Short Horror Movie Appraisals

For this Halloween, I have a special gift for all of you. I went and saw a bunch of shorter horror movies, some very readily available and some much harder to find. Some of these movies I've seen before and always wanted to review. Others are going to be my first impressions. I've always liked the short format for movies, and I think it works particularly well with horror movies. You get to the horror, and then you get out. It works well in short stories, so why can't it work well here? None of these movies have anything else tying them together except their short nature. So, without further ado...


Our first movie is Disciples of the Crow from 1983, which is an adaptation of Stephen King's "Children of the Corn" short story in his Night Shift collection. It is also known as The Night of the Crow. This movie, directed by John Woodward, is a very solid and fast-paced adaptation. It brings its A-game in suspense and leaves you wanting more. The whole religious angle, especially that focus on the extremism of children, makes the whole thing have a very solid message, even if it's a message I won't go into on here. The focus on both corn and crows is apt and interesting. The brutal deaths are well shot and creepy. And the filming in general is something interesting at the very least. The biggest complaint that I have is that the audio isn't the best and the story is disjointed at times, over before it really has a chance to begin.

The second short is called The French Doors, a New Zealand film from 2002. Although having only a single actor for most of the film and virtually no dialogue, this is one of the best short horror films I've ever seen. It involves a man renovating his home, installing some French doors in, only to discover that in the morning the French doors seem to lead to the dark of night while the sun is in reality shining. He decides to explore it. And it doesn't go well. I don't want to spoil this one, although as an analysis of the movie, I will. So, avoid the next paragraph if you'd rather watch it.

There is something in the dark, waiting for him. While the doors are open, and he's exploring outside, the thing, the shadowy creature, comes into his house and waits. It is brilliantly handled, with first our main character seeing a person inside the house while he's out in the dark. But when he finally goes back in the house, the person is in shadow, a dark thing, and it isn't happy with him. I saw a few asking what the "thing" was, and my only response is that it is a thing from the dark. Simple as that. It's a monster creature of shadow that emerged from the dark world beyond the French doors.

This is a supremely creepy short, and watching it at night is recommended for the full scare effect.

Username: 666 is basically a creepypasta, but it's still a short and is still incredibly creepy if you can put yourself in the right mindset. Brought to us by nana825763, it's a short video about a creepy way to use the YouTube website. With some creepy accompanying music, it works quite well at doing something both very different (certainly true for the time it was released) and very spooky.It's a simple premise of finding a suspended account with some disturbing videos on it, but what happens when YouTube doesn't want you to leave? It's a great little premise and works really well. It's another one I would say to watch at night for full effect.

Another YouTube also made by the same person is a good companion piece to Username: 666. They both take a chance at grabbing the immense creepiness the internet holds, and the worlds within worlds that can be stored there, hidden away until somebody tries something...

Proxy: A Slender Man Story gives yet another take on the Slender Man mythos story directed, this time, by Mike Dahlquist in 2012. It's well shot and obviously heavily produced being on the YouTube BlackBoxTV channel with a bunch of other horror shorts. This short had been on my radar for some time since I like the whole Slender Man thing. The film is okay, with moments of psychological horror spliced into it. There is some gore as well. The biggest problem with this one is that, while well shot and with more dialogue than the other movies I featured so far combined, this one just doesn't hit that frightening spot I wished it would. While Slender Man's shadowy tentacles reaching for the main character is pretty cool, I wouldn't say I was scared at all. The point of Slender Man, in my opinion, is to show as little of him as possible and to concentrate more on a rapid decline into madness. The Marble Hornets crew, I believe, does it the absolute best. I could be biased for them though. I've met them before, talked with them, and find their videos to be the most compelling of the Slender Man mythos. Proxy is perfectly fine if you just want to eat up everything Slender Man though, but don't expect it to be the very best in horror.

Eddie Adamson's Victim, another Slender Man movie from 2013, is also very well shot. It has another very simple premise though, but this time to the film's detriment. While certain movies on this list are helped by having very short plots and a fast-pace, I really feel that this movie, like Proxy, suffers from both its pace and its reliance on its audience's foreknowledge of Slender Man. These movies need a longer build-up, a chase to find Slender Man, not being chased by Slender Man. I liked aspects of the film, specifically the way it was shot. It would have meant more to me if I could have gotten to know the main character rather than just being forced to watch him being antagonized by Slender Man. It's one of those thing where I think the long format of many short episodes works the best, again like what the Marble Hornets crew does.

I really need to stop talking about them and actually review their stuff one of these days...

The Lovecraft Syndrome is a 2013 short directed by David Schmidt. It's an odd one for me to talk about. i get the feeling that most might not like its methodical pace or somewhat trivial ending. But I, for one, found the whole thing somewhat compelling. While it's not a bombastic story and the acting is somewhat lackluster at times, I really found the visuals quite engaging even if the film itself looks like a much older film than it actually is. I liked it more than I thought I would, with the visuals of tentacles and such being the real draw for me. While not really scary, the psychological elements are also well done.

The story here is about a woman who delves too deeply into Lovecraft after a collection of tragedies befalls her. Her descent into madness or comatose response to the stimuli presented in her mind hearkens to the Lovecraftian protagonists, always being so nervous, so easily stricken down by what they've seen. I liked it in that regard as well. It's a solid short, but I get the feeling it won't blow too many people away.

Mannequin directed by Deric Nunez for 2013 is one of those short films that has a great premise, decent filming, and good acting, but never becomes memorable despite those things. Part of the problem is that the movie is shot strangely to me, not directly like a horror movie. And for some reason, despite the jump kind of scares it has, and the slow lingering fear it wants you to feel, it never has the punch that it easily could have. The end of the short is funny too- not scary- and that doesn't help much.

The premise is that a woman is going to take her trash out. She sees a mannequin just chilling near the dumpster. Then, after she leaves, the mannequin moves or is moved. Then all hell breaks loose, ending with blood dripping out of a peephole... for some reason. The best shot in the whole movie is the last second as the door opens.

While mentioning this film, I'll also mention Deric Nunez's earlier Knock from 2011, which I also found had issues, but was all right in it's own way. I probably enjoyed that short more than this one, but I also have a lot less to talk about in that one, besides the paranoia one feels at noises in a house when one is alone.

Mockingbird directed by Marichelle Daywalt in 2008. Just watch it.

Ninja Clown Monster, also 2008, directed by Drew Daywalt, is another great little horror short I've known about for a good long while. Both of these shorts are from Fewdio, which also houses a lot of other really good and effective short horror films. Films like Bedfellows (2008), again by Drew Daywalt, which is exactly what I want in a short horror film. It's clear, effective, creepy, and the story and acting are solid. I seriously couldn't ask for more.

Then we have Katasumi and 4444444444 from 1998, both directed by Takashi Shimizu, you know, the guy who directed Marebito and Rinne. Katasumi (also known as In a Corner) is incredibly odd, involving a dead girl, a ghost(?), and some iconic clicking noise that would become very well known after Shimizu's Grudge was released. The other movie is actually a phone number: (444)-444-4444. This takes a little explaining if you don't already know. The Japanese word for the number four is almost exactly like their word for death, so they are superstitious in Japan about the number four like English speakers are about the number thirteen. They omit floor number four in some buildings just as we omit floor thirteen. Anyway, this short is much funnier than scary, involving a phone ringing, a young man picking it up, and meowing ensuing. Both shorts are incredibly well put together, feeling like much longer movies in their own right despite only being a couple minutes apiece.

For the last short I'll review here, as well as the last one I'll talk about this October, here is So Dark from 2013. Directed by Al Lougher, here is the tale of a modern vampire. This short comes directly from an internet anthology series. Incredibly well directed, well acted, and well shot, this film is a solid entry into any vampire film discussion. While never exactly scary, it does leave your mind asking many questions and seeking many answers. It also makes me wish for more really good vampire movies or shows. I love Angel, the TV series by Joss Whedon, and this is a grittier and, honestly, less sugary version of that. While I like Angel a great deal, that show had one big problem: it never hit a horror high point. I don't even know if I could consider it horror at all despite the vampires. It came off to me as an emotional ride of a drama series that happened to have a vampire or two and some silly demons in it.

So Dark is what a vampire series (and I do mean series here, not short or movie) should be like. The grittiness, the grime, and the darkness of both man and beast is showcased here. It's one thing I certainly like about modern cinema, modern shows, and modern everything. There isn't that reluctance to hide the grime of society anymore. Blood, gore, dirt, and tears are all on display. And while many movies tend to either go too far or not know how to handle that kind of freedom, some pieces of fiction absolutely thrive. So Dark certainly thrives to me.

And the short to which So Dark serves as a sequel, So Pretty (2012), is also quite good. It feels like somebody's response to the love of Twilight and the sparkly and pretty vampires from that book, movie, and franchise. It directly speaks about the amount of vampire fiction out there today, and how it seems like everybody either wants to date or be a vampire despite the fact that historically vampires have been cursed monsters, feared by most, not a pretty little doll that looks cool and loves well. This short focuses on the animal nature of vampires and how they look and act when they've killed. These two shorts were incredible, although again, the horror is light. It seems to be more focused on the production than the actual horror, which is a bit of a shame, but not that much of one.


Anyway, that's another October and another Halloween down for this little series. I'll probably revisit some short horror in the future because there are a ton of things I've missed that I'd love to talk about. I, more or less, recommend the short horror genre for consumption unless they're Slender Man videos or stuff of the popular ilk. I really love The French Doors, which was my main impetus to actually doing this review. I saw it for the first time years ago and always wanted to talk about it a bit more and get the word out there that it exists. So Pretty and So Dark were pleasant surprises and I really hope more things like that can exist in this world of ours.

I'd like to thank everybody who took the ride with me this October. It's been a blast. I'm looking forward to next October already. Even though these reviews are a drain and a half, I love doing them so much. In the coming months I'm seriously going to try to get some reviews out, hopefully a couple (at the very least) each month. My R. L. Stine reviews are going to keep trucking along during the late fall and winter, and I should have a ton of new movies to keep me occupied for quite some time. I also should mention that this October Nights, I also took the plunge of engagement with my long-time girlfriend. So, there's that as well. Again, this October has been amazing. Check out my Tumblr for updates and the like. I've posted there kind of irregularly up until now, but I'm going to post much more often now that I want to talk about horror and the like on every conceivable level.

See you all soon!

Edit: Oh, I have one more video I was told I have to talk about by my fiancee. She sent it to me and likes it a lot, so I kind of feel it's a bit necessary to talk about it at least a little. I won't have any pictures or it or whatnot, just a link, which you can find here.

Cargo from 2013, directed by Ben Howling and Yolanda Ramke, is a fascinating take on the zombie. I generally don't like zombies, which is why I never review any movies with zombies in them. But this short film is actually done quite well, pushing a smart premise together with overdone cliched zombies to make something very unique.

It's the story of a father who gets into some kind of accident before the short begins. His wife is dead, but strapped to the seat belt of the car. He is bitten and sets about thinking of a brilliant and sad plan to save his infant baby child. It's very effective in the way it's shot, creating a good sense of both mood and atmosphere. I loved the plan he had, and the highlight of my first watching of the movie was actually figuring out what he had planned. It was a satisfying, if very sad, ending. I don't want to spoil too much. Check it out if you haven't already. Again, this is a serious recommendation from my fiancee, who literally told me I had to talk about this one or else she'd beat me.



(I'm kidding about that by the way. But she as a non-horror fan liked it, and me as a non-zombie fan also liked it.)

Emotion Critique: Fear

What is fear?

It is the unknown, the unknowable. It is death, pain, suffering. It is that paranoid feeling you get when you stay up a little too late with no one else around. It is the darkness, the deep of the ocean, the depths of space. It is an abandoned mental institution... closed for years, full of the souls of those who died there. It's a nightmare you cannot awaken from. It's the nighttime, a little bridge in the starless sky. It's a hurricane hitting your home. It's what you feel when the one you love decides they want to leave you or when you start suspecting they're cheating on you. It's what everybody feels sometimes. Fear is one of the main themes that I've explored while I've written this blog. I love fear as much as I love the horror genre. I like the ability to become afraid of certain types of movies or video games, books or real life stories. I have my favorites and my least favorites and, of course, some are much better than others. But mostly I love finding myself afraid. I love the tension, the rising and falling of the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck. I love wondering if there's something there just out of sight watching me. Waiting for the right moment...

...to strike.

I think the unknown is one of the most intensely scary things I can think of or... uh... rather not think of, right? Books like House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski bring out the idea of what true fear really is, mostly through blending reality and fiction into some terrible amalgamation of the two. There is something about taking this kind of paranoid fiction and blending it with an all too real reality that makes everything that much more terrifying. There is a paranoia there, a feeling that makes one feel ever so lost within the crazy ideas presented. I find this blend of reality and fiction much more terrifying than anything that is purely fictional. Being able to wonder if scary things that are unexplained can happen in the real world is something that is all too terrifying. It is the only scary thought that will keep me up. And that is a great deal of what House of Leaves is.

"To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don't let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can't see it, something is quietly closing in on you, so quiet in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That's where it is. Right at this moment. But don't look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead, take an even deeper one. Only this time as you exhale try to imagine how fast it will happen, how hard it's gonna hit you, how many times it will stab your jugular with its teeth or are they nails?, don't worry, that particular detail doesn't matter, because before you have time to process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be flinging up your arms-you sure as hell should be getting rid of this book-you won't have time to even scream.
Don't look.
I didn't.
Of course I looked.
I looked so fucking fast I should of ended up wearing one of those neck braces for whiplash."

 Of course that's only a single quotation from House of Leaves. Think about an entire book based off of the paranoia induced by fiction bleeding into reality. I find that passage that I copied above as scary as something can be. Go ahead, read that at night when you're alone and think about what you'd think, what kind of creepiness you'd be feeling. It's intense. It's terrifying. The first time I read it, I was younger than I am now, a teenager who thought he was the master of horror. I read that and then went to take out the trash. It was late. It was dark. I thought I could hear something breathing heavily in the bushes.

I freaked out. Ran inside, and fell in love with the horror all over again. To think that a cynic like me could be scared- And scared by a book at that! A book that seemed so ridiculous in premise but perfect in execution.

I've done some crazier things besides, things that I can't spell out here lest people believe what I say. I've seen some terrifying images, breaths of air that shouldn't be following me where I have tread. I don't really believe in ghosts or true terror... or many other things, but at the same time I believe in nothing but horror, but fear, as if they are the only things that matter, the only things that drive me. I've been in places I probably shouldn't have been and heard creaking and rattling and noises that I couldn't explain even in my most cognizant moments. And there's something terrifying in knowing that right next to you RIGHT NEXT TO YOU just centimeters away in the darkest night is something staring back at you that you cannot see. Yes, there are many places that are scary on purpose- abandoned buildings, graveyards that remind us that we will die... Memento te esse mortalum... but even more than that are the places that shouldn't be scary. A water pump shaped like a well, forever spilling out water for no other reason than because it can. Or maybe a bush, a gnarled tree, a twisting and turning sky... or even something as simple as an unexplained ravine, or even a house you once lived in.

Or maybe just a simple room, like an attic...

Or a doorway long since dilapidated...

Or a simple thing. Maybe it's something we could even see anywhere...

...like a hole in a wall.

In the background I'm watching Ghost Hunters. It's a good show if you take it for what it is. If you don't believe in ghosts, that's fine. I understand. I have no opinions on them myself, but there are certainly images and videos from that show that have at least planted the seed of... hmmm, maybe this could be true. There was one episode in a lighthouse that caused me to go, "WHAT THE HECK!?" where an eerie shadowy apparition appeared on the stairs going to the top of the lighthouse then moved quickly out the frame. Creepy as hell. Again, it was something unknown happening there, something that had a confusing substance to it. It was both weird and awesome... maybe a little scary too...

And then there are the video games. Silent Hill 2 and Silent Hill 4 stick out to me as terrifying games, each in their own way. Silent Hill 2 has such a melancholic feel to it. It hits the mind in all the right ways. Yes, it's a fantastic story, but what's really great about it is taking the ordinary and making it terrifying. The apartments section is easily one of the scariest. Hell, even the town itself is creepy. It's abandoned, but isn't supposed to be. The apartments look like they were just abandoned themselves, days or even hours before... or maybe months... letting the place people once called home fall into disrepair, the memories in those apartments stuck there as if they could never leave, changing the very fabric of the walls, changing the reality of the place they once were. The nightmare feelings of the game that twist the reality of the unreality make the games, all of the Silent Hill games, even more horrifying as you play them. Silent Hill 4 might not have the nightmarish sections of the second game, but the feeling of no control is certainly one that makes you feel odd. Unbeatable ghost enemies, running from a psycho, and twisted lengthened areas of such mundane places like an apartment building, a subway station, and much more add to the level of terror. And of course how could I forget Silent Hill: Downpour, which builds the tension up so slowly that you barely notice it? Walking into a movie theatre on a whim and finding yourself in a forgotten house... or walking through a theatre and finding yourself in a forest and a small house, all the while it's pouring outside, and you have no way to go but forward. It's all well done, all scary, all terrifying, and all needed.

But I don't think any of that properly explains the state, the emotion, the feeling... of fear. Look, go outside, alone, in the dark, and think of something else out there, watching your every move, not a person because people are only scary when they're trying to kill you or when they're yelling, I suppose. Ideas can be scary. Thoughts and dreams an be full of terror. Music can scare you, as can books, movies, video games, or people. Fear is an emotion of the lack of control, the lack of knowing.

Think about something totally inhuman watching you in the dead of night, in the darkness of early morning.. well, anytime at all. One thing that used to scare the hell out of me was Bigfoot staring at me through my second story window in the dead of night when nobody but myself would be awake to see him staring. I know... I know it can't happen (because Bigfoot is probably not real... and also he is not as tall as my second story window if he is real), but it scared the hell out of me at the tie, enough for me to want to have the curtains drawn across my windows for years... just so I wouldn't see that face staring back at me. Heh, it stills gives me a bit of a chill even now. Dead animals buried in the back yard were creepy too, especially if you're wondering if they'll come back to life and haunt you... or something. I don't know. I was stupid when I was afraid of these things, but that doesn't mean it didn't make sense to my mind back then.

Also freaking cellars, especially an old one with a dirt floor like I have... and I have to go down and do laundry late at night sometimes... I expect Slender Man or a homeless drunken man to come out of the darkness while I'm washing my pants and murder me. Wonderful thought to be having in my own house, huh? Nobody likes cellars though... or attics for that matter. Creepy old places nobody ever goes. Never feels lived in or anything. Just feels all empty, all forgotten...

Oh, and I'm also... uh... slightly... only very slightly... afraid of gnomes too.

Creepy bastards.

I guess there are other things to fear, but I think I'm talking about the genre of fear in regards to the unknown. Ah, this might be a bit silly in the end, but it's my last review for October Nights, and I felt like writing something appropriate to end it on what you might think of as a high note.

(So, just as a note, the artsy looking pictures you see of abandoned places and such in this review? Well, my girlfriend took those pictures (which comprise of most of the pictures in this review). She likes taking photographs of old or abandoned things almost as much as I love looking at them and creeping myself out. Her photo blog can be found here. Seriously check it out if you find her photos interesting. I'm sure she'd appreciate it. And since I'm incredibly proud of her photo work, I'd appreciate you looking at her photos too. You could also just leave a comment here about them if you'd like as well though. I'll be sure to pass along any messages to her if you decide on that. Thanks for reading and looking at my blog and this review! If you haven't checked out my other reviews and such you really should! You might find something really obscure or really cool on this blog! Anyway, another Halloween has come and gone! See you for October Nights next year (with a ton of reviews in between too... but that's besides the point)!)

Internet Idea Analysis: Creepy Pasta

Creepy pasta, an internet phenomenon that's been occurring the last few years, also happens to be one of my favorite random interests on the internet. They're no meme that will be run into the ground, nor are they idiotic screaming children/adults that make you lose brain cells if you listen for too long. They seem to have a perfect balance between horror and engaging stories, and all of them also seem to have the possibility of working as legitimate stories in this information age. Hell, maybe that's why they work so well. Most of the ones I've been interested in have dealt with technology in some way or another, from a television show of questionable origin, to a video camera helping to pick up a supernatural entity, and all the way to a haunted video game cartridge. All of the stories work because this is the age we're in... and although classic horror stories will always be there, there also has to be a new age rising when it comes to horror... although maybe that's just me.

This is mostly going to be an overview of the phenomenon with specific examples spoken about. I won't go into incredible depth on the individual stories though. I might do later reviews highlighting some, but right now I really would like to speak about the stories in general. Like the SCP Foundation, these stories are horror-based, usually also based on urban legends, ghosts, mythology, and creepy and strange ideas.

You can't even start a conversation about creepy pasta without talking about Slender Man. Now, I know, everybody knows about Slender Man, but he's really the most popular of these stories. MarbleHornets, a YouTube account highlighting encounters with Slender Man, is probably the best story of the creature, although some of the picture from the SomethingAwful thread introducing Slender Man are also quite clever with moments of creepiness. I know there are a ton of blogs (alternate reality and otherwise) out there with Slender Man as a central antagonist... also a ton of videos as well. I just don't really read or watch those. So, I've only really seen the things I consider to be good. I can't talk about the lesser quality stuff.

Then we have Candle Cove, a children's television program from the 1970s. Or isn't rather. It is a program viewable by children only, with adults only seeing static. The premise of this one is interesting, basically making the program itself horrifying while simultaneously brainwashing the children who watched it. With of all of the weird programming on television, some of which seems to disappear from society's collective consciousness, this almost seems plausible... nay, even likely. So, the whole idea here of Candle Cove is one of both remembrance and absolute terror for a child. I like this one even if I don't love it. Check it out for both nostalgia ad a little terror.

Then you have Ben Drowned, a creepy pasta that involves a "haunted" Majora's Mask cartridge from one of The Legend of Zelda  games for the Nintendo 64. (Funnily enough it is also the only Zelda game I have ever owned or played.) It takes a simple story of getting something from a creepy old man and makes it interesting, with the game being both glitched and odd. When the person playing the game tries a popular glitch in it, everything goes mad, with the game seeming to have a mind of its own. This creepy pasta I both like and dislike. I find some of the premise promising, certainly, but the utter ridiculousness of the claim really makes this one sillier for me than most.

There are also a ton of children's cartoons that seem to have gotten the creepy pasta treatment, mostly in the way of unaired episodes of some series, or aired episodes that were largely forgotten about by the public. From SpongeBob SquarePants you get "Squidward's Suicide" an odd "episode" of the series that seems to detail the death of a central character. You also get strange ones like Bart from The Simpsons dying with the family grieving realistically (and then horrifically), or Steamboat Willie doing the same. It's all very odd that the same ideas seem to be done over and over again.... but it's also hard to argue with the results, which are entirely favorable.

Now, there are a ton of other ones, but I'm not going to mention them all. Rather I'm going to talk about one that is less popular that I like a ton. The first is "Stranger on a Train" which I think is a fun way of looking at multiple dimensions and a way of losing yourself to them. While this story takes a while to get going, I was really taken in by the middle of it. It never loses steam or breaks down, almost seeming plausible by the ending.

Now, this is a weird review, since I'm looking at a phenomenon rather than a single entry or a single fictional entity. And that makes it difficult to talk about. While a lot of these seemed to spring up around the same time (2009 or so), they also seem much more popular today than they were back then. Sometimes it almost seems like they sprang up independently all at the same time, which could be a creepy discussion on its own. I will admit that there is a lot of crap out there. For every great and terrifying story you find, there will be ten (at least) terrible ones. But finding the gem is almost always worth it in the end, especially if you are looking to be frightened. I think the whole idea of creepy pasta is both interesting and entertaining, and the fact that it's been taking the internet by storm is a positive occurrence to me. I think it adds a ton to the horror genre while simultaneously not dumbing the genre down. They're new horror stories for this internet age... and that really makes all the difference in the world. So, keep going, creepy pasta makers! I'm excited to see where you'll be going next!

(As a final aside, I think one of the biggest influences on creepy pasta as a genre might be House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. It has many of the elements of the creepy pasta while simultaneously coming out years before they were even a blip on the radar. I'm not certain if it has anything to do with the phenomenon or not, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if it helped kick the genre off. It really works as a proto-creepy pasta. in my opinion at least. If you are interested in a creepy pasta novel before creepy pasta existed, take a chance on this novel. It is absolutely worth reading.)

Movie Appraisal: The Tall Man (2012)

Bait-and-switch thy name is The Tall Man. So, while I'd rather not spoil this movie, I think I'm going to go and say what this movie is and what this movie isn't. It is an incredibly thoughtful film that works on many different levels, both moralistic levels and philosophical levels. It is a mystery story without any real mystery... I mean, you'll figure out what's going on before it's spelled out, but you have to go along with the ride for a while. It's a really, really good movie. It has some great acting in it, primary from Jessica Biel, who is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses (I also love her performance in The Illusionist.) and Stephen McHattie, who was absolutely wonderful in this movie and another movie I loved called Pontypool. This movie is not a horror film, although it has elements of a horror film. It is not a thriller psychological or otherwise. It is not a film unwatchable in the depths of night. There is no real fear here despite the tagline of the movie being "FEAR TAKES A NEW SHAPE." No it doesn't movie. You are misdirecting and lying to me. If you're going into this thinking, "OH BOY! This is an adaptation of Slender Man!" you are going to be sorely disappointed. It's a classic bait-and-switch. You say it's going to be Slender Man and then change it up so that it's a rather intriguing and screwed up plot.

I can't even go and say much about the film. I wish I could, but it would be such a disservice to the two major twists in the plot. Suffice it to say that the plot here is literally fantastic. It drives a point home... kind of... and the heroes and villains... well, it's hard to tell which is which by the end. There's definitely a gray area there... you know, instead of being a movie with EVIL SLENDER MAN STEALING THE BAY-BAYS. The movie is quite brilliant though. Despite not quite being a horror film, it's certainly billed as such. I was slightly disappointed in the film- the lighting was too bright and everything was really confusing- until I realized it was not the kind of film I had expected. Once I knew it was a different film my expectations changed, and I started to change my tune about the film. I never once thought that this was a bad film though, rather I wanted more thrills but was instead rewarded with thoughts swimming into my head. Not a bad trade truth be told.

The directing here, by Pascal Laugier, is well done and unobtrusive. He allows the actors to do what they do best while doing very few fancy tricks. The well lit scenes betray that this isn't quite a horror movie, but he can be forgiven for that. It isn't a horror movie. As for the actors themselves, Jessica Biel shines so brightly in her part of Julia Dunning. She makes a complicated and complex role have many different facets and work as both character and person, something very few movies seem to be able to do. I felt for her character at times. And her performance stunned me. I cannot say enough good things about Ms. Biel. I hope she continues getting great roles for years to come. Stephen McHattie also shines as the lieutenant investigating the missing children. This guy has such amazing acting chops. He puts almost any other actor to shame. I thought he was great as Grant Mazzy in Pontypool and Hollis Mason in Watchmen, but here is another wonderful performance here. He has an interrogation scene that is almost perfect in its execution. I basically wish he would play every character in every movie ever. He's just absolutely a joy to watch act. I should also mention Jodelle Ferland, who seems to have found a niche in "horror" movies with Silent Hill, The Cabin in the Woods, and now this one. Her acting isn't anything to be blown away with here. She has very few lines despite being one of the most featured members of the cast. But her acting is very competent, and for a young actress- well, I have to believe she's the best of her age group by far.

So, I'm not going to say much more. I really enjoyed this movie and would suggest it to anybody who likes movies in general. While it's not precisely a horror movie, I am going to bill it as such here. It's marketed as one and does have some elements of a horror film, particularly in the earlier parts of the film. It's a movie that also really requires multiple viewings to see the whole picture. I seriously cannot recommend this movie enough. With a great plot and some wonderful acting, makeup (Oh, I didn't say it, but the makeup effects are amazing here.), and messages I think this is easily one of the best films I've seen this year.

Movie Appraisal: Windigo (2011)

Windigo is an extremely low budget indie horror film created by Vince Emerson Media. It takes on the Slender Man internet phenomenon and tries to make a horror film out of bits and pieces of the myth. Now, I'm not going to be overly critical about this film because of its incredibly low budget and low production values. I don't want to blow these guys out of the water with too many nitpicks, especially when most of my nitpicks seem to be I wish they had a bigger budget or slightly better actors... neither of which you can get without money. I know this stuff. I've helped create some original content with other people. It's hard to do without money and with limited options.

I can appreciate this movie from many standpoints. Although I do believe that the Slender Man thing has been WAAAAAAY overdone in recent days to the point where I'm starting to dislike the people who like Slender Man, I actually do like some of the really good content made from the "legend" of Slender Man. Now, if you don't know the Slender Man phenomenon started back in 2009 or so with some photoshops of images created the iconic Slender Man on the Something Awful forum, specifically this thread. Others eventually came along, like MarbleHornets (that's their YouTube username) and started creating some videos based off of the newly created folklore of Slender Man.

This movie is all kinds of things. It's definitely riding off of the success of MarbleHornets... and the problem is that it's kind of hard not to be doing so. Both the video series and this movie have a group of people filming a movie as the characters start losing it and seeing Slender Man. Now, while I really like MarbleHornets, the premise of that webseries has become muddled and confusing to me for a while. Yes, I enjoy the content, but I long ago gave up trying to figure out what was going on. Windigo, on the other hand, is very straightforward. The plot is easy to follow, everything is setup well, and the content flows nicely. The movie could easily be divided into two parts: the beginning and setup of the characters and the story, and the ending which is a bit of a confusing cluster of images. While I did enjoy the setup, even if it moved slowly, the payoff was both satisfying and a bit annoying.

My least favorite part of the movie was the film tearing and the screwing with the contrasts and saturation levels and everything else. It took me out of the film knowing that these editing techniques can be done so easily. This is one of the reasons I like MarbleHornets... most of the time they have a much subtler way of showing the distortion, whereas this was really over-the-top, something I simply didn't enjoy. It definitely tries to keep the tension raised, but the stakes are never all that high, and even when they are the "special effects" and the copious amounts of quick deaths I couldn't make out just made the whole ending of the movie incredibly overblown. The saturation levels change constantly through as well causing more distraction than terror in the second half of the movie. The subtler "terror" worked pretty well, but the ending with the random shootout that looked more awkward than good and Slender Man on fire just seemed silly.

I don't really have much more to say about this one. It's exactly what one would expect from a movie about Slender Man. The beginning is pretty slow, but there is a build up there. If you've watched any of MarbleHornets, you know basically everything that's going to happen. The one big difference is that the town is against the filmmakers... for... uh... some reason? It's ever really explained and I didn't really get that at all. I guess they were hiding Slender Man's presence... for reasons? I don't even know. I think there was a zombie thing at one point too... not sure why at all. Because you're basically getting exactly what you expect, it's no better and no worse than what you're going to expect. It's ultra low-budget, but does have some decent actors as well as some that aren't so great. The scenes are pretty good on the whole though... and when distortions aren't present the movie actually looks pretty good. Slender Man doesn't really look all that scary... more like a dude in a suit, but parts of the film use him effectively, especially when it uses him more as a psychological issue than a real one.

I would only recommend this to hardcore Slender Man fans. While it's not a bad film, it's not really made for somebody who doesn't know anything about Slender Man or somebody who doesn't have some pre-existing likes for him. I'm pretty lukewarm on the movie as a whole, but there are some effective scenes, particularly the final one. Check it out if you're interested.

 

Genre Discussion: Horror!

Recently a great deal of my mind has been occupied with thinking about horror- not any particular horror, but more of horror as an actually general idea. I've obviously been watching a ton of horror as well as playing many horror video games, not only for this blog, but for my own general amusement and excitement. As my blog might point out, I don't find much horror particularly scary, but I do find a good amount of it fairly compelling. I love great horror stories. Movies that try very hard to be scary and compelling at the same time can ofttimes be completely brilliant. I love horror that tries to focus on being smart as well as terrifying, trying to blend both into wonderful and thrilling stories or ideas. It's one of the reasons I like both psychological horror and sci-fi horror as genres. They try to scare through both tension and intelligence.

My favorites types of horror have to be those types. Psychological horror can be highly effective in its execution simply because of the emphasis on characters' perceptions. Dreamlike psychological horror can be absolutely terrifying to me because I tend to have dreams that are often disjointed and highly creepy. One of my favorite psychological horror movies is Jacob's Ladder- a film that can be described as both intelligent and gritty. Definitely made in that crazy and wonderful time in the late 1980s and early 1990s, when everything was as gritty as coarse sandpaper and incredibly heavy-hitting besides. I don't usually see it as a really terrifying movie, but I don't know if horror is always supposed to be absolutely terrifying all of the time.

Stephen King has spoken about the whole idea of a differentiation between the different types of horror categories. He pegged it as three different types: terror, horror, and revulsion. The difference between terror and horror may not be obvious, but compare the difference between a "terror" we don't see but know exists and a "horror" we can see while it consumes our senses.

I tend to avoid revulsion types of horror on this blog and in general. I sometimes will find the mood to rush at revulsion and revel in it, but often I find revulsion repulsive and uninteresting, an easy way to get the audience to squirm and puke up guts, but neither refined nor thought-provoking. The epitome of revulsion for me has always been the novel Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. It was the novel that gave me reasons to squirm at the ideas of pools. Ugh. Revulsion is the basest and simplest of emotional connections to fictional media. Franchises like the Saw or Hostel series and any given gross blood-ridden exploitation film represents this aspect in movies. These revulsion films tend to be incredibly popular, especially today, driving the lowest common denominator of audiences into theatres to watch some absolutely wonderful gore and blood all over the screen. I really tend to look down at these films seeing them as easy to create, easy to make easy to act in, and safe to produce or direct. There are very few real risks involved in those movies and they definitely, these days, are only produced to sell tickets. Blargh! Slasher films, gore films, and even freakout films like the Paranormal Activity films tend to really follow this trend. It's incredibly disappointing and honestly pretty upsetting.

Revulsion may not garner the same support in other media that it does in film though. While slasher films toe the line between horror and revulsion, and gross-out films know exactly what they're going for, books and video games rarely jump into this category of horror. Reading Johnny the Homicidal Maniac recently I could see, in that comic by Jhonen Vasquez, a mixture of all three categories with a definite focus on the revulsion aspect at times, but with an intelligence and philosophy behind it that really drove it into an intelligent revulsion, something I could certainly find myself really liking. In terms of video games, Silent Hill and Dead Space as series tend to have large amounts of body horror within them, trying to both repulse and sicken the player. These are met with all types of success, of course, but often give off a response of terror in their repulsiveness. Most enemies in both games to me look like pieces of meat at this point basically... and I don't find that in the least bit intimidating, but I can see how some people can get freaked out by those monsters.

As for horror and terror, these are certainly the categories I tend focus on in my reviews. Horror could be represented by any number of things... name a space horror movie for example or any given sci-fi horror movie too. Apollo 18 is right there, being fun with tiny jump scares and some small amounts of tension but having little lasting effect on the viewer. And that's the main different here. I find horror to not be a lasting category- one that sticks with you through the years haunting you as you walk down the street at night or during a sunny and smiling day. Horror doesn't make you drop your smile suddenly... wondering if you were imagining Slender Man in the corner of your vision... or a Minotaur somewhere in the bushes just waiting... always waiting... No, horror is something far removed, something that has both definition and a far-off effect. It does not effect you and never will. That doesn't take away its scariness during a movie or video game or novel, but it certainly does limit its effectiveness after the fact. Monsters like Frankenstein's monster or any given older vampire... mummies, scary ghosts and ghouls, swamp things, and weird spider creatures all tend to drive what horror is all about. I mean, hell, even older slasher villains like Freddy or Jason or Michael Myers tend to follow a horror category... at least in their earliest incarnations. Horror tends to focus on being scary in the moment, but I've found that these movies tend to have either happier or absolutely ridiculous endings. The stories don't really stick in your mind and memory as terrifying, but rather as interesting or silly or fun. How many people even find the monsters or weird slasher men scary anymore? I look at Frankenstein's monster and just go: "That was once scary? I don't even believe that."

My favorite of the categories has always been terror, the most defined and elevated form of horror according to Stephen King's list in his nonfiction book Danse Macabre. I find that the media that scares me the most are the ones that I think about often. A creepy dark-haired boy staring out from a window in Noroi, the entirety of the 1981 movie Possession, but especially how the wife acts throughout the movie... I think about what truly scares me, what I find truly terrifying... the psychological torment present in Sauna or 1408, the journey through darkness that James Sunderland has to pass through in Silent Hill 2 as he loses his grip on reality, and Johnny Truant's journey of self-discovery and personal and impersonal darkness in House of Leaves. Hell, even the horse jumping off of the ship in The Ring or the vampire problem in 'Salem's Lot counts. Terror is the highest level of horror and easily the most subjective. It often relies on more telling and less showing- basically the "Nothing is Scarier" principle as defined by TVTropes. I keep seeing that this terror is very popular in very small circles. It is gaining in popularity recently, but also very slowly. I'll get into this a little further down.

Mostly these categories are defined emotional responses to stimuli. And honestly I find that one can easily add more categories as well. I mean do any of these really deal with literal and actual panic? Think back on some of the crazes from the early part of last century with the War of the Worlds radio broadcast... or even more recently at the more prominent and successful found footage films like The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity. There is an element of an association with panic and hysteria from the audience, almost as if they too are caught up in the emotions of the piece just as the characters on screen are. It's not as simple as just watching the horrific proceeding, but becoming a part of something you were originally not part of... self-insertion into the proceedings, something that does not really happen with any other genre. Think about even something like a haunted house (like the ones that exist close to Halloween) and all the teenage girls who go in and scream their heads off. There's an element of belief to that panic. Or do you not believe me?

Well, whether you do believe me or not I have a story to prove my point. A personal story from my personal store of personal stories. I am not simply a weird computer moth creature staring at the screen and typing with my weird wing-fingers. I also like scaring people at night. I was a part of a haunted corn maze group a few years ago. I dressed like a colonial zombie and helped to scare some people. I looked absolutely ridiculous... the Fabio or corn maze zombies with both longer hair and a too large shirt basically exposing me to the elements. Most people inside of that corn maze just found it fun and a good time all around looking at ridiculous monsters while trying to figure out and incredibly easy corn maze, but little children and young women would get absolutely terrified, and I always wondered about it. Children don't know any better. They are young and believe in everything from vampires in their closets to angry mothmen under their beds, but why do young women face the same fears between reality and fiction? Full disclosure: there was also one high school guy who may have been terrified as well, but I couldn't tell if he were serious or not. No one could because nobody expected a decently aged male teenager to be afraid of a corn maze while he was with his friends. My point here isn't some sexist rant or anything either, because... no, I'm not into that... but rather to point out that some people can get so into a fake scene of fear that they can honestly start going hysterical and threatening to urinate their trousers out of pure and unbridled fear from a man who is the Fabio of colonial zombies. I never knew that people would cry from fear by going into a fake scary corn maze with students who had on hastily put together costumes and make-up... but there was that and a lot of it. And you have to wonder about the nature of fear in that circumstance. You have to wonder about what's going through people's head. You have to wonder what causes people to become afraid over things like that.

I live in New England, not too far from Salem, Massachusetts. A few years ago I went into a gimmicky haunted house there. I was probably in my mid-teens at the time.I went in with my younger cousin and we had a good time looking at all the ridiculous costumes. Everybody had a good time and the costumed beings were trying their best to be scary and make people scream. Jump scares can often work for cheap screams, but not for panic... but there was this group of three teenage girls about my age at the time, and the ENTIRE TIME in that haunted house they were screaming their heads off absolutely terrified at costumed beings somewhat reaching out for them sometimes and moaning every once in a while. Yes, there was darkness and monsters... but none of it was real. I didn't actually have to fear for my life. Hell, none of them were even going to touch me. I found most of it funny... enjoyable certainly, but also seriously very amusing. I wonder how a person can seriously find themselves so into a situation they know to be fake. It's something I will never understand.

Of course horror can happen on so many levels from media to real life to inside your own head. I mean, the reason that the Slender Man is so popular today is because of his ability to show up anywhere at anytime and maybe you don't even remember it with the videos featuring him really blurring that line between fantasy and reality. How do you know if you've ever seen Slendy? How do you know if you haven't watched all of those videos of yourself you've taped, combing through each one to find the one with some film scratches and a man in a nicely tailored suit with impossible proportions? YouTube has gone a long way to make those lines incredibly blurry, with regular guys like MarbleHornets really going a long way in helping to create an online mythology. Creepypasta as well does a similar thing with all of the lost footage of crazy TV shows and such. I've always found the Candle Cove stuff really dark and satisfying for its creepy edge. But even look at something as silly as Ben Drowned or the weird Pokemon videos of the weird things that could possibly happen in the world of video games. They can be terrifying. You wonder if something like that could happen to you. I've been following most of these things for years, but it's only recently that many of these scary YouTube things have been gaining an audience. It's still niche and probably will never be mainstream or find any mainstream success, but it's incredibly satisfying to see that people are really finding some of these modern horror mythologies compelling. Some might argue against the value of a creature lie Slender Man, but how many of our own monsters in popular culture are created from movies or books? None of them are actually real... even if we truly want them to be.

What all of this comes down to is that I enjoy my horror like some people enjoy fine wine. I look at it in both a critical and receptive manner. I love finding myself terrified by creepy stuff- be they stories, movies, YouTube videos, or situations. One of the main reasons this blog exists is for me to showcase different horror STUFF and point them out- yes, reviewing them and giving my impressions, but also really broadcasting forgotten or rare gems that should be watched/played/looked at and duds that should be heartily avoided by everybody all the time. I always look at it like this: without this blog I would have never watched two horror movies: Sauna: Wash Your Sins and The Reaping. While The Reaping was a pile of donkey dung and probably one of the biggest wastes of movie time I have ever seen, Sauna was effective and wonderful, being both an absolutely brilliant and terrifying movie in a genre (psychological horror) that I absolutely love. I simply want to share what I love and hate with all of you reading this blog, from the hardcore horror fans to any random dude or gal just surfing and stumbling onto some of my posts. I don't just rely on horror reviews as you might see, but those reviews are the meat and potatoes of what I do on here and they are frankly what I enjoy the most about the whole blogging thing. I can't get enough of looking at some horror and sharing my views in writing to anybody who is willing to read what I put down.

Now, is horror effective and wonderful and just as artistic and important as any other genre? Of course! Even without critical acclaim, horror remains one of the greatest and most lasting genres that exists. The genre usually does not include the super-serious OSCAR MOVIES but who cares about those pieces of crud? I mean, I can still remember Black Swan winning at those MOVIE OSCARS and I found it literally detestable that that movie should win anything but absolutely worst big budget psychological movie ever. I mean, seriously? Anybody who actually likes that movie really should get their cranium checked for leaks because that movie was awful, legitimately and seriously awful. It did not work on any level and attempted to mainstream what was and is essentially niche. It made a genre that when it is good is almost perfect into a big dumb spectacle movie about Natalie Portman needing to get boned for some reason and then having weird issues about said hypothetical boning. And although there were a few decent moments, most of it was just so incredibly shallow, focusing so much more on Natalie Portman's heaving bosom and her fake masturbation than it did on any real substantial SUBSTANCE. And if that's what mainstream horror or thriller or WHATEVER is nowadays then I want absolutely nothing to do with that at all. I'll stick with my obscure and amazing little movies that nobody has ever heard of and that I love completely.

Horror should mostly exist for those looking to be frightened. Horror is there to scare first and foremost. Without fear what is horror except a story? No- true horror... whether it involves terror, horror, or revulsion... or anxiety, panic, despair, or a true unbridled fear... is something that tries to make you shudder in the depths of the night when you least expect it to do so. It takes your mind and throws it to the ground, stomping on your safety and sending you reeling under the covers. True horror, the best horror, only exists to terrify and to be as excellent at that as is possible in the story or idea. And while I complain about movies and games and all other types of horror at times, I absolutely love this genre more than anything else I can seriously think of. And that's why I find it so confusing when horror fans start bashing each other over the heads over which series are the best rather than just enjoying what horror is. I could care less about what a franchise gives me. Silent Hill is full of some wonderful and absolutely terrifying games. Why do I care about canon in a game that essentially focuses on the minds of individuals? So if the franchise changes style with every new game, why should I ever worry? I don't want every game to be Silent Hill 2. I want new and different things every time. Don't give me Pyramid Head in every game. Instead focus on some new and brilliant ways to scare the crud out of me. I could go on a fan rant for hours... so I won't, but I think that every single person who honestly thinks that Silent Hill  is terrible and it's all about CANON CANON CANON CANON CANONCANONCANONCANONCANONCANON should really start thinking about why they fell in love with the series in the first place. It's not about canon. It's about fear. It's about interesting sets, interesting and terrifying creatures, wonderfully macabre environments, and an exploration of a human mind. The games are all unique and wonderful in their own ways... even the one that suffers from trying to be like the movie. And I just don't see why people have to hate on something like Book of Memories when they have no idea what the hell the game even is yet.

And maybe that is a lesson to me as well: to simply enjoy without worry, without ranting... without... yeah, that's not going to happen, is it? I'm chill with Silent Hill... pretty sure I'm anti-chill with a ton of other things. I love horror. Absolutely adore everything about it. I love the sounds, the looks, the tropes, and the worlds of horror. I've been wanting to discuss horror for a very long time, touching upon what I love and what is brilliant about the genre. I do have 31 days of horror reviews coming up in October, so I guess I really do have a crazy focus on horror. Anyway, I'll probably put out a post about October Night III at the end of September, but expect on October 1 that there will be another insane month of horror reviews. And I'll probably pass from exhaustion... but that's okay! I didn't need to survive this October anyway!

Website Analysis: SCP Foundation

It just came to my attention that there is an organization that seems bent on the categorization and collection of various supernatural entities and cryptids and people from around the world. In a particularly daring move by myself, I went ahead and browsed some very obviously secure databases on the creatures found within the facilities and the Foundation itself and... well, I found some incredibly disturbing and [EXPUNGED] things. I almost cannot even believe that things like         ,            ,               , and                                                           exist at all. it really blows my mind away.

The facilities contain many creatures and humans and objects of any kind of design at all that may be seen as slightly [EXPUNGED] or disturbing. I myself have always been into strange and weird things, so this is an organization I can really get behind. They seem to be doing the right stuff.

The site, found here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/main, tells of many things that are creepy and weird. I think it's a fantastic site to browse for hours at a time, mostly because very obviously everything on the website is absolutely true. There are no falsities at all. Nope. Not a one.

Don't even look at me like that. I'm very obviously telling the truth and would never lie. Not once.

OH GOSH. WHAT IS THAT THING EVEN?

Oh, man... I just want to skim down this page writing so I don't have to see its ugly blackened butt anymore... Oh jeez, it is so scary that I am literally about to let my bladder do all my talking. There is no way that that thing could not be scary. i mean look at it. Look at those scary green eyes and it's ugly mouth...

And think about it standing right behind you, staring...

...always...

...staring...

                                                     ...right at your throat...
....                                                                                                      ....at the back of your head...

...into your window. At night. I...

I don't even know what to think. Can I think? Is it... Is it possible?

Do aberrations like that actually exist? Can there be such evils, such uglinesses, such awful things that exist?

can the end come so quickly, darkness permeating my very thoughts existence... existence fails me...

why... why did they have to come in the dark, their bars put up natural defenses against the light... their arms tightening, hoping to loop around some awful prey... or maybe me... can they see me? Do they? Can their eyes pierce through the darkness in which I now sit careening back and forth, a fetus in a world of naught, always hoping for the more visceral, but always knowing... always knowing that I am alone.

Don't look at me! Take those restraints away! I am not insane as I lay here in my bitter cell, glancing at the last days of a bitter autumn long since past. I am not insane, staring at those creatures as I become those creatures.

Keter.


                            SAFE.

Euclid. Euclid.



                                  MOntauk.

Slender... slenderman?




I am not staring at the back of your head.

I am staring at your neck...

THE SLENDER MAN is There

BEWARE THE SLENDER MAN. HE COMES FORYoU. Do yoU DaRe sEARCH?

Do you ever wonder what might go in the night while you are not watching when you cannot watch tHe end Do you not dare to find truth where there is only fiction or fiction where there is only trutH?

Show me nomore, wanderer, for I see nothing else. The lights are going out and I fear WHere I shall be taken from here. he comes for me in the night and I cannot find heim anymore.

EDIT FROM SAQUARRY: Uh, I don't remember writing this review, but I'll keep it up. Sometimes I write when I'm kind of tired. I'll check out some of this stuff and keep this up for a little bit while I try to find out if I was the one to write this or if somebody hacked my account.

Eidt: Dont adjst for mey. Insted. My Friend. Ill see too you.

EDIT #2 FROM SAQUARRY: Okay, not sure why this review has been going around my webpage, but I did a little research on this "Slender Man" fellow and I found that he's only an urban legend created at the forums of Something Awful. So,  yeah... not sure why somebody's trying to screw around with me.

Anyway, you can find some stuff about him (as well as other fake scary stories) here.

But I guess what I want you all to know is that this is probably some big crazy hoax and you shouldn't worry about me. Nope... not ever again.