Movie Appraisal: Pandorum (2009)

I don't know what it is about critics, but I rarely agree with them about horror films, except possibly the more beautiful and artistic "horror" films like Jacob's Ladder, I suppose. After watching this film, I decided to see exactly what the critics thought of it, and I was unsurprised to find that they mostly hated it. This kind of film simply is not something a film critic could ever like. I say this knowing that a lot of films I like critics seem to hate. I almost get the feeling that these critics don't like psychological horror, science fiction, action-intensive, character-driven, beautiful films... and those are the very things that drive me to fall in love with any given film.

I think very obvious comparisons can be drawn to Event Horizon. Both films enjoy very similar ideas of a spacecraft dying on a mission. Paul W. S. Anderson was also attached to both films. He directed Event Horizon and he was a producer of Pandorum. The psychological horror aspects of both films are also very obvious and, to me, very well done. As a lover of the psychological horror genre, it was no hard for me to predict everything of this movie from nearly the first moment I knew what the plot was, but it was riveting, playing with twists and turns like a crazy road leading to a creepy castle. I think I prefer Event Horizon though. I think Sam Neill really made that movie into something amazing. Dennis Quaid does a good job in his role, but I feel that he never really does enough to have this be an outstanding performance. Most of the psychological horror involves his character and he never really leaves the room he starts out in. What I'm saying is that if you want a film involving space madness and you want a good actor to be the crazy dude, I'd choose Sam Neill over Dennis Quaid every time.

The plot is basic at best, but a basic plot is still interesting. I find this film to pretty much be something like Event Horizon mixed with Mad Max (1979) and maybe having a little bit of some kind of creepy alien or monster movie in there for good measure. It's a good film with a simple premise. The actors are decent although there were times I had trouble figuring out what they were trying to say or do. I felt some of the characters motivations were spotty at best sometimes, and some of the solutions to plot points seems a little forced at times.

Any movie that deals with amnesia is always a tough one to sell. I thought this one did a good job though... kind of in the same way I thought Unknown (2006) did a decent job with the same kind of plot point. I did have to question a few things at the end, but a character actually questioned a plot hole for me, and really received no good answer. So,what I'm going to believe is that the filmmakers saw the plot hole, put the line in, and then just figured it was all cool. All right. I have no real complaints. It had bothered me before it was questioned, but having the question out there, even if the plot hole remains, makes me feel better.

I guess I have a thing for movies about dead ships, be they actual boats or spaceships. I never knew I actually had a thing for movies like that, but it really seems as though I do. I really did enjoy this film. It captivated me from start to finish. If you've ever seen Event Horizon and you liked it, you'll like this film because it's more of the same kind of thing. If you hated Event Horizon or Ghost Ship or hate the whole premise of these kinds of movies, then you're going to hate this film, guaranteed. I really liked this film. It was fun to watch and I'm glad I did get to see it.

I do have one other complaint and that's the monster/alien/mutant... things. I liked them, but I liked seeing less of them. I like the less is more style of filmmaking, and I feel that showing us these things all over the place in the second half of the film wasn't as interesting as not really seeing them and not knowing what they are like in the first half. I think that's just a personal preference though. They did look pretty damn creepy and I thought they worked well as primary antagonists, although I think that I would have rather had more explained about them or less... it felt like the filmmakers took a very middle ground and it kind of ended up with me being kind of confused and wondering exactly what was going on.

Anyway, I did like this film. I thought it was fun. It may not be the best film ever, but some of the scenes are incredibly memorable. One in particular occurs during the end with the main character, Corporal Bower (played by Ben Foster), doing some shenanigans very near a bunch of the creatures. I liked that scene a lot, thought it was very tense, very fun to watch... and I guess that's really all I can say about this film. It's a nice science fiction, psychological horror film that's fun to watch. It's never going to be the best film ever, but it works as a fun little horror flick to make one happy in these interesting days.

Movie Appraisal: The Thing (1982)

The ultimate in alien terror indeed.

John Carpenter's The Thing, directed by John Carpenter, starring Kurt Russell, is one of the greatest horror films of all time. It is a remake of The Thing From Another World, a film that I also reviewed at one point. That film was not terrible, but this film is absolutely brilliant from beginning to end.

As I've mentioned before, John Carpenter is one of my favorite directors of all time, and this film is a big reason for it. Yes, I have a fairly biased opinion towards this movie, but I only have that opinion because it is so blasted fantastic. The atmosphere, the isolation, the body-horror, and the unknown all come together in this movie, showing that a movie can be mainstream, terrifying, and atmospheric, which is incredibly rare in films that come out today.

This movie is easily one of the most recognizable and easily accessible horror movies of all time. Most people who have ever known anything about horror, would probably know something about this film. Josh Carpenter created his masterpiece in this movie, which he never again equaled in any of his other horror movies... arguably he never reached this level again.

Now, as I've mentioned before, I really like John Carpenter films until the mid-1990s or so. But with In The Mouth of Madness and after he seemed to have faltered quite a bit. I really like that film, but it can easily be seen as utterly ridiculous, with sometimes incredibly bad acting and out-of-place humor throughout the film. And maybe that's why I have a problem with late Carpenter... but, I'm getting all over the place rather than focusing on The Thing.


The Thing is an atypical movie for so many reasons. It does everything that most horror movies don't let themselves do. It contains absolutely no female actresses and as an added bonus, has no screaming women. It kills off animals, dogs in particular, as well as much of the actual cast. It has an utterly bleak ending, one that gives little hope to an actual happy ending, and it all takes place in an area on Earth that few of us would ever understand. Antarctica is wholly an alien place to us, feeling just as extraterrestrial as an alien world. The feeling of isolation permeates the movie, coming into especial prominence as the titular thing takes over more and more people and animals.

The flamethrowers, the heavy use of body-horror, and the outstanding special effects give this movie an absolutely unique flavor that is all its own. The acting is topnotch, the directing is masterful, and the fear of the horror permeates the screen itself making this easily one of the best alien horror movies of all time along with The Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 or 1978) and... well, not much else that I can think of. Alien movies are not exactly my thing, I have to admit. Aliens really do tend to bore me. Maybe the Alien series is really good, and maybe I should really check it out, but I have no real desire to do so. It seems like more action than horror to me and that automatically makes it less interesting to me.

Wow, I am digressing like crazy during this review, going off on wild tangents only marginally related to the topic at hand. Look, watch this movie, horror fan or not. John Carpenter puts himself on top of the masters of horror with this movie and... well, it really is fantastic from beginning to end. The isolation and atmosphere are simply amazing and everything else in the movie comes together. For me, this movie embodies what I love about 1980s in horror. It is a classic film and everybody in the universe needs to watch it at least once in their lifetimes. Yes, even babies.

And things, I suppose... although they might not be rooting for MacReady... and shame on them. Yes, you heard me, shame on you, you stinking alien brats, thinking you can take us over like some kind of crazy parasite. Where's my flamethrower? I need to check if people are things...

Movie Appraisal: Zombieland (2009) (Special Thanksgiving Day Review!)

Zombieland is... sublime... fantastic... wonderful... all of those things and more. I'm not the kind of person who goes on and on with gushing remarks about any film that isn't psychological horror or Alfred Hitchcock directed, but this film was just a wonderful experience.

Maybe it was that the last movie I watched before this was The Reaping, which just so happened to be one of the worst films I have ever seen, and I do mean that. I mean, even taking into consideration I watch bad movies on the SyFy (What a stupid name...) Channel all the time and most of my favorite movie most people would probably consider drivel, I hated that movie with a passion I'm not sure even I could equal again.

But this movie, Zombieland, was literally fantastic. Anybody watching this movie who doesn't instantly fall in love with the character of Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) is a cold and terrible person who I never want to know. His character and performance really drive this film to be the best it can be. The other actors are mediocre or kind of good in parts,but Woody Harrelson really brings this movie to the next level. His acting is beyond superb and I'm actually kind of sad I don't see him in more movies with skills like that.

This being a zombie comedy-horror film, there are going to be a lot of parallels drawn to Shaun of the Dead (2004),and they are well-deserved. Both movies are fantastic in their own right and really trump anything else the zombie movie has to offer. I like some zombie films, with Dawn of the Dead (1978) being the best of the genre in my opinion, but Zombieland is a much more enjoyable experience than those other films and really does come off as a better movie than even the staples of zombie films.

The story is fantastic, again very character-driver with the four leads really showing us what the zombie apocalypse can do to people. Tallahassee and his endless search for the last Twinkie, and Columbus (played by Jesse Eisenberg) and his numerous phobias and obsessions are really well-done to the point of being fantastic on almost every level.

As for complaints, I don't really have any. The acting could have been better, but it's a zombie film. Did I go in expecting great Shakespearean performances? No. No, I did not, and I was surprised by the calibre of the acting nonetheless because it was much better than even my wildest expectations. I felt that the only real complaint I have were that the cuts to other times or places were sometimes a little awkward, but even that can be forgiven in a film like this.

The time I spent watching this film absolutely flew by and I enjoyed myself thoroughly throughout. I think that's the most telling part of a good movie,if it absolutely flies past while you're watching it. I laughed throughout this film. It was hilarious and enjoyable and I really think that anybody who enjoys a good zombie film... or you know what?... films in general too... should really check this flick out.

Video Game Assessment: Super Metroid (1994)

Here's a game that's a bit random for me to review. It's an older game for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and easily the oldest video game I've reviewed yet. Most of the video games I've reviewed so far are much more recent and therefore much more palatable for a modern-day audience. The Super Nintendo is no Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 or even a Wii. It is an earlier video game console with some of the best video games of all time on it.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't some fantastic video games thrown out today. I've actually found a few very good games that have come out in the last few years. Most of them are good for storylines or gameplay... some for their content and some for their characters, but they all have a ton of content, they all have the superior technology of today to work off of. They should be better video games. Hell, I shouldn't even have to compare a game like Super Metroid to games like Mass Effect 2 or Halo 3 or something because those games should be so much better than this game that came out sixteen years ago when video games were nowhere near the cultural media they are today. My problem is, I have to compare this game to modern day game, and you know why? It's because this game is fantastic. It holds up so well to games of today and beats a lot of them senseless with its awesome qualities.

This also happens to be the only Metroid game I have ever played. The main character being a girl, while being one of the most hardcore decisions in all of gaming, doesn't really play into anything in this game. Super Nintendo games, and especially games of this type weren't exactly equipped with stellar stories and character development. But see, the thing is, it didn't need to be. This is the kind of game that the hardship and loneliness of the game are enough to really make you care about all the contents. The story doesn't matter, not really, but it does because of the immersion, because of the feeling that in playing this game, by playing Samus, you are actually accomplishing something awesome as well.

This game used to scare me to no end. I remember when it first came out, I looked at it, played the game a bit and was so freaked out by the first mini-boss that I couldn't move on. There was a pervasive loneliness that really infested your mind as a gamer. The game still does that to this day. Some games try very hard to make the character feel as lonely and as hardcore as Super Metroid did, but few succeed in any way. The most triumphant counter-example would be Portal, but that is seriously the only one I can really think of and that game is nowhere near as difficult or serious as Super Metroid.


Super Metroid starts out in a space station with Samus trying to find a space pirate dragon thing called Ridley, who had stolen the last of the metroids, which are little brain creatures that are supposedly very dangerous. Samus is a bounty hunter, kind of like Boba Fett from Star Wars. She wears some crazy armor and can role up into a ball... for some reason... and she has a missile launcher/beam gun grafted onto one hand of her armor-suit. So, pretty much she about as hardcore as a character can be.

Anyway, Super Metroid is a platforming, side-scrolling, awesome adventure of killing aliens on the planet Zebes, and trying to find that last metroid while avoiding death all the while. It's awesome. The skillset required for this game is huge, and I think any new gamer who has been coddled by many of the current generation titles would find this game quite difficult indeed. It's not a game that is easy in any way. It's challenging and requires so much concentration that it's a little ridiculous.

I love this game though. It's one of my favorite games from the Super Nintendo era of games alongside greats like Kirby Super Star, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's King Quest, The Lost Vikings, and the Super Star Wars Series. Ah, it's awesome and nostalgic and I could play that game over and over again. It's one of those games that's both challenging and plays differently ever time. It doesn't need a clever AI or a crazy story about things that are convoluted and weird. No, all it needed was shooting some aliens, a crazy-awesome bounty-hunting chick, and some of the best visuals and gameplay an entire console had to offer.

It's an old game now, and probably pretty tough to get nowadays, but if you do own it or can find some version or copy of it, it's a game worth playing showing off both the best of the old games and why video games have become such a mainstay in our society today. So, check it out if you can and admire the handiwork of a video game as true art.

I know this review is a little random, but every once in a while I love to review something different... and I might be doing more of that for a while since I'm kind of in the mood to play some older games.