Movie Appraisal: Dead Air (2009)

"People get the government they deserve, so fuck your people."

Dead Air is yet another radiohost-centered zombie film. It shares a few similarities with Pontypool, but for the most part the movies are completely different, with both different styles and different feels. While Pontypool is an incredibly good movie with a few small issues, Dead Air is rougher all the way around. It is the worse movie of the two, so before you choose which of these two movies you should watch (It should be Pontypool.) realize that this is just not as good of a movie.

That being said, it's not a bad movie either. Most of the movie is both suspenseful and tense, although there is very little horror here. Hell, barely any gore either. You did get the barest bit of nudity with a single bare breast showing before and after a woman gets turned into a zombie, but it easily done much more for the art than to be a sexual thing. And that's fine, but it seems both out of place and a little odd. But I digress.

As much as I'd like to call this a zombie horror film, it really isn't. It's very much a zombie thriller, something I've never really seen before. The horror is so downplayed and kind of pushed aside that it never really feels all that scary. The scariest element in the movie is the human element, and that really leads me into saying it's much more of a thriller than a horror film.

There's also a ton of stock footage in this movie and... well, I rolled my eyes a ton. I hate stock footage in films, and seeing both basketball and riot stock footage basically made me have a dislike for the movie from the get go. I didn't dislike this movie after it was over though. Rather I found it somewhat effective, often kind of amusing, and generally fun to watch. It does have its problems, but for the most part it is a fun zombie flick to watch, even if it isn't even close to the best around. Corbin Bernsen (I know him as the father on Psych, so maybe you will too.) directs an all around competent horror film. If Pontypool hadn't come out around the same time and been all around better I might be giving this film a better pass, but... I guess that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

So, there's a Bible quotation in the beginning: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." -Matthew 6:34. How do I take this? What does it even mean? Well, as a knowledgeable person about Biblical and theological STUFF, I'll tell you. It's talking about anxiety, and the idea that anxiety should be saved for the things that are happening now rather than things that could or might happen. Jesus says it so it must be true.

I kid, but seriously, it's a pretty decent passage to use when talking about terrorism or stuff, but does not really work for the message in the movie, unless the message is don't worry about anything and US government, dudes, you really shouldn't make zombie biological weapons that can be hijacked by Iranian terrorists so easily. I guess that's a pretty valid message though, isn't it?

Moving on, although I did find large chucks of the dialogue in the movie pretty snappy and fun to listen to, I found the actors not very good in general. I mean, Bill Moseley is the best actor there (playing the main character Logan), but even he seems to have a pretty big problem acting effectively. It seems that everybody has the same kind of acting issues, overacting or being more comedic than serious... and it comes off very strangely, kind of like the movie is more comedy than it is serious, which I don't think is the intention. The acting can be pretty hard to watch at times and it's the BIG THING that Pontypool shines in over Dead Air. I have to believe it had to do with the direction rather than every actor suddenly having a ton of issues, but I have no idea. All I know is that it is really odd and takes one right out of the movie. Again, the dialogue is actually pretty good though despite the acting. The cat food discussion in the beginning is comedy genius, and much of the dialogue is quick-paced and enjoyable. I just wish better actors or more effective actors had those lines since mostly they come off as a tad forced. There is stuttering as well and I wonder how much of the dialogue was on and off script. It would be an interesting thing to be able to figure out.

The movie is very tense though. Engaging even for the most part. But then there are these odd moments of comedy sprinkled in, like Logan's ex-wife and producer Lucy (played by Patricia Tallman) putting a small plant up as part of a barricade against a door that opens outward. At least Logan had the same response, word-for-word as I did while I talked to my screen.

I think I was expecting the film to be smarter or more intelligent than it actually ended up being. I was wondering if the zombies were blind because their eyes were bleeding. I was wondering if that would come into play. It didn't. I was expecting some character development, some kind of hero or something to emerge... but it never happened. I was expecting a big fight or some great jump-scare cheesy ending... but no,cit was cheesy and dumb in another way entirely. I mean I though Logan's cough was setting up his change into a zombie, but he never does. I figured Gabbi would murder him in zombie form... or his daughter would... but no, they aren't zombies and Gabbi seems immune for some reason. I just want to sigh and keep sighing at the sappy, overly dramatic ending to a horror movie where no horror really ever happens.

The funny thing is that the movie never disappointed me. It was baffling at times, but came off as a pretty usual and standard horror affair for the most part. I didn't like certain parts of the film, but the suspense was good and the tension worked quite well through the first three-fourths of the movie. Not so well after that though. Then it became awfully ridiculous, but it was good for a little while despite the acting.

The political message here is obvious, and obviously one of my least favorite parts. It's about terrorism, but not really, about the US being terrible, but not really. It has a soft political message that never really says anything and goes around and around itself and I find it kind of dumb and offensive. Why didn't labs notice that a bunch of their created zombie virus had gone missing? I think it was kind of dumb with some inconsistencies, but that's probably me thinking too hard.

I don't really feel the need to recommend this film. Watch Pontypool instead. They are very similar films but Pontypool does everything better. The acting is better. You can relate with the characters. The plot means something more than blanketed political messages. The radio program is much more enjoyable to listen to. It's a much more artistic film. And it has a great deal more gore and fun to it. So, yeah, I won't say to avoid this one at all costs. It's not bad, but I can't really recommend it without saying it's a worse version of Pontypool, and that's not much of a compliment.

Movie Appraisal: Dagon (2001)

H. P. Lovecraft stories have had quite a few problems over the years. They are known for having racial overtones, strange gods, emotionless writing, and are carefully crafted cosmic horror stories. There are good things and bad things to every single one of H. P. Lovecraft's stories or novellas and the pros and cons come out the best in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth". You may be asking why I'm talking about that story and not "Dagon". I am because this film is actually based upon "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" instead of "Dagon".

"The Shadow Over Innsmouth" is one of H. P. Lovecraft's best known and most terrifying novels, mixing the unknown with genuine fear and adrenaline pumping horror. It involves the fleeing sort of horror, running from destiny, from death, and from an awful town full of strange folk. The racially charged overtones can be seen everywhere in it, as well as the ideas of strange religions and folk unlike ourselves.

I personally like Lovecraft and the types of stories he wrote. They come off as genuine even if the writing is not perfect or crazy emotional like most horror is today. He wrote the strange as if they were normal. Insanity was simply a side-effect of seeing something incomprehensible and suicide an easy out for the insane. The gods were deadly, evil things, and there was a rhythm to the stories and the plots. The characters were cookie-cut out of the same mold, but the situations were wholly new and beautifully done.

That being said, Dagon is... in a word... a mess. I'm not certain it knows what it wants to be or even should be. It'snot a horror movie, not really, although it has enough gore to suffice on that mark. But the out of place comedy does not work for horror or... well... really anything. I have found again and again that Lovecraftian stories, except by John Carpenter, tend to be overdone or cheesy, hardly worth the time or effort. This movie is no different. It feels hammy in all the wrong ways, but seems to want to be taken seriously, which I simply cannot do. The gore tells me that this movie does take itself seriously. The make-up effects are good for this kind of movie, and without the dialogue, characters, or sounds, this movie could have been wonderful, but ham and cheese acting, characters without any obvious motivations, and a plot that seems to convoluted to be fun to watch, this movie is an all around mess.

I can't say that I hate this movie. I just can't say that. I'm fond enough of Lovecraft and the story that I don't hate it, but I won't ever watch it again. I can't recommend it because it really is just that bad. Some scenes are better than others, but none are really all that good. None of the actors, except possibly the Spanish actors, are really good enough to pull this one off, and it comes as a disappointment. It could have been better, but ended up very hard to watch, with set-pieces instead of actual plot, and no characters to relate to.

Avoid this one. the stories are better and much more worth your time. Hell, even the video game Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth is better and should be played over watching this.

This brings me to my last point: Why are Lovecraft films so unfilmable? I don't get it. They should be easy to make, but no... they are all universally terrible. It saddens me. I guess I'll stick with John Carpenter for my Lovecraftian fix. Into the Mouth of Madness and The Thing are genuinely amazing movies. Watch those instead of this ambitious failure.

Video Game Assessment Revisit: Dragon Age: Origins (2009)

I have already reviewed this video game some time ago (It was my first review here.), but I thought that my review of the game basically sucked and I had not really come into my own as a reviewer with some kind of insane personality that I wanted so much. Well, continuing my apparent bunch of reviews about BioWare games, I am going to review Dragon Age: Origins as well as its expansion pack, Dragon Age: Origins- Awakening and all of the DLC leading up to the second game which I reviewed not too long ago.

So, this game's story is pretty simplistic, very fantasy RPG-ish. Almost every other fantasy story has a similar plot as this game. Well, really this game has two plots... both of which are very indicative of the fantasy genre of RPG. The first is dealing with an usurping "king" and putting the rightful ruler on the throne. The second is dealing with orc-like enemies led by a dragon and defeating this inhuman Blight.

The story frankly is regular and normal fantasy, which sounds like an oxymoron, but there you go.

So, the game has elves and dwarves and orcs (called darkspawn) and ogres and these things called Qunari and obviously humans. And humans are also obviously the greasiest and worst of the peoples, constantly being bad guys and being racist and such. It's pretty terrible. Why are humans always so bad? I know a lotof humans I... well, I know some humans that aren't so... okay, I know like three people I don't think would kill me in my sleep. That means that there are some good people. In this game, humans just seem so selfish and cruel and it's a pity. There are a few good ones, but almost all of them are either in your party or friends of the party characters.

Now, your companion characters are where this game really shines. You have the snarky Templar, Alistair, the snarky dark mage girl, Morrigan, the snarky old mentor mage, Wynne, the snarky elf assassin, Zevran, the snarky and ofttimes drunk dwarf, Oghren, the snarky stoic Qunari, Sten, and the bard Leliana... and your snarky dog for good measure. If snarky is mentioned in most of those characterizations, then yeah... snarky is what most of the characters in the game are. I have never seen such a collection of snarky people in my life. All they do is snark and become cynical and snark some more and become sarcastic or sardonic and... yeah... it's fine for a little while, but why is every character so snarky? Did I walk into s snarky convention while playing this video game? Seriously. And the only character who isn't snarky is the creepy female bard with the terrible voice who watches your character when he/she sleeps. It's creepy and weird and she's awkward and... why does every character have such emotional hangups? Why am I their babysitter/therapist? Why can't they help me out? Maybe my character is feeling a little down what with all the people TRYING TO MURDER ME... Maybe, just maybe, I don't want to her Alistair whine about how he's alone in the world when in my origin story, MY ENTIRE FAMILY WAS KILLED. Seriously, Alistair, I like you, dude, but you just have to stop whining constantly. And Morrigan, stop being overtly evil. Now is not the time when I'm trying to romance you or kill a GREAT EVIL. Can't you just for one second think about being a good person? Seriously.

I could go on and on about these characters, but I think you get the... DOG, NO! DO NOT RELEASE YOUR BLADDER ON THAT UNSUSPECTING CHILD!!!

Uh.... anyway...

The music of this game is fantastic. It really is. It sounds like a lot of music from The Lord of the Rings and I'm basically in love with LotR so there's that. The gameplay is annoying at times and the difficulty is impossible. Even easy enemies are insane to take down on NORMAL difficulty. It's almost as if the difficulty is actually broken. It sucks. I will admit there is satisfaction, a ton of it in fact, for killing big enemies though. There is nothing sweeter than a well-fought battle with an ogre or a dragon or something and plunging the warm, blood-soaked steel of a sword into its blasted throat. The gore elements are pretty well done, although I do wish my character had a handkerchief to wipe his face from time to time. I hate going into a cutscene looking like I just got caught in the flood of blood from Stanley Kubrick's The Shining.

So, now going into the DLC (downloadable content) and expansion: The DLC can be anywhere from really good to really awful. The first DLC actually came with the game, The Stone Prisoner, which introduces a new companion, Shale, who is basically awesome. Shale is a golem and is about as hardcore and hilarious as can be. Shale is very reminiscent of HK-47 from the KotOR series and that just makes the character that much more awesome.

There are other DLCs within the game itself, but most only add new content and items rather than memorable story elements.

Outside the game there are, besides the expansion, four DLC packs. The first is The Darkspawn Chronicles that is a funny little alternate universe in which your player character didn't exist. You play as a Darkspawn and slaughter your entire companion team in the final Dragon Age: Origins battle. It's fun, but short, and has really nothing but combat.

The next DLC is Leliana's Song which is a prequel story for the worst character in the entire game of Dragno Age. Yeah, it's a fun little story, but it very little, if anything to the entire plot of the story. Leliana had mentioned her entire story at one point, and being a bard she wouldn't shut up about it either. I guess I don't really see the point of this DLC. It has some fun moments, but ultimately comes off as overdone and useless.

The third DLC is The Golems of Amgarrok, a very short side mission with some body horror to it. Ilove body horror. The story is interesting as is the gameplay. The only complaint I have is that it is short... and very difficult. Neither of which is a plus. I would have rather had more of this DLC than the two I mentioned previously.

The last DLC, and by far the best, is called Witch Hunt. It details a search for a witch, possibly a witch known to the player character. It's a fun and reminiscent look back at Dragon Age, really tying up loose ends of story and ending the entire story with a bang. I really like it. I think the characters in it are done well, the story is strong, and it ends Dragon Age: Origins in the way it should be ended.

Now I'll move onto the expansion pack, Dragon Age: Origins- Awakening. So, this is basically a new set piece around a third of the length of the actual game. It has new character as well as some old ones, and a new area to explore. It's fairly well done in terms of story and visuals, but falls flat for other reasons. The dialogue system was changed from the one I love so much that reminded me of the KotOR series, where you can just talk to any companion at any time, to  a system of only being able to talk with them when they have something to say. Kind of silly if you ask me. It's a change I don't like and it's a change that stayed around for Dragon Age II, much to my chagrin, although it's done much better there than it is here. Awakening has some great areas within it and has some of my favorite fights within all of Origins. Blackmarsh and everything that happens there is particularly memorable, as is the Architect and what he represents, and the Deep Roads of Kal Hirol, which are so different and much more awesome than the Deep Roads in Orgins. Everything here seems to try improving Origins, and with the exception of dialogue, it seems to. Characters are still a strong element of the game, and Awakening doesn't disappoint with that, having some of the more memorable characters in the series, like Nathaniel, Anders, Velanna (even though a lot of people hate her, I like that crazy elven witch), Sigrun, and Justice. Mother is insane and a pleasure to watch, really bringing body horror to the forefront, which is something I think needs to constantly be brought to the forefront... then again I'm a big Cronenberg fan...

Anyway, the Origins game as a whole is amazing and worth revisiting here. There's so much to it I don't think I could ever go through all of it, but I'm going to damn well try. I like the game a lot. It's great for any fantasy buff, or even anybody who really liked LotR. Check it out, but remember the combat sucks if you're not on a computer, and the Xbox 360 version (which I have) looks like crap.

So, be mindful of those things and have fun.