Movie Appraisal: Angel Heart (1987)

Hmmm. This movie is a tough one to review. Actually, it's a really tough movie to review. It's a movie I've seen a couple of times at this point, but never quite feel the same way about it any time I watch it. I never quite like it, but I never dislike it it either. It has some great ideas, some great execution, and some great little details within it, but it has a lot of issues everywhere as well. I almost don't know where to begin. I know what to say, but I find it hard to say what I want to say. I really thought I'd like this movie. Every time I see this movie I say to myself, "Man, I really want to like this movie." I thought it would be good and I'd be happy and therefore everybody else would be happy and joyous too. I was wrong.

This movie is a very interesting movie, not at all bad quality, with decent acting and a wonderful pace, but a plot that suffers from it being a horror film. That hurts to say. I'm hurting right now saying this film is actually hurt by being a horror film, but it is. Some movies do have issues with suddenly being a horror film, with their core design better suited for other genres. I feel that Shutter Island, a movie that never should have been marketed as horror but was, and Dark City, which would have been a decent movie without the weird vampire creatures. At times it's almost baffling, with good plots ruined by horror movie premises. And while I hate saying that, I do have to say that these movies have great ideas and plots when the horror isn't involved at all. Angel Heart as a film noir is an incredibly mystifying mystery film, and works very well as that. Why add the plot points of changing faces, forgetting, and the devil into all of that? It makes no sense to me. Just go and have the lead get amnesia or something. It would make just as much sense at this point... no, probably more sense, actually.

I love horror. I love psychological horror. Honestly, it's my very favorite genre of film, even though there really are very few films I can call "good" psychological horror movies, which I hope this bog has kind of pointed out over the years. This movie, sadly, is not a good psychological horror film. It's not a bad film if you look at it as a film and nothing else. It's very well shot. Mickey Rourke is great as Harry Angel. The plot is pretty good. But as a horror film it falls short, and it will always fall short. It has no scares, no reason to be a horror movie, and mostly it works better without those horror elements.

Now, maybe this isn't supposed to be a horror film exactly. Maybe it's supposed to be a weird cult-horror film like The Nameless. Well, if it is then it falls short in that genre too. This is a very well put together film. It reminded me of Chinatown (1974), in its plot and characterizations. Also, it vaguely reminded me Oldboy (올드보이) (2003), especially one easy to figure out plot point in the movie. Without the supernatural stuff, this movie comes off ridiculously well. It makes sense and the plot and acting really are kind of convincing, so much so that without those supernatural elements I could find myself starting to like the movie. Without the supernatural stuff, there are even some unnerving elements to this film. Everything seems slightly off about things, and it works really well. But with the supernatural parts in there the film comes off as ridiculous, confusing, and a jumbled mess. The detective film that this ought to have been and the horror film this was trying to be didn't mesh well. They really did come off as almost two different films, with the horror film being nowhere near as well done. It kind of felt like the horror elements were tacked on.

Somebody told me a while ago that this film is similar to Jacob's Ladder, that it's supposed to be one of the movies most like Jacob's Ladder. It's not. I mean, seriously, it's not. It's like Jacob's Ladder in the same way Dracula is like Dark City. Yes, there are some very small elements of similarity, but they are wholly different movies with different premises, plots, and characters. As I said before, this film is much more like Chinatown and Oldboy, or maybe even an anti-The Nameless, but it is not a movie at all like Jacob's Ladder, and I'm a little offended any comparisons could be made at all from any person with a brain at all.

I didn't hate this movie. I really didn't. I liked it even somewhat. I simply don't think it should have been a supernatural-horror film. That being said, some of the movie was so well done that it needs mentioning. The recurring fan motif throughout the film was very well done, I'll give that to the filmmaker. The love scene (if you've seen the film, you'll know which one) is... um... interesting. I thought it was well done, but also VERY out of place. It was probably the creepiest moment in the film, and yet even that was... it felt like a completely different film. I don't know. It came out of nowhere and was basically the climax. It worked really well, but would have fit in another film much better than it fit in this one. The off the wall nudity, the camera work, and the characters simply felt like they were in another movie for that scene rather than this one. It's a weird thought, but one I cannot remove from my head. 

I don't think I could watch this movie again, although maybe someday I will. It's better than some movies, but it's never going to go down as one of my favorites. I thought that Jacob's Ladder, Oldboy, and Chinatown were all much better movies than this one, and should all be watched long before this film is even thought about. (Which is what I did.)

Oh, and I do have to mention a few other things: Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) was a interesting character until we knew what he was. Not telling us would have been more effective in my mind. The stupid yellow eyes were stupid, and the baby with the yellow eyes was photoshopped terribly and made me giggle. A horror movie that is supposed to have a fairly serious and depressing ending should not have a freaking yellow-eyed badly-photoshopped baby at the climax of it. I did like the elevator ending though, although it was too little, too late for me.

Video Game Assessment: Heavy Rain (2010)

After my experience with the disappointing Indigo Prophecy (or Fahrenheit everywhere that isn't where I live) I was dubious about this game. Doubt barely explains the menagerie of emotions I could feel when I looked at the box, wishing and hoping that it could end in a better way then the aliens and crap that ruined my Indigo Prophecy experience. And I've heard everything from reviewers on this one, ranging anywhere from this game being brilliant to this game being the worst thing that has ever existed.

Now, taking into account that around the same time this game came out, so also did two other games that I've also reviewed that have very similar ideas and themes to them. Deadly Premonition and Alan Wake were the two others that I'm talking about, and if you don't remember or don't know what I thought about those two games, go check out my reviews to get my full thoughts. But in hurried terms, I loved Deadly Premonition, seeing that game as one of the quirkiest games ever, and also one of the best games I have ever played. And Alan Wake, to me, was a derivative mess that did almost nothing that I was happy about besides some of the more meta things and all of maybe the endgame level, which I thought was clever.

Well, now on to Heavy Rain. This game has an FBI agent, just like the other two, but unlike the other two games that took a lot of inspiration from Twin Peaks (as seen heavily in both), Stephen King (in Alan Wake), and crap (see also Alan Wake), Heavy Rain feels very heavily more original. It's not, in my opinion as great or as surprising as Deadly Premonition, even though this game did surprise me.

It's supposed to play out like a mystery, and the story and characters are incredibly compelling, but... and there are some buts here... in the end I can sum this whole game up in a collection of words: Fan-service, Se7en, Indigo Prophecy, Beautiful, Uncanny Valley, and Interactive Story. The other things about the game are great, the music, the voice acting mostly, the sounds of the game, the realism, the characters, and the plot itself (for the most part). But I want to get into those words and what they mean for this game.

Fan-Service
This is pretty awful. It's wholly pretty painful to watch. I don't usually go out of my way to play video games full of nakedness and boobs. I mean, I can't even think of that many that have boobs smacking me in the face. Yes, Indigo Prophecy has the pixelated breasts, and the Dragon Age  games get pretty close with the desire demons, and, of course, the God of War games. I guess there are others games that show them boobs too, but I haven't played them. I guess my point is that not too many games I've played have a sexy dance for basically a mini-game... or a strip-tease, or showering. I mean, seriously? It's a little weird and makes me feel like a neck-bearded creepy shut in. I mean, I'm not that creepy, I think...It's just weird and basically involves the same female character throughout the entire game. There's a lot of fan-service here. I guess they know their audience? Well, they would except there's man-butt here too! I'm being kind of silly here, but it's all very strange. I don't really care that much, it just feels sleazy, and I have to say, I actually like the sleaze. It makes this game feel a certain way. It gives it a heavy-handed, dark feeling to it, and I love it all the way around.

Se7en
Well, besides being one of my favorite movies, Heavy Rain seems to take some things out of Se7en. Maybe I'm wrong, but both things just have such similar feelings to one another. I mean, it's the themes, the ideas, hell, even the characters somewhat. I don't think Heavy Rain is anywhere near as dark as Se7en, but I think it does have some very similar elements.

Indigo Prophecy
Heavy Rain is basically a spiritual successor to Indigo Prophecy. It shows except for the supernatural elements, I think, and the crazy endgame crap that was terrible for Indigo Prophecy. I say this, and then I see the extras for the game, showing how much more supernatural and meta it could have been before they decided to scrap it and I see the similarities even more fully. And I love those similarities. Even though I wasn't the biggest fan of the pretentious crapfest that was that game, I feel that Heavy Rain learned from its Indigo Prophecy origins and made a better and more compelling game because of it.

Beautiful
This is a game that looks so good that it's impossible to say it doesn't. The facial models, although sometimes appearing in the next phrase in our list here, are generally very good. The eyes look real, and that's superb. The environments, again, look kind of sleazy, kind of skeevy, and kind of greasy all at the same time. Yes, there is the problem of most of these next generation games, in the fact that there is too much gleam at times, but for the most part this whole game takes place in the realm of the dark visuals and depressing atmosphere. If this were a movie I would absolute love this. Movie like this are few and far between and I've never seen one that I didn't like. The whole game takes on a kind of grim look to it and it's fantastic.


Uncanny Valley
The character's facial models sometimes look like they're wearing skin masks over their faces rather than actually having faces. Oh man, it's true especially when they open their mouths. I have to point it out because wow, it can look really strange and really off and it comes up fairly often, especially with Scott, the Private Investigator, and Madison, the chick. Simply showing their teeth makes their entire face look like a mask about to split off revealing another face underneath. It's really strange and a little disturbing in a way that shouldn't be disturbing at all. Some faces are better than others, but the teeth always seem a little off, and it's jarring when the eyes and the rest of the faces are really spot on. The Mass Effect games have much of the same issues, and I wonder if it's something inherent in the system rather than a flaw of this game in particular.


Interactive Story
This should probably be the tagline of this game, if it isn't already. It's not so much that you play the game as you push buttons and decide the game. You decide, mostly, what the characters say, do, and decide. It's fun, in a way, maybe not at first. Hell, at first the game is almost kind of boring, then it's incredibly depressing, then it gets hardcore and awesome. It does take a while for it to get going, but once it is going, it's gone, a true hit for the ages. And it's really good, better than I would have expected in almost every way.  I'm not the biggest fan of this type of game or this type of gameplay, but I do really love the idea of it. I love how the story unfolds and how the characters interact and interplay with one another. It's an interesting premise and it works, in my opinion, as this mysterious story about a serial killer proceeds.

Now, the game does, in my opinion, fall apart towards the end even with the fantastic middle and slow beginning. I don't like the ending and I don't like who turns out to be the Origami Killer. It feels stupid, and it really doesn't work. I played through this game twice. It's not very long in general. And I didn't like the ending in either of my playthroughs. The killer is not well foreshadowed, and, in general, it is impossible to guess the killer's identity from the information given almost until the reveal itself. So stupid. And when it is revealed, it is done well, certainly, but it feels unbelievable with what you know about the game and the characters.

Anyway, this review is all over the place, but my ultimate opinion is that this game is different, very story and character based. It has good voice acting, although I doubt any of the actors are actually American as their accents are all different kinds of strange. The music is good. The look is fantastic, and I really enjoyed it for the most part, barring the very end and the slow beginning. The trials themselves that the father, Ethan, has to go through are visceral and fantastic, as are the follow-up meetings with Madison and her little side-adventures, as well as the adventures of Scott and Norman and what they go through. Anyway, I recommend this for people who like stories and characters over gameplay and take it as it is, a movie in video game format. I liked it, and that's about all I can say about it.

Movie Appraisal: Cast a Deadly Spell (1991)

For the second day in a row I was primed and ready to review Jacob's Ladder, which just so happens to be my favorite horror film of all time. I was about to go and watch it again and write a review when suddenly I have this crazy desire to watch this movie, Cast a Deadly Spell. If you've never heard of it before, I don't blame you. I hadn't heard of it before a few months ago for the first time.

The premise is interesting. It's pretty much a 1940's detective story with magic. Yeah, it's a weird combination, I'll say that much.  It's more detective story than anything else though. I find it hard to call it a horror story too. Until the end the horror end of the movie is played down pretty hard.

So, the story opens up in Los Angeles in 1948. "Everybody used magic." the opening title tells me. Is something wrong with the grammar there or what? I know what it's trying to say, but I don't think it's saying it right. Wouldn't it be "Everybody uses magic." or "Magic is a tool for everyday use." or something like that? The past tense really confused me there.

Then the movie gets going. We meet a detective named Howard Philips Lovecraft, but usually goes by Phil. Really, movie? That's what you're going with here? You're going to use the name of an author who was a known racist and misanthrope? Okay then. All right. Let's see where this goes then. Oh, and just to put this out here too, Phil's former chief detective (or something like that) has the name of Bradbury. I wonder if his first name is Ray.

Anyway the story starts off with a dame like every one of these detective stories starts out (or so the opening monologue tells us). I don't really see the dame in this case... but all right... No, seriously, where's the dame? The only dame I see in the beginning is Phil's landlady... and she isn't causing any trouble... and it can't be the girl who Phil meets later because she doesn't start any trouble... nor does the "love interest" introduced later on. So, Phil's voice-over monologue is a freaking liar.

Phil goes about his private detecting ways and early on we are forced to see that he doesn't use magic like everybody else. Okay... so this comes into play in the story eventually, right? We learn why he doesn't use magic and that lack of using magic like everybody else saves him in the end, right? Right? No, I'm sorry to say that none of that ever comes into play in this movie at all, and that's disappointing. It feels like there were a lot of good ideas but none of them were used well at all. The only thing that Phil not using magic is meant to show is his integrity, but it's a silly notion. Magic must be a relatively new thing in this universe, but using it would help him solve crimes and put those bad guys away for good... plus, he wouldn't get into half of the terrible situations he does get in to. Use your head, Phil.

Anyway, Phil soon meets up with a man named Amos Hackshaw, who's played by David Warner. I've never heard of the name David Warner before, but the actor is so familiar I want to yell at the screen who he is even though I can't really remember. Anyway, this guy is very obviously not a good guy. I can tell this right off. He seems a little odd and well... anybody who wants the Necronomicon can't be a good guy... plus,  the actor always played bad guys from what I can remember, and since I can't remember anything, I'm going to go with my gut on this one.

There are some weird other scenes earlier on... most of which are just strange. There's a little guy named Tugwell, who is my favorite character by far, who goes and does murder. He seems to be a genuinely terrifying guy who only stands about four feet tall. I like this guy. I like his spirit. I want him to be the hero. (He isn't the hero. He's just a lackey for one of the villains.)

Anyway, the story goes on and I keep having flashbacks of The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon. This detective story seems to have a ton of elements of those two movies... and you know what? This movie is worse than any of them... it's probably worse than most 1940's era detective movies. I kind of wish this movie were in black-and-white. It feels like it should be. There's not reason why it isn't and it makes me confused. For a movie that so obviously wants to be a throwback to better detective movies, this movie isn't trying very hard.

And I talk about the detective elements instead of the horror ones, because the horror ones are stupid. Throughout this film, little things seem out of place because of the "magic" world gimmick, which is all good and fine, but the horror elements are lacking. Every time a horror gimmick or creature is introduced this movie turns from a serious detective film to a slapstick horror comedy, like Evil Dead 2, and that just doesn't fit. It doesn't do the comedy as well as Evil Dead 2, and thus it's comedy is stupid and makes me want to punch the screen until something breaks. Thankfully the horror elements are used sparingly, but this is the main gimmick of the film. How can the main gimmick be used sparingly in a film that really needs the gimmick to stand out?

Well, I guess you're starting to get my impression of the film. It's not good. It's actually pretty terrible. The acting isn't bad (mostly), but that's about the only good thing I can say about this movie for the most part. The scenery is weirdly washed out and doesn't look real. Again it would all look better in black-and-white. The monsters are  really fake looking and used with so much stupid humor that the scenes they appear in just make you want to hold your head in your hands until it goes away.

The plot eventually makes itself a bit interesting when a virgin sacrifice is required to summon the Old Gods, including Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth. The ending of this scene, which is the best scene in the film, can be scene from a mile away... with the sixteen year old girl not being a virgin any longer.

So, let me say what this movie has in it: statutory rape played for laughs, a gargoyle getting kicked in the gonads, an angry landlord taking a shotgun to some gremlins, a serious conversation between to old friends, a very small man being drowned in a bathtub full of bubbly water, a zombie breaking a broad's arm, zombies building houses, the last of the unicorn hunters, a serious detective story, Cthulhu rising from beneath the ground, eating a dude, and then going back down, the Necronomicon, a demon rising from a pot of soup, and a great scene with a layer named Thadeus Pilgrim.

Ugh... I don't know what else to say... oh, yeah... when was it established the sixteen year old girl virgin was the last of the unicorn hunters? When Phil drove past her for the first time he seemed to think it was all very normal. I guess it wasn't Phil, was it? Why didn't you say something at the time? What about all the other virgins out there? Why did she have to be the virgin of choice? Couldn't it have been a male virgin too? Or is that just not allowed? I never understood that in movies. Why is it always a female virgin? Is it because males seem to fantasize about female virgins and male virgins are usually icky people who shouldn't be spoken of? Is that it? It must be and it's silly and stupid and these stupid movie characters should really get these virgin sacrifices to make sense... and if this girls father really wanted her to be a virgin for life, maybe he should have made certain she didn't hit on everything with a penis that moved in her general direction. And statutory rape played for laughs? Really, movie? What is wrong with you? And by a police officer no less... I don't understand... This movie is just the opposite of classy... it's base and seriously...? Kidding around about a police officer having sex with a sixteen year old girl?

As you can tell I'm confused and angry. This movie is a million times worse than Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, and that's a thing I've never thought I'd say (even though that movie was actually pretty good). I wish I'd have my ninety-six minutes back. I wish I had just reviewed Jacob's Ladder.