Movie Appraisal: The Ward (2010)

This was John Carpenter's comeback film, the movie that might have been able to bring him out of the cellar of not so great movies he had been in through most of the Nineties and early 2000s. I have to say that I was expecting something really bad. I had heard from critics and movie fans alike that this was a bad movie, unfit for the eyes, terrible beyond comprehension, a movie with an odor so bad that it would make every other John Carpenter film bad by comparison.

And... I don't see it. The movie is by no means brilliant. It has a pretty standard premise and the twist is also pretty standard in these kinds of movies. I could compare it to Shutter Island, Identity, Session 9, and High Tension, although I think this movie is a lot better than those. Yeah, I just said that. Let that sink in. If you think I'm dumb you should just stop reading this review now. If you're intrigued then let me carry on. Shutter Island was a critical success, but I absolutely couldn't stand it; while this movie feels like a horror movie, and it acts like one too. Is it great? Does it live up to older John Carpenter films? No, not really. It's good, but I can't say it's better than my favorites of The Thing, Prince of Darkness, Into the Mouth of Madness, and others of the Eighties. That being said, it's still a pretty good horror film, full of twists and turns and some surprisingly good acting performances. Jared Harris and Amber Heard especially shine in their roles, but I have to give a nod to Dan Anderson who played Roy, the chief orderly. His performance was really the breakout one for me.

This is a pretty standard horror film though, and I can't beat around the bush about that at all. I mean, it doesn't do anything that another horror film couldn't, but does have a pretty good director behind it for whatever that's worth. The cinematography was fine, if a little brightly lit at times, and the horror was pretty decent, actually causing me to get into the movie quite a bit. Some parts of the movie were absolutely ridiculous, certainly ridiculous enough that I rolled my eyes a bit, but there was never a moment that I hated the movie or wanted to stop watching it, which is much more than I thought I'd say. I found it entertaining and with enough scares to win me over despite my own apprehensions. I can think of a ton of movies that are worse and a ton that are better, but mediocre is a much better movie than I thought I'd get so I'm happy in general. It is a pretty middling film, but it works and is competent. It never offended me or my intelligence, its pace was good, the acting was perfectly fine, and the scenery was fun to watch. I like how the story is built up, and although the twist is pretty apparent it's still kind of surprising when it happens, I suppose.

I liked this film, but I also tend to like movies like this. I liked Identity quite a bit, although Shutter Island and High Tension were not my thing at all, but these kinds of movies are fun to watch and guess at, and I found myself having fun throughout the movie and liking the little scares. I can't really talk too much about the story because it is just so standard and there are long stretched of time when nothing really happens beyond tension buildup. I like that, but I can imagine a lot of people won't at all. It's not a film for a person who's looking for horrific imagery and shocking awful horror. It's really a film for a person who likes a good psychological horror film and who likes looking for symbolism and such. Not that it does a great job at it, but again... it's pretty okay.

It is a pretty mediocre film though, and I think that's just what I'm going to keep saying about it. You'll just find me typing MEDIOCRE FILM MEDIOCRE FILM over and over a thousand times. I can't see myself watching it again. It's nowhere near good enough for me to care about another viewing. I enjoyed it once, and now I'm done with it. I'll probably forget about it pretty quickly, but I enjoyed it while watching it. Honestly though, this is a movie I could easily tell people to pass right by. It's okay, but not great, and it's not terrible enough to make fun of. It has some fairly dry bits to it as well as cinematography that doesn't quite sync up with the horror that the movie seems to be trying to go for. But I like it anyway, finding it more fun and enjoyable than not. I can't say I regret watching it. John Carpenter, one of my favorite directors, does a pretty good job coming back to helming a movie. My only hope is that he won't play it as safe for his next one.

I have to say that the soundtrack is absolutely banging. By the way. I mean, it's absolutely fantastic, easily the best part of the movie. It makes you feel much more into the movie and gets your blood pumping. Both are good things. I was expecting such a kicking score, but it was really cool.

The last thing I have to say is about the great way they established the mental hospital. I have been doing research on old mental hospitals and treatments for a while now, and they actually did a pretty good job at being fairly accurate. I was both surprised and impressed by that. The DID was a little less than stellar though simply because DID that strong actually rarely happens... hell, it's even heavily debated whether it even could happen. So, there's that in the reality department. But I still liked the film well enough, and if it sounds interesting, take the chance in watching it.

You might be surprised.

Hell, I was.

Movie Appraisal: Dagon (2001)

H. P. Lovecraft stories have had quite a few problems over the years. They are known for having racial overtones, strange gods, emotionless writing, and are carefully crafted cosmic horror stories. There are good things and bad things to every single one of H. P. Lovecraft's stories or novellas and the pros and cons come out the best in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth". You may be asking why I'm talking about that story and not "Dagon". I am because this film is actually based upon "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" instead of "Dagon".

"The Shadow Over Innsmouth" is one of H. P. Lovecraft's best known and most terrifying novels, mixing the unknown with genuine fear and adrenaline pumping horror. It involves the fleeing sort of horror, running from destiny, from death, and from an awful town full of strange folk. The racially charged overtones can be seen everywhere in it, as well as the ideas of strange religions and folk unlike ourselves.

I personally like Lovecraft and the types of stories he wrote. They come off as genuine even if the writing is not perfect or crazy emotional like most horror is today. He wrote the strange as if they were normal. Insanity was simply a side-effect of seeing something incomprehensible and suicide an easy out for the insane. The gods were deadly, evil things, and there was a rhythm to the stories and the plots. The characters were cookie-cut out of the same mold, but the situations were wholly new and beautifully done.

That being said, Dagon is... in a word... a mess. I'm not certain it knows what it wants to be or even should be. It'snot a horror movie, not really, although it has enough gore to suffice on that mark. But the out of place comedy does not work for horror or... well... really anything. I have found again and again that Lovecraftian stories, except by John Carpenter, tend to be overdone or cheesy, hardly worth the time or effort. This movie is no different. It feels hammy in all the wrong ways, but seems to want to be taken seriously, which I simply cannot do. The gore tells me that this movie does take itself seriously. The make-up effects are good for this kind of movie, and without the dialogue, characters, or sounds, this movie could have been wonderful, but ham and cheese acting, characters without any obvious motivations, and a plot that seems to convoluted to be fun to watch, this movie is an all around mess.

I can't say that I hate this movie. I just can't say that. I'm fond enough of Lovecraft and the story that I don't hate it, but I won't ever watch it again. I can't recommend it because it really is just that bad. Some scenes are better than others, but none are really all that good. None of the actors, except possibly the Spanish actors, are really good enough to pull this one off, and it comes as a disappointment. It could have been better, but ended up very hard to watch, with set-pieces instead of actual plot, and no characters to relate to.

Avoid this one. the stories are better and much more worth your time. Hell, even the video game Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth is better and should be played over watching this.

This brings me to my last point: Why are Lovecraft films so unfilmable? I don't get it. They should be easy to make, but no... they are all universally terrible. It saddens me. I guess I'll stick with John Carpenter for my Lovecraftian fix. Into the Mouth of Madness and The Thing are genuinely amazing movies. Watch those instead of this ambitious failure.

Movie Appraisal: The Thing (1982)

The ultimate in alien terror indeed.

John Carpenter's The Thing, directed by John Carpenter, starring Kurt Russell, is one of the greatest horror films of all time. It is a remake of The Thing From Another World, a film that I also reviewed at one point. That film was not terrible, but this film is absolutely brilliant from beginning to end.

As I've mentioned before, John Carpenter is one of my favorite directors of all time, and this film is a big reason for it. Yes, I have a fairly biased opinion towards this movie, but I only have that opinion because it is so blasted fantastic. The atmosphere, the isolation, the body-horror, and the unknown all come together in this movie, showing that a movie can be mainstream, terrifying, and atmospheric, which is incredibly rare in films that come out today.

This movie is easily one of the most recognizable and easily accessible horror movies of all time. Most people who have ever known anything about horror, would probably know something about this film. Josh Carpenter created his masterpiece in this movie, which he never again equaled in any of his other horror movies... arguably he never reached this level again.

Now, as I've mentioned before, I really like John Carpenter films until the mid-1990s or so. But with In The Mouth of Madness and after he seemed to have faltered quite a bit. I really like that film, but it can easily be seen as utterly ridiculous, with sometimes incredibly bad acting and out-of-place humor throughout the film. And maybe that's why I have a problem with late Carpenter... but, I'm getting all over the place rather than focusing on The Thing.


The Thing is an atypical movie for so many reasons. It does everything that most horror movies don't let themselves do. It contains absolutely no female actresses and as an added bonus, has no screaming women. It kills off animals, dogs in particular, as well as much of the actual cast. It has an utterly bleak ending, one that gives little hope to an actual happy ending, and it all takes place in an area on Earth that few of us would ever understand. Antarctica is wholly an alien place to us, feeling just as extraterrestrial as an alien world. The feeling of isolation permeates the movie, coming into especial prominence as the titular thing takes over more and more people and animals.

The flamethrowers, the heavy use of body-horror, and the outstanding special effects give this movie an absolutely unique flavor that is all its own. The acting is topnotch, the directing is masterful, and the fear of the horror permeates the screen itself making this easily one of the best alien horror movies of all time along with The Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 or 1978) and... well, not much else that I can think of. Alien movies are not exactly my thing, I have to admit. Aliens really do tend to bore me. Maybe the Alien series is really good, and maybe I should really check it out, but I have no real desire to do so. It seems like more action than horror to me and that automatically makes it less interesting to me.

Wow, I am digressing like crazy during this review, going off on wild tangents only marginally related to the topic at hand. Look, watch this movie, horror fan or not. John Carpenter puts himself on top of the masters of horror with this movie and... well, it really is fantastic from beginning to end. The isolation and atmosphere are simply amazing and everything else in the movie comes together. For me, this movie embodies what I love about 1980s in horror. It is a classic film and everybody in the universe needs to watch it at least once in their lifetimes. Yes, even babies.

And things, I suppose... although they might not be rooting for MacReady... and shame on them. Yes, you heard me, shame on you, you stinking alien brats, thinking you can take us over like some kind of crazy parasite. Where's my flamethrower? I need to check if people are things...

Movie Appraisal: In the Mouth of Madness (1995)

In the Mouth of Madness is a horror film directed by John Carpenter, and starring Sam Neill. I'd almost like to call it a post-apocalyptic horror film, or a Lovecraftian horror film, or a body horror film, or even a post-modern horror film, but none of those labels exactly fit. There are some labels that do fit this film, certainly, but the only real descriptor I can come up with is something to the effect of "meta-horror in a small-town setting," which is a complex way of saying that this movie is nuts.


It's a fun movie for the most part even if the horror elements are very much stuck in the 1980s. The body horror and horror of the mind and dreams are easily the most effective horror in the movie. When the reality and fiction of the movie is blended so heavily that there seems to be no discernible difference between the two, it does become, at least, a little unnerving.


John Trent (played by Sam Neill) is an insurance agent out to find a missing author, Sutter Cane (Jürgen Prochnow) with the help of Cane's editor, Linda Styles (Julie Carmen). It first starts out with both comic and horror elements like many movies of this time, feeling simultaneously unsettling and strange. Eventually the movie moves into purely messing with the character's and the watcher's minds territory and it never looks back.


It's a pretty basic movie full of body horror, and the horror of a single man's demented mind having too much power. It's never boring and Sam Neill certainly makes it fun to watch, especially when he's in the asylum narrating the movie to the audience.


This, in my opinion, was John Carpenter's last great film, and it pales in comparison to some of his earlier horror, especially The Thing, which really is in a league of its own. Carpenter has such a unique style though and before this movie came out it was easily one of my favorite styles of filmmaking, purely and utterly 1980s all around. But after this movie, and there are hints of it during it as well, the horror and action films he made so wonderfully simply go away replaced with needless comedy and drama that are hackishly done at best. It was a terribly sad fall for such a brilliant director.


All-in-all though, I love most of Carpenter's films and this one is incredibly cool even if it isn't the best made or scariest. I think it can be both unsettling and unnerving at times, especially to one who thinks too much about reality and fiction.


One of the things that I take away from this movie is that it seems to be a bit of a cautionary tale. The problem is that nobody listened. The whole point is that a book or movie can drive people insane, making the author God in their eyes. This is seen all too often today, simply look as far as the Twilight books or Harry Potter. How many people rushed into theaters to watch that last film whether or not they enjoyed the books or the other movies? It's terrifying to think how one thing, one fictional story, can have so many real life repercussions. It can take over people's lives; it can even make them think that they are part of the story themselves. I guess that's what I've seen about certain fandoms. They get so heavily into a subject that it becomes In the Mouth of Madness, without the humor or the caution. It's not this movie that's scary, it's the implication that it isn't a movie at all, that this is the real world that we live in, not with the body horror, or the monsters,or the Old Ones coming up from the depths of somewhere unspeakable. It's the implication that something fictional can utterly take over a person's life to the exclusion of all else. I can't think of anything more terrifying than a lost life, unable to be lived to the fullest because the person is busy pretending to be something else. trying to live a life that they could never have. That's why this movie is effective and so well done.And that's why I will praise John Carpenter to the ends of the Earth.


So, I recommend it if you have a chance to check it out. It's fun even if it isn't really terrifying, and some of the make-up effects are really well done as well. It's well paced and somewhat believable despite being incredibly meta. I like it a bunch, but then again I like Event Horizon for many of the same reasons and people seem to hate that movie, so maybe the critics are all right and... 


...nah. They suck. This movie is fun and enjoyable. I advise everybody to check it out if given the chance.