Book Evaluation: The Book of Eibon by Eibon (????)

I cannot take a picture of this book. I call it a book, but I do not think that is what it truly is. It is something beyond that, something that transcends that knowledge.

All I know is that I cannot take a picture of it.

I found it days ago, tucked behind one of the wheels of my car. There was not a note or any sign of acknowledgement of me. I assume that means I was given it randomly, although I can't believe that's true after all the things that have transpired. This book is something else entirely, a collection of stories, none of which seem even remotely plausible, but all of which I absolutely believe in every fiber of my being.

The accounts are insane, painting pictures too strange to be anything but lunacy. That's exactly what I thought when I read the slightly faded, but still legible text, mostly in English, although an older English than what we speak now, with some Latin sections thrown in. It is not a traditional book with cover page and a title. While the cover says "THE BOOK OF EIBON" the first page inside puts that title into Latin: Liber Ivonis.

The stories involve a wizard, the titular Eibon, going on various adventures across the stars, and speaking the truths that we have so far refused to accept. The Vale of Pnath is covered in detail, as are the horrors found within. I read about the terrible dread worms, dholes, that seek pathways through the vale, often eating each other and themselves. They would like to feast on the dead more than anything else, but few venture to that place anymore. Who knows where the Vale of Pnath even is?

I do.

There are maps.

There are also night-gaunts there. I saw a rough drawing of one.

I will never sleep again. Closing my eyes, I can see their faceless faces, their utter silence, and their unending pursuit. They know.

They know.

Shaggai. I don't even want to speak of that planet or its insect race. It is simply too terrible and alien to think about. I would rather dwell on other things than ever read that passage again.

The old ones. I cannot speak of them. And yet, in here, it says how to kill one. How to kill an old one. it is like killing a god. And in killing a god, one must also kill the universe. I can't read it again. I mustn't. Thoughts swirl around in my head, and the book dropped out of my hands, forever gone.

But I', being stalked now, stalked and searched by things that know I've read the forbidden texts. They are not forbidden because they simply should not be read. They are forbidden because there are things in this world that the human mind should never be able to comprehend, things in this world that are too dangerous, evil, or insane for the human mind to take into itself.

They ideas, these words, these very thoughts, they can change you. Not in a figurative sense but rather in a very literal way. I have started to grow large black wings. The alchemical knowledge I have gained scares me. My eyes grow dim. The light hurts my eyes. Even typing this now is more pain than I can easily handle. I move silently, and my mind is now always on something far away. A vale, perhaps, one that is empty besides those who also know. I should seek it out perhaps. I know where it is now.

The book may be gone. But I have gained so much from it... even though it has changed me in the process. My body and mind are different. I wonder, vaguely, what Eibon was.

But I cannot dwell on such things now. There are important things to do before everything is made ready. Oh, Tsathoggua, just wait. Soon there shall be an awakening like you have never known before.

Only a little bit longer.

And then...

Movie Appraisal: Cronos (1993)

Cronos, the Guillermo del Toro movie, is beautiful and different from anything else I've ever seen. That DVD cover poster right above these words is no indicative of the film itself either, mostly because that right there never actually happens in the movie.


I like del Toro's movies as a rule. I can't think of a single movie of his that I haven't liked. This one was no different. To me it's much better than Pan's Labyrinth, although not quite as good as The Devil's Backbone, which is his best work that I've seen, and I've seen all of his stuff besides Mimic. Cronos is a beautiful take on the vampire genre, making it into something different, alchemical rather than natural or based in evil. The whole movie is a retelling or re-imagining of vampires and how they might work in real life.


The story is actually quite good, starring Federico Luppi as Jesús Gris, an antique dealer who finds a hollow angel statue in his shop that had something strange hidden inside of it. This strange thing, called Cronos, is a device with an insect implanted within it that basically gives the user eternal life and a younger quality to their features.It also gives them an unnatural bloodlust. Vampire film! YES!


A very young Ron Perlman plays the nephew of a dying business man, Claudio Brook, and although his performance is campy and ridiculous, he plays the part so well that it's hard not to like him. He and Claudio Brook play the de la Guardias, who are looking for Cronos so that the elder de la Guardia will not die from his debilitating diseases.


This all comes down to an ultimate and beautifully done conclusion, that is both gruesome and amazing to watch. Absolutely sublime really when it comes down to it.


Cronos was a fantastic film. I really enjoyed it. I can't really think of a better vampire film off the top of my head.  I will say that the English speakers (all two of them) were not as great at acting as the Spanish speakers, but I enjoyed watching both of them regardless of their non-Shakespearean acting skills. 


I thought the music choice in some of it was pretty odd, and some of the stuff going on seemed a little convenient at times, but the story on the whole was really very good. I liked it for being an origin story of vampires, and I thought some of the grittier (or bloodier) scenes were absolutely fantastic. They were lovely to watch as well as being horrifying.

The Devil's Backbone is better in my own mind. Cronos didn't quite reach that level for me, but it was better than Pan's Labyrinth to me, not much better, but better. I think it was because the structure of the story was more coherent and less kind of meaningless. One of the reasons Pan's Labyrinth isn't one of my favorite films is because of the fantasy parts which I feel are pretty much useless and don't fit. I feel like this film fit together much better even if the acting was worse in every scene.


This movie is also very 1990s. It basically reminded me of other great 1990s horror films like... um... Jacob's Ladder for example. The cinematography was remarkably similar in some areas. The horror tropes found within the movie itself are beautifully done, a mix of old vampires myths and stories, and its own new kind of scientific vampire approach. A lot of the horror comes off as a bit campy though, and a little over the top at other times, but I don't think that the bloody or gory scenes were meant to scare. I think the scenes of Gris drinking blood are probably the most gutwrenching and terrifying, because you are seeing what he is becoming and you get the idea that a man can become a vampire without selling his soul, but to survive as a vampire, to have the eternal life of a vampire, the soul must be sold. Drinking human blood tends to make one a monster, and it's absolutely fascinating to watch as Gris makes his ultimate decision.


Anyway, this movie is ridiculously good and needs to be both watched and enjoyed by the masses. I can see why it may not be as well known as other del Toro movie, but this one is really well done and needs to be seen. It's very well done.