Movie Appraisal: Dead Air (2009)

"People get the government they deserve, so fuck your people."

Dead Air is yet another radiohost-centered zombie film. It shares a few similarities with Pontypool, but for the most part the movies are completely different, with both different styles and different feels. While Pontypool is an incredibly good movie with a few small issues, Dead Air is rougher all the way around. It is the worse movie of the two, so before you choose which of these two movies you should watch (It should be Pontypool.) realize that this is just not as good of a movie.

That being said, it's not a bad movie either. Most of the movie is both suspenseful and tense, although there is very little horror here. Hell, barely any gore either. You did get the barest bit of nudity with a single bare breast showing before and after a woman gets turned into a zombie, but it easily done much more for the art than to be a sexual thing. And that's fine, but it seems both out of place and a little odd. But I digress.

As much as I'd like to call this a zombie horror film, it really isn't. It's very much a zombie thriller, something I've never really seen before. The horror is so downplayed and kind of pushed aside that it never really feels all that scary. The scariest element in the movie is the human element, and that really leads me into saying it's much more of a thriller than a horror film.

There's also a ton of stock footage in this movie and... well, I rolled my eyes a ton. I hate stock footage in films, and seeing both basketball and riot stock footage basically made me have a dislike for the movie from the get go. I didn't dislike this movie after it was over though. Rather I found it somewhat effective, often kind of amusing, and generally fun to watch. It does have its problems, but for the most part it is a fun zombie flick to watch, even if it isn't even close to the best around. Corbin Bernsen (I know him as the father on Psych, so maybe you will too.) directs an all around competent horror film. If Pontypool hadn't come out around the same time and been all around better I might be giving this film a better pass, but... I guess that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

So, there's a Bible quotation in the beginning: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." -Matthew 6:34. How do I take this? What does it even mean? Well, as a knowledgeable person about Biblical and theological STUFF, I'll tell you. It's talking about anxiety, and the idea that anxiety should be saved for the things that are happening now rather than things that could or might happen. Jesus says it so it must be true.

I kid, but seriously, it's a pretty decent passage to use when talking about terrorism or stuff, but does not really work for the message in the movie, unless the message is don't worry about anything and US government, dudes, you really shouldn't make zombie biological weapons that can be hijacked by Iranian terrorists so easily. I guess that's a pretty valid message though, isn't it?

Moving on, although I did find large chucks of the dialogue in the movie pretty snappy and fun to listen to, I found the actors not very good in general. I mean, Bill Moseley is the best actor there (playing the main character Logan), but even he seems to have a pretty big problem acting effectively. It seems that everybody has the same kind of acting issues, overacting or being more comedic than serious... and it comes off very strangely, kind of like the movie is more comedy than it is serious, which I don't think is the intention. The acting can be pretty hard to watch at times and it's the BIG THING that Pontypool shines in over Dead Air. I have to believe it had to do with the direction rather than every actor suddenly having a ton of issues, but I have no idea. All I know is that it is really odd and takes one right out of the movie. Again, the dialogue is actually pretty good though despite the acting. The cat food discussion in the beginning is comedy genius, and much of the dialogue is quick-paced and enjoyable. I just wish better actors or more effective actors had those lines since mostly they come off as a tad forced. There is stuttering as well and I wonder how much of the dialogue was on and off script. It would be an interesting thing to be able to figure out.

The movie is very tense though. Engaging even for the most part. But then there are these odd moments of comedy sprinkled in, like Logan's ex-wife and producer Lucy (played by Patricia Tallman) putting a small plant up as part of a barricade against a door that opens outward. At least Logan had the same response, word-for-word as I did while I talked to my screen.

I think I was expecting the film to be smarter or more intelligent than it actually ended up being. I was wondering if the zombies were blind because their eyes were bleeding. I was wondering if that would come into play. It didn't. I was expecting some character development, some kind of hero or something to emerge... but it never happened. I was expecting a big fight or some great jump-scare cheesy ending... but no,cit was cheesy and dumb in another way entirely. I mean I though Logan's cough was setting up his change into a zombie, but he never does. I figured Gabbi would murder him in zombie form... or his daughter would... but no, they aren't zombies and Gabbi seems immune for some reason. I just want to sigh and keep sighing at the sappy, overly dramatic ending to a horror movie where no horror really ever happens.

The funny thing is that the movie never disappointed me. It was baffling at times, but came off as a pretty usual and standard horror affair for the most part. I didn't like certain parts of the film, but the suspense was good and the tension worked quite well through the first three-fourths of the movie. Not so well after that though. Then it became awfully ridiculous, but it was good for a little while despite the acting.

The political message here is obvious, and obviously one of my least favorite parts. It's about terrorism, but not really, about the US being terrible, but not really. It has a soft political message that never really says anything and goes around and around itself and I find it kind of dumb and offensive. Why didn't labs notice that a bunch of their created zombie virus had gone missing? I think it was kind of dumb with some inconsistencies, but that's probably me thinking too hard.

I don't really feel the need to recommend this film. Watch Pontypool instead. They are very similar films but Pontypool does everything better. The acting is better. You can relate with the characters. The plot means something more than blanketed political messages. The radio program is much more enjoyable to listen to. It's a much more artistic film. And it has a great deal more gore and fun to it. So, yeah, I won't say to avoid this one at all costs. It's not bad, but I can't really recommend it without saying it's a worse version of Pontypool, and that's not much of a compliment.

Movie Appraisal: Marebito (稀人) (Stranger From Afar) (2004)

Well, here is a twisted film. Superbly twisted really. Hell,this is the kind of film that is the definition of twisted. I could compare it to Possession, as it does have some similar elements to that film, but it mostly stands on its own as a macabre and twisted road through madness. I could call it a descent into madness or into hell, or into any dark and terrible place one could think of. It could be a movie about an abyssal road that ends in an eye-openingly horrifying way. Takashi Shimizu, director of The Grudge and Ju-on films directed this film, and did a very competent job, especially because I am not a big fan of The Grudge  and films like it.

This movie is very open to interpretation, almost any kind of interpretation. I could easily call this movie horror, but there are very few horrific bits. I could call it supernatural horror, it definitely has elements of that, but it never really feels supernatural or anything but ordinary. Mostly I think this is a psychological film, one that delves into the mind of a man who wishes that he could see terrifying things, wishes he could experience those things that cannot be experienced, wishes he could experience the same fear that takes the life of some... but instead he falls to he emotionless world.

I think the movie is intelligent and well put together. This is the kind of movie that any interpretation could be correct, and I feel certain that my interpretation probably has elements of both being correct and being way off. It comes down to the interesting story of a man searching for fear, hallucinating or desiring himself to hallucinate so much that he hallucinates in his mind at the very least. He murders, kills, bleeds dry, and emotionally abuses his way to finding the terror he had so longed for. His "daughter," F, is probably the biggest question mark in the movie, and I have to admit that even I have a question in my mind as to whether she was his daughter or a figment of the daughter, a memory, an interpretation, or the physical daughter. I have to wonder whether he had an incestuous relationship with her because all signs point to yes. I also have to wonder if the people he murdered within the movie: his wife, the high school girl... if they really were killed or if that was all in his mind too.

So, there are a lot of variables to look at when interpreting. I do feel pretty confident about how most of the movie probably took place in reality and his own demented mind wanted to see demons or "Deros" ("detrimental robots" from Richard Sharpe Shaver's novel A Warning to Future Man) where there was none. He throws away his Prozac at the beginning of the film. This presumably leads to all of his major problems throughout the film.

So, enough about the plot. The interpretations can go off in different places, and I like to keep an open mind about them. The characters, mostly F (played by Tomomi Miyashita) and Masuoka (played superbly by Shinya Tsukamoto), are acted incredibly with the parts being both believable and sometimes hard to watch. The act of F sucking on her father for his blood is horrifying to say the least... hell, even if he isn't her father it's horrifying. Nutritionally one cannot subsist on blood alone... so I have to wonder what the hell was going on. It wasn't about her not eating... and I think the blood is more metaphoric than real... well, unless he was feeding her blood and that was slowly killing her... which is awful, plainly awful, in its own right. F is incredibly sexualized without even actually being sexual. She's nude in some scenes of this movie, but she's so animalistic, so inhuman, that it's impossible to see her on the same level as another human... and at the same times she is human... it's Masuoka who's treating her like an animal. So, what we see in the movie is what he sees, what his interpretation of the situation is. Anyway, yes, the acting from both is incredible and visceral, hard to watch without denying the fact that it is entirely watchable.

It is a horror movie as well despite everything, but I didn't find it that scary. I never find these that scary. I liked some of the cinematography, especially the camera effects as Masuoka looks out upon the real world, how people's faces blur out or a film tear happens in the scenery. I like how the camera Masuoka holds seems to show him a much more realistic life than his own eyes do. There is a terrifying realization there as if the eyes cannot be trusted, only the film, an objective medium, can be trusted. It's a sobering issue, and one that could easily be talked about for a long time. I liked those effects, loved the descent down the stairs and into the "hollow earth" in the beginning of the film. I loved that being mirrored in the ending. I liked the chaining of F, how he finds her and how he eventually comes to the conclusion of chaining her as well. I like how much it feels like she is his prisoner and eventually he is hers. She has done nothing wrong, but he has changed her into a terrible thing, a monster without a name, a human without emotion, a person who is not. The last scene, as he realizes his great sin, the terror in his eyes is palpable and hearkens back to his "spirit guide" and the way he died, the suicide that started off the madness.

The move is very slow paced. Oh boy is it slow. It never moves fast, and it does become a bit of a chore to watch for a while. The beginning and the ending are both very interesting, but the middle bits are less so. This all creates a very unbalanced film, one that almost works against itself at times. Tsukamoto almost seems too good of an actor for the part, never breaking character certainly, but also never really growing as a character. The development is there, but it's incredibly subtle, almost nonexistent. Hell, in some ways Angel Heart has a similar character... similar ending too. I think this movie is handled much better than Angel Heart, but the sentiment remains. I like how F talks near the end of the movie, but her character doesn't truly develop either, more becoming the dominant one because Masuoka has descended into fear and sorrow rather than because she has become stronger. It's weird to say but I truly did find the acting a little too good for the story. I don't think I've ever said that before either. Weird.

The movie is also a bit jumbled. I found it interesting at times, but kind of boring at others. The slow pace didn't really help hold my attention very well. The movie was well done but a little overlong. It had an interesting premise, but simply felt too flat at times to be really amazing. Again, Possession works as a good comparison. There was a movie that had superb acting and a similar premise. It was slow paced as well, but never felt that way. There was always something happening and you could relate to the characters and feel terrified of or for them. Here in Marebito the characters feel too far removed, the subject matter doesn't seem to intersect exactly what happened... and unlike a true allegory, most of the things in Marebito seem too realistic, as if they really happened rather than being an allegory for child abuse or spousal abuse or the underground of Japan, et cetera. So, I guess that's why I would recommend this movie, but with those warnings. I enjoyed it, but found some bits rather lacking and some of it fairly dry. It's a nice film to watch and an intelligent one to boot, but it does have it's problems and seems like it was filmed fairly quickly and the symbolism is rather pushed into the story rather than subtly inserted. The example for this being his wife yelling about the daughter to him. I  kind of rolled my eyes at that part because I figured that was going to be the case but didn't need it blatantly spelled out for me. But that's me. That's not everybody. And it is a good movie all around.

Masuoka wanted to feel the insanity. And this movie certainly brought insanity despite any complaints I have about it.

Movie Appraisal: Gyo (ギョ) (The Fish) (2012)

Much like my Uzumaki review, I shall review this anime movie alongside of its manga counterpart.

Junji Ito outdoes himself again with a very well put together, very disconcerting story about the end of the world as we know it (and we don't feel fine). He does these types of stories quite well even if there are large tracts of these stories that are very predictable. The juxtaposition of horror and humor actually works quite well at parts with the manga showing an incredibly unhealthy relationship that has its own brand of intentional or unintentional humor and awkwardness. The anime, on the other hand, is a much narrower vision despite having more characters. It feels simultaneously more likable than the manga, but also doesn't have the manga's charm.

Gyo has a predictable quality to it certainly, but it is enjoyable despite that. It's a short anime film, direct-to-video, about seventy minutes long, and I would say that it is worth watching for that period of time if you've enjoyed the manga or really like the premise of the movie. The movie's premise, for those of you who don't know, is that a bunch of fish (sharks included, cue chaos) come up on shore and onto streets and the like, terrorizing people and giving off the smell of human death. As the fish die and rot, the stink and the "legs" of the fish start to infect people through piercing them. These people bloat up and are eventually captured by the "legs" themselves, thus giving us some body horror to remember. The whole story has an air of science marches forward for good or ill feel to it. This is shown when it is told to the audience that the legs were probably originally created by Japanese scientists during World War II, who were looking for a way to create a terrifying biological weapon. The ship that the "legs" were on was sunk, and the rest is hypothesis because the legs changed to something both biological and inorganic. The legs then seemed to be possessed by the ghosts of those lost at sea... and its surprisingly well done and creepy.

It's an interesting premise for a story, and it does work quite well in both manga and anime form. I tend to like the manga slightly better, but that's only because the character development is better than in the anime and the ending is incredibly poignant. The anime version is pretty good at times too though, with similar characters (but not the same ones from the manga necessarily) and some very good visuals at times. I mean, obviously the style is taken straight from the manga, but it does a good enough job at adapting it to a moving form that I can't really complain about it.

The anime version gender swaps most of the main characters from the manga. While in the manga Tadashi is the main character and Kaori is his bipolar girlfriend who becomes infected, the anime switches their roles somewhat, giving Kaori the role of the main character and subjecting Tadashi to the treasure that Kaori is searching for through a good chunk of the movie. Their characters end up being a great deal blander than their manga counterparts, and it does take away a little bit of the tension from the story, although the anime has plenty of tension to go around with the end of the world happening... you know... for instance. Another gender change is the character of Tadashi's uncle's assistant Ms. Yoshiyami being turned into a videographer in the character of Shirakawa, and him basically having the same kind of role in the anime that Ms. Yoshiyami had in the manga.

Two characters are added that are not in the manga, Erika and Aki, college friends of Kaori who have some issues themselves. Erika is a loose woman, who seems to have far too much interest in men and having sex with men even at inappropriate times while Aki is a very quiet and stocky woman who seems to resent the two other characters a bit. Erika seems to be there for pure fanservice. It's pretty blatant since she's sometimes barely clothed, and in one scene is actively having sex with two men. It doesn't happen too long and the horror and the mystery always seem to be the main focus, but the fact that a character is used for fanservice is a little grating. There is also a fanservicey squid tentacle scene out of nowhere at one point... purely for putting a tentacle on woman scene in the movie I'm sure. It was a little distasteful, but thankfully didn't go too far or last very long.

Besides those things, most of the movie was a decent adaptation. The story, although simplistic in some ways, is also quite creative and quite terrifying in others. I mean, it's not a movie that's going to keep you up all night, but it does become creepy when you think about what's going on. I like the animation quite a bit even if the anime is a little too clean for my taste. Takayuki Hirao does an excellent job at finding a great style to give the story, and I never found myself disliking a single instance of the animation despite the differences of style between the anime and the manga. The character design is simple, but I found that it grew on me to the point where I certainly didn't mind it. And the fish and leg design is simply creepy and well done. No complaints at all about that stuff.

I think the story is brilliant, telling of the sins of scientists changing beyond their control and become something relentless and awful, something that they cannot control and that can destroy... well, everything. It's a fantastic idea, and I'm glad it was executed so well. The ending of the anime does not have quite the sting that the ending to the manga had, and that really is a shame, but it was overall still enjoyable. Is it a scary film? Not really, but there is a lot blood and a lot to think about. I would recommend watching it for the visuals and story alone, especially if the story sounds at all interesting or if you like Junji Ito's works.

Anyway, I enjoyed it. I didn't absolutely love it, but I thought it was pretty good. So there you go. Take that for whatever it's worth.

Manga Judgment: Black Paradox (ブラックパラドクス) by Junji Ito (伊藤 潤二) (2009)

Well, I never thought that the day would come when I would not only be reading a manga, but would be actively reviewing it on my blog here. I've read a few of Junji Ito's works recently, and I have to say that I like most of them even if I don't love most of them. A little while ago I reviewed the movie version of Uzumaki and found it a little ridiculous, but I really liked the manga version. I especially liked the ending which reminded me of House of Leaves, which remains my favorite novel.

Anyway, Black Paradox is no Uzumaki. I don't know exactly how to proceed with reviewing this. It's a new type of review I'm trying out here and hopefully this works. I'm also finding this strangely ironic because this weekend I'm off to an anime convention with my girlfriend (She's into this stuff a great deal more than I ever could or would be, and I'll be joining her for that kind of insanity...), so I guess this is as fitting a time as any to do a review of a manga.

See, I had personal reasons for disliking manga and anime for the longest time. I had seen people literally consumed by these ways of storytelling. Certain types of anime and manga tend to breed fanboys and fangirls who eat, breathe, and live these stories. I found it out the hard way more than once. Socially awkward anime fans... an ex-girlfriend who paid more attention to her Japanese animes and manga than she ever would to me... and some of the weirdest fetishes I have ever heard of outside of the internet. I still don't understand Yuri and Yaoi, and I really don't want to understand them. Blast it, last year I was at the same convention I'm going to this year and in a panel I was sitting in on, hardcore Yaoi conversations started up with young children in the same room! Kingdom Hearts fans are a little hard to understand at times... and teenagers and adults should know better than to be sick enough to speak about cartoon relationships and sex around young children who enjoy essentially a children's video game series.

I throw all of these things out there because, as I've mentioned before on this blog, I have a bias against anime and manga. So when I say I like something in those media, like Uzumaki or Miyazaki and his films, it really does mean something special. Trust me on that one.

So, my girlfriend, bless her crazy head, introduced me to Junji Ito not long ago. She mentioned it in an offhand type of way, something about a horror manga I might enjoy if I gave these things a chance. She set me off to reading it, but I doubt she ever really expected that I would with my bias against the entire medium. She was shocked, literally shocked, when I told her that not only had I read some manga, but that I had enjoyed it. It's new for her, seeing me actually enjoy something that she's been into long before I met her and not complaining about it, not hating on it, but actually reading it, even recommending certain stories to her! She finds it funny, but I don't like having the bias against this medium. I've had some bad experiences about manga and anime and popular and fetishistic Japanese things, so I never thought I'd ever enjoy an anime or manga thing... but I was wrong.

I really like Junji Ito's style and his storytelling. He isn't the best writer in the world, nor is his stuff incredibly horrific like some reviewers tend to think, but he tells a pretty decent story with a good pace in the vein of Lovecraft, the short stories of Stephen King, and early cosmic horror in general. He has some odd tastes, and his characters tend to all have similar looks to them in different stories, but he does a good job at drawing and writing compelling stories. I like the manga he does for the most part. Because I do like a lot of his stuff, allow me to say that I'll probably be doing more reviews of his manga and the movies based off of said manga in the future.

So, let's get started! Black Paradox is not very good.

It's starts off pretty well, with an interesting premise of four people going to commit suicide together for similar reasons, but the story simply falls apart when it gets more complex. The characters barely exist as characters. They are so one-dimensional and shallow. There is no real weight to the story either as many of the characters in it either don't accentuate the seriousness of what's going on or are simply too callous to care. There never seems to be a main character despite one of the characters, Marisol, seeming to take that role in the beginning. Only one character ever seems to even grow throughout the story: Baracchi, and that's only because of some plastic surgery and a convoluted  love triangle type of thing that never gets any closure anyway.

There is a mad doctor who is so villainous it's almost comical. He seems to want both of the women in the story without any problem at all. He, conveniently, is the main hinge of the plot, and his villainous behavior and extreme understanding of science and medicine are the only reasons this plot ever even gets off of the ground. I just want to sigh at the convenient story and ridiculously one-sided characters. I will say to Junji Ito's credit that his drawings are mostly superb, and his art shows a dramatic improvement from some of his earlier works even if there is not as much grotesque art, the characters and the backgrounds are much better done in general.

I found the story and plot a little too preposterous to set aside my suspension of disbelief, and constantly found myself wondering why things were happening, why was it these four people? What was going on? and sometimes when those question come into my head, it can be a good thing, but here it felt like a distinctly negative aspect of the manga. I didn't really enjoy reading the story after the second chapter or so, but pushed through because that's how I roll. Again, the art is pretty good, but the story is literally almost laughable and the characters are basically one-dimensional or nonentities.

I did like how Baracchi has a "birthmark" that takes up half of her face. I liked the art there and would have loved to have had her backstory explored. The same goes for all of the characters. I found their backstories so much more interesting than the story presented. Four people going to commit suicide together and are stopped by some weird forces? That sounds amazing to me. But the finished product with body parts opening up to another dimension where souls are stored in jewels of a sort?  I don't know. It just didn't do it for me.

The premise is really that weird. These four people can eventually, once their body parts are removed from them, enter into a comically enlarged removed body organ (that's conveniently stored in a tank or a pool) into another dimension to find soul stones that are used for various things like energy expenditure and such. Oh boy... Sure, there's a message in there about people being willing to exploit anything that makes their lives easier, even if it's their own souls... but... hmm... the message I just wrote there actually makes me like the story a little bit more. If the manga was written solely for that message it's still a bad manga, but at least it's trying to say something.

Honestly the idea of the story sounds a hell of a lot better than the execution. Reading through it was almost excruciating, especially when Junji Ito's visuals weren't as strange and amazing as they usually are. No, I;m not contradicting my earlier statements either. His people looked better as did the NORMAL and MUNDANE backgrounds, but his horror elements and creepy art were woefully missing from this piece. I found nothing incredibly memorable, and largely this manga is forgettable and not as good as most of the Junji Ito stuff that I've looked through over the last couple of weeks. I could compare Black Paradox fairly unfavorably to Hellstar Remina (地獄星レミナ), which I thought had some similar elements but was better executed in every single way.

I can't recommend Black Paradox as much as I've enjoyed Junji Ito's works. Go check out Gyo, Uzumaki, or Hellstar Remina long before you waste your time with this one. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't have a good time reading it. I don't think it's really worth reading. I don't think it's the kind of quality I've come to expect from Junji Ito.

Anyway, I may do some more of these Manga Judgments, but expect harsh criticisms at times if I do. This is a style I do not generally like, so it takes something really special to blow me away. I don't want to show my bias, if I can help it, but when something is bad expect me to really scorch the boots off of it. That being said, if I get the inkling to review Hellstar Remina, you'll see me actively loving everything in that one... so much more than Black Paradox. (I said that last in a very derisive tone as I wrote it. Just thought you readers should know.)

Movie Appraisal: The Curse (Noroi) (ノロイ) (2005)

Now, here's a movie that I can't really accurately describe. Noroi is a strange Japanese found-footage film brought to us from director Kôji Shiraishi dealing with psychics, supernatural phenomena, and a paranormal expert investigating different strange occurrences that all deal with a demon by the name of Kagutaba. It's all over the place at times, moving from one scene to another with lightning fast speed, never really focusing on any of the smaller characters within the film, and setting the story up without much fanfare. In some ways the movie is very stylistic. I can imagine many people falling to one side or the other about the quality of this film, especially its quality as a horror film. It has some strange decisions in its plot and characters that are almost mystifying. And yet it does a good job all around at being a found-footage film and bringing about its story, however strange, by any means necessary.

The film is found-footage as I mentioned previously, with the paranormal investigator Kobayashi and his cameraman doing most of the filming of the strange incidents. But every once in a while a Japanese television show, either an interview show, game show, or reality show seems to come on top of the footage to show some background about characters and their situations. The pacing is all over the place through this though. It never really sets itself at a comfortable pace nor does it ever reach a high echelon of storytelling. That all being said, the story is well done and interesting. The characters are very believable. The acting is mostly very good. In general it is a good movie, maybe even a good horror movie, but I found some things to gripe about anyway.

The movie never really became a scary experience for me. There were plenty of good moments. Hell, there were some moments that felt right out of The Blair Witch Project to me, and I actually found those quite effective in general. Stuff moving inexplicably, the woods and the shrine at night, hell even some of the added in or CGI figures worked pretty well, maybe even because they looked so out of place. The boy in the film, Junko Ishii's son, is possibly the creepiest character in the film. In the beginning of the movie, as he looked through the curtain, I definitely felt a shiver creep up my spine. That face actually was kind of creepy. Sorry to say that about your face, kid, but it was a little creepy.

The movie is fairly predictable though, but even so many plot points come out of nowhere with little plot-wise reason for those things to happen. Characters die for seemingly no reason with their deaths plastered in words on the screen telling us of their deaths rather than showing or telling or anything else. It was an odd way to go about killing off characters in a horror movie, and it fell rather flat for me. I actually rolled my eyes the first time it happened because I had said, "And that was the last time I ever saw them. They died a day later." And the freaking subtitles said almost the exact same thing a moment later. It was a little ridiculous.

The main characters did a good job throughout though. They were consistent and all acted beyond my expectations. There were moments of silliness and overacting, but they were often realistic and all-in-all really well done. The shrine scenes are probably the best and most hectic in the entire film. Certainly creepy. The faces and some of the things seen in those scenes were absolutely awesome and horrific, and now all I want to do is go to a Japanese shrine. I thought that the possession scenes were particularly good too as well as the psycho... I mean, psychic... Hori, who has to be the absolute best actor in the film. I mean seriously, the guy went over and above in the insane department and it really worked. I've seen and known a good amount of homeless men who were a little off and he fits the bill perfectly. I would have taken him for a guy who was a bit off any day of the week.

I also liked the subplot for the town that was put underwater for a dam. Something about that is fascinating, although maybe that because I don't live very far away from a dam that was put over a bunch of towns and villages and the like. I've always found the lost town aesthetic interesting and cool, and the whole plot of it in this movie certainly worked really well for me.

Yes, this movie has a lot of missteps, and yes, it is overly long at times. Boy is it ever. This movie could have been thirty minutes shorter and I don't think it would have been a bad thing. It really stumbled in place with its slow pace. The faster paced scenes or the setups to some of he weirder scenes worked much better than the slower scenes where nothing much happened. But that's the nature of film, and I liked the movie well enough that even the boring and slow bits weren't all that bad. Anyway, I did like the movie, finding it as a decent fond-footage film in general with a few decent scares packed in. It's intelligent as well, but is very Japanese at points, so much so that as an American I had trouble recognizing what I was looking at. I think I also lost a lot not being able to read Japanese because of all the writing on screen at different times.

Anyway, I recommend the movie. It's good, straightforward, and shocking at times albeit tamely shocking. (I'm making myself an OXYMORON today.) I think most people will find this movie effective and well done. I wasn't ever freaked out or scared by it, but I almost never am at this point. It does have predictable elements and is very slow-paced, but I think the movie is definitely worth watching once, especially if you like odd Japanese horror with a strange and supernatural edge.

Kagutaba. Ka...gu...ta...ba...

Ka...
.....gu...
.........ta...
.............ba...

KAGUTABA LIVES

Movie Appraisal: Pontypool (2008)

Hello listeners. This is Saquarry coming to you from any corner of the earth you're listening from. Today we're going to read an analysis of a very interesting film out of Canada. I guess you could consider this a psychological film, a zombie film, or really anything in between. (There's a lot in between, I know, but bear with me. I haven't been on the radio that long.)

Listeners, there's a something I have to get off my chest about this movie: It's really good. Fascinating really. It's effective- yes, effective- as both a movie and a horror movie, something that I think you'd all agree is pretty difficult to find in this darkened and drastic age of sterile special effects, terribly written screenplays, and critics who think that the only movies that matter are the ones that involve historical figures of one sort or another or A-list actors. Let me tell you listeners that those things have never been true.

You have been lied to your entire life, thinking  big names and Hollywood actors are the only people you should be watching movies from. You've heard that horror movies are scum, drivel, pieces of undercover and disguised excrement on a bleeding sidewalk. And you want to know something: everything about those statements might be incredibly true, but that doesn't mean that a horror movie can't be just as good- nay- better than any other kind of film out there.

I love horror movies. I love the feel of them, the look, the style. Everything about them works so wonderfully. Of course not every horror movie is great, good, or even okay, but Pontypool, well here's a gem if I've ever seen one.

The film is all about tension, plot, and the characters. It's effective as a horror movie despite having very little gore, blood, or brains spilling out on sidewalks. Most of the tension comes offscreen where you, as listeners, can only hear what's going on, imagining it as it happens rather than being shown all the garbage gore in shocking detail. And by the tone of my voice, I'm sure you can tell that I look down on the idea of showing every detail. The horror sometimes comes from not understanding and from not seeing, and this movie takes that to heart by showing a radio station and very little else. No explanations beyond some very vague hints as to what's going on. No reason to believe that the world hasn't gone to hell.

Now, listeners, I don't feel like I should spoil this movie. It's good enough and straightforward enough that I don't think it deserves that treatment. It's slow-paced, and builds on both the characters and the plot in such a way that you actually feel for them and want them to succeed. The horror comes from the realization of infected words and phrases, especially those that infect some of the words closest to your heart. Can you imagine a world where you can't express a pet name like "honey" or "sweetheart" for your lover, friends, or children? It seems impossible, but simply imagine a world where your own language has been turned against you, that even in the understanding of a word you may get infected by it. It's horrifying in it's own kind of silly way, and I think it's wonderfully executed even if the idea is a little out there.

This is a movie that could really only be Canadian with their dual languages and historic fight over which language should be spoken and et cetera. I even remember going to Canada a few years ago, seeing the signs in both French and English and thinking that was pretty cool, but I digress. It's a serious issue over there, and this movie certainly touches upon it.

Pontypool is an easy movie to make up theories about as well. I mean, the epilogue certainly leaves a few questions. But there are even questions as to how the "virus" started and if it involved anti-English terrorists or was just a naturally occurring thing. Did the two leads, Grant Mazzy (played by Stephen McHattie) and Sydney Briar (played by Lisa Houle) end up in that epilogue? And how would they have done that? I think it has to do with the fact that most seem to point this movie out as being a psychological horror movie. I do see some elements of that, but despite the people infected with the virus not really being zombies, they're basically zombies. So, this movie really seems to be a zombie film more than anything else... until you start thinking about it. The whole idea of changing reality, the way words work, the meaning and understanding of terminology... well, listeners... maybe this movie has a lot more than meets my little discerning eye. I like to think that maybe reality could have been shifted or changed... or maybe the epilogue was nothing more than a spirited and odd death dream. Who can tell? All that really matters is that the movie was tense, well done, and actually horrific while showing very little.

The acting can be hit or miss at times, but is mostly very good. There are really only four actual characters that show up on screen, but many more who call in on the radio and become personalities through that. The filmography and direction can be odd at times as well, but is mostly incredibly solid if a little slow at times. Bruce McDonald, the director, did a great job altogether. I have to say that the way the film was shot and done all around was pretty fantastic. The screenplay and the lines themselves were also very good, and I'll have to mention Tony Burgess as both the screenwriter and the novelist from the novel which this was adapted from Pontypool Changed Everything.

So, speaking a little bit specifically, I did some work for a radio station a few years ago. Technically I can still use their soundproof studio if I ever need to record anything. I found that the radio scenes themselves were fantastic because some of them reminded me of my experiences doing what I did. The joking, the hectic pace, the one person who is often exasperated and tells everyone else to stop goofing off... It all was very true to life and really drew me into the story and its characters. I do wish there had been more though. At an hour-and-a-half running time, I thought it was a little short, possibly missing a bit of character development from the very beginning of the film.

So, loyal listeners out there, I must bit you a very fond farewell. This review has been a blast. Seeing this movie was fulfilling in some ways. I would both recommend the movie and encourage watching it. I enjoyed it, and maybe all you people desperately seeking some great horror will enjoy it too.

Video Game Assessment: Super Meat Boy (2010)

SUUUUUUPPPPPEEERRRRRR MEEEEEEEEEEEATTTTTTT BOOOOYYY!!!!!

I started playing Super Meat Boy recently after I fell in love with The Binding of Isaac. Since both games have similar art styles and developers, I really hoped that I would enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed Isaac. And you know something? I did. I really did. I mean, not in the same way or anything. Isaac is a Roguelike with random rooms, random items, and random enemies for the most part. It plays completely differently than the platform and memorization hell that Meat Boy presents. But they both have the same humor, the same sorts of references to other video games and popular culture, and they both are very tongue-in-cheek at points. They are also both really fun to play.

The game, though, is something of an oddity in this day and age. It is a callback to some of the ridiculously hard platformer games that came out on old systems like the NES, SNES, etc. It is a very difficult game on top of everything else anyway. And when I say difficult, OH BOY. I MEAN DIFFICULT IF YOU CATCH MY MEANING. It's difficult, okay? It's frustratingly hard at times with actually beating a tough level being incredibly satisfying, which happens less and less in this era of simple and easy video games marketed towards a increasingly casual market who don't want challenges, don't want to get lost in the game, and who don't want to spend time actually getting good at it. Like any good video game player, I must scoff and turn my nose up at those people in a ridiculously exaggerated manner.

Nah, not really. I personally don't like the casual game market, but I don't think it's a bad thing either. Just not what I'm looking for. I like getting very skilled in a set of games or enjoying stories, worlds, characters, etc. And because of that casual games just don't appeal to me, but Super Meat Boy is certainly not a casual game. You have to master the controls if you even want to think of getting to later levels. You have to literally be pixel perfect to play the game effectively.

The game starts out simply enough with easy mechanics, simple jumps and movements, wall jumps, running, collecting items called bandages to unlock different characters to play as. Ordinary stuff. And then you realize that you are playing as a man made out of meat. And that this Meat Person, or "Meat Boy,"  has a girlfriend made out of bandages, "Bandage Girl," who's in turn been kidnapped by a fetus in a jar with a monocle and a top hat, "Dr. Fetus." Okay, it's  an odd game. Unique and really different. The story doesn't really matter much more than an early Mario game, although the story is told better in this game and some of the cutscenes are actually kind of brilliant, hilarious, and all kinds of well done.

I consider myself pretty decent at platformers. I grew up playing them on the NES and the SNES. I loved the old Super Star Wars games (I played them to death.), the early main Mario Bros. games, the Donkey Kong Country games, and the Metroid games. I'm sure there are others too. But I have to say that I've never played anything quite as difficult as Super Meat Boy, at least not that I can actively remember at the moment.

Frustrating may be a better and more appropriate term. There were times that I played the game and just wanted to heave my controller through my television, rant and scream, and then finally curl up into the fetal position and grow a top hat and monocle and murder meat... Seriously, just let the damn piece of meat burn in the fires of his own making... watch him... uh...

Um... yeah? My point is that the game starts off easy but gets hard very quickly.If you do not master the controls you will find yourself unable to complete many levels. It took me a while to be able to become good enough to get to the last world of the game. I still haven't collected everything nor have I beaten every level in the game yet, although slowly but surely I'm getting better at everything.

There is one level... it's a character unlock level, of which there is one to the normal worlds... and anybody who has played the game knows which level I'm talking about. I have found endless difficulties with that level to the point where I played a level I should be able to beat in under a minute for about four hours straight. I beat the first level, but had so much trouble on the next that I had to quit, therefore losing all of my progress. Woo-boy was I unhappy with that one.

I played the game on the Xbox 360 (Xbox Live Arcade), but it is also available on Steam at the very least. It's a great game. It has hours and hours and hours worth of gameplay. It is difficult enough to make you earn every hour you play and every victory you gain. I like the game, but the frustration cannot be summed up by a person who has never played it. It's terribly difficult, a callback to older days, and I certainly wish  more games like it would exist.

All of that being said, with its unique story and characters, great controls and gameplay, and difficult challenge, I find this game to be perfect for a video game player like myself. I love the difficulty and the challenge. It gives me something to strive for within the game, something to push myself forward to accomplish. So, I'll recommend this game to those who like an interesting and unique challenge of a video game, but don't say I didn't warn you...

Movie Appraisal: Uzumaki (うずまき) (Spiral) (2000)

Well, here's an oddity of a film, one that is much more bizarre than terrifying, and much more mystifying than interesting. It's like a Tim Burton nightmare world, full of spirals and darkness, but with a lot more blood and guts as well. It's a fairly silly film altogether although it does have some wonderfully macabre ideas. I enjoyed portions of the film, but the whole thing left me wondering if there could have been a better execution... but I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's start with...

PART 1: THE MANGA
So, I know this is based off of a manga called Uzumaki. I've read portions of it, but would rather not spoil the later bits. So, I'll only talk about the portions that are relevant to the discussion of the movie. This film is a really good adaptation of the manga. It has scenes basically taken word-for-word, shot-for-shot, from the manga. That's certainly not a bad thing. The manga certainly has its moments, but...

Let me tell you something. I know just about nothing about manga. This is the absolute very first manga-thing I've ever even read. My girlfriend coaxed me into reading it, knowing that I'm incredibly fond of body horror. And yes, there is body horror and it made me happy, but reviewing a manga or even 100% understanding it was something I wasn't even certain I could do. I mean, I sometimes feel as if I have something viscerally against the very idea of manga. So, this was different and even somewhat difficult for me o be okay with, but I did it. I read it, and I watched the movie. I have to say that it is a very good adaptation, probably even better paced than the manga itself.

That being said, in a weird way some parts of the manga seem better, whereas at other times parts of the film are better. I personally prefer the main character, Kirie, from the manga. I found her movie counterpart to be a much sillier, much more ridiculous character. She's hard to take seriously, and her actress seems to be a little over the top. Okay, really over the top at times. That being said I preferred her boyfriend, Shuichi, from the movie, finding his manga counterpart moody and annoying.  I mean, seriously, the dude says the exact same lines in most panels he's in, and he acts almost the exact same, which is like a psychotic person. In the movie he's much mellower, calmer, and genuine. I really liked his character in the film until the very end... but I'll get there. Oh boy will I get there.

As for other items between the manga and the film, I found most of the adapted portions to be pretty decent if a bit predictable. I actually wish more had been taken from the manga because the plot might have been a tad more coherent at times... although even the manga has the problem of a pretty incomprehensible plot at times. I, again, prefer the pacing of the film, seeing it as being less episodic and meshing together a great deal better, but I actually prefer the storytelling of the manga, seeing it almost like a scary tales for kids type of story.

PART 2: HORROR
So, I'm going to point this out right now: this movie is not scary. It is not horrific. It is not terrifying. It does not make me jitter and shake. It does not make me want to scream or run. Honestly, I found myself laughing fairly often, usually mocking the ridiculous direction and the very often strange characters. If there's anything I can compare the movie to it would be Twin Peaks. The same sort of humor as well as odd-ball characters  are present in both. I certainly don't mind that. I mean, I love the hell out of Twin Peaks, so seeing a movie with a similar feel had me kind of falling for it a bit.

The big problem is that the acting and the direction are not very good, and while Twin Peaks has at least a few fairly disturbing scenes and elements to it, Uzumaki is mostly pretty ridiculous. I can name all of one creepy scene in the entire movie, and that's more because of the thought of the thing and the gore than because of the film being effective at creeping me out. It was the scene where Shuichi's mother tears off her own fingerprints. Yeah, that was pretty crazy and disturbing, but when I saw Shuichi's father kill himself in a washing machine... well, I found myself laughing hysterically at the thought. I mean, I couldn't stop laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of the situation.

Overall for a horror movie, it isn't scary. That does not make a great horror movie. The film is interesting and sort of a fun watch, but is so damn ridiculous at times that it's easier to make fun of than be scared of.

PART 3: THE SPIRAL

The imagery of the movie is all about the spiral. All you see is spirals everywhere, spirals in hair, in the air, in food, in objects, on people, in smoke, in water... I can just keep on going. Would you like me to keep stating the objects that have spirals? Because I will. So many beautiful spirals everywhere.

Oh, I kind of like looking at them. They're really fascinating, aren't they? I could... well, I could just look at them all day long, staring at them, wanting them everywhere around me. I can... I can almost hear them speaking to me, telling me the secrets I've always wished to know. These secrets spirals, the brilliant vortex of both life and death, mocking me as it leans and moves, vibrating in my very mind, calling to me as I... as I...

PART 4: TRANSMIGRATION
I think I'm at peace now, with the spirals multiplying on my very being. I'm at peace that my cochlea is spiraled. I'm so happy that my fingers have spirals upon them. I am gladdened in my own very red heart that my hair curls enough to be a spiral itself.

The ending to the movie is absolutely awful. It ends both abruptly and without any fanfare. I think the rest of the movie is probably worth watching, but the ending is so cliched, abrupt, and disappointing, although the very last image of the film is absolutely breathtaking. I guess the good has to come with the bad. I wish the movie would have been better in general. If it had been I could have seen myself absolutely loving it if it had been a stronger movie, but as it stands it's pretty mediocre overall. It has some fantastic ideas, mostly coming from the manga and the imagery within it, but in general just doesn't work all that well with its odd direction style, its rough actors, and its sometimes comic dialogue. It also has some pretty bad CGI at times, but to me that isn't even surprising.

I think the movie certainly had potential, but failed ultimately as what it was trying to do. I wish it could have been creepy or scary or a horror movie, but instead it comes off as a pretty rough and well-paced adaptation of a pretty mediocre  and terribly-paced manga.

Movie Appraisal: Les Diaboliques (1955)

This Henri-Georges Clouzot French film really surprised me. I never would have expected it to be anywhere near as good as it is. It takes a master director to make a film even half as effective as this. Hell, I would have said before that only Alfred Hitchcock would have been able to do it, but Clouzot not only delivers, I believe he delivers better than Hitchcock would have. That's high praise.

The film is about two women who try to kill the man they share between them. Christina, his wife (played by Véra Clouzot in an absolutely brilliant performance), and Nicole, his mistress (played by Simone Signoret in a subtle and incredible performance herself) star as the two women. They both have their reasons for killing off this awful man, who is a principal of a school he seems to hate. The man, Michel Delassalle (played by Paul Meurisse), is a terrible person, who would deserve any death that the women could give him.


Over the course of the slowly paced film, Michel is killed by the two women, drowned very carefully in a bathtub, and then dumped into the school swimming pool to be found by others later. The problem is his body disappears and this very odd tale of suspense and intrigue commences, all the time with the audience wondering what is real and what isn't, and even moreso if Michel is still alive or if he is truly dead. Theories upon theories went through my head, from supernatural to someone messing with the heads of the two women. Hell, I even once thought that it might have been some kind of awful death dream from Christine, especially with such a focus on her heart condition. And yet, the ending was still both creepy and surprising despite being... well, I'm not going to spoil the ending. The movie itself asked me not to and I'll respect it.


The acting, slow pace, and subtlety really work well in this film, building the tension from beginning to end and leading to an amazing payoff. This film is equal to some of the best Hitchcock films, being very similar in both suspense and ultimate payoff. I'd like to compare the overall film to Vertigo, but both are very different films in general. I think Les Diaboliques is an almost incomparable movie, one that works on so many more levels than it ever should. Its technical quality is sometimes suspect, but the filmography is always brilliant, and despite being black-and-white, the contrast of what you are seeing is incredibly well done, very stark and very intense. 


The film, although in French, is very much a Hitchcockian film. If you've ever enjoyed Hitchcock, you will enjoy Clouzot as well, almost definitely, and I'd recommend its interesting music, its high tension, and its wonderful build-up of both plot and characters to anybody who would enjoy a movie in general. It's fantastically well done and holds up quite well even over sixty years later. I could watch the movie again and again and enjoy it more every time despite knowing the ending. It's a rare movie that adds more to it once you've seen it once.


Anyway, this is a great film, obviously a classic, and I can't say enough great things about it.

Movie Appraisal: White Noise (2005)

I had a very mixed reaction to this movie. It, on some levels, is very competently executed, but on others is simply befuddling. I guess my ultimate thought is that it is a movie that never really needed to exist. It seemed as if it was trying to talk about EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) but really became much more of a ghost or malevolent spirit film by the end. I guess the three malevolent figures could be demons as well. I mean, that right there is hard to get a conclusive thought on. I did somewhat enjoy the film, although, again, I found portions of it to be incredibly unnecessary, which is not a positive.

My biggest complaint would be the persistence of funerals. I have no idea why they kept springing up, but after a while they started to fall very flat, becoming a little too much for this hour and thirty minute movie to handle. The emotional intensity was lost on me after a while, maybe about halfway through the film, maybe a little more, and once it was gone, well, there wasn't much else to care about. Characters kept dying, funerals kept happening, and I stopped caring.

That being said, Michael Keaton is pretty good throughout the movie, and really is the best part of it. I like the idea of the EVP stuff, and the three demonic figures were interesting until the very end. I guess I still don't see the point though. It's just difficult for me to see why the movie ended the way it did or why things happened the way they did. I mean, yes, the "killer" was stopped, but ultimately nothing was solved but that. I think that makes it only a partial story, only a partial victory. So, the movie ends on a down note, which is fine, but also slaps the sacrifices in their faces by showing that no matter what they did they wouldn't stop the three shadow figures, which... okay, I can accept it, but it doesn't make a good conclusion.

So, talking about the movie itself, its plot and such, it really starts out like a weird Michael Keaton romantic comedy. I don't mind that, but it's a really odd way to start a horror movie. 1408 starts a similar way, but really gets so much more effective as the movie progresses whereas White Noise is really only effective towards the middle of the movie when few actual objective facts are known. The feeling of weird romantic comedy never really goes away until maybe the very end of the film. It's the weird bright colors of the cinematography, the slick apartment, and the camera focusing on characters in such a way as to portray a kind of weird romantic comedy effect. I can't explain it fully, but that feeling never truly went away.

White Noise is supposedly a horror movie, but it has very little actual horror. It's not shot like a horror movie as I said above, but that arguably works in its favor, especially at the end of the film when it goes into full horror movie mode. I guess if you like the ending the film is effective, but if you don't, and I fall into that boat, the film really becomes fairly ineffective at bringing across its ultimate points.

I really went into this movie with an opened mind. I had never seen this movie before, nor had I ever learned much about it. I saw a lot of negative reviews for it, but I rarely agree with other reviews, so I figured I'd give it a chance. I liked some of the ideas and some of the execution. The slow beginning was nice as was the middle of the film when everything was still pretty unexplained and spotty. My personal favorite part of the film was when Keaton's character starts reading the old transcripts that state words like "PIG" and "BASTARD" over and over again, trying to tell the EVP investigator, Raymond Price, to give it all up. I don't know why, but I really liked that part of the movie, showing the malevolent entities mixed with an investigation aspect.

My biggest problem was the amounts of deaths in the movie. It really kept me from caring about the characters or sympathizing with them. The lack of characterization in the second half of the film also shows, with most characters being defined with an adjective or two. Very one-dimensional and very flat. All the other major characters really besides Keaton's get shifted to the background and barely make appearances at all. It all feels rather awkward, never really giving enough screentime or care to anybody. I don't know, I guess the feeling that there was a concentration of plot over character didn't work for me. It might have if the characters were insignificant or if there hadn't been more of a focus on characters earlier in the film. Hell, it might have worked if the plot was better, but instead... it just fell very flat for me in general.

All of that being said Michael Keaton is fast becoming one of my favorite actors. The man is an excellent actor, but I feel very strongly that this film didn't let him show off his acting chops which is a real shame.

I also found it strange that most of the victims were women. I mean these demons seem rather woman-specific in their choices of victims. And it seems like it's always men who do the EVP as well. It's a strange kind of sexism that mystifies me. The "killer" is a man listening to the EVP stuff. Keaton's character, Jonathan, does a well, and so does Raymond. All of the other characters are basically female and never really have much or anything to do with the EVP stuff in general except to watch it. Kind of strange. I can't really say anything beyond that. I started noticing it and had no idea why it was chosen to be that way.

I didn't like the ending, not because Keaton's character dies, but because of the way he died. I don't know, mixing bad CGI, another really dumb and unnecessary death, the random killer gunned down by police, and yet another funeral... it felt really strung together and mechanical. I could have predicted it, but if I had it would have been a lot better. It didn't do it for me, hell most of this movie just felt so pointless and ridiculous. I did like parts of it, but overall it left a bad taste in my mouth. I think it's absolutely mediocre, and I also have no idea who this movie could be made for. It's not for the horror audience because it's not scary. It's not for the EVP audience because EVP doesn't work like that at all. AT ALL. So, who was this made for? I have no idea. All I know is that past the halfway point or so the movie really isn't worth watching... maybe a little for the imagery before the climax, with the broken windows of Jonathan's apartment and the three figures darting across a window or two... but mostly the movie isn't really worth it.

Video Game Assessment: The Binding of Isaac (2011)

"BLASPHEMY!" I did not yell about this game because that would be incredibly stupid. I have to roll my eyes about how people can be so sensitive about anything and everything in this age of information and knowledge. Everything can and probably is offensive in some way. Why do people have to take these things so personally. Look, I'll be offensive right now. I dislike most people and think that their opinions are more than likely wrong if they disagree with my own. Does that make me a bad person? Probably, but in my head I'm not bad at all. My friends think I'm okay. My family likes me well enough. My girlfriend doesn't abuse me that often... Look, my point here isn't that offensive material or potentially offensive material be blocked, but rather that it should be embraced. If you call me hurtful names, I'm going to brush it off, maybe even embrace those names because... why not? I'm pretty sure my taste in movies has been insulted too many times to count. I would rather watch 1408 than The Third Man, rather see 12 Monkeys  than The Matrix or Dark City. I prefer anything to Shutter Island. My point is that this rather offends some people despite that being my own personal opinion. I'm not wrong, but that doesn't make me right either. My point is that people should stop being sensitive and just shut up. If you're offended by The Binding of Isaac, don't play it. Simple as that. if you're offended by gay romances in Mass Effect 3, don't romance the gay characters. I mean... how difficult is it to avoid these things? Answer: Not very.

I start out with the controversy when I'm talking about this game because the religious or anti-religious content in this game is... well, it's barely there at all. The story is simple, barely touched upon at all. Yes, this game seems to make fun of hardcore evangelical Christianity, but why shouldn't that be allowed? It should and has to be allowed. It's a freedom of expression and speech. If a person is comfortable with their beliefs than why should this be blasphemous or dangerous or insidious or whatever else? It's a fun little game with a bunch of incredibly well done items that seem to critique the ideas of Christianity in some very silly ways. If it's taken seriously, then maybe some hardcore Christians should take a long, hard look at themselves, and if it's simply a parody of these beliefs, then why is it inflaming so many people?

I guess the fact that other "mainstream" systems that aren't Steam aren't accepting The Binding of Isaac into their game libraries peeves me off a little. It's unfair to this incredibly clever game. So should people be upset about this game? No. It's a game, people, a fun, enjoyable experience with some religious overtones. It has a not dissimilar feel to the novel Carrie by Stephen King. Why is that novel or the movie not screamed at and about? It's like people are afraid that children and other people who play this game may start to doubt beliefs... Hmmm. if a video game has the ability to steer people away from beliefs then I guess those beliefs are pretty shoddy, wouldn't you say? I kid to a point, but seriously, this game is ridiculous and strange and has no real bearing on anybody who is a normally religious person. It isn't subversive or angry about religion. It simply states a story, in my opinion, through the eyes of an extremely disturbed and abused child. His mother is "religious" and hear the voice of "God" telling her to kill her son, Isaac. That sounds like a suspiciously similar story to the actual binding of Isaac by Abraham in the Bible itself, a story that is pretty odd on its front too, trying to show that trust in God is more important than earthly anythings. Now, I'm not going to scream at the Bible or anything. It's a story. I doubt very many people hear the voice of God telling them to kill their children, and I think it's something that wouldn't happen today. A child is incredibly important, and as a parent, even if God tells you to kill that child, it is your responsibility to not do that. That would be really stupid on both God's part and the part of the parent. So, showing this religious mother attempting to kill her neglected, abused, and naked son is reprehensible and insane, and maybe a good way to show how the Bible can at times be absolutely ridiculous and unrealistic, which isn't a bad thing.

Anyway, the game itself is endless fun. Unlocking different items is always fun and different combinations of different items work differently and give each and every game a different feel. It's a game that I compare to the original Legend of Zelda, and it plays fairly similarly to that and has clear homages to it as well in terms of the item rooms and some of the bosses and enemies. You can play as six different characters in the game; all of them play differently and each (except the joke character) has a religious name like Isaac himself does: Magdalene, Judas, Cain, and Eve. Another character, Samson, is slated for the expansion The Wrath of the Lamb, which comes out at the end of the month.

The main enemy of the game seems to be Isaac's mom herself, but really, in the end, it seems to be Satan. In find that both comical and interesting. The game is incredibly fun.It's enjoyable to play at any time,but does have its own frustrations and difficulties. I've run into a few bugs, usually not terrible ones, but bugs nonetheless. Most of them have been character models disappearing or color palettes changing around at odd times. The game can be incredibly difficult at times and is often very luck based, which can be problematic for the harder to play characters like Eve and ???. If the right materials and items are not dropped, those characters will often fail to defeat the game. There are eleven different endings and the game ramps up the difficulty after you finish the game a certain amount of times. It's only available on Steam, which due to my owning an incredibly crappy computer, meant that to play it I had to install Steam. I did and the game works well, but I really would have rather not installed Steam if given the choice. I wish the game could have been on other platforms. It's rather sad that it isn't.

Anyway, this is an extremely enjoyable, almost addictive game, and should be played by everybody. I spent $4.99 on the game and it was worth every penny for the hours of gameplay and enjoyment I received from it. I also hope that I offend at least one person with this review and what I see herein. Or at least anger some people because of the assumed censorship going on. Man, I would love to have actually offended someone. That would make my day. This game isn't worth people getting up in arms about it. It's a fun experience that does not really need anybody outraged against it. Seriously, anybody outraged needs to reassess their lives and what actually really matters in those lives.

Anyhow, I recommend this game to anybody with a decent computer. It's fun, addictive, challenging, and altogether a really well put together game. It's made by Edmund McMillen, co-creator of Super Meat Boy, and it shows, with this game having a very similar art style and even some of the same characters from Super Meat Boy. Oh, I should probably mention that this game is considered in the Roguelike genre, despite the fact that I've never played Rogue.

Movie Appraisal: No Way to Treat a Lady (1968)

I saw the stage version of No Way to Treat a Lady a few years ago and fell in love with it. I mean seriously the sense of humor, the story, and the characters were all so fantastically done. The writing was fantastic, and the acting and the singing happened to be pretty good as well. It was easily one of my most enjoyed theatre watching experiences I've ever had. I loved the music (the stage version is a musical by the way, in case you didn't catch it) and the plot. Man, it was intense and funny in all the right parts. Absolutely fantastic.

Well, the movie predates the stage play, which itself is predated by a novel of the same name by William Goldman, better known as the writer of The Princess Bride  novel. Now, William Goldman can certainly write a certain kind of very well done humor, dark and fantastic in all the right ways.

Anyway, No Way to Treat a Lady is essentially a movie about a serial killer and the detective who is trying to find him. Arguably it can be seen as fairly serious in some ways, at least with the subject matter of a man killing older women across New York City. The film features the detective and the killer as the leads of the production. The detective, Morris Brummel (played by George Segal), is a Jewish cop who seems to have a very certain way of living his life. He has no girlfriend, lives with his mother, and seems altogether to be a slight be of an oaf. And yet he is extremely likable, similar to any shy man who has ever existed. He starts investigating the case and falls in love with the first witness Kate Palmer (played by Lee Remick). The love story is altogether kind of sweet. Kate is shown as a lady on her own who can take care of herself. She is often forward where Morris is embarrassed, nervous, or seems just plain terrified at the prospect at talking with a woman who isn't his mother. A good portion of the plot deals with his relationships between the two female characters in his life and how he has to learn to act around them. He falls in love with Kate over the course of the movie just as she falls for him. And it's really kind of sweet. I'm not usually a sucker for love stories because seriously, screw love stories, but this one works for me. Maybe it's because it feels realistic, or maybe it's simply because these characters remind me of actual people. I don't really know.

The rest of the story is about the serial killer proper, Christopher Gill (played spectacularly by Rod Steiger), a well-to-do Broadway theater owner who recently lost his famous actress of a mother. He kills older, often middle-aged, women by strangling them, seemingly envisioning his mother as he does so. Mr. Gill showboats his accomplishments, phoning the police after his murders. He eventually targets Morris, and they speak with one another from time to time, eventually they grow to have a strange rapport with one another. This is certainly more on Gill's side than Morris's side, but it's interesting to see the progression of open hostility at first to almost a strange friendship of sorts. I think it's portrayed spectacularly in the play version, but the movie does have some of it as well, although it is a great deal subtler, which I think is to the film's detriment even if the play came afterward.

The main premise of the film is that Gill dresses up and acts as different personae to get into these women's apartments. The whole first scene of the movie is Gill as a priest talking with and eventually strangling an ex-Catholic widow. He also plays a German plumber, a seemingly gay hairdresser, a terrified woman, and even goes as far as imitating Detective Brummel. He affects different accents and intonations when becoming these characters, and the acting from Steiger is a real treat to watch. He pulled off a fantastic performance here. The problem is that his own pride at his acting ability and accents does really give him away in the end. He almost has to be some sort of actor. And his own hubris is what finally fingers him for the crimes. He wants to be the gentleman killer, who murders only his chosen victims. When another murder is attributed to him, he flies off the deep end, almost getting himself caught because of it. Eventually the game of cat and mouse between Morris and Gill reaches a head with Gill unhappy about the dangerous games that Morris seems to be playing with him, and Gill decides to play his own game of setting a meal up for Kate so that he can kill her.

His plans don't work out as they should though, and Kate survives. He flees to his theatre and Morris meets him face-to-face, eventually deciding that this is his man after seeing a portrait of Gill's late mother with the same lipstick on her own lips that Gill placed on the victim's foreheads. Morris asks Gill for the keys to the costumes, and knowing that the costumes he used would be right there on display, Gill gives the key to Morris only to intercept him in the darkness below the theatre, trying to kill him with throwing lights at him and such. Morris eventually shoots Gill and Gill knocks Morris out. Gill staggers on stage, becoming each of the characters he had acted in turn, remembering the murders, and eventually, when confronted with his crimes, asking Morris for forgiveness, calling back an earlier scene where Gill asked for forgiveness from Morris after yelling at him over the phone. Morris does not forgive Gill, who has finally been captured.

This movie is really good in general. The pacing and the plot are incredibly well done. And this movie really seems to foreshadow some of the dark comedy murder mystery-like television shows that would come out long after this movie. Hell, there are some Psych episodes that certainly have a similar feel. My point is that this movie actually works as both a serial killer film with a certain darkness that those movies have in them and as a comedic film with almost romantic comedy elements to it. In general this is a great film for anybody to watch. The acting is superb, the story is both tense and incredibly funny, and the movie is a really fun watch in general.  It was an enjoyable experience. I'd certainly watch it again if given the chance or if I was in the mood for it. So, I have to say that I would recommend it. If my description sounds intriguing, go and check it out.

Also, and just a last remark here, I compared this movie to The Princess Bride in my head before I wrote this review,and I just find it funny that two very different movies can be compared together so easily on issues like tone, humor, and enjoyment. Honestly, if you like The Princess Bride, you'd probably like this movie too.

Movie Appraisal: Possession (1981)

So, I was about to watch and review the American version of Dark Water and then, seeing as how that movie is pretty terrible, almost ridiculously painful to watch, I stopped and decided to watch Possession instead. So, I'm watching this movie, intrigued by its style and a very young Sam Neill as the male lead, and my mouth drops open, my eyes as wide as they could be, fear and bile are rising in my throat and a thought comes into my head, a thought that seems to be the driving force behind this movie: OhboywhatdidIgetmyselfintohere?

Okay, I think if the image above doesn't tell you that this review may involve some graphic images, then I'm certainly telling you now. The movie is fairly graphic at times, with some of the hardest scenes to watch that I've seen in a very long time. Slasher movies with unrealistic gore and all those gorn films that exist out there have nothing on the methodical and paranoid way that this film drives its creepiness and blurs the edges between reality and fiction. And it does it in such a subtle way, causing the watcher to be dropped down a rabbit hole from which there is no escape. With Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani in the starring roles, this movie has a brilliant cast, amazing acting, and a story that screams paranoia and distress through its every pore.

The cinematography is unsettling to the extent of making the audience itself feel unease at what is coming next. I kept thinking about the scenes that might be coming next, what could happen. And the fact is that this movie surpassed every expectation by bringing out something more disturbing than I had in my own mind every time. The fears and threats that are brought out in this movie incredible. I don't know if I've ever seen a movie that works quite like this or that even feels quite like this one. Everything makes you squirm, from the simple environment to the ways characters act. The character of Anna, the wife, is particularly hard to watch or to be involved with at all. Any person with a significant other who happens to be female will find fear in that character, the cold-bloodedness, the insanity, the beauty mixed with the absolute danger. I've never found myself frightened of small and pretty women, but with the acting here blended with the utter insanity of the character, Anna has entered my own personal nightmares as a demon herself. A man-killing demon.

In some ways I think this movie may in fact be unreviewable. I spent half of the movie (at least half) with my mouth or eyes as wide opened as they could be, both shocked and awed by what I saw. It's so unlike anything else. It's like a movie about insanity that actively involves the viewer in that insanity. I'm not comfortable enough with my own sanity to watch this movie with discomfort. I don't think anybody is.

This movie seems to be an allegory of a disintegrating marriage, separation, and the fact that some people can never work out as a couple, but the movie is damn well near impenetrable at times anyway even with that knowledge. I mean I simply think back on Anna's apartment and the scenes therein or the calm way characters deal with absolute terror, murder, and the most twisted sorts of acts imaginable, and I find this movie viscerally mind-shattering. The twisted and complicated plot, the doppelganger characters, the way that characters react to problems, and the horrific elements of the film are all very intense and are all very confusing, and create a story that literally feels more terrifying than most other movies, even without absolutely horrific images, monsters, or... My point is that there is a subtle horror here, one that hits a person in the back of the mind rather than in the front of the eyes. Focusing on this movie, I found myself needing a break from the intensity, only to find myself drawn back in for another round. Movies like this are very few and far between for me, and that makes it even harder to say that I have no idea whether I liked the movie or not.

I think a few good comparisons in films might be Mulholland Drive by David Lynch or Lost Highway by the same. Possession has a very Lynch-like feel to it despite being a much creepier and crazier ride than either of those movies. Although I will admit that I had a very similar feeling to Mulholland Drive after watching it as I did to Possession. Both films gave me a lot to think about, and both were not necessarily a film I came out loving. In some ways, to a video gaming crowd, the film also reminded me of Silent Hill 2 and its plot. I can't really explain the connection except that the feeling of the two movies somehow seemed similar to me. I really can't say why, just a brain thought I had, I guess.

Andrzej Żuławski directs this film beautifully and almost sadly. There is an intensity to every scene, and it is also very hectic even while nothing is actively going on. The filming itself is very different, evoking Lynch and also other directors who have chosen to explore the mind and its facets. The imagery is wonderful, blending mundane and absolute horror without alienating itself. It's very reminiscent of Jacob's Ladder is some very specific ways and that is probably the strongest comparative piece I know of. I have heard that Repulsion by Polanski would be a similar comparative piece, but although I own it, I've never actually watched it. So, I have a very hard time comparing it.

I had never heard of Possession before, even being the psychological horror fan that I am. I'm incredibly glad that I found it and could watch it, but at the same time it's almost as if my brain has gone through a change by watching it. I feel like I'll never be the same, never look at a relationship... or for that matter a woman... the same way again. There is such an emphasis on a lack of knowledge between two people, lack of trust as well, showing both as hypocrites looking for perfection and instead getting a normal person as a spouse or significant other. It's a very powerful message, one that I have a hard time not squirming at in one way or another.

I don't know how much I should actually say about the movie. It's heavily metaphorical, but plays as if it is a plotted out story. The problem is that although the story is not hard to follow, the captivating element is not the story or the plot, but rather the interactions between characters and those characters interacting with their environments as well. Mark, played by Sam Neill, plays an undeniably Sam Neill role, both crazy and sane, hero and villain, blending the lines as he has proven time and time again that he can do so well. This is certainly a wonderful preview of the things that would come from his career. The way he nonchalantly cuts himself on the electric steak knife, cold eyes, no wince in pain... that image will stay with me for a very long time.

To point out just how... how tough this movie is to review and watch and... and enjoy, I guess... I'll describe a scene: Anna moans at a statue of Jesus while holding a bag for a straight minute, begging or pleading perhaps. Then a scene goes by and she absolutely freaks out in a subway station for minutes as liquid pours out of her. This is the story of her miscarriage. Think about that for a minute. Those first two sentences are literally Anna telling Mark how she miscarried. Oh my... how can I even, for a minute, begin to express words that mean anything to this movie? How can I go and say I understand it as well as I should?

It's a brilliant movie, in my opinion, but difficult to follow. I assume with repeat viewings I'll get more out of it, but I'm going to find myself hardpressed to watch it again anytime soon.

Anyway, I recommend it to people who like psychological horror, but with the warning that it is a really screwed up movie, one that really might affect you in an unexpected way. I think I liked it, but I really can't promise that I did. That's weird when I can't even decide whether I liked it or not. Really weird...

Anyway, I've been doing this blog for two years today. I've had a crazy time doing it. I really wanted to get a review out today and since Dark Water sucked pretty badly (although I'll probably review it) I thought that an actually deep and interesting movie would be a good one for a two year review. Oh, and if any readers have any questions on the movie, ask in the comment section, and I'll try to answer as best as I can. It's a really cool movie to debate and talk about.