Anime Analysis/Series Criticism: Puella Magi Madoka Magica (2011)

What can I say about this? What can I say that hasn't already been said? How can I add my little spin of thought to a "conversation" that's been ongoing while I've been in the dark? Mostly, how can this show be so good and SO DARK while having that happy little poster image up there. I'm putting this in my October reviews month for precisely the reason that this series has its elements of horror, can sometimes be very hard to watch, and is way too good to not recommend to anybody. While this is a fairly short series (12 episodes long, I assume that counts as short even with anime like this. I suppose I could be wrong though.) I never expected it to be so good. I also never expected this to be so horrific. I so was unsure if I would or could enjoy it at all. I have said MANY TIMES I am the exact opposite of a manga or anime fan, sometimes going to the other extreme and hating them completely and admittedly unjustly. I tried out Junji Ito's stuff on a recommendation and really fell in love with what he could do with both stories, worlds, and characters. Even if a lot of his stuff is kind of same-y or a little dumb, I enjoyed so much of his stuff (although admittedly I didn't really like the movies based off of his works) that I thought that I might be able to give this series a try without hatred clouding my judgment.

My girlfriend and a very good friend of mine both recommended this to me. They've actually both been recommending it to me for the better part of a year, and mostly I kind of ignored them, thinking that there was no way that this could be my type of thing. I'm a hardcore male who loves horror, great books, and serious business stories. I didn't think an anime about magical girls in fanservice costumes would be for me. How could I? Look at that art up there and tell me where the horror is. Tell me where the sadness and beauty of the piece is shown. All I see are two girls and flashy colors and stupidity, not the quality I was promised. Thus, I avoided the series. I avoided it for a year or longer. I avoided it until this week when after we all went to the New York Comic Convention together, both my girlfriend and my friend told me in no uncertain terms that I had to see this anime. Sure, I still balked at it at the time, but then I watched it. I watched it and watched it... and after watching it all... well, now I understand why they were so insistent.

I will say for anybody who hasn't seen it, this will have no spoilers, and thus not be the greatest review of all time. I'll say my thoughts as easily and simply as I can and concentrate on the horror aspects as much as I can. I'll speak in generalities because this is a series that should not be spoiled. I have been told by the internet that this series is already spoiled to everyone, but somehow I avoided every spoiler, so I want to give anybody else that same courtesy.

First off, if you are watching, make sure you watch through the third episode. Also, watch it here! I provided you a link. It's that easy to watch. Please take advantage of it if you have never seen it! As I was saying, watch through the third episode. The first two episodes are set up, and frankly are the two worst in the show. I actually was going to quit watching because those episodes did nothing for me. It introduced some of the main cast and was generally kind of boring. I mean, yes, you might get more out of it in multiple viewings (you almost certainly will actually), but watching it the first time just makes the entire series look like some weird Sailor Moon rip-off. (I've also never watched that series, but you have to realized I'm generalizing to what I know. I've always heard that Sailor Moon is a silly anime with girls turning into MAGIC girls with a MAGIC transformation so they can use MAGIC for some reason... I'm assuming against foes! All the while not being interesting to me in the slightest. Because even writing that description has put me to sleep in real life.) But this series, this Puella Magi Madoka Magica is something of a deconstruction... or at the very least a subversion to every magical girl series out there. It takes the basic premise and makes it both realistic and frightening. It's not about spunky girls in skimpy clothing. It's about the fight. It's about what one loses while fighting as well.

The story here is brilliant, alternating between character developments and story plot seamlessly. The character moments range from sweet to heartbreaking. And every major character has a backstory. They all have something that makes you care about them as both characters and people struggling to do what they need to do to counter the witch threat, Yes, witches are the main enemy of this series, but they are not like any witch I've ever seen before. Ranging from the cute Charlotte

all the way to the hideous Gertrud

the series shifts in styles at a drop of a hat when witches are involved. They, the witches, also comprise the major horror elements of the series. Well, them and Kyubey up there.

Or rather right here.

There is something intrinsically creepy throughout the series. The main premise, once you learn it, is undeniably creepy, but so also is the disconnect between the gravity of the situation for the girls and their outlooks on the situations. I am not easily horrified or made to stare slackjawed as something awful happens, but this anime caused me to do that more than once. The overly cute art-style may seem irresistible at first, but it hides a much darker face and makes the terrible things that happen throughout the series that much harder to swallow. Things like that should not happen to these cutesy anime girls. It's not really allowed in our conscious mind... or at least not mine. I've been taught that cute does not equal creepy or emotional or scary. And I was wrong. This series proved me wrong. My mindset was wrong.

 While the series does have moments about the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, it's incredibly well done, and seems to more often than not rely on one of the girls dealing with problems on her own without any friends to help her at all. I like that. I like how it's not always friends that can help. Sometimes it has to be up to yourself to seal your own fate, one way... or the other. It's brilliant and beautiful and works so well. The sadness emanating from this series is terrifying in its own right, leading to a singularity of darkness and broken characters. I've... well, I've never quite seen that before. I've never seen the amount of broken and scared characters. I've never imagined the horror that these "magical girls" might have to go through (probably specifically because I've avoided those series like THE PLAGUE) nor have I ever thought about what the cost might be to sell your soul. I've heard the series compared to Faust, and it's pretty obvious why once you understand exactly what is happening.

As for everything else, I love the art shifts throughout the series, specifically when witches are involved. It makes the disconnect and the fear factor both go up infinitely. I love the character interactions and the character decisions, even the more over-the-top ones. I love that each character and mindset is different, and I love how everything about that is consistent. The series wows from Episode 3 onward and never stops. It only gets better as it goes.

While the series has no direct gore, it really is for an older audience. It's incredibly dark, even as an intelligent deconstruction and criticism of the genre. It's not happy days and gumdrops while it attempts and succeeds at showing a darker side of what a magical girl actually means. It's brilliant in scope, terrifying in implications, and well done all around. The music is really awesome as well and sometimes has GREATER IMPLICATIONS for the story as a whole than you might think. I have to say I like that a great deal. I also like how the "Chosen One" in this series is not just random. There's a reason for everything, and I don't think I'll ever not like that happening in fiction.

Anyway, I wish I could say more. I wish I could rant and rave and rant and rave forever and spoil every little thing and say exactly what I like and hate. But I can't. I don't think I should. Hopefully, if you haven't watched the series, this small generalized analysis will give you some interest in the series. If it does, watch it. Watch it at least until the end of Episode 3. If you're lukewarm even then, then Episode 8 is also fantastic... and 10 is by far the best in the entire series. I can't help recommending this. It is incredible and just a great ride. The horror elements are well done. The story elements are well done. The subversion and deconstruction and criticism are well handled. The characters are all meaningful and written wonderfully.

I don't know if I'll ever like another anime series, but this one... this one is near-perfect. It's unforgettable, and will stick with me for a long, long time to come.

Movie Appraisal: The Hole (2009)

I didn't know this was a Joe Dante film until after the movie was done. In retrospect I probably could have guessed. It's very much his style of film, with very similar themes to other movies that I've seen directed by him. But I'm starting off kind of strange, talking about the director of this film when I have a movie to review. So, let's jump down the bottomless hole and see what lies beyond the darkness.


I talk about Joe Dante because I tend to like his films (the very few I've actually seen), and this one is no exception. I loved (LOVED!) this film. It was great from beginning to end with excellent set-ups, a great plot, amazing characters, and a weird horror-comedy fantasy plot that actually made me both pull back from the screen at times and laugh at others. It was really a brilliant film. If you're reading this review right now and haven't seen this flick, just stop reading and go watch this film. Yeah, it has 3D in the title (because it was filmed in 3D) but don't let that throw you off watching the movie (or entice you to watch it either because 3D is generally horrible). The 3D didn't add or subtract from The Hole though. I didn't even notice it until after I started to look stuff up for this review and noticed that the movie was filmed in 3D and yeah...


The acting is amazing by the way. Yes, there are hiccups from time to time, but for the most part it works. The kids are kids. I mean, hell some of the things Dane (played by Chris Massoglia) did, I did myself when I was his age. And it all worked quite well. His performance, although a little wooden at times, really showed a character with depth and maybe some vulnerabilities and a whole lot of loneliness bottled up inside of him. He latched onto the female lead, Julie (played by Haley Bennett), and their chemistry together was fun to watch. Haley Bennett does a great job here as well, showing a range of emotion (maybe not the greatest range, but still a range) and a character that does feel well-rounded despite how little you know about her. Finally there is Lucas (played by Nathan Gamble who was the kid in The Mist.) who acts well beyond his years, having quite possibly the best comic timing and some of the best acting in the movie. The dynamics between Dane and Lucas is really the whole driving point of the movie, and kind of the take home message is that these two didn't really like one another at first, but eventually came together as brothers. It was sweet, well thought out, and well executed. Honestly, all three lead characters have great chemistry with one another, and the quality of their acting was certainly enhanced by acting against one another. I can't even say enough good things about the acting here. I felt that they were kids, and that's something I see so rarely in films like this. Usually the kids in a movie feel like anybody else, mostly like adults writing a kid, but here the kids feel like regular kids and act like regular kids, and it is absolutely a joy to behold.


The story is simple enough, a mother (played by Teri Polo) and her two sons move to a new town to get away from her abusive ex-husband, who is currently locked away in a prison in New Jersey. She gets a new job at a hospital and the boys have some free time to do anything they want to do. It's summer after all, so there are plenty of things to do, right? Well, no. Dane misses his friends and seems to really hate on his young brother, Lucas. He sees his pretty next door neighbor and starts watching her in the most socially awkward way possible, drawing her, and probably actively thinking about maybe possibly dating her. I-I... I don't know... I guess that's what I would be thinking if I had ever been in his shoes... which I haven't been... or... uh, probably haven't been... more than likely... Look, I understand what the dude's thinking, all right? Stop looking at the page like that. It's unbecoming of you.


Anyway, Lucas, being a little snot-nosed punk, goes on the warpath when Dane won't play with him and starts talking to the pretty neighbor girl, Julie, on his own, much to Dane's embarrassment and chagrin. He grabs Lucas to pull him away from talking to Julie, and starts beating the little booger up in the basement only to find...


THE HOLE


Well, they start messing around with this latched door on the floor of their basement, finding it padlocked with, I believe, six separate locks. They find the keys hidden away, and Dane undoes the locks only for them to find a bottomless hole. Julie comes in to see if they've killed one another or not, and stares in amazement at the odd hole herself. They mess around with it even more, sending items into the abyss and filming to see if they would find anything of interest, but they don't see anything of note besides a BOTTOMLESS HOLE UNDER THE HOUSE.


They treat it like a passing interest. Hell, I would probably do the same thing if I found a bottomless hole. I'd send stuff down there, try to tape it, write a blog about it, and ultimately get bored with it and forget about it. Such is my existence, making even the outright bizarre and creepy more mundane than a plain potato. Honestly, I like this part of the movie. The kids act like kids, not like adults writing for kids, which is something I really have to point out as a positive aspect of the film. The kids play around with the hole, and scare themselves... but ultimately... well, the hole wasn't empty... and whatever it was that was down there is coming for them...


I like the claw marks on the inside of the latched door. I like the locks disappearing, the ghostly noises Julie hears at night, the uncanny valley clown puppet that scares the crud out of Lucas, and I like the aesthetics. I like how the tension rises throughout the movie, and I like both the scarier moments and the funnier ones. I like how the scary moments were actually scary and the moments meant to be funny were actually amusing. It's a rare film that can pull off completely different tones from one scene to another and do so flawlessly, and this film does it amazingly. I couldn't stop watching this movie. I couldn't pause it, and I didn't want to pause it. I was totally engrossed in everything with this movie, especially the world of the movie. It simply impressed me to no end to see something that felt like it could have been real.


Anyway, the hole lets out your greatest fears, which you either overcome... or well... don't. And it works quite well showing off itself as both a effective horror movie and as an effective comedy-horror flick. There were certainly moments when I found myself slightly creeped out by what was going and other moments where I was rolling my eyes at the absurdity of the situation. But I think that was the point, to show us just how ridiculous some fears can be. Having a fear of creepy clowns eventually will point out just how ridiculous it is to think that a clown doll can overpower even a child. Fear of an abusive father becomes a ridiculous thing, showing that his own domination over those weaker than him makes him smaller and less intimidating. Showing a little ghost girl and pointing out that she's not some terrifying bogeyman, just a scared little girl who didn't want to die and misses her life... it really works for this movie. It shows the strength of the film through deconstructing fears and what makes a person afraid... also overcoming those obstacles. It's, in some ways, a coming of age story, with each of these characters putting something aside, growing as characters and as people. The development is fantastic, bordering on some of the best character development I've ever seen in a ninety minute movie.  I loved that aspect of the film. It was probably the most appealing thing to me about it, and something I definitely won't soon forget.


 The movie looked amazing as well, not necessarily because it was in 3D either. It looked like a lot of care was put into making the sets, the trapdoor, and the trippy dream sequence kind of thing at the end. I was really impressed by the visuals throughout the film though. I think they'll have a lasting impression on me. The pool scene looked like some of my memories of hanging in a pool or near a pool with high school friends. The basement scenes looked like they were taking place in a creepy basement, but the visuals changed just as soon as the scenes shifted to outside of that basement. The little ghost girl looked like she was made with some kind of stop-animation, and it worked so well, making her seem very creepy and very out of place, like she couldn't work in the real world. It gave the movie a definite fantastic edge that I thought worked incredibly well int he movie's favor.


Anyway, this was a brilliant film that I would recommend to everybody. It works as a family film oddly enough, despite the horror. There isn't much in the way of bad language or gore, and the sexual themes, if you could call them that, are no worse than anything you could see on the Disney channel, for example. (Not that I watch that channel, mind you, just that I've seen my younger cousin watching it and know the stuff on it.) I also find it funny that, although a relationship is hinted at, nothing ever happens between Dane and Julie. Their relationship has an innocence to it that you wouldn't expect, and I really enjoyed that. It happens so rarely that a simple innocent relationship can leave a lasting memory, but it was so much stronger than relationships usually are in these kinds of movies, you know the ones I'm thinking about. The ones that are all about sex and sexual interest and having the female lead lose as much clothes as possible. I don't mind those kinds of films, but I like the innocence here. It's done so rarely, in my opinion, that it really does matter when it's done superbly.


In general I would seriously say that anybody could enjoy this film even despite it's kind of cult film feel. I think it can appeal to a very wide audience, much like Gremlins. Joe Dante did a great job making another film that should be a classic. I'm only sorry to say that I hadn't even heard of the film before I saw it, which is a real travesty. So, I'm giving a glowing recommendation of this film. I really enjoyed everything about it, even the sometimes slightly off acting. There was a charm to this movie that very, very few movies have to them outside of Terry Gilliam movies, Joe Dante movies, and some random '80s and '90s flicks that I look back on nostalgically. I was impressed by this movie so much that I can't even stop smiling about it. Check it out. Find it. Watch it.

Movie Appraisal: Possession (1981)

So, I was about to watch and review the American version of Dark Water and then, seeing as how that movie is pretty terrible, almost ridiculously painful to watch, I stopped and decided to watch Possession instead. So, I'm watching this movie, intrigued by its style and a very young Sam Neill as the male lead, and my mouth drops open, my eyes as wide as they could be, fear and bile are rising in my throat and a thought comes into my head, a thought that seems to be the driving force behind this movie: OhboywhatdidIgetmyselfintohere?

Okay, I think if the image above doesn't tell you that this review may involve some graphic images, then I'm certainly telling you now. The movie is fairly graphic at times, with some of the hardest scenes to watch that I've seen in a very long time. Slasher movies with unrealistic gore and all those gorn films that exist out there have nothing on the methodical and paranoid way that this film drives its creepiness and blurs the edges between reality and fiction. And it does it in such a subtle way, causing the watcher to be dropped down a rabbit hole from which there is no escape. With Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani in the starring roles, this movie has a brilliant cast, amazing acting, and a story that screams paranoia and distress through its every pore.

The cinematography is unsettling to the extent of making the audience itself feel unease at what is coming next. I kept thinking about the scenes that might be coming next, what could happen. And the fact is that this movie surpassed every expectation by bringing out something more disturbing than I had in my own mind every time. The fears and threats that are brought out in this movie incredible. I don't know if I've ever seen a movie that works quite like this or that even feels quite like this one. Everything makes you squirm, from the simple environment to the ways characters act. The character of Anna, the wife, is particularly hard to watch or to be involved with at all. Any person with a significant other who happens to be female will find fear in that character, the cold-bloodedness, the insanity, the beauty mixed with the absolute danger. I've never found myself frightened of small and pretty women, but with the acting here blended with the utter insanity of the character, Anna has entered my own personal nightmares as a demon herself. A man-killing demon.

In some ways I think this movie may in fact be unreviewable. I spent half of the movie (at least half) with my mouth or eyes as wide opened as they could be, both shocked and awed by what I saw. It's so unlike anything else. It's like a movie about insanity that actively involves the viewer in that insanity. I'm not comfortable enough with my own sanity to watch this movie with discomfort. I don't think anybody is.

This movie seems to be an allegory of a disintegrating marriage, separation, and the fact that some people can never work out as a couple, but the movie is damn well near impenetrable at times anyway even with that knowledge. I mean I simply think back on Anna's apartment and the scenes therein or the calm way characters deal with absolute terror, murder, and the most twisted sorts of acts imaginable, and I find this movie viscerally mind-shattering. The twisted and complicated plot, the doppelganger characters, the way that characters react to problems, and the horrific elements of the film are all very intense and are all very confusing, and create a story that literally feels more terrifying than most other movies, even without absolutely horrific images, monsters, or... My point is that there is a subtle horror here, one that hits a person in the back of the mind rather than in the front of the eyes. Focusing on this movie, I found myself needing a break from the intensity, only to find myself drawn back in for another round. Movies like this are very few and far between for me, and that makes it even harder to say that I have no idea whether I liked the movie or not.

I think a few good comparisons in films might be Mulholland Drive by David Lynch or Lost Highway by the same. Possession has a very Lynch-like feel to it despite being a much creepier and crazier ride than either of those movies. Although I will admit that I had a very similar feeling to Mulholland Drive after watching it as I did to Possession. Both films gave me a lot to think about, and both were not necessarily a film I came out loving. In some ways, to a video gaming crowd, the film also reminded me of Silent Hill 2 and its plot. I can't really explain the connection except that the feeling of the two movies somehow seemed similar to me. I really can't say why, just a brain thought I had, I guess.

Andrzej Żuławski directs this film beautifully and almost sadly. There is an intensity to every scene, and it is also very hectic even while nothing is actively going on. The filming itself is very different, evoking Lynch and also other directors who have chosen to explore the mind and its facets. The imagery is wonderful, blending mundane and absolute horror without alienating itself. It's very reminiscent of Jacob's Ladder is some very specific ways and that is probably the strongest comparative piece I know of. I have heard that Repulsion by Polanski would be a similar comparative piece, but although I own it, I've never actually watched it. So, I have a very hard time comparing it.

I had never heard of Possession before, even being the psychological horror fan that I am. I'm incredibly glad that I found it and could watch it, but at the same time it's almost as if my brain has gone through a change by watching it. I feel like I'll never be the same, never look at a relationship... or for that matter a woman... the same way again. There is such an emphasis on a lack of knowledge between two people, lack of trust as well, showing both as hypocrites looking for perfection and instead getting a normal person as a spouse or significant other. It's a very powerful message, one that I have a hard time not squirming at in one way or another.

I don't know how much I should actually say about the movie. It's heavily metaphorical, but plays as if it is a plotted out story. The problem is that although the story is not hard to follow, the captivating element is not the story or the plot, but rather the interactions between characters and those characters interacting with their environments as well. Mark, played by Sam Neill, plays an undeniably Sam Neill role, both crazy and sane, hero and villain, blending the lines as he has proven time and time again that he can do so well. This is certainly a wonderful preview of the things that would come from his career. The way he nonchalantly cuts himself on the electric steak knife, cold eyes, no wince in pain... that image will stay with me for a very long time.

To point out just how... how tough this movie is to review and watch and... and enjoy, I guess... I'll describe a scene: Anna moans at a statue of Jesus while holding a bag for a straight minute, begging or pleading perhaps. Then a scene goes by and she absolutely freaks out in a subway station for minutes as liquid pours out of her. This is the story of her miscarriage. Think about that for a minute. Those first two sentences are literally Anna telling Mark how she miscarried. Oh my... how can I even, for a minute, begin to express words that mean anything to this movie? How can I go and say I understand it as well as I should?

It's a brilliant movie, in my opinion, but difficult to follow. I assume with repeat viewings I'll get more out of it, but I'm going to find myself hardpressed to watch it again anytime soon.

Anyway, I recommend it to people who like psychological horror, but with the warning that it is a really screwed up movie, one that really might affect you in an unexpected way. I think I liked it, but I really can't promise that I did. That's weird when I can't even decide whether I liked it or not. Really weird...

Anyway, I've been doing this blog for two years today. I've had a crazy time doing it. I really wanted to get a review out today and since Dark Water sucked pretty badly (although I'll probably review it) I thought that an actually deep and interesting movie would be a good one for a two year review. Oh, and if any readers have any questions on the movie, ask in the comment section, and I'll try to answer as best as I can. It's a really cool movie to debate and talk about.

Movie Appraisal: Dragonheart (1996)

Dragonheart is one of those movies that I grew up on. I mean, sure, I was all of seven when it came out, but I still saw this movie in a movie theater. Oh, yes indeed, I did. And I absolutely loved it back then. Recently at a book fair, I found the DVD of this movie, bought it, and watched the whole thing for the first time in years. How does it hold up for a huge fan of it when he was seven? Well, let's see.

I have to say that I love this movie up and down. It's a fantasy film that works in every conceivable way. It has a freaking dragon, who's actually a good guy. It has a knight that actually acts and seems like a knight. It has a tough '90's-styled female character who can take care of herself despite this movie taking place in 984 in England. Hell, it even looks really good. The CGI, although early CGI, is actually ridiculously good and works better than it ever should have. Oh, and the movie even has a message to take home, that the guy that you think you know may just be an absolute jerk and you might not know it.

Dennis Quaid is so good in this movie as Bowen. I mean, I'm certainly not the biggest fan of Dennis Quaid, but he was great in Pandorum and he's fantastic in this movie. I could watch him running around getting into trouble all day long. Hell, give me a series based off of him doing stuff, and I'd be ridiculously happy. Sean Connery shines as Draco the dragon. His voice coming out of the dragon's mouth, just seems to work against all logic and rational thought. And I love it. Pete Postlethwaite plays Brother Gilbert, a somewhat poetic traveling monk who helps Bowen at various points in the adventure. He is seriously amazing in the movie, showing off both seriousness and comedy. And the best part is that both make sense when it comes to the character. Dina Meyer plays Kara, the tough female of the movie, and she's very fun to watch at times even if her character's motivation can be summed up by nothing more than It's the 1990s! Julie Christie and David Thewlis also star as the mother of the king and the King of the kingdom in the movie. David Thewlis shines as the villain of the piece. He really does a great job at making the watcher hate him.

Anyway, the movie is a typical fantasy story about rebels taking over a kingdom with the help of a dragon. There's some good morality, some '90s humor, very good characterizations and acting, a great soundtrack, and in general one of the best tones from any movie that I grew up on. I mean, the film really does hold up quite well even after sixteen years. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it again, laughing at bits, feeling sad at other bits, and I simply had a great time reliving the experience of watching it.

This movie is one that I can certainly recommend to anybody who's willing to watch it with an open-mind. It was a good kid's movie back in my day (even though it's rated PG-13), and I think it works as a kid's movie just as much as The Lord of the Rings does. The humor and brilliant storytelling would really make any child look up at this film and be interested. It really is one of the movies that defined my childhood. Hell, along with Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Aladdin, and Jumanji it is probably one of the best movie memories of my childhood.

Anyway, this isn't going to be a long review. Not much more I can say. It's a standard fantasy film that works incredibly well, and looks and sounds absolutely fantastic. This movie is the very definition, for me, of what a fantasy film should be along with The Lord of the Rings and maybe Willow.

Video Game Assessment: Nier (2010)

So, I bought this game for all of eleven dollars. I want that... no, I need that to be known. Eleven dollars for a fairly new game (only two years old) is basically unheard of. Most games sell for twenty to thirty dollars or more even after five years. Why is this game so cheap? Why is it one of the games that has been forgotten by the masses? Forgotten by the public to sleep in its lonely version of hell for all eternity?

I'm not one for anime games. I like some Japanese games, sure, but they are decidedly not anime. I mean, I had a hard enough time actually playing these anime video games in the first place or watching those anime movies. (I'm going to use anime as an adjective here for a while as I rant.) I mean, sure I liked Final Fantasy IX well enough (although not well enough to finish that game. I hate grinding.). And... uh... I think that's about it for JRPGs and me. I mean, I don't even particularly love RPGs in general. Sure, I like some specific instances or series of RPGs (BioWare, Bethesda, and Obsidian RPGs come to mind), but for the mos part I'm not overly fond of the genre. I mean, sure, the Dragon Age games were fun, but repetitive. Skyrim and Oblivion were expansive, but felt so empty. Mass Effect is great, but is much more a shooting and action game at this point than a serious RPG. And Obsidian is just awesome, so let's leave it at that.

My point here is that although I may talk about RPGs, it's much more about the time required to play the game rather than the game itself. Because I take so much time to play the games I much more willing to rant and rave about an RPG than any other game. And this is why I find my eleven dollar copy of Nier so preposterous. It's absolutely ridiculous that this thing is selling for eleven dollars. It's like a slap in the face that this game has been hidden away while crap games are top on every gamer's radar. Hell, I barely knew about this game until now, two years later, when I happened to hear a little of the game's music and found myself intrigued enough to go spend the measly eleven dollars on the game.

Sure, I had heard things about the game, but I also keep my ears open for games like this, games that get mediocre to crappy scores on game review sites, but seem to have their own small fanbase behind them. Another intriguing thing about this game was the story and character heavy elements that it seemingly had within it. I love story in my video games. I was dubious, of course, because anime... but I found myself giving into the notion of the game.

Now, what can I say about this game? Is it perfect? No. There's a lot of issues here. The sidequests can be and are awful. Leveling up weapons is equally bad. Hell, anything that involves grinding for items is basically awful,but those are extras. I guess if you want to do those things (and you never have to do them) then it will be a slog, but... I think it would be a worthy slog. Look, I'm not here to praise a game up and down, not looking at flaws, but I am also certainly not here to give the review for this game that everybody else seems to give it. I mean, seriously guys? This is why critics are always wrong, be they gaming or otherwise. Don't listen to them. I mean, sure, they can be correct about the big games from time to time, but games like this, games that skirt under the radar, they are almost always wrong about.

It reminds me of the situation the gaming community had with Deadly Premonition. I loved Deadly Premonition. It was one of the best games I've ever played despite the dated visuals and not great gameplay. I loved the game because it had heart. It had something to it that most corporate games don't. It had a feeling that was more than just "go here and kill things." It was a game unto itself. One that could stand all by itself and not take all of the other games' crap. It was not a rehash of an existing game. Sure, it took from Twin Peaks, but why not? Twin Peaks is and was awesome and why not utilize that unique feeling into a video game? And they did. They made it amazing, putting so much more into that game than Twin Peaks ever did in two seasons (and I love Twin Peaks.).

My point in comparing these two games: Nier and Deadly Premonition, is that I didn't know what to expect from either of them. Deadly Premonition looked weird, but was certainly my type of game, a mixed horror genre type of game in a Twin Peaks style, while Nier... well, Nier is part of a genre of games I don't particularly love, relying on anime characters, published by Square Enix... It has many checks against it, is what I'm saying. And yet...

And yet, I don't know if there is a better game out there for story right now. I mean, sure, not everybody is going to be down with the story it tells. It reminds me of a mature version of Kingdom Hearts, and I loved those games. This one, though, is better. The story is gripping, the characters are utterly amazing, the feeling of playing this game is priceless.

The game is slow, I'm not going to give any other impression of it. The beginning is a slow build-up to the main story, introducing characters and plots all over the place while exploring the setting. The sidequests give a good feel to the world even if they can be a slog. They paint an important picture of the entire story, something that not many games do.

I don't know if I've ever played a game that felt half as poignant as this. I mean, yes, Silent Hill 2 does it fantastically, and is one of the saddest games that I have ever played. But Nier does it almost as well, and certainly does it more often. Obviously quality count more than quantity about such things, but the feelings and emotions Nier evokes are outstandingly well done from beginning to end. A world is created and drawn together. These characters exist, no longer characters, but people... and then comes the deconstruction. This game, like some before it, deconstructs the video game media, making it almost into a criticism of video games as much as a hack-and-slash game about killing things.

The mixture of gameplay elements and the story blend together almost seamlessly. Every moment during play, you think, you wonder, you may even hate the random item drops for quest pickups, but there is constant and deliberate thought by the player throughout the game. The characters are ambiguous, the plot is ambiguous... hell, even the gameplay is ambiguous, and I've never been happier to say that. Everything blends together to create a game that is everything as well as nothing, ultimately telling the player that it was all for nothing... and yet, for everything still. It was like looking at real life, even for a moment and finally understanding that there is something bigger than any of us, and that even though one person can screw a lot of things up, there might not be anybody left to put those pieces back together again.

I'm being vague on purpose. The true story is something simple and yet so elusive, like water draining through fingers. It moves and breathes along with the characters, and eventually everything seems to be more complex than it had ever seemed, much like real life. There are no bad guys here, no ultimate evil that needs fixing like in so many RPGs and JRPGs. This "evil" is the evil of randomness, of a bad hand, of fate... of whatever you want to call it. All of these characters own a motivation. All of these little plots make sense despite it being in a freaking video game.

I don't think I've ever truly felt sad for a background NPC before this game came around. I don't think I'd ever felt like crying when a character died or was killed before this game. Hell, only Boromir's death in LotR was strong enough to evoke emotions like that, and this game does it for background characters! I mean, come on!

The story here, I believe it's translated into English, is fantastically done. the translation is easily one of the best from Japanese I have ever seen. The voice actors also shine with their lines, with almost every character in the game sounding real instead of awkward like some video games can sound. Nier himself (the dude on the cover) is just about as strange a JRPG or even regular RPG protagonist as one can get. He's a middle-aged muscle-bound man with a daughter. How strange is that? (Yes, I know the Japanese version has a younger "brother" version of Nier, but I didn't play that version, and therefore have no reason to talk about it.)

As for the other characters, I'll remain vague. They all have character arcs, some sad, some very sad, and one or two even happily poignant in the end. I don't think I've seen another game with quite the depth of character that this game seems to have. Every character is consistent and wonderfully done from beginning to end. I can't even fathom how that's even possible. I can't think of another game that does that. Even my favorite game KotOR II, suffers from some crappy characters (like Bao-Dur), so this seems almost unsettling to me, almost unreal.

As for other things, well, the gameplay is solid. I like it. There's nothing insane about it, nothing crazy. It's fairly standard, but has some changeups from time to time, becoming a top-down shooter at points, or looking like some old dungeon crawler at other points. Hell, there are also sidescrolling platformer elements to it as well as some absurdly awesome bullet hell gameplay. It's ridiculous, and I love it for being ridiculous.

The look of the game is fantastic even though at times the bloom can be a little distracting. I was playing it, and I found the landscape, although somewhat barren at times, to be fantastically done. I liked exploring it or simply looking at the sky. I can't think of looking at the sky to be a gameplay element in any other game (except maybe Skyrim) but here it looks so good that I can't complain.

The music is what attracted me to the game, and I have to put in a special mention to the FANTASTIC music that's in the game. My God is the music good. I'm considering buying the soundtrack because it's just that good. Hell, I've had the music for the game just playing in the background because I like it so much. I can't think of many other games where I've found the music such a compelling part of the game. Maybe Skyrim again, but there it was two tracks of music in particular. With this game it's every track.

I'm not going to spoil elements of the game, but there are part of it, specifically towards the end, that are... simply put, fantastic and sad, and done the exact right way. I want to recommend the game to literally everybody who can spend eleven dollars on it. It's worth those eleven dollars and so much more. Even if you don't like it, I think you'd find it hard to say it isn't worth those eleven measly bucks.

The game, though, isn't for everyone, and that needs to be known. It's a story-based game that has some weaker gameplay elements to it (which I don't mind in the slightest because if I can play the game then the gameplay is absolutely fine, but a lot of people seem to mind quite a bit about that). This game is not mediocre, but really, really good. Don't go into it expecting a happy ending. And don't go into it if you don't want a gritty and somewhat sadly realistic version of the world. If you hate everything, this might be the game for you, but even moreso if you want something intelligently done that thrives off of a brilliantly done deconstruction of story, game, and characters... then this might very well be the game for you.

I wish I could go all in and ruin the plot, describing just how good the twists and turns of the story is: the King of Facade, Kaine, Emil, Yonah... the bosses (which are incredible and so great to fight), Nier's village, the temples, the way that the game has bookends, the way it all makes sense despite its heavy plot. I think it puts this game a cut above many others. It certainly puts it into my top echelon of games to stay.

Nier, a game that cost me eleven dollars, which I expected nothing from and got a world, you have surpassed not only my expectations, but the expectations of any video game. This is a game that should be played by everybody. I can't recommend it enough. Go and play it if you have that chance, and if you already have then I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Edit: One more thing before I call this review a complete wrap. The pacing of this game s very strange. The first act (before the clear demarcation of the acts), moves very slowly, especially if you are a completionist like myself. Not a ton happens, and most of it is there to introduce the plot, the characters, and the settings. Most of the first act is filler until the end of the act. The bosses are not well characterized, and, in general, it can get kind of boring if you don't know what comes next. But don't give up! All is not lost!

The second act moves at a very good pace, with no real screwing around when it comes to fighting or anything else. Nier, by the second  act, is very strong, able to kill most enemies in a few strikes. Even bosses aren't that much trouble. The game uses those introductions from the first act to build up on characters, plots, and settings. I think it succeeds in this admirably.

The pacing issue is one that I noticed myself, but I think it's actually a great decision by the game, showing a clear difference between the first and second acts in so many ways: in terms of color pallets, pacing, ease of the game, openness of the story, and ambiguity of basically all of the characters.

Video Game Assessment: Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception (2011)

Hell yes. Hell yes!

My review of this game was originally going to be me saying that simple sentence above about fifty times. That's what this game is. It's a can of "Hell yes!" This game is fantastic through-and-through, great levels, great gameplay, great characters, and great story. There's almost nothing to dislike here, unless you dislike mass slaughter in video games or Nathan Drake as a character. Well, I guess you could be in the audience that doesn't like it because it rips off of Indiana Jones. Fair enough, I say.

Well, despite being a bit of a rip-off, it's a fantastic rip-off. It's a game that looks and feels original even while seeming to be a bit of a love letter to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It's a good movie to give a love letter to, easily my favorite Indiana Jones film, and despite being similar to the movie, Uncharted 3 does a lot differently. The story is wholly original. The gameplay feels sublime. The characters are realistic and wonderfully done through and through. Sully is fantastic. Cutter, a character introduced in this game, is also fantastic. Drake himself is wonderful as well. The game plays the same as its always played, but there are some interesting innovations, mostly with fighting mechanics. Boy, did they love those fisticuffs mechanics.

And you know something? It works. The fights have weight behind them and never really feel old or tiring. The places where a gun fight is going to be difficult, the gun fight is difficult. The places where climbing or running from something is going to be difficult, it's difficult there too. The game feels right. It feels good. Certainly there are some rougher things, but innovation is going to get you that. Some of the scenes and story moments go on a little too long or don't make as much sense as they should, and, like the second game, some parts of the game can be incredibly frustrating and trial-and-error.

Now, that's not a bad thing. It just simply is. Games should be difficult to feel like you've accomplished something in the end. And I feel like I have simply by playing this game. I feel like I can't say as much as I want to or need to. I can't say enough good things about this game.

The locales are gorgeous as is expected in these games. And the first half of the game is brilliant in my opinion. The pacing, the gameplay, the look and feel of the game... everything is right. The characters and situations works well together, blending ideas and emotions, and making something suitably awesome in its wake. The villains are some of the best villains I've ever seen. They're easy to hate and wonderful to hate. There was even a scene near the middle of the game that made me recoil from the screen seeing how ruthless the main villain of the game is. I don't think that any other game has ever made me do that, and that's a testament to the power of writing in this game.

The second half is also well done, but also very challenging. There are fewer characters to interact with, and that buddy system throughout the first half of the game seems to go away in the second, and, honestly, it felt disappointing to leave certain characters behind. I did like the Arabic levels though. I can speak and understand a smattering of basic Arabic, and it was cool to hear and understand some common phrases. I thought it was neat, but that's just because it personally wowed me.

The ending and some of the more psychological elements to the game are also fantastic, but knowing me, they would be, wouldn't they? I have a thing for well done psychological stuff and this game has a good heap of it, especially towards the end. Hell, it kind of throws in some dark psychological horror like stuff, and how could I not like that? Seriously.

I also loved the voice acting and the music and everything about this game. The difficulty could be a bit bad at times, but never bad enough that I couldn't finish a level. Honestly, altogether, it was a fantastic game and I have nothing bad to rant about and only good things to say, so I'm going to recommend it and stop.

Anyway, this was my favorite new game of the year, and what a year it's been. I've played through a few games for the first time this year, including Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Dragon Age II, Uncharted 3, The Lord of the Rings: War in the North, Portal 2, Psychonauts, and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Honestly I've liked them all. Uncharted 3 is still my favorite of the year though, and, honestly, I kind of like it better than the second game as well. But anyway, those are my two cents.

I do have some more reviews coming in January, don't you worry, but this will be my last review of the year. Expect a heavy review of Mass Effect 2 as well as a possible review of Dungeon Siege III if I finish it in time. I have some movies I'll probably check out as well, and maybe a book or two if I get the time to read. Anyway, I'm off for this year! Have a great new year! 2012, fun times, right there... yup.

Video Game Assessment: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (2011)

 

This game is a juggernaut of immersion and space. This is... you know what? It's not just a game. It can't be simply a game. It feels like a reality simulation. Not that it, in fact, deals with reality at all, being fantasy and all, but it feels more real than reality, looks more real than reality, and takes you in more than reality. It's incredible. This game has an immersion level that, I think, is unprecedented. Its locales are topnotch, beautiful and wonderfully rendered. The weapons have weight behind them as you swing them, or shoot them at enemies. The items are all there, from cups to any kind of food a fantasy realm should have, to books full of words. It's incredible how much detail is in this game.

Now, I'm going to put a few things out in the open right now. In my opinion these kinds of games have very specific weaknesses, and I'll get into that in a few lines. The biggest thing to remember though is that this game is quality whether you like it or not, and you'll probably like it, it is a well put together video game that is basically everything a video game should be. You fight things, you explore, you do quests, you level up. BAM. And that's just on a basic level. You want to do other things, you can do those things too. Kill off an entire village? Go ahead and do it, buddy. Want to go and explore thousand year old ruins of a forgotten civilization ending up in a place called Blackreach that glows and is full of that civilization's former slaves that are now insane and evil creatures bent on destruction of all other forms of life? Well, you can do that too.

There's so much here for Bethesda to be proud of, and I hope they are. Their sales numbers for the game should be making them happy at least. And that's fantastic. Despite what I'm going to say later on, this is the direction video games should be taking. This is the right direction despite Skyrim's faults and missteps. And thats what you should take away from this review. I have a huge recommendation for you to go out and buy this game and play it if you have the time and the console (or PC) for it. Seriously, if you haven't played it yet, you're missing something special. It will take up a bunch of your time. There's no escaping that. There's no 100% in this game either. It goes on, quite literally, forever, having sidequests that appear randomly and the ability to just keep doing things for as long as you want to do things.

The exploration is done well in that Oblivion and Fallout 3 kind of way in which dungeon exploration is unique and feels like an adventure within itself. You'll want to explore every dungeon, but God speed on that. There are a lot, and by a lot, I mean a ton, of dungeons to explore. And every one is unique and worth exploring. WOW.

As for the negatives, sure there are negatives, and anybody who tells you there aren't is just stupid, not paying attention, or maybe they hate you. That could be a good reason for not telling a person the faults in the game.

Well, the first fault is the bugs (and the glitches). Whew boy are there a lot of bugs. People seem to trade the bugs they've seen in Skyrim like old war wounds or something. It's kind of incredible. I've never seen a game's bugs be almost as popular as the game itself before, well except maybe in Red Dead Redemption when people acted like animals. But that was incredibly strange too. The biggest bugs I found in my game were pretty mundane in comparison to a lot of people's bugs. I found a lot of textural issues, especially with water just disappearing and I'd be swimming through... what seemed to be nothing at all. So, yeah, that was odd. I also found myself, once, dying from a foot high fall. For some reason the game decided that I was falling from a huge height when i was just stepping down  about a foot or so. So, yeah, that was odd. Some enemies also acted kind of strangely in my game, not attacking me simply because I was on the opposite side of a door they were standing on the other side of. Well, it made it easy for me to kill them, but it was strange, again. For the most part I didn't encounter a ton of glitches. Floating things happened quite a bit too, like floating cups or corpses, but that happens in all of Bethesda's games, so I'm used to that by now. But the biggest glitch or bug I encountered was rather game breaking though. I was in a dungeon and tried to go back through a door I had come in previously and the game would crash every time I went through that door. I had to go forward. The game was making me go forward. It didn't help that I thought I missed something important in that last room and I was really lost. That was particularly bad.

But those are bugs. Who cares about bugs? I usually don't complain about them unless they are like that one bug in Dragon Age: Origins- Awakening, the expansion pack for the first Dragon Age game, where certain quests literally couldn't be completed, some of them important to characters or plot. I hated that bug so much. I also have to say one more thing, I hate people complaining about some games with bugs and praising other games with bugs. I like Fallout: New Vegas. I like it a lot. It was one of my favorite games last year if not my favorite besides Deadly Premonition, and people constantly complain about it having bugs when I have not seen a single one in THREE PLAYTHROUGHS. Yes, the game crashes on me a few times, but there's a chance that any game will crash. Mass Effect crashed on me last month when I was playing it. It's stupid to complain about something that happens in every game. I hate the people who rag on New Vegas for seemingly no reason. Go get a life, trashwads. If you're not going to complain about Skyrim, Fallout 3, or Oblivion, do not complain about New Vegas when it is clearly better than at least two of those other games. Actually I like it better than Skyrim too, but that is literally personal preference.

And I guess this is the time I go and say why my opinions of Skyrim have gone down since really playing the game in depth. Not that I think it's a bad game. I don't. It's just that there are some very shallow aspects of the game and it really takes me out of the immersion. And they're things that the studio should have concentrated on more. It was always their weakness and... they could make a brilliant game if only they concentrated more on it. The thing I speak of are realistic characters and good plots. Yes, the game goes on forever, but without good quests and sidequests, why the hell would I want to play it forever?

First up: characters. Why, oh why, Bethesda do you insist on making games without good characters? Yes, there are several good characters in this game, almost all exclusively in the Dark brotherhood sidequest like Oblivion, but most of the characters are shallow to the extreme, with no discernible personalities or characteristics. Even the main characters in the game like the ones involved in the rebellion or killing the main enemy of the game... well, even they're mostly very shallow. Why? Companion characters have no real depth besides what the player put on them. They have no sidequests, no real anything... And this is where New Vegas wins, with its focus on character (Think of almost any companion character from that game or House or Benny or Caesar or... the list goes on and on.) and plot. Skyrim's characters are just weak messes on the floor compared to New Vegas and it shows. It shows time and time again. I like strong charactered games. It's why I liked Dragon Age II so much despite seemingly every person who has a computer literally hating that game so much that I feel their brains are going to have rage aneurysms. Characters matter to me and Skyrim did not do its best there, and I feel bad about that. I dislike that failure on their part. The depth and the immersion is gone when I realize that all the characters around me are shallow automatons. And maybe this is just a problem specific to me, but I doubt it. I think it's an issue for everybody. Maybe you don't actively see it as an issue, but your brain certainly does when you finally put the game down because you can't get into it anymore.

Second: plot. Why is the plot so shallow and irrelevant? You don't really even need to do the plot. I know that's almost standard in these types of games but... come on! Go kill a dragon. It's vitally important. Okay, I'll do it after I explore for fifty hours in dungeons and such. But VITALLY IMPORTANT! Nah, bro, game's not going to end. I can do what I want. The whole issue here is that there is never a feeling that you have to do anything... which means that the plot is literally unimportant. It's about exploration, not about story, and, again, there is a shallowness to it. This could very well just be me and my own preference as well. My girlfriend who's been playing the game as well has no issue with this complaint, liking the freedom, but she also hasn't played it anywhere near as long as I have, so there's that. This doesn't bother me as much as characters, but it does bother me when there is a strongly put together plot in the Dark Brotherhood sidequest and the VERY END of the main quest and nowhere else. I mean, yes, I guess the Thieve's Guild quest is all right, but again... the plot is just nowhere near where the Dark Brotherhood's quest is. And I love the Dark Brotherhood and that quest. It works so well and is brilliant through-and-through. I mean, the only good quest with believable characters from Oblivion was the Dark Brotherhood one too. Well, at least they're consistent... I guess I want more from my quests, some sense of urgency, some reason to care and I haven't really gotten those at all, not in Skyrim, not in the way I feel urgent about New Vegas, or even Fallout 3. It just... it feels like it was made to be a wandering simulator with characters and plots as an afterthought, and when those are two of my favorite things about a video game, it ruins my desire to play the game more. I just reviewed War of the Ring and I really liked it. It had good characters and a plot that I could get behind and support. I wanted to end the bad guy and win the game for the good guys because it made me care by good writing and a good plot. Skyrim really has neither with the exception of the Dark Brotherhood. For such a big game, it is quite shallow.

Well, those are my complaints. Altogether though, this is a good game for the people who have the time to play it and get really immersed into it. I complain because I like the game and want it to be better, not because I think it's bad at all. A lot of people have put this game as their best game of the year, and I can see why. It's brilliantly crafted and put together even with the faults, but this isn't my favorite game of the year  because of those faults and because I think another game or two were better in terms of a lot of things including characters and plots. So, this game is tied for third in my game of the year title with Dragon Age II, both good games in their own rights, but both with some fairly fundamental flaws.

My game of the year will be my next review by the way. Portal 2 came in second for me.

Anyway, my final thought for Skyrim: great game, well put together, great music, great gameplay, repetitive voice acting, lack of plot and characters besides Dark Brotherhood, a great time sink, fun game, dragon killing is the BEST, and draugrs appear way too often and lose their mystery. Seriously though, if you have the means and opportunity to play it, I recommend it. It's an experience at least, one that won't soon be forgotten. There's something about wandering the beautiful environments that's ridiculously awesome. And everything looks gorgeous. Get out on your adventure, and have a great time killing those stinkin' dragons!

Movie Appraisal: The Thing (1982)

The ultimate in alien terror indeed.

John Carpenter's The Thing, directed by John Carpenter, starring Kurt Russell, is one of the greatest horror films of all time. It is a remake of The Thing From Another World, a film that I also reviewed at one point. That film was not terrible, but this film is absolutely brilliant from beginning to end.

As I've mentioned before, John Carpenter is one of my favorite directors of all time, and this film is a big reason for it. Yes, I have a fairly biased opinion towards this movie, but I only have that opinion because it is so blasted fantastic. The atmosphere, the isolation, the body-horror, and the unknown all come together in this movie, showing that a movie can be mainstream, terrifying, and atmospheric, which is incredibly rare in films that come out today.

This movie is easily one of the most recognizable and easily accessible horror movies of all time. Most people who have ever known anything about horror, would probably know something about this film. Josh Carpenter created his masterpiece in this movie, which he never again equaled in any of his other horror movies... arguably he never reached this level again.

Now, as I've mentioned before, I really like John Carpenter films until the mid-1990s or so. But with In The Mouth of Madness and after he seemed to have faltered quite a bit. I really like that film, but it can easily be seen as utterly ridiculous, with sometimes incredibly bad acting and out-of-place humor throughout the film. And maybe that's why I have a problem with late Carpenter... but, I'm getting all over the place rather than focusing on The Thing.


The Thing is an atypical movie for so many reasons. It does everything that most horror movies don't let themselves do. It contains absolutely no female actresses and as an added bonus, has no screaming women. It kills off animals, dogs in particular, as well as much of the actual cast. It has an utterly bleak ending, one that gives little hope to an actual happy ending, and it all takes place in an area on Earth that few of us would ever understand. Antarctica is wholly an alien place to us, feeling just as extraterrestrial as an alien world. The feeling of isolation permeates the movie, coming into especial prominence as the titular thing takes over more and more people and animals.

The flamethrowers, the heavy use of body-horror, and the outstanding special effects give this movie an absolutely unique flavor that is all its own. The acting is topnotch, the directing is masterful, and the fear of the horror permeates the screen itself making this easily one of the best alien horror movies of all time along with The Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 or 1978) and... well, not much else that I can think of. Alien movies are not exactly my thing, I have to admit. Aliens really do tend to bore me. Maybe the Alien series is really good, and maybe I should really check it out, but I have no real desire to do so. It seems like more action than horror to me and that automatically makes it less interesting to me.

Wow, I am digressing like crazy during this review, going off on wild tangents only marginally related to the topic at hand. Look, watch this movie, horror fan or not. John Carpenter puts himself on top of the masters of horror with this movie and... well, it really is fantastic from beginning to end. The isolation and atmosphere are simply amazing and everything else in the movie comes together. For me, this movie embodies what I love about 1980s in horror. It is a classic film and everybody in the universe needs to watch it at least once in their lifetimes. Yes, even babies.

And things, I suppose... although they might not be rooting for MacReady... and shame on them. Yes, you heard me, shame on you, you stinking alien brats, thinking you can take us over like some kind of crazy parasite. Where's my flamethrower? I need to check if people are things...

Movie Appraisal: Ink (2009)

Have you ever wanted to see a truly artistic film, a film that is every facet of beautiful and endearing? Have you ever wanted to fall into the realm of the story of a movie so fully that the movie seems to become real to you?

I know I speak out a ton about some of my favorite movies, and sure, maybe I'm wrong about their quality, but I enjoy them quite a bit, and this movie is in my top movies of all time. It's not because it's psychological horror or because it's Jacob's Ladder, but because this movie stands on its own. It does things I've never seen movies do before. It uses the visual effects to its advantage rather than its disadvantage like most modern movies seem to. I can compare the Star Wars prequel movies here or Transformers, movies that used special effects to look "cool" or whatever the hell they were trying to do. I don't even care because all those movies are terrible.

Ink, on the other hand, is a wonderful case of needing the visual effects for the story to be better. And the story is so absolutely stunning that I don't even have the words for it. I watched the movie for the first time about a year ago and fell in love with every aspect of it. There was not a single line that made me cringe, not a single scene that made me question the motivations of the characters or the people making this film. It comes off as a beautiful story from beginning to end, a fairy tale in some ways, and in others nothing more than a dream, but a dream with so much meaning.

Yes, I tend to like the "It was all just a dream." or "The guy was dead/dying the whole time." kind of plots. And this has elements of that, but it also has, I think, a deeper meaning than most of those types of movies. I think it is in many ways much more metaphorical, and also much more beautiful. It isn't trying to be horrifying, it's trying to tell a story, and for that I have to give it all the recommendation I can possibly give. It feels like a true hero story, from the beginning and the introduction to the characters' struggles and trials, to the middle, the darkest point, where nothing is certain, to the end where everything is resolved and you kind of just want to sit down and cry for a while because of just how sad, bittersweet, and beautiful this movie is.

Ink reminds me of What Dreams May Come quite a bit, if you've ever seen or hear of that book/movie before. The plot is somewhat similar, but flipped, and the situations are very different, but the stories end up being very similar to one another. And because What Dreams May Come is one of my favorite stories I have to say that it makes Ink that much better.

This is one of the few movies I would say benefits from its characters and story. Most movies have characters that don't matter and a story that barely exists, but this film relies so heavily on those things that it would be nothing at all without it.

I guess I should summarize the story... Anyway, there's a man who's depressed, his daughter who is taken by an ugly, scarred brute, and the being who seem to protect the people of the world. That's about all I can say. I hate giving the story or plot of this movie away. It's better to watch it than have me reveal all of its secrets. The movie is actually free to watch online. I don't think the filmmakers charge anything to watch it, or at least they didn't back when I watched it the first time.

This is truly one of my favorite movies and I think it should be required watching for every single living person. It's simply that good.

One thing I do have to say is that I was checking this film's Wikipedia page, and it told me that this film's genre is science fiction and fantasy. It's not. Wikipedia lies so badly it actually makes me want to rage throw Wikipedia out of a window. This film is very psychological and very dreamlike, but there is absolutely no sci-fi anywhere in this, and the fantasy element is less fantasy and more straight psychological metaphor. I would group this film much closer to the Silent Hill movie, for instance, than to Inception, just because of the metaphorical ideas presented within. I don't think the meaning of the movie is pointedly hard to get or anything, but it seems like a lot of people really don't understand this film when it's actually quite easy to see what it's about if you pay any attention at all. I guess I think that most people don't really get a movie like this because they're too stupid to actually pay attention to anything for a few minutes straight without wanting something to explode or a big famous actor to come on screen or something. Society makes me sick.

This film is such a wonderful experience. It made me, the harsh cynical Saquarry, who hates everybody and everything, really want to give everybody a collective hug and kind of tear up a little and pretend I had something in my eye... because I did have something in my eye, all right? I was totally not crying. My point is that this is a feel-good movie with elements of being bittersweet. It's the movie equivalent of hugging a cute puppy.

Now, go watch this film. No, stop reading this and go watch it. You're wasting your time and mine continuing to read this when you should be watching the film and doing something productive. Fine, I'll stop and you can go and watch it and you can tell me how right I was and I can act smugly superior for a while.

Yeah.

Video Game Assessment: Portal (2007)

So, when I think of a wonderful and nearly perfect video game, Portal is it. I'm not going to go ranting and raving about how good this game is because every other reviewer worth anything has said the same thing. This game is amazingly fun. It's a puzzle game that's unlike anything you have ever seen before. It has amazing graphics, a wonderful pace, and an interesting story presented in an extremely memorable way.

Basically the point of the game is to go through a series of "test chambers" and complete puzzles while a female computerized voice (named GLaDOS) gives you advice and kind of helps you throughout the different chambers eventually leading to... well, I'm not going to spoil that...

The premise of the puzzles is that you have to use a gun that creates a "portal" between two different places in the chamber and use combinations of gravity, inertia, and general physics to solve the different puzzles.

Valve created this game and it does use the same kind of graphics and physics engine that Half-Life 2 does. It looks incredibly good and is an incredibly fun game to play. Its short length (I can beat it in about ninety minutes or so.) really does leave you wanting more, and not many games today do that. Most games seem to overstay their welcome while Portal doesn't in the slightest, which is probably why there is a sequel coming out soon... the demand for this type of game is huge.

I'm not going to say much more. If you haven't heard of this game, you really should look into it, and if you have then you don't need me to tell you how good it is. If you like games and haven't played this one, what the hell are you waiting for? If you don't like games, I still recommend trying Portal out. It's fun and intelligent, and really is one of the best video games out there PERIOD. I mean, it's an incredible game and needs to be seen to be truly believed.

This is one of my favorite video games. I really enjoy it. Check it out if you get the chance. Just remember that (I'm going to smack myself after saying these memes, but I think it will be worth it because this is a review dammit.) "the cake is a lie" and that you have to kill your best friend, the companion cube. Also, you're a monster.

There, are those enough memes? Can I stop now? Yeah, now you're thinking with portals...

Movie Appraisal: Event Horizon (1997)

Okay, so I know that this movie isn't particularly well liked by pretty much anybody. So, I'm going to continue being controversial and I have to say that I love this movie. Parts of it were chilling, the horror was great, and the imagery (I go back to that yet again) was FANTASTIC.

No, I'm not even kidding around here. This movie was absolutely fantastic for me, and I know there are tons of people out there who hate this film. Actually every person I know who I've talked to about this film has hated it and pretty vividly hated it, but there's something about this film that draws me to it like a moth to a bright light-bulb.

I know the story doesn't make a TON of sense, but that's fine. As I'm sure I've established already, movie stories don't mean much to me since I dislike the movie medium to begin with. I feel movies are usually too short to make effective stories. That's not always true, and in general I think horror movies are the best kinds of movies because they use pacing and the shortness of the medium effectively. I also lump suspense and thriller types of movies into horror. See, those are the kinds of movies that prosper under a tight schedule. Other movies, like serious dramas or most romances or comedies (boy, do I dislike most comedic films), I feel, suffer from the shortness and the pattern of movies. It seems that every one of those films has to have the same kinds of stuff happen in them and it makes them tiresome and terrible and kind of makes me want to go insane and turn into a vampire and just go wild. I just hate most movies, all right? My point here in this review is that I don't hate this movie. In fact I kind of really like it.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Saquarry, you idiot, how can you like this horrible film and dislike, oh let's see... Ghostbusters for example?"

Well, that's easily answered. Ghostbusters is an overrated sack of cruddy garbage and should only be watched by people who have actually no appreciation over actual storytelling and character development. I feel that the whole genre of comedy is made specifically for the lowest common denominator of people. It dumbs down the whole populace and makes each and every one of us more pieces of goo obsessed with amusement than thinking human beings who are made to use our imaginations.

This is one of the reasons I tend to like older films. I feel that the minimalist approach is the best approach to anything. Use class to get points across. Assume your audience isn't a bunch of mindless zombies even if they are.

And that goes to my point. I feel that most people who dislike this film just don't take the time to see it as it is. Now, I hate sci-fi films... and sci-fi in space is almost instantly a turn-off for me. I actually dislike most sci-fi films in general unless they happen to be awesome. I really liked 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Sunshine (2007), but that's about it.

Anyway, I loved the imagery of everything. I liked the ship and the scares. I liked the deaths and Sam Neill was amazing. I mean, he was just absolutely fantastic in this film. I could watch that man's performance over and over again. he is such an underrated actor, but he's been fantastic in everything I've ever seen him in, even if I didn't particularly like the movie like Daybreakers (2009), for example.

Anyway, watching this movie with its twists and turns and real scares shows me that there are some great horror films still being made.