standalone movie that has the same strange breakneck pace in introducing its own characters and premises. Maybe Aliens? No. Even that movie had a pretty lengthy prologue. This film literally expects you to know these characters before they're introduced, to sympathize with them before you have a chance to know them.  It's weird, almost as if this movie were a sequel to another that had introduced them first. It's the only way I can explain it.

Anyway, I kind of wish they had ditched the story about the genetic research. That was truly very stupid. As a person who has more than a cursory knowledge about genetics (I went to school for it as a matter-of-fact.) they really should have stuck with hell and demons. Those are very simple to understand.

But, for all the many negatives, I still enjoyed this movie. It was a fun "turn-your-brain-off" kind of flick. It was as entertaining as I made it. And that's really what it all comes down to. I liked many of the sequences after the lightspeed introduction, and that's about all there is to it. The main monster was well done, the dark scenes in the sewers were actually harrowing. I loved the medical autopsy scenes as well. They actually gave the film some character of its own beyond the mindless space marine plot. The actors seemed like they were having fun for the most part too- well, all of them but Rosamund Pike playing John's sister Samantha. She had an expression of surprise on her face the entire movie, and her acting was literally painful to watch most of the time. As one of the few females in the movie, and the only one with significant screen time, her performance was pretty pitiful and rarely enjoyable at all. While she did get better the longer the movie went on, her first few scenes made me wince every time she was onscreen. She looked like she was not having a good time at all in the first half of this movie.

So, yeah, I'll recommend this movie for a good time. Don't expect anything, and it will probably surprise you. Expect a lot, and you'll be incredibly disappointed. Have fun with it. Don't take it seriously. I know I didn't, and it was a truly fun experience, even though the movie was not great.

Video Game Assessment: Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (2013)

Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch is an interesting game. While game reviewers and critics alike have mostly been giving it a pass as a wonderful and beautiful game in the style of classic and hardcore JRPGs, I'm going to have to disagree. Just slightly. Ever so slightly. This game is beautiful, gorgeous, and any other synonym that you can think of in that vein. It has wonderful gameplay, a great story, and great characters... but, look, I'm NOT a fan of JRPGs. I really don't like them very much. Sure, I can see the influence on this game from older JRPGs and newer ones, I suppose, but calling it only a game for hardcore JRPG-lovers is belittling this game so much. Honestly, any reviewer that says that this game is only good for those who love or are nostalgic for JRPGs should be ashamed of themselves and give up their reviewer status.

I can't even believe that people would overlook this game, this wonderful, unique, and beautiful game because critics and reviewers go and say stupid and inane crap that is LITERALLY UNTRUE like this game is only built for hardcore JRPG fans or that this game is a GRINDFEST or that it relies too much on the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP TROPES.

You know what? I'm going to go off script a little here and say something I don't usually say in my reviews: Screw you, you pieces of garbage, for going and belittling one of the best new IP games to come out in a good few years. Screw you for calling this a game only for hardcore JRPG gamers. While, yes, those JRPG game players would probably enjoy this game very much, this is a game for basically anybody. Any person who likes any genre can pick this game up and enjoy it. Oh, you like games because of story? Well, this is the game for you. Oh, you like games for tight gameplay? This is the game for you. Oh, you just want something intelligent to pass the time? Play this game. Seriously, if you have the ability to play this game and you pass it up because some piece of crap game reviewer went and said it isn't the game for you, then shame on you for listening to those idiots, shame on them for saying it in the first place, and shame on you AGAIN for not giving this game the chance it deserves.

It is a rare game that will give out FREE DLC, and an even rarer one that OFFERS to give out free DLC without people complaining. The people involved in this game, and the decision of offering the free DLC should be commended to the fullest. So, thank your lucky stars for Studio Ghibli, Level-5, and Namco Bandai for actually having the gonads to stand up to current gaming market politics and greed and do something that actual makes the cynical gamer within me smile. I don't care if the DLC is basically nothing or if it's just a simple thing. It is the thought that counts in the case. You don't see Electronic Arts offering that kind of free DLC without being prodded to do so by an angry public, nor do you see Activision, Square Enix, or any of the other big publishers even thinking about it. So, yes, this needs to be mentioned, and all of those involved with making this wonderful game should be thanked for being able to take the risk. Thank you, all of you, for doing this, and for making this game in the first place. I really hope that this game both sells well and does well. It deserves it, and it is also one of the few games that I truly do think deserves that honor. If more games like this existed the world, and the gaming community as a whole, would be a better place. I have no idea how games could be blamed for violence when this is one of the games that people are looking at.

I know a lot of my comments up there were probably unnecessary in reviewing this game, but I needed to air out my opinions. I get that there are a lot of people who will probably dislike this game because it is a JRPG in their minds, but seriously, if a person is going to be that close-minded, then just stop. Stop playing games. Stop reading this review. Just stop, because you are not making anything better with that kind of attitude. I had that kind of attitude once, and it shut me off from a great deal of things I could have enjoyed, and did enjoy much later. So, seriously, stop with the annoyed stubborn hatred, and just play a wonderful game. You'll thank me if you read this and listen to me... which I doubt many people will, but I guess I'll never know until I post this, huh?

So, anyway, let's get started. Ni no Kuni is, simply stated, an amazing and wonderful game from start to finish. The plot is nearly pitch-perfect. If you've ever watched a Studio Ghibli anime you already know what to expect. It definitely takes pages out of the books of almost all of their different anime, but reminded me the most of Spirited Away. The stories, although both are very different, seem to hit similar notes, even if this game is about thirty times longer than that anime. Ni no Kuni finds a perfect tone throughout the story, evoking both laughter and tears as the plot progresses. It might not seem like much, but the cute world that Ni no Kuni resides in makes those tragic moments even harder to bear. And the funny thing is how those tragic moments can turn into sweet moments so easily... and how one second you can be wondering how such a cute game can make you cry, then the next moment you can be laughing at a clever pun that the game makes. There is a mood dissonance there, but it works, and it works so well that it is amazing to behold.

There is also something else I have to compare this game to. Have you ever heard of The Talisman (and Black House) by Stephen King and Peter Straub? The Talisman is VERY similar to Ni no Kuni, especially at the beginning of both stories. They both share similar elements with each other, like the idea of shared souls between two worlds and a story about a boy trying desperately to save his mother. Honestly, the stories were so close that I have to wonder if The Talisman has any influence at all on Ni no Kuni. Probably not, but still, the similarities at the beginning of both stories are difficult to ignore.

The biggest complaints I've seen are about the JRPG aspects of the game and the level grinding, both of which I'll talk about here. First, while this game is a JRPG and shares similarities to early Final Fantasy games and other early JRPG games, it is also fairly different from them. I have played a fair few JRPGs, and if you don't include some of the early Pokemon games as JRPGs, I have never actually finished a single one of them. My favorite TRUE JRPG had been Final Fantasy IX, a game that shares many similarities with Ni no Kuni. There are some pretty deep similarities, for instance how the map is traveled (although this is probably pretty standard for games of this type). The characters are also pretty similar and hit similar points, and the world is not too far off between the two games. But there are discrepancies. While Final  Fantasy IX is a wonderful game with stellar characters, it does have some pretty cruddy plot moments. Even some of the characters are not amazing, with certain party characters being much less there than others. Freya springs to mind in this case. Or Amarant for most of the game. Or Quina. What the hell did Quina ever even do? I know they all have their moments, and I am by no means dissing this aspect of Final Fantasy IX, rather I am elevating Ni no Kuni past that. There are NO BAD CHARACTERS in Ni no Kuni. None of the main characters are badly done, with each having their moments, and each having a reason to continue on. None of the antagonists are one-dimensional cackling evil-dudes either. Each has a story, a character, and a reason. And that's a huge reason why I find this game so alluring. There is depth here that is lacking from many JRPGs (in my opinion), and for that reason alone it should not simply be thrown into the bargain bin JRPG label.

I also have to say that the two main antagonists of the game: the White Witch of the title and Shadar, the Dark Djinn, are both brilliant characters with a lot to offer. Their stories as well as the stories that surround them are some of the high points of the game for me.

The second complaint is level-grinding and I'm simply going to say one word: "Toko." Seek out the Toko genus of enemy familiars. If you do that (and it's not that hard to find them) you can level up incredibly quickly. In about fifteen minutes of "grinding" I leveled up about fifteen levels. And just a bit more "grinding" brought me all the way to far beyond a level I could easy dominate the rest of the game. Look, I usually hate grinding. I hate it in Pokemon, and hated it in Final Fantasy IX. I hated it so much in that game that I'm literally stuck right before the final boss because I refuse to go and grind twenty levels so I can be ready to fight. It shouldn't have to be like that. A game should never be designed to where if I want to progress in the plot I have to grind for hours to get to that "level." Ni no Kuni bypasses this, offering an easy way to level your character and familiars up without the need of heavy grinding. It is simple, quick, and without any real downsides. Usually you have to fight the enemies anyway, specifically if you want to catch them (like Pokemon, and since Familiars are basically Pokemon anyway the comparison stands), so what's so bad about looking around for a fairly easy to find enemy to level up quickly? It seems that anybody who mentions what a "grind" this game is never mentions how easy it actually is to level up. Maybe they never found the little enemies that level you up quickly. I found one simply by exploring the world. The first time it ran out of battle I was intrigued, then started pursuing them until I finally gained its mighty experience. It was as easy as that. And the experience surprised and thrilled me enough that it convinced me this was the easiest way of leveling up. AND IT WAS. How a reviewer can review a game without exploring the world and finding as much as possible is beyond me. I will never understand it. I love that most of them gave this game wonderful scores, but I HATE HATE HATE how many of the reviews I read through also seemed to have to mention grinding and JRPGs, both of which belittle this game to no end and turn off customers who might have bought this if not for those labels.

Look, reviewers who probably will never read this blog or this review, let's get something straight. Your JOB is not to go and review a game as quickly as possible, hitting the plot notes but forgetting the game. Your JOB is to give a thorough and well done review, a review for people who MAY be interested in the game, a review for those who ARE interested in the game, and a review for people who HAVE NO IDEA what the game even is. But you can't cut corners. Yes, there are time limits, but a good reviewer learns everything about a game, learns that there are ways to level up quickly, learns to not just label a game as a JRPG without realizing what an implication that is to game players like myself who largely dislike that genre of game. See, I took a chance with this game, despite the reviews I read. I was turned off by those reviews. I was willing to wait, willing to not pick this game up because it didn't seem like something I would enjoy. Then I thought something to myself. My thought was as follows: "I took a chance on watching Spirited Away back in the time period where I absolutely hated everything to do with anime. I took a chance to watch it because the story sounded interesting, and I was interested in trying something new. I wasn't expecting to like it. Hell, people were basically telling me I wouldn't like it because I don't enjoy anime. But you know what? It blew me away, becoming one of my favorite movies of all time. It was brilliant and beautiful, and I was almost so close-minded that I could have missed out on something that literally changed my life. I took a chance on Studio Ghibli, and they didn't let me down. They've never let me down, from Castle in the Sky to Ponyo I have fallen in love with every movie I've seen by them. Each has left a mark on me that I cannot remove. They've proven to me time and again that they can make quality, and I have to have faith that this game will be the same."

I bought the game, not because of any reviews, not because of anything I had heard about the game. Yes, I had been interested in it for a while, but there was never a guarantee I would buy it, certainly not at a $60 price tag. But Studio Ghibli had proven to me how amazing they were. And I bought it because of that. And it was one of the best games I've ever played. It gave me everything I could have wanted: wonderful characters like Mr. Drippy, a Welsh Lord High Lord of the Fairies, and Oliver, the main character with an absolute heart of gold who never deserved the rough hand he was dealt. It had a plot that was literally tragic and beautiful all at the same time, with the antagonists being so much more than I could have ever hoped for. No, I won't spoil anything, but I never expected such brilliant and beautiful stories from faceless antagonists... but then again I should have remembered No-Face and what he meant in Spirited Away. And then there's the gorgeous world, a world that looks more beautiful than almost any other game I have ever seen or played. It's rivaled only by the best of the best in Skyrim, Mass Effect, Half-Life, and Silent Hill. Other than those series (or games) nothing else comes close to the beauty and wonder of the visual of Ni no Kuni. The sound is also fantastic, with music by Joe Hisaishi, a long-time collaborator with Studio Ghibli. He has made such memorable and beautiful music for this game. I have to give special mention for the music while riding the dragon, the main theme, and some of the background music when certain late plot points are happening. They are integrated beautifully into the game, and  they work to make it have one of the best all around soundtracks in a game since Nier.

And you want to know something? This game compares favorably to Nier. Keep in mind that Nier is one of my all-time favorite games and you might just be starting to think how much I truly fell in love with Ni no Kuni. I'm glad it has gotten a lot of love so far. I only wish the reviewers hadn't stuck it in a genre without any thought or foresight. I also wish they wouldn't say such terrible things about a leveling system that works quite well and never needs to be "grind-heavy."

I want to say so much more. I want to spoil the game wide open and scream to the world why I think this is one of the best games ever made. I want to say how it improves upon the Pokemon formula (for it indeed does essentially have the gameplay of a 3D Pokemon game, although that is also simplifying things quite a bit). I want to say how much I love all of the characters, all of the plot, all of the everything about this game. I want to say how one twist in the game legitimately brought me to tears, me a manly bearded man, tearing up at a game that could easily be played by any given child. I can't even remember the last game I truly was brought to tears by. Maybe it's never even happened before. I have no idea. I can't remember. But this game did it. The happy moments made those tragic ones all the more biting. And those tragic moments made the happy and carefree ones all the more poignant. It's a world I could live in for the rest of my days, playing and playing until I lose myself in that other world forever. But sadly, while Oliver's adventures with Esther, Swaine, Mr. Drippy, and the rest continue in the story that I feel has no real end, my days of playing it are over for now. I only wish I had the time to relive the experience all over again... but the real world calls, and I have to be off.

My final words about Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch are that it should be played by everyone. It deserves that much. It's very sad that this game is only available to PS3 owners, but I also have to hope that EVERY PS3 owner will go and buy this game, and maybe the game will even convince people who don't have the system to go buy it for this game. It's worth it, let me tell you. This is a game that (while worth $60) has no real monetary value when it comes to what it's TRULY worth. It's priceless in its storytelling and characters. And it is priceless in what it now means to me. Do yourself a favor and either go play this game right now or go watch a Let's Play of it at the very least. It deserves to be known if only because it is that good.