Movie Appraisal: Lo (2009)

Sometimes when you have a bad week like I just had, you need to settle down with a weird, insane, and incredibly entertaining film. Lo, directed by Travis Betz, as you might guess, is that very film this time around. I don't know how to say all that much about this film except it is a very odd ride, unexpected with a sad and poignant payoff. Movies like this intrigue me all the way through. It is because they are unique and tell a story that is incredibly unmarketable, but also simply amazing.

Lo is one of those rare films that comes along every once in a while, with a small budget, no names in the cast- an independent film that says something on a deeper level than you expect. While it doesn't start off swinging, the movie hits hard by the end, with each set-piece of the story telling the story in a very unique way. One thing that I found really cool was the way that the whole thing was set up like a stage play, a musical, a dance number, and a very poignant and ultimately ill-fated love story.

The story is pretty decent, but it takes a while to really get going. And although there is a real feeling to the story, its pacing and characters do leave something to be desired at times. It's probably mostly the acting, which is all over the place. It's one of the failings of the movie, and there's no other way to put that out there. When I started watching the movie, I was very put off, even wondering at the time if I should continue watching it. While it does get much better, the first twenty minutes or so are rough, and I would completely understand if people decided to not take a chance with it after that.

But in taking the chance you find a wonderful personal little story, with acting that is pretty decent towards the end and a plot that holds up under scrutiny, perhaps because of its simplicity. I like the demons and the main character (sort of, although his silly faces are completely idiotic at times). The whole story about a man using a crazy evil book thing to summon a demon to find his girlfriend who was dragged down to hell is something mixed between Evil Dead II and Joss Whedon's supernatural television shows.  The humor is all pervasive, although completely inappropriate for the tone at times. It works every once in a while, but most of the time it's very awkward, barely forcing a smile at all, much less a guffaw.

The make-up is one of the highlights of Lo, really showing off what inexpensive made-up demons can actually look like. I had a very Joss Whedon vibe from the costumes and demons, specifically from Jeez. He could have literally just stepped out of Angel and I wouldn't have even batted an eye. The film looks good all around, but the lack of a budget does show, with the sets being minimal at best and the filming being more closely akin to a stage play than an actual film.

The characters here, mostly a collection of demons and damned souls, are interesting but ultimately paper-thin. You see the plot, the whole plot, by the ending, which gives the demons and what Lo the demon is doing some context, making the whole thing make more sense in general. Lo really is the highlight of the film, his character and his acting are both the most believable and the most entertaining. Like the title implies, the titular character is essential for any sort of enjoyment of this movie. Jeremiah Berkitt, who plays Lo, gives off a fantastic performance in general as the crippled demon. The other actors do competent jobs, but none of them really stand out like he does. The other characters, a waiter, two damned souls, Jeez the Nazi demon thing, and the main character Justin are all a bunch of cliches and Whedon-esque pieces of this movie. And the girlfriend character is something else. Most of the "humor" of the movie stems from her, even if she has the hardest time with comedic timing.

This leads me to talk about the setting in general. Not the black room where Justin has locked himself to do the ritual, but the flashback scenes. These are done so uniquely, put on as stage plays with supporting characters just off in the wings waiting for their cues to come on. This is the bread-and-butter of the movie, and easily the most entertaining part of it as well. The tragedy and comedy faces, the breaking of the fourth wall, and the focus on stage techniques to pull of some great moments actually works in the film's advantage. So, for a threadbare production, it actually comes off quite well. I do admit that I wish it had been a theatrical production to see rather than a movie. It feels more of that ilk and would probably work much better as that. But the movie stands well on its own merits. All-in-all I can't complain all that much.

I don't know what else to say. While I enjoyed the movie quite a bit while watching it, the flaws have shown themselves since then. I see them pretty significantly, but that doesn't take my enjoyment of watching the film away. I liked it all right, but I have no idea if I could ever recommend this to anybody who didn't like small budget indie productions that are not in any way a big form movie. I guess it could be considered horror-comedy maybe? Although that doesn't quite work either. I don't know if I could rightly call this horror. It feels more like a supernatural and tragic romantic comedy. I guess? Man, that's a ton of qualifiers...

Anyway, for most this is not the movie for you. While I liked it, it gives off a bad impression from the get-go. The acting is rough at times. The comedy sometimes feels forced. And it's about a love story, which is always a reason to avoid a movie. (I jest... but seriously, I dislike most romance movies.) There's a ton working against this movie, but I actually really liked it. While it's not perfect, it succeeds at both entertaining and doing something different. I liked the story for what it was and the presentation for what it did. There are probably a ton of better movies out there, but this one I liked well enough. If you're looking for something incredibly odd and out of the ordinary, maybe you can try this one, just don't say I didn't warn you about Justin's ridiculous faces or the first twenty minutes of this film being very hard to get through.

Movie Appraisal: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

So, this is basically SCP Foundation: The Movie. Yup. Uh-huh. Okay.

Okay, this review is done. You can go now.




Seriously, stop reading, I have nothing else to say.





Nothing else to say here. Doo doo-doo doo-doo. You can stop bothering me now. I said my peace. Said it all in fact. My full thoughts are up there. You should be thankful I wrote any words at all you ungrateful weirdos. So get out of here. Go make a sandwich or something. Some potato salad maybe. Or just go read the entire SCP Foundation website. I'm sure they'd enjoy that. But you can leave this review alone now. Yeah...








Oh, fine... FIIIIIINE... You want me to write words that you will read then I'll do that, but you'll live to regret those words more than likely.

I liked this movie a lot. It was a fun movie all the way through. Sure, there are hiccups from time-to-time and the plot is all kinds of complicated... but it works pretty well in general... even if it works better as a comedy than a horror movie, which is somewhat disappointing. Don't go into this movie expecting the scares and the jumps. It's a movie that relies much more on dialogue and set-pieces then it ever will on the actual horror of the situation despite the fact that this movie is obviously a play on common horror movies and horror tropes.

Now, do all those things make the movie good or bad? Well, that's really up to the watcher of the film, but I found it fairly compelling for the most part... although the "horror movie" portion of the plot is much less compelling than the office job portion. Basically I was more interested in the SCP: The Movie than I was at the actual victims of the whole convoluted premise. I wanted to hear so much more about the lives and working atmosphere of the guys who are in the office environment than I wanted to see the horror movie stuff play out. I honestly thought that having the movie continue on from its almost fake ending of all of the sacrifices working out would have been much more interesting. Maybe not for most audiences, but I think I would have found that much better in literally every way.

I seem to be talking a ton about what this movie isn't rather than what it is, and the problem is, although I liked this flick, I really keep thinking about how easily it could have been better. The last minute of this film left me with a bad taste in my mouth as well, probably because of the inexplicable actions of the two characters left alive as well the very last image, which completely severed any emotional investment I would have had in the plot. I know this is an old Joss Whedon trick, and I simply thought it wasn't as fun or as good as other ideas that I could just come up with now. That being said, it is Joss Whedon, and I was expecting something like this as soon as I understood what the "twist" was. It still doesn't mean I love it... but it was okay.

The movie is basically easily separated into thirds. The first third being the lead up to the horror with the college kids of Dana (played by Kristen Connolly), Curt (played by Chris Hemsworth), Jules (played by Anna Hutchison), Marty (played by Fran Kranz), and Holden (played by Jesse Williams) all going to Curt's cousin's cabin in the woods. (There's a title drop there by the way. Just so you know.) Now each of these five characters represent an archetype in these kinds of films despite the fact that not all of them represent their archetype in question at the beginning of the film. Jules seems to be a rather intelligent and self-conscious girl despite being labelled as "the Whore" by the movie. The controllers drug her to make her more likely to engage in lewd behavior. She does and is promptly killed for showing her breasts and getting physical with her boyfriend. Curt is an intelligent student who becomes "the Athlete," essentially becoming a makeshift leader to the group. Holden, a much more jockish character towards the beginning, becomes "the Scholar" as it is learned that he knows Latin and is fairly intelligent. Marty is always "the Fool," but mostly in the Tarot definition of the Fool as a wild card. And finally there is Dana who is "the Virgin" despite not being a virgin at all. But they have to "work with what they've got."

While the kids are all introduced the operators are as well. The most prominent of these are Richard Jenkins as Gary Sitterson, Bradley Whitford as Steve Hadley (the mer-man guy), Brian White as the military guy Daniel Truman, and Amy Acker as Wendy Lin, a chemistry lady. These characters are the most compelling to me, being both the most easily related to, and the most easily liked. Look, nobody likes college kids, not even the college kids. I'm a college kid and I can say without a doubt that I have no liking of college kids. So, the "lead" characters are far and beyond the least likable in the movie. I won't say they deserve what they get, but I wasn't really sorry for any of their deaths or potential deaths. Whereas I felt pretty down as all the operators were killed off in the final act. They were morally ambiguous certainly, but they were trying to do the greater good under the worst circumstances... and what's wrong with that? Whereas the last two "hero" characters alive in Dana and Marty go ahead and let the world end. I mean, seriously? Why would you guys do that? Die then a save billions or die a few minutes later and save no-one? That is seriously messed up. And it was the one part of the movie I really didn't like. It felt out of character, and honestly damned both of those characters in my eyes. You do what you have to do to prevent an apocalypse if you want to go traipsing around calling yourself a good guy. I don't know... I guess it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I like dark endings, but seriously, if you have to make characters act out of character and have a bunch of convenient plot things happen at the same time to get your dark ending, it's just not worth it. There's no payoff and no punch. And the hand coming up from the earth at the end just seemed dumb. If you're going to keep the dark ending leave it a little ambiguous at least. The hand looked worst than what I could have imagined in my mind... but there's the problem... this movie is inherently not a horror movie.

Now, I know when I sat that people will be all like, "But it says it's a horror movie!" It's not a horror movie. It's a horror comedy more than anything else... just as much as Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland. Sure, there is gore and things that should be creepy, but it never really reaches the upper echelon of actually being scary. It's not The Evil Dead... that's for sure. Instead, everything works out for this movie to be a fairly compelling comedy... really not even a horror comedy. This is no Trick 'r Treat where there are actual horror elements to it (I'll get to that movie soon, don't you worry.), this is more generic horror with some good humor, good dialogue, and good characters tying it together.

Now, I liked the operators quite a bit, but Marty was also incredibly well written. His dialogue is witty and his comic-timing is really good. I found myself laughing at a good majority of his lines. The whole operators business was also amusing in its own right, especially the mundane conversations they have throughout the movie. This is actually one of those movies that I prefer the big twist out there in the beginning... because without that twist this would be a relatively generic horror movie... but with it it is definitely SCP: The Movie, and I can get behind that wholesale. I love how the monsters are kept in enclosed areas to be released at a desired time. I love how they have that cool of a collection from regular zombies all the way to a weird ballerina with her face a giant mouth-thing... and all the other horror references besides. I love how some old gods need to be appeased by the sacrifices of the respective horror tropes of different cultures. I really like this movie even despite the missteps. It works on a fundamental level to be an enjoyable experience.

And while there are some problems, if you keep an opened mind, this movie can really amaze you with both its plot and storytelling becoming something really amazing in the process. Now, as for scares... this movie offers very few. There is a lot of gore, but really only one scare... kind of a jump scare, but I found myself surprised... and that's the death of Holden. You see it coming from a mile away, but it happens so quickly that it left me surprised. The only "death" I didn't like was the fake Marty death. He should've died there. There was no way he fought back, not in the time required before the blood splatter goes up... but somehow I knew his offscreen death would be negated. I still didn't like it. It felt too fake... too manufactured. I just couldn't get behind the explanation or his character's continued life. But... I guess it is what it is. I've also heard some complain about the big red PURGE button for all the monsters... and while I found it incredibly dumb... I also thought it worked from a thematic standpoint. This is the SCP Foundation we're talking about. Of course they'd have a big red PURGE button. Why am I not even a little surprised? Plus, this leads to some of the best tension in the entire film, so how can I get up in arms over a little button?

I have to recommend this movie to people who love horror. It is a great little movie. Yes, it has some issues, but it mostly fulfills exactly what it's supposed to, and it does it ridiculously well. While reminiscent of The Evil Dead, don't expect too many scares. Instead hand on for some great dialogue, an interesting premise, and a fun ride.

Movie Appraisal: Hausu (ハウス) (House) (1977)

Horror? This is considered horror? Do people go and select what genre movies are called by picking them out of a snazzy looking top hat? Because this is much less horrific than The Lion King, for example, which is a kid's film, just as a reminder. Nudity, a man turning into bananas, and a piano eating the girl playing said piano do not make this movie into a horror movie. There is not a single moment... NOT ONE SINGLE MOMENT... that is even slightly scary. This movie is horror like the The Rocky Horror Picture Show is horror, and that movie is not horror. The description of this movie as a horror movie actually and legitimately gives me anger pains. Hell, the tone of this movie is more like a screwball comedy than a horror movie. It's actually ridiculous to have this movie be typed as a horror movie when it is so totally not a horror movie.

No, this movie reminds me of a spoof of a horror movie or possibly even a comedic play on an actually horrific premise. That being said, taking my ranting out of this review for a moment, I loved this movie, absolutely loved this movie. It is the kind of movie that feels like it is custom-made for me through-and-through. I loved the cheesy looking effects, the story, and ridiculous acting. Oh man, when Togo turns into bananas... I don't think I've ever looked so baffled into a screen before, and I loved it.

The premise of the movie is that seven girls go to visit the of of one of the girls, Gorgeous. Each of the girls has a nickname that somewhat describes their character. Gorgeous (played by Kimiko Ikegami) is set to be the main character, but never actually is. Her character is vain and cares about her appearance much more than the other girls. She is somewhat quiet and has some family issues. The reason she and the other girls go to her aunt's house is because she doesn't want to be around her father's new fiancee, her future stepmother. So after the other girls can't go for vacation at Togo's (one of their teachers) sister's house, Gorgeous mentions that they all should go to her aunt's house.

The other girls are then introduced. Fantasy makes up stories and has these weird hallucinatory types of visions at times throughout the movie. She daydreams and becomes a big source of the drama in the film. She keeps seeing the strange things happening in the aunt's mansion, and the other girls simply don't believe her at first. Then there's Kung Fu, who basically becomes the main character for most of the film, being the character who takes care of the other girls, and kicks, slaps, and punches the weird stuff in the house the hell out of her way. Every time she does anything even slightly kung fu related though, there is a ridiculous kung fu movie kind of music that comes up. It's brilliant and campy and I love it.

The rest of the girls are Mac, the heavyset girl (who's not really all that heavyset) who loves eating and disappears early in the movie, Prof, who is the smart one... kind of... Melody, who plays the piano, and is eventually eaten by the piano, and Sweet, who I don't even remember at all beside the fact that she gets ganged up on by a bunch of mattresses for some reason.

The aunt is an older woman in a wheelchair, who also seems to be set-up to be a larger character than she ends up being. She seems like she is going to be some kind of campy villain, and she kind of is, but mostly during the second half of the film she disappears. That being said, when she is onscreen, she frequently breaks the fourth wall, winking at the audience or meeting eyes with the audience. It's well done and pretty cool. I've never really seen something like this implemented in a movie like this, and I really liked it.

The last character is Blanche, who is the white cat who basically is the aunt's portrait of Dorian Gray. I guess it's kind of like a moving spirit or something that keeps her alive beyond death as long as she has unmarried women to kill and eat to be both young and vigorous, waiting for her lost fiance beyond her living limits. Now, Blanche is a white cat, but... somehow, somewhere, the people who made the next poster seemed to think that Blanche was orange.

That's Blanche. Blanche is not white in this picture. I know the movie can grow a bit screwy at points, with some really bad CGI type of stuff. It works, in my opinion, but is very fake looking in general at times. Maybe that's why Blanche is orange on the poster. I have no idea.

So, each of the girls are killed one-by-one over the course of the movie, with the bulk of the movie being Kung Fu, Fantasy, and Prof running around the mansion trying to find a way out or trying to avoid death. Mac is the first to die, her head replacing the watermelon she buys the aunt for a gift. Then Sweet is attacked by mattresses and is put into a clock or something and bled out that way. Gorgeous... uh... disappears into a mirror only to come back out of that mirror as the aunt herself... I think? There are some very weird scenes with Gorgeous... so, it's hard to tell what's going on with Gorgeous.

Melody stays with the other girls for a while, but as she plays the piano, her fingers are eaten by the piano... then she is eaten... in the most sexual way... by the piano. And that's another thing, this movie has a bit more nudity and sexuality than I would have thought. Fantasy has romantic daydreams about Togo. Kung Fu is inexplicably naked after she is eaten by a lamp. She also goes most of the movie in her underwear. Melody is basically raped by the piano... or at least that's what it looks like. Sweet's clothes disappear off of her after she is attacked by mattresses. Gorgeous is naked a few times, once in the sauna, and another time later on as she is cradling Fantasy at the end of the film as Fantasy calls her her mother. That was pretty odd as well. Prof has an underwater naked scene as she is engulfed by the bloodwater that comes out of the portrait of Blanche after Kung Fu kicks it with a rocket-launched torso and legs...

I'm going crazy here. So much of this movie is absolutely insane, and I love so much of it. The nakedness I could give or take, but I love the story, the chittering dialogue, the weird scenes that are inserted into the movie and make little to no sense in context, like when Togo turns into bananas and the man he's talking to turns into a skeleton kind of thing.

The last scene in the film is when Gorgeous (who is probably her aunt at this point) taking care of her future stepmother, and that stepmother... every scene she's in she like some kind of old movie star with wind blowing her clothes around, looking like she's the center of attention... It's weird, but Gorgeous kills her because she's unmarried too. It works.

This movie feels like it was made on a lot of drugs, but I love every single part of it. It's weird, with a happy soundtrack, a great comedy-slasher feel to it, and with a good amount of charismatic women acting pretty well despite this being most of their first and only acting roles. I can't call this movie a horror movie... and neither should anybody else. It's a horror movie like The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a horror movie... and that ain't a horror movie. I keep harping on his because the descriptions I see pin this as a horror movie and it so isn't. I mean, I guess it could be well into the B-movie feel of a horror movie, but I've seen so many B-movies from this era and some of them are pretty disturbing and kind of creepy, but this movie is so not creepy and so not scary that I cannot, in good faith, call this movie a horror movie.

Anyway, I loved this movie. It's easily my second favorite movie I've seen so far this summer, the first being Possession. Not everybody will like this movie, but if you like camp, stylized art films masquerading as horror, and weird movies, you should really check this one out.