Here's Something to Read

Okay, I've probably been making more or less sense in most of my posts (even though many of my posts were made early in the summer), but here is something that is going to sound crazy. I'm going to rant on a few items and see what happens. I have no idea how many people are ever going to read this blog-thing, but I still want to rant like a crazy child that just inhaled a bunch of cocaine.

All right. Let's see what I can do here. First thing first I'm going to go back to my old formula of doing a review a week or whenever I have a chance or so. This summer was a bit busier than I thought it would be and I tended to have very little time for actual fun-styled writing. Now that I'm in college again I can get down to writing these crazy little reviews of crazy things.

I have some bigger reviews planned, mostly in the forms of books and video games, but I'll probably do some movie reviews if I get the chance and have time to see some movies. I just saw Castle on the Hudson with John Garfield and was thinking about reviewing that one. As for books, once I finish Abarat by Clive Barker I'll give a review of that. Also I have some other books planned including the Dune books, the Star Wars X-Wing series, and possibly some of my more favorite books of Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, and others. As for video games, I'm currently playing a bunch of different ones (albeit very slowly) including Mass Effect 2 on Insane mode, Kingdom Hearts, a nice little hack-and-slash number, my first Japanese RPG, Final Fantasy VII, and Dragon Age: Origins, which I'll probably be giving another, more in depth, review for in coming months. Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy VII are actually being played by my girlfriend with myself watching, although I may play a bit of them myself. I'm probably going to start Silent Hill 2, one of my favorite games, pretty soon as well.

As for other reviews, I might have some others lined up, but I'm keeping quiet about it right now.

Expect some kind of analysis about once a week or so from now on... maybe more and maybe less, but around that. I'll probably focus a bit on some of the stuff I didn't mention at first.

So, it should all be very fun and not about pangolins at all.

Animal Contemplation: Pangolin

So, now I've gone off the deep end with my analyses and have chosen to analyze a very strange animal by the name of Pangolin with the categorization of Animalia Chordata Mammalia Pholidota Manidae Manis tetradactyla... commonly referred to as the "Long-Tailed Pangolin".

Now, you may be asking yourself: "What is wrong with Saquarry? Has he gone mad or something? I thought he reviewed legitimate stuff." Well, of course I review legitimate "stuff"... but all stuff is legitimate, is it not? And pangolins are a type of stuff, are they not? So, giving a review of a pangolin is in many ways just as legitimate as giving a review of a crappy movie or a good video game.

Pangolins are an odd species... kind of like a cross between an anteater and an armadillo, except instead of armadillo armor, they have plates... almost like some kind of plate-mail. Incidentally there is plate-mail made from Pangolin armor. You don't believe me? Check this out: Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, the pangolin is such a neat animal. It happens to be one of my favorite animals just for its sheer oddity. I mean, how many other animals looks as cool as a pangolin? I mean just look at this cute little guy: Tell me you wouldn't want to take him home. That's right. You can't say it because you'd be lying. Pangolins are awesome and now you know it.

Sure, this review might seem a tad silly to those less cultured and not as cool as I or the pangolins are, but to those that appreciate the fine art of the graceful and wondrous pangolin, your hearts will be open to their mighty nature and awesome form... and you won't die in the pangolin apocalypse which, you should know, is just around the corner.

I want to name a band "Pangolin Apocalypse" now.

EDIT: Well, since this page has become incredibly popular despite being nothing more than a filler review and a bit of a joke, I will provide actual information beyond naming my band "Pangolin Apocalypse" even if that is the coolest thing in the entire world ever.

So, let's start with some scientific stuff: Pangolins are also known as scaly anteaters or Trenggilings (I have no idea what that word actually means, but it exists as a name to this strange creature. The name, pangolin, which we usually use to name this creature is a bastardization of the Malay word penggulling meaning "something that rolls up." Pangolins are also nocturnal creatures and insectivores, well, kind of obviously with the anteater reference in one of their names.

Their taxology is hard to place on any chart. Some scientists place them alongside of armadillos, anteaters, and sloths, but their DNA suggests a closer relationship with the order Carnivora, although even that is suspect. These animals also can emit a stink like that of a skunk, which makes them even stranger. How did they animals come to pass!?

The Pangolin Apocalypse, that's how.