Sunday, February 13, 2011
Movie Appraisal: How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
All right, I'm going to admit that I have no idea how to review a movie like this. I don't even know what kind of genre this is. I AM LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER REVIEWING THIS SUCKER. I'm used to horror, psychological horror, video games, horror, psychological... oh... I already said that. So, this child movie is kind of throwing me down, beating me up, and stealing all my lunch money, and I don't really know what to do. I'm basically letting this movie run off with my lunch money. I'm not even chasing the film down, tackling it to the ground, and then shoving its face in the snow, like I would do once upon a time if anybody dared to steal the lunch money of the Saquarry. I can be vicious is what I'm saying, like a small angry weasel of death come to reap your soul. Why would I reap your soul? WHY NOT?
Okay... okay... so, yeah... getting to the review... because I'm reviewing this. This is happening. I'm telling you I'm going to review a child movie full of dragons and tiny young people who kind of freak me out a little. What is with tiny young people anyway? Why are they so small and stupid? Oh, and if you are one of these children people (Children is such a stupid word.) then you should not tell me about it, because I... What am I doing here? Why am I ranting about how small things kind of freak me out? I think I'm supposed to be telling everybody reading this what I thought about this movie and probably making you either want to watch it because I'm a perverse individual full of hatred or because I'm a nice guy who thinks you'd enjoy it.
All right... All right... This is a good film. It was fun to watch. Kind of cute. I didn't mind the cuteness too much, but if there was an inch more of cuteness I would puked stakes of fire out of my nose. Yes, you don't understand. Cutesy films are not my kind of thing. This one wasn't bad though. I thought the plot was fun. The characters were interesting, but contrived. The whole Viking thing was interesting and silly, but also kind of fun as well. The imagery was pretty cool. The main dragon himself was neat, good ol' Toothless. The main character wasn't too annoying and I didn't mind him all that much.
Basically I did like this film even though it was WAY OUT OF THE WAY not my kind of genre. Basically this is about as far away from my genre of choice without getting into romantic comedy that I will allow myself to get. Romantic comedy makes me shoot suns of doom from every orifice of my body. So, I tend to avoid romantic comedies, especially those that involve that certain blonde that I'm not fond of or that guy who's in like every romantic comedy ever made who also happens to look like an absolute tool and if I knew any chick who was dating that douchebag, I would think less of her for doing so, to the point where I would disown her... even if I didn't own her in the first place... look, that's not the point. You're thinking I'm creepy, but you're not getting the point. Get the point. No, don't judge me... GET THE POINT.
Okay... is there anything else I should mention? Okay, the battle thing at the end of the movie was cool. The voices and characters and dragon design were pretty good.
Yup. That's about it.
I am so going to try and have more time this next week to actually watch something that I can actually review without making myself out to be completely out of control of every one of my faculties including mind control of myself...so, self-mind control, which should so be a thing... which it is, I guess, but it should be called that constantly.
I am so going to try and review Silver Bullet before next week arrives. I've been wanting to review that movie for months...